I'm in love with an Aqua and it sucks!!!!!!

I am in love and it sucks!!! I always lurk and rarely post, so sorry if I came out of left field with this. As much as Aquas say there is no mystery, there is. As simple as it seems to you all, its complex to others. As easy as it would be to say forget it and leave him alone, I couldn't live with myself if I missed out on something great by not being patient. I just want him already!!!!!

I can tell that he loves me by the things he does and the way he looks at me but he refuses to say it and I never ask him to anyways. Our relationship is undefined and now we aren't even having sex (it's been a year and a half) because he says it's too intense when we did but we still cuddle and kiss which is confusing to me but I still agree to it. My problem is as much as we understand eachother he doesn't talk much and he is so moody half the time I rarely ask questions about him. He seems to take offense about this and think that I'm not interested but really it just seems to me if he wanted to tell me something he would. I'm not the type to pry things out of someone. If it doesn't come up in natural conversation I don't bring it up.



So my question to Aqua men or females is what type of personal information would you like people to ask when they are interested in you and you are in some type of a relationship? I've met his family but he says there are things about him I don't know and I have asked him what but it's like he wants me to ask a specific question instead of just spilling the beans.

I wish I could just tie him up and keep him in my closet until I wanted to play with him! Lol

Sorry if this is written weird, I never knew how to write on boards which is why I usually lurk and try to seek info instead of ask.

you do not have sex?

that is odd. very.

Well first off, an Aqua can not have a flourishing relationship unless they are with someone that they can talk to about any & everything, even when the conversation is supposed to be uncomfortable & personal. In the beginning, he probably spilled his guts out to you, told him everything he felt you might've wanted to know. But somewhere a long the line, the communication in the relationship probably hit a snag & he just out of the blue stopped.

Is he literally waiting on you to come out & ask the questions? Yes! But it's not b/c he's being selfish & wants you to revolve your whole life around him. Aquas are open books who are waiting on the right person they can share their stories with. And even though we crave the ability to have that with someone, we aren't that desperate for ANYTHING (regardless of how good our partners are) that we'll be the only person asking all the questions. He wants you to ask some of the questions yourself, so that he doesn't feel that he's the only person with a story or an opinion or intellect in the relationship. There's no doubt about it, everyone has their little secrets & past experiences that they won't talk about until THEY are ready, regardless of how much you try to pry it out of him. But honey, Aquas need to know that they are with someone who is just as interested intellectually in them as they are in you & one of the main ways to SHOW them that you are interested in them is to simply ask as a way of proving that what they have to say really matters. Sure, you can sit all day & say you care but if you don't ask, how is he supposed to know that you really want to know.

The reason the sex might not be there anymore is b/c he is starting to emotionally detach himself from you. If an Aqua can't get that intellectual or communicative connection with their partners, they'll start to shut down in other areas (sex being one of them) & this happens b/c sex is not what keeps them attached to someone. They feel that sex is something anyone can give or receive but the ability to communicate & really say that you TRULY know AND understand your partner IS RARE.

So what might be happening is, he's stripping you of something he knows might mean alot (not everything) to you: sex, b/c he feels that you are stripping the relationship he has with you of something that means EVERYTHING to him. Sure, we know that how we feel & what we have to say can be boring sometimes & we def. understand & DON'T want anyone who constantly chases after us, even if we haven't chased after them one bit. But it seems like you're taking the whole "I won't pry it out of him" thing too far. If you want to know, just ask. If you wait around for him to tell you, you'll just be wasting your time. The very fact that he's already started stripping the relationship of things like sex & communication should already be your RED FLAG & ALARM that he's already made the decision that you either get it together or he's gonna one day be gone for good.

If it's killing you that bad to be the type of partner that can't communicate with him the way he needs you to, then leave the relationship. If you two aren't compatible in that department (which is the MOST important department to him) then it wouldn't be fair to either of you to stay & just keep talking about how things are going sour versus one of you doing something about it. If anything, ask the questions out of love for your relationship with him. Relationships are about self-sacrifice & shouldn't always be one sided. Should you always be true to yourself & keep your standards? OF COURSE. But if you being yourself isn't clicking with him when he's being his true self too, then you two need to either make a compromise or hit the road.

It may sound silly to you, but just remember that he probably REALLY feels the same way. SO what do you do when 2 people have totatlly different outlooks on something, but yet still truly feel deep down that they are right? A relationship worth having is a relationship worth saving.

Remember Aquas are mysterious & beat to a different drum than most people, which means that how they flourish in their relationships may not be the "norm" of what you're used to. One thing you should respect about your Aqua is that they always hold on to their standards & make it very clear what they want. If they notice that the person they are commited to is starting to slack off in that area, they won't pretend like their needs are being met. They'll clearly show you in their own little way (not putting as much affection or energy into the sex, or not being as communicative the way they used to be). And to an extent, that's a good thing for your case b/c you'll always know that what he prioritizes in a relationship, versus having to guess & find out later AFTER your heart gets broken.

He still wants to cuddle b/c he still loves you but he doesn't necessarily see the need in stepping up the cuddling anymore to the next level, why? B/c what he TRULY needs from you is not there. He's not punishing you by not having sex with you. Trust me, he's not b/c he wants it just as bad as you do (remember he's still just as human no matter what his zodiac is). An Aqua will never put more into the relationship to please the other person if they don't feel that their partners have that same drive to please them. If you're the type of person that will never give in or just won't put your pride down to ask the questions he's dying for you to ask, then trust me, he won't beg you no more than you'll beg him. Remember, he's just as stubborn. But honey, if you really love him & can see how your relationship is slowly starting to go downhill, the least you can do is do your part so that just in case he loses his mind, you can always say "oh well, I did my part. It's YOUR loss." Right now, he's probably at home believing that he picked the wrong person, so it should be no surpise that he's slowly starting to detach & give out less & less energy to you. And he'll continue to do that until you get his motivation to give you those things, back up again.

An Aqua feels like communication should be down pack before anything else he has to offer you is given to you. Right now, he probably feels that the communication is slacking in your relationship & he's acting just like a parent who won't give their teen their "priveleges" back until and ONLY until they see different results or changes. If he doesn't feel that he can talk to you about anything or that you are too prideful or too good to ask those certain questions, then he'll start questioning himself on if he's with the right person. And one thing to know about us is that once we begin the "questioning" process, it's hard to get us out of that phaze. And the only thing that will bring us out of that stage is if we see changes. You can love him all day & all, but that won't change the process from happening. He'll leave the one he loves (even though love means everything to him) if he doesn't feel that his needs are being met & to an extent, that's how things should be. That's the only way people get their acts together most of the time.

YOU have to make the decision as to if you can fulfil his needs but yet at the same time feel like you are not changing as a person. You should be having this talk with HIM, not us on dxp b/c he's the one that really needs to know how you truly feel. If you can't even get the communication right, he LITERALLY won't see the need to go any further with you until the basics are atleast covered. You may not see it that way, but all that matters is that the person you love DOES see it that way. So this is the part in relationships, where the partner either can't sacrifice or they do. But don't wait around too long & analyze everything b/c like I said, once the process has started, there's almost no turning back. BUT it can still be done. Whether it's done or not (on YOUR part) is up to you

I agree with LK, this guy sounds like he's misleading you and in my opinion he's behaving as if he's heavily involved with someone else and thus isn't really giving you a proper relationship, he may not be sure so he's opted to keep you on the back burner because of course he know you want him and your waiting thus he's taking full advantage, we Aquas are known to be eccentric but he seems beyond eccentric, more like taken....When I'm interested in a person I will simply divulge information as to help the other person get to know me, that comes naturally, if this guy isn't divulging information about himself then he's most likely hiding something. If I'm not attracted to a person mentally then I won't stick around for the sex, it's all about mental stimulation which creates sexual chemistry and attraction.

Beware...sounds like he's feeling friendship more than love

on second thought friendship is something Aquas are known for and many Aquas love to build friendship relationships with many many people yet at the same time we also keep people at a certain distance as to not feel completely immersed and connected and bound by that relationship and yet at the same time there is always those certain people that INSTANTLY create attraction through thought patterns and we will allow a total connection (falling deeply in love with no brakes on ie passion, sex, communication with no resistance) if the person immediately bonds with us on a mental level and can provide plenty of mental stimulation through out the relationship we will not resist being with that person yet I hate to sound egotistical but it's only a certain kind of person that gets us there, the mental connection almost feels like telepathy (weird yet?) yet if I'm feeling friendship as Aqua female I don't want to cross the lines with sex and if by chance I do I won't do it again hmmm maybe we are complex d:

If he's cerebral (a very mental person) meaning he's mostly into mental stimulation and hardly into physical that could answer the question about the sex, cerebral human beings are not interested in emotions or the use of his/her body yet he can have spurts were he's aggressively intimate/sexual and those moments are not a constant thus the cuddling.

having had a relationship with a non feeling showing aqua...i can say this...he NEVER stopped having sex. ever.

so i vote for other person onside. stopped having sex to alleviate any possible guilt.

sex is too instense to have? is that REALLY a line? i mean REALLY?

I am so glad for everyone's input. So here is a little more information.

We live in 2 different towns and use to see eachother a lot but he started pushing me away and doing the dissapearing act on me. I gave it time and went to see him again and we had a great time together, had sex and I thought things were fine again. I am a very sexual person when I am with a parner. He knows it too and always needs to control when we have it, which is fine with me as long as we are connecting in that way because he is super passionate. All the nice thins he has to say and nice touching comes out during sex, otherwise it's just playful touching. I left and came back again and we cuddled a alot but he started distancing himself again. I stayed around 2 weeks and we would kiss and hug but it never went to the next level. The day I was leaving he refused to answer the phone and didn't say good bye to me.

I was a little confused and hurt because I had just talked to him the night before and he was fine. I went home and he wouldn't accept my calls for another 2 weeks and then said that I wanted more than he could give. We have a very deep understanding of eachother. I can look at him and know what he is thinking and he can do the same with me, That is the reason why I don't think I need to know a lot of personal information. I am really laid back and never ask those type of questions so I don't even know what to ask. I told him that I am patient and will wait to see where this goes because I love him and don't mind waiting. He seemed to be fine with that. I left it at that and stopped calling him for about 4 months and he called me and left a message wondering where I was and asking if I was ok.

From there we started talking on the phone again and he said we will be friends now and I said ok. He said he doesnt want to lead me on with sex when he can't be the type of boyfriend I want.(he likes dating) He also said he would like to see me again.

We saw each other and every day he was flirting, kissing me, hugging me and we had a lot of nice conversations but it never lead to anthing else. I was laying with him at his house watching TV with him and he wouldnt kiss me then because we were laying in his bedroom together. I just get so confused by him. He called me his future wife but he doesn't want to commit now. The way he looks at me is crazy, he shows so much emotion in his eyes, I can tell he loves me but he won't say it.

He also made a comment like "so and so knows me better than you." I do know him but he contradicts himself, If I told him some of the things I knew, his habits, he would change them because he doesn't want to be figured out. He said he isn't used to talking with people openly but at the same time he wants me to ask him things and I have no clue what to ask.

I can ask him a pointless question to me that he can go on and on about and a personal one that he will have a very short answer for.

I just don't know what the right types of questions are.

I know he is not leading me on because he tells me the truth all the time and it's my own doing with continuing like this. I wish I could get over it but it's extremely hard for me to fall in love, when I do I fall very hard and when I'm out of it there is no possible way of rekindling anything because when I'm done, it's over.

I'm in no rush right now because I was in a relationship with a Gemini that drained me for 10 years and I ended it. I am dating but I really want this Aqua so I am willing to remain doing what we are doing untill I stop caring or he is ready.

Krys,

You said this last year around this time and I just read it and it is so true

"I think Aquas & Sagg. get along pretty well. I've never had any relationship experience with Sagg. but friendship-wise, they are the friend that we will ALWAYS be cool with. I think Sagg. & Aquarians just have that one type of connection that most people can visibly see but still can't seem to understand. Sagg. are funny & I think they bring out the more funny sides in us BUT sometimes it seems like Sagg. are more attached to us then we are to them & it's not like we don't admire their deep like for us, but when we don't feel ourselves at the same level emotionally the way they are with us, it starts to become a tad bit problem (and this happens with anyone of any sign). Sagg & Aquas get attached to things that are worth being attached to (in their own minds/opinions) but when you've got 2 people who like/love eachother but one person tends to have a deeper like/love MORE than the other (there's no balance in between), things get a little strange. You might find your Aqua suddenly distancing himself from you some days when things get a little too "Deep" and on other days he might be that same Aqua that you fell for (reminding you of why you liked him so much in the first place). Sagg. have alot of love you one day, hate you the next, then love you again times. It's hard for Aquas & Sagg. to be mad at eachother for too long (that's just how the relationship normally is)...Overall, I think Sagg. & Aquas bring out other sides in eachother that they didn't even know were there (The Sagg. loves this & GOES FOR IT, while the Aqua gets a little nervous & Might Stall)

I am not dramatic and will "love him one day and hate him the next", we really do get along great. I think he actually wants more drama. He tries to create situations of jealousy and it will work the first time but not the next time. I tell him he needs to look for someone more bitchy if he wants drama because I'm not it.

I think he really is trying to feel me out mentally because the attraction was instant. I showed interest, he chased and I fell 😢

I just want to help him out and get him to see that I am amazing and something that he needs 😉 lol

I think to many people talk and not enough communicate. Im an Aqua and i had the same situation with a gemini. She wouldnt ask me questions, never had anything new to add, no input (BORING!!!!!). I really liked her and really wanted to have something with her but her aloofness annoyed me. I stopped having sex with her for periods on end. If you can't stimulate my mind, then it is hard for me to want you even if i want to. I used to tell her, "You tell me you love me, you want to be with me but you have no questions? No interest to speak of. Why would you even want to be with me if you dont care about anything about me or the relationship" Whats the point of love with no connection. If she cant see the individual. Question really is, why are you afraid of questions. Keeping things nice and quiet is the wrong way to go