I miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss him :(
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by thisiscrap2 on Monday, February 9, 2015 and has 20 replies.
I really don't know what I'm doing anymore. I feel sad at not distancing myself. I don't like hurting people or making them feel bad but I feel like I have to stand my ground on this one.
But I really don't think its right that he treats his acquaintances better. It's getting to the point where they know more about him than I do and yet he says I should make him the priority? When was the last time I was a priority. The second I give in, he will assume everything is okay and he'll go back to his usual self. I can't allow that. Something has got to give.
I do see that he's trying but not when it matters. That's all that needs to change.
I don't want to give in but I miss him
But I really don't think its right that he treats his acquaintances better. It's getting to the point where they know more about him than I do and yet he says I should make him the priority? When was the last time I was a priority. The second I give in, he will assume everything is okay and he'll go back to his usual self. I can't allow that. Something has got to give.
I do see that he's trying but not when it matters. That's all that needs to change.
I don't want to give in but I miss him
What happened with ur relationship? Did u break up? Re u a scorpio? I miss my boy too but he stubborn as goat
No he's just a close dude that probably thinks I'm mutually hot stuff or at least I'm like his bestest buddy ever.
But for whatever reason he adjusts his personality and actions according to my behavior. Which he misinterprets all the time.
Because he thinks I don't give a crap about him or I don't want him around he leaves me alone, puts everyone else first but he doesn't think he's doing it.
So when I do nice things for him he never reacts in a normal way...he does this shunning me away thing or vice versa.
So I got mad at him last week and I'm holding my ground in not talking to him. But I miss him
But for whatever reason he adjusts his personality and actions according to my behavior. Which he misinterprets all the time.
Because he thinks I don't give a crap about him or I don't want him around he leaves me alone, puts everyone else first but he doesn't think he's doing it.
So when I do nice things for him he never reacts in a normal way...he does this shunning me away thing or vice versa.
So I got mad at him last week and I'm holding my ground in not talking to him. But I miss him
@captainpimp I have a BILLION times. Not literally but a lot.
But yet nothing really "changed". He keeps attributing to me setting the mood on how he acts but my behavior shouldn't alter how he is, when no one else's behavior affects his behavior.
It's annoying cause its a stupid circle that shouldn't exist, we each are just reacting to the other person's behavior so its this endless problem that's never going to end unless someone changes the pathway.
The biggest stupid part about it when things are working its working WELL almost tooooooooooo naturally. It's never happened so easily and natural before.
Bah. This sucks.
But yet nothing really "changed". He keeps attributing to me setting the mood on how he acts but my behavior shouldn't alter how he is, when no one else's behavior affects his behavior.
It's annoying cause its a stupid circle that shouldn't exist, we each are just reacting to the other person's behavior so its this endless problem that's never going to end unless someone changes the pathway.
The biggest stupid part about it when things are working its working WELL almost tooooooooooo naturally. It's never happened so easily and natural before.
Bah. This sucks.
Update:
He approached gemini friend and she asked him if he had talked to me about the underlying problem and if everything is better. He said yeah its somewhat better. (He never talked to me about it!!!!) She said to him that if he wants to solve the issues then he should have a talk about it, and he just stood there quiet.
She said also to him that he still didn't get how much I support/admire him and that frankly he has no one else that is doing that and that he's lucky but if he wants to continue to have someone like that in his life he has to encourage the same thing and he told gemini also about his positive life changes/plans that he's trying to pursue and he said word for word "She can always be apart of it."
So she asked him if he told me that, and he just got quiet and stood there.
I don't know if hearing any of this stuff is really helping. Gemini says that I should just try harder because he doesn't seem to be budging and that he's set in his ways and he clearly doesn't get human nature. But as stubborn as I also am, I do know that if I go back and initiate first, then things will just go back to the way things used to be and this problem will pop up again.
But then all of you guys are right, aquas are not the kind of people to coddle you..they love independent and confident people and all I do is shut down.
This is so sad and pathetic at the same time
He approached gemini friend and she asked him if he had talked to me about the underlying problem and if everything is better. He said yeah its somewhat better. (He never talked to me about it!!!!) She said to him that if he wants to solve the issues then he should have a talk about it, and he just stood there quiet.
She said also to him that he still didn't get how much I support/admire him and that frankly he has no one else that is doing that and that he's lucky but if he wants to continue to have someone like that in his life he has to encourage the same thing and he told gemini also about his positive life changes/plans that he's trying to pursue and he said word for word "She can always be apart of it."
So she asked him if he told me that, and he just got quiet and stood there.
I don't know if hearing any of this stuff is really helping. Gemini says that I should just try harder because he doesn't seem to be budging and that he's set in his ways and he clearly doesn't get human nature. But as stubborn as I also am, I do know that if I go back and initiate first, then things will just go back to the way things used to be and this problem will pop up again.
But then all of you guys are right, aquas are not the kind of people to coddle you..they love independent and confident people and all I do is shut down.
This is so sad and pathetic at the same time
Posted by flowingwater
I love cuddling and hugging, it's just that scorps give off this poker face and composure that screams "don't touch me!"
How do you expect us to step out of ourselves with that type of attitude?
It's so easy for me to go up to a cancer or cancer and do this but not scorp. He prob gets that vibe from you even if you think your giving your all.
I'm not giving my all. Im serious all the time and focused on my to do list. I used to be different. Coy, social and yadda yadda with him but HE changed that. He distance himself, not me. He was the one that got all flaky. Not me. HE was the one that was giving empty promises!
He didn't start changing that flakyness until he started noticing me talking to his best buddy(another aqua) alot.
Situation is stressful, made me grab my bottle of Excedrin. If you guys can't get the communication part down then I don't know how this will end.
The lack of communication is a problem HE started and continues to create. The minimum I expect are things like:
- Keep me in the loop about things that will affect me
- If you are upset/happy then tell me don't just keep it to yourself and expect it to solve itself
- Compliment me once in a while
- Don't ignore me if people are around, include me on occasion
- Communicate expectations
Stuff like that. He doesn't say anything, he keeps everything in his head and always assumes he told me or that i could read his mind or some crap.
Then i get into a situation that becomes a problem that he created, that he doesn't even bother taking ownership of and people have to clean up after his mistakes
Essentially, all he has to do is talk about what he's thinking...what he wants/expects and learn how to socialize!
- Keep me in the loop about things that will affect me
- If you are upset/happy then tell me don't just keep it to yourself and expect it to solve itself
- Compliment me once in a while
- Don't ignore me if people are around, include me on occasion
- Communicate expectations
Stuff like that. He doesn't say anything, he keeps everything in his head and always assumes he told me or that i could read his mind or some crap.
Then i get into a situation that becomes a problem that he created, that he doesn't even bother taking ownership of and people have to clean up after his mistakes
Essentially, all he has to do is talk about what he's thinking...what he wants/expects and learn how to socialize!
Posted by IrresistableScorp
You my friend are in the mind fuck spiral with this Aqua. You will never win this. You need to put a stop to it or its over. Honestly, your "relationship" with this guy is frustrating to read.
sorry its disturbing your online experience
Well he conceded!!!
He's used to me initiating first. He's actually used to other people initiating conversations with him, he rarely does it first unless he has something specific to talk to you about. He rarely talks to people if just to talk to them.
So I was adamant to my gemini friend that him taking the first steps goes a long way and shows him that if he does the approaching good things happen!
So he conceded and he came up to me. Granted he didn't talk about the issue but I'm starting to realize he's so unevolved and inexperienced. I have to teach him things
He's used to me initiating first. He's actually used to other people initiating conversations with him, he rarely does it first unless he has something specific to talk to you about. He rarely talks to people if just to talk to them.
So I was adamant to my gemini friend that him taking the first steps goes a long way and shows him that if he does the approaching good things happen!
So he conceded and he came up to me. Granted he didn't talk about the issue but I'm starting to realize he's so unevolved and inexperienced. I have to teach him things
Reading over everything you've said about the situation, I'm guessing you guys are good friends that maybe flirt with each other on occasion. Most likely because there is an underlying attraction???
From my own experience in a situation like this I'd address the issue at the right time of course.
Above all else Aqua's value friendship 1st so if you have a solid friendship this dude should in theory always be around on some level
From my own experience in a situation like this I'd address the issue at the right time of course.
Above all else Aqua's value friendship 1st so if you have a solid friendship this dude should in theory always be around on some level
Posted by MadMarchRam
Reading over everything you've said about the situation, I'm guessing you guys are good friends that maybe flirt with each other on occasion. Most likely because there is an underlying attraction???
From my own experience in a situation like this I'd address the issue at the right time of course.
Above all else Aqua's value friendship 1st so if you have a solid friendship this dude should in theory always be around on some level
He still is after all of the emotional rants lol
Lol so concentrate on the friendship which if solid will always be and let anything else naturally progress.
What will be will be blah blah blah lol
Hope it all works out for you whatever happens
What will be will be blah blah blah lol
Hope it all works out for you whatever happens
Posted by MadMarchRam
Lol so concentrate on the friendship which if solid will always be and let anything else naturally progress.
What will be will be blah blah blah lol
Hope it all works out for you whatever happens
I hope so cause I've always felt myself with him. Which is a first so I'm going to try hard to lower expectations, understand more amd teach
Hmm not saying he's not worth it hun, but don't settle for less than you deserve or at the very least, willing to put up with.
I hope this eventually works out in your favour
I hope this eventually works out in your favour
Holy butt balls I went to sleep early cause I was drained and there's never this much activity at night but whoa nelly lots o activity here.
Let me address the three of you at the same time lol:
I'm definitely am not a the jerk Scorpio ya all just described. I care too much about human suffering to be evil. I've tried once because I was tired once of getting hurt by people and I figured if I was a b.itch I'd never get hurt emotionally again but i only lasted a day. Never felt good being evil so here I am. Sometimes because im too nice I get taken for granted.
Anyway back to this Scorpio thing. This recent incident happened last Thursday. I didn't like how he shrugged the kind gesture and I got upset and wanted space cause I could not deal with him. The overall problem is he has a history of putting me on the back burner while everyone else he caters to and if I've seen him being appreciative to others then he was capable he just chose not to be with me last week so I don't believe for one moment be doesnt get it.
Ppl here say I expect too much out of him for the stage we are at but he honestly set the standard. He could say anytime or act like anytime hey this ain't mutual here are platonic boundaries. Let's say it's platonic then he'd be capable of treating me like the rest of the world. Point is: HE DOESNT.
He's always treated me in this weird limbo. The touchie feelies, the gifts, the freaking out when he thinks something bad happening, the getting annoyed/jealous when I'm around dudes. Stuff he says about why im not making him a priority or we this or we that.
THAT IS NOT PLATONIC. That is not how he is with everyone else either.
So whatever this is. I ask for consistemcy and him not being in denial cause I'm willing to go at whatever pace or whatever this is but he has to be clear about it.
Such as if you are going to act like I'm not there when friends are around don't get territorial if I'm talking to a male friend.
But mermaid is right, it's confising right nor because in the past I've given him mixed signals or emotionally ranted at him but that's was in the far off past.
Anyway I was pretty clear with Gemini that for him to concede and reach out to me first was important because it would show to me he's evolving by his own choices because he could have chosen to let me fester til I gave in
But I'm glad he reached out first. Shows he's trying.
I don't want it to seem like I expect
Let me address the three of you at the same time lol:
I'm definitely am not a the jerk Scorpio ya all just described. I care too much about human suffering to be evil. I've tried once because I was tired once of getting hurt by people and I figured if I was a b.itch I'd never get hurt emotionally again but i only lasted a day. Never felt good being evil so here I am. Sometimes because im too nice I get taken for granted.
Anyway back to this Scorpio thing. This recent incident happened last Thursday. I didn't like how he shrugged the kind gesture and I got upset and wanted space cause I could not deal with him. The overall problem is he has a history of putting me on the back burner while everyone else he caters to and if I've seen him being appreciative to others then he was capable he just chose not to be with me last week so I don't believe for one moment be doesnt get it.
Ppl here say I expect too much out of him for the stage we are at but he honestly set the standard. He could say anytime or act like anytime hey this ain't mutual here are platonic boundaries. Let's say it's platonic then he'd be capable of treating me like the rest of the world. Point is: HE DOESNT.
He's always treated me in this weird limbo. The touchie feelies, the gifts, the freaking out when he thinks something bad happening, the getting annoyed/jealous when I'm around dudes. Stuff he says about why im not making him a priority or we this or we that.
THAT IS NOT PLATONIC. That is not how he is with everyone else either.
So whatever this is. I ask for consistemcy and him not being in denial cause I'm willing to go at whatever pace or whatever this is but he has to be clear about it.
Such as if you are going to act like I'm not there when friends are around don't get territorial if I'm talking to a male friend.
But mermaid is right, it's confising right nor because in the past I've given him mixed signals or emotionally ranted at him but that's was in the far off past.
Anyway I was pretty clear with Gemini that for him to concede and reach out to me first was important because it would show to me he's evolving by his own choices because he could have chosen to let me fester til I gave in
But I'm glad he reached out first. Shows he's trying.
I don't want it to seem like I expect
I don't want it to seem like I expect perfection cause I dont. I understand this particular Aqua is inexperienced, shy, guarded, unsure etc and I like that he's dopey dorky and awkward.
He teaches me to recognize my own bs and humble down and etc
Thanks mermaid. I think I've read this website that had all that stuff before. It does describe him mostly.
That's why I'm choosing to go at his pace at whatever this is and be direct at the right moments and at the same time do my own thing and pursue my own goals.
Whatever is meant to happen will happen so in the end we'll be a part of each other's lives or we won't.
That's why I'm choosing to go at his pace at whatever this is and be direct at the right moments and at the same time do my own thing and pursue my own goals.
Whatever is meant to happen will happen so in the end we'll be a part of each other's lives or we won't.
Posted by DirtyFrankPosted by thisiscrap2
Let me address the three of you at the same time lol:
I so wanna throw some tantrums here !!!click to expand
You aren't allowed to!
Posted by AquaMermaid
Good luck Myst
Thanks again for the direct honesty.
I lovvvvvvvvvvve being around people who call me out on my ACTUAL BS.
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