is it time to let go?
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by confusedgal on Monday, May 26, 2008 and has 12 replies.
hello,
i'm a capricorn & very confused and im seeking help...preferably from an aquarius.
ive known this guy since i was 6 years old, i'm 18 now. we were in the same third grade class. however, when i moved i never thought i'd see him again. he was my VERY first crush...so i was foolishly "heartbroken" but of course, being 8, i forgot all about him. i never forgot his first name though and i always remembered his bday. anyways. we remet at a fair on june 9, 2007....yes i remembered the day; scary i know. anyways we began talking more. we never officially dated, but we were close to it. anways we were just talking.... i knew he was the type to take things slow so i never rushed into it. thats why i kept silent when 3 months went by and we still weren't a couple. i went to europe and when i came back, there seemed to be a shift. but i didnt understand. when i was there, i still called him. every other day i called. we didnt talk for too long. but i felt like he was no longer interested so i ended it. after taht we didnt talk at all. in october he stared dating someone else. i was heartbroken. he's still with her. sometimes i'd text him at night. i'd call sometimes and he wouldn't pick up. but i'd text in the middle of the night sometimes. and i'd help whenever he needed it. but he still ignored my calls. anyways. his girlfrined got close to my cousin and they'd go out alot. but i would cry alot over him. alot. anyways. a friend of ours introduced me to a new guy in january. and in february we started dating. i thought it was ironic because the new guy and i made it official on the aqua-mans bday.....the one day i never forgot ever since i was 6 years old. im still with him and aqua-man is still with his gf. but the first time my bf and i broke up the guy would call. and it was like after i stopped giving so much attention to him he started to notice me. i dont know what to do. now we dont talk at all. he called me a month ago because he found out taht my bf and i broke up but the next day when we got back together, he'd ignore me. we havnt talked since. and then i texxted him today. it was a lil weird. he talekd to me but we kind of got in an argument. i dont know. sometimes he sends signals that he's interested. or that he was thinking of me. i dont know. is it time to give up? finally? i've tried sooooo hard to get over him. i've talked to other guys. i've thrown away and deleted anything from my computer and phone that has to do with him. what do i
i'm a capricorn & very confused and im seeking help...preferably from an aquarius.
ive known this guy since i was 6 years old, i'm 18 now. we were in the same third grade class. however, when i moved i never thought i'd see him again. he was my VERY first crush...so i was foolishly "heartbroken" but of course, being 8, i forgot all about him. i never forgot his first name though and i always remembered his bday. anyways. we remet at a fair on june 9, 2007....yes i remembered the day; scary i know. anyways we began talking more. we never officially dated, but we were close to it. anways we were just talking.... i knew he was the type to take things slow so i never rushed into it. thats why i kept silent when 3 months went by and we still weren't a couple. i went to europe and when i came back, there seemed to be a shift. but i didnt understand. when i was there, i still called him. every other day i called. we didnt talk for too long. but i felt like he was no longer interested so i ended it. after taht we didnt talk at all. in october he stared dating someone else. i was heartbroken. he's still with her. sometimes i'd text him at night. i'd call sometimes and he wouldn't pick up. but i'd text in the middle of the night sometimes. and i'd help whenever he needed it. but he still ignored my calls. anyways. his girlfrined got close to my cousin and they'd go out alot. but i would cry alot over him. alot. anyways. a friend of ours introduced me to a new guy in january. and in february we started dating. i thought it was ironic because the new guy and i made it official on the aqua-mans bday.....the one day i never forgot ever since i was 6 years old. im still with him and aqua-man is still with his gf. but the first time my bf and i broke up the guy would call. and it was like after i stopped giving so much attention to him he started to notice me. i dont know what to do. now we dont talk at all. he called me a month ago because he found out taht my bf and i broke up but the next day when we got back together, he'd ignore me. we havnt talked since. and then i texxted him today. it was a lil weird. he talekd to me but we kind of got in an argument. i dont know. sometimes he sends signals that he's interested. or that he was thinking of me. i dont know. is it time to give up? finally? i've tried sooooo hard to get over him. i've talked to other guys. i've thrown away and deleted anything from my computer and phone that has to do with him. what do i
he gives me different vibes. hes told me several times that he doesn't see a future with her. that he's not in love with her. but its a different story with other people. i dont know what to believe anymore. i think i'm still stuck in my past. i dont want to be, and i've tried countless times but i dont know what to do. its hard when he calls sometimes and asks for help on college and we begin to talk about other things. but after he realized or thought that me and my bf are very close he distanced himself from me and my sister. what does that mean?
oh by the way.... his girlfriend is an aquarius also. and she hates me.
oh by the way.... his girlfriend is an aquarius also. and she hates me.
We arent the type to get in between someones relationship. I believe him backing off when you get back with your boyfriend is him respecting your relationship.
If I were his gf I'd hate you too if you kept calling and texting my guy in the middle of the night. We arent possessive (well depending on certain placements) but we do understand the need for respect.
I think you need to let him go...if you find one another again later in life when your both single...then give it ago. BUT as of right now your causing yourself tons of unnecessary pain. Your young, you've got alot of life to live. There will be other guys..hopefully good ones who you'll fall for whole heartedly. As for now focus on yourself and your bf if you wish.
Neither of you are being fair to your significant others.
If I were his gf I'd hate you too if you kept calling and texting my guy in the middle of the night. We arent possessive (well depending on certain placements) but we do understand the need for respect.
I think you need to let him go...if you find one another again later in life when your both single...then give it ago. BUT as of right now your causing yourself tons of unnecessary pain. Your young, you've got alot of life to live. There will be other guys..hopefully good ones who you'll fall for whole heartedly. As for now focus on yourself and your bf if you wish.
Neither of you are being fair to your significant others.
i understand. i know it was wrong for me to text him that late....several times. but i never thought she'd find out. i guess she looked through his phone. but it wasn't like he never wrote back. sometimes he would. he loved my long hair. absolutly loved it and i grew it out this entire time. 3 weeks after my bf and i got back, i cut it short.....VERY SHORT. it was a very dramatic change for me. but i loved this new look, an the nite before aquaguy begged me not to cut it, the only reason we were on the phone was becuase my bf was out of town and he called me. that whole week, he knew my bf was on a cruise, but he'd call me every other day. anways two weeks ago...his gf went out and cut her hair too....EXACTLY LIKE MINE. its the exact same thing. i cut my hair for me. for a reason. for myself. but why did she?
there are times where he randomly calls me. out of nowhere. and we'll talk. i never bring up his gf with him....because its not needed ya know? but he somehow seems to find a way to bring my bf back. i focus on my bf because he makes me happy....but yes it is wrong for me to even have someone else in mind at the same time. i dont know. i think its just me. i seem to not be able to let go of the past completly. i dont know how. he acts very weird with me. sometimes he'll call me names he use to call me when it was just me and him. he'll call to ask for my help with college and say he needs all the help i can give him. its just random. and i always say yes...without thinking twice. i want to fully let go. completly. its just i've tried for 9 months..... and i still cant. what should i do? i doubt he'll call after today's little argument...but when he does.. i want to be able to look at his missed call or text and not feel a thing. but i have to get to that point....how do i do that? what can i do?
there are times where he randomly calls me. out of nowhere. and we'll talk. i never bring up his gf with him....because its not needed ya know? but he somehow seems to find a way to bring my bf back. i focus on my bf because he makes me happy....but yes it is wrong for me to even have someone else in mind at the same time. i dont know. i think its just me. i seem to not be able to let go of the past completly. i dont know how. he acts very weird with me. sometimes he'll call me names he use to call me when it was just me and him. he'll call to ask for my help with college and say he needs all the help i can give him. its just random. and i always say yes...without thinking twice. i want to fully let go. completly. its just i've tried for 9 months..... and i still cant. what should i do? i doubt he'll call after today's little argument...but when he does.. i want to be able to look at his missed call or text and not feel a thing. but i have to get to that point....how do i do that? what can i do?
Has he ever given you a reason as to why he is with his girlfriend and yet not with you?
These things take time. You probably wont be able to look at his phone number for a while and not feel anything until you begin to feel something greater or as great for someone else...whether it be you personally or another guy. Time passes and the feelings fade into the background. If you need to cut off all ties in order to get to the point, thats what you should do...but all this wont work until your ready to move on.
These things take time. You probably wont be able to look at his phone number for a while and not feel anything until you begin to feel something greater or as great for someone else...whether it be you personally or another guy. Time passes and the feelings fade into the background. If you need to cut off all ties in order to get to the point, thats what you should do...but all this wont work until your ready to move on.
he has told my sister, that the reason why we didnt work out was because i went to europe. however we went for 3 weeks and i called him often. everything seemed to be just fine. until i came back and even for a week after all was well. however, once school started things shifted and thats when i ended it. he told my sister that if i never went to europe, maybe we wouldve happened. and he wouldnt have been with this other girl.
he didn't ask this other girl out until she asked him what they were. i never asked, i simply let things be. i did ask him what we were and he said that he didnt know but he had never felt for anyone the way he felt for me. but after i ended it... we stopped talking so much. he randomly pops up. right when all is well, im fine, not thinking about him, and in a happy relationship...he pops up. unexpectedly. and my world flips. its almost been a year since we remet and about 9 months since we ended it. i would think this was enough time. i am ready to move on, i just wish things werent the way it is.
why does he tell me that he doesnt see a future with her? that he likes her, but doesnt love her? why does he ask for my help with his future? with his college plans? why is it one way with me and different with everyone else? And why does he always seem call me or talk to me when my bf and i arent doing too well and as soon as we do, he disappears again? why?
he didn't ask this other girl out until she asked him what they were. i never asked, i simply let things be. i did ask him what we were and he said that he didnt know but he had never felt for anyone the way he felt for me. but after i ended it... we stopped talking so much. he randomly pops up. right when all is well, im fine, not thinking about him, and in a happy relationship...he pops up. unexpectedly. and my world flips. its almost been a year since we remet and about 9 months since we ended it. i would think this was enough time. i am ready to move on, i just wish things werent the way it is.
why does he tell me that he doesnt see a future with her? that he likes her, but doesnt love her? why does he ask for my help with his future? with his college plans? why is it one way with me and different with everyone else? And why does he always seem call me or talk to me when my bf and i arent doing too well and as soon as we do, he disappears again? why?
Why hasnt he broken up with is girlfriend?
Your a backburner. Your there for when he's done with this girl or the next girl (whoever gets done with whom first). Your safe...and you like him alot so you'll always be around. He doesnt think of you as the right now...he's saving you for the future.
Your a backburner. Your there for when he's done with this girl or the next girl (whoever gets done with whom first). Your safe...and you like him alot so you'll always be around. He doesnt think of you as the right now...he's saving you for the future.
i've triied to have a complete closure. trust me. i've done everything i possibly can. i dont undersatnd why i'm not over him......
you see me and him dont go to the same school. but they do. they see each other everyday, talk everyday, yada yada. we use to see each other alot when me and him had something, but we dont see each other at all. only when we have a big group gathering. like i might see him once every 3 or 4 months. he tells me that if they broke up he'd be fine, but she wouldnt. she's VERY attached to him. he likes her, but he doesnt love her. he says that he's so use to her now that it'd be weird and hard to let go. i mean they have been together for a while and so they've grown close. they cant just completly let go in one day. but i dont know why they havnt broken up. dont get me wrong. they've broken up SEVERAL times. they fight alot. but they also have their good times....and they always get back together after they break up.
lady_m. if i'm a backburner....then i shouldnt stick around right? i mean....what do you mean by i'm safe?? i dont understand. why should i have to be saved for the future when things are good right now? or at least when i was single. Do you mean that he thinks that he can get with me whenever so i dont hold that much value?
you see me and him dont go to the same school. but they do. they see each other everyday, talk everyday, yada yada. we use to see each other alot when me and him had something, but we dont see each other at all. only when we have a big group gathering. like i might see him once every 3 or 4 months. he tells me that if they broke up he'd be fine, but she wouldnt. she's VERY attached to him. he likes her, but he doesnt love her. he says that he's so use to her now that it'd be weird and hard to let go. i mean they have been together for a while and so they've grown close. they cant just completly let go in one day. but i dont know why they havnt broken up. dont get me wrong. they've broken up SEVERAL times. they fight alot. but they also have their good times....and they always get back together after they break up.
lady_m. if i'm a backburner....then i shouldnt stick around right? i mean....what do you mean by i'm safe?? i dont understand. why should i have to be saved for the future when things are good right now? or at least when i was single. Do you mean that he thinks that he can get with me whenever so i dont hold that much value?
Yes he can get you whenever he wants, BUT YES you do hold value. Your like the girl he could marry...you save those for when your ready to get married. It sounds like he isnt committing to you because you two are long distance. Everyone knows how long distance relationships arent really relationships. So its best for him to go on about his life rather than waiting for when the time is just right all alone.
You shouldnt be sticking around period because you have a boyfriend.
You shouldnt be sticking around period because you have a boyfriend.
yes i do have a boyfriend and thats why i've been trying to let go. i think i can do it, but sometimes i doubt it.
i'll admit; he can have me whenever he wants. BUT we're not distant at all. he's only a 20 minute drive from me. he's only about a 10 minute drive from his gf. we hang around in the same areas, we go to the same mall, same movies, etc. We dont put in effort to see each other because we're both involved in relationships, but we do talk sometimes. It's just that we don't go together or in a big group. Also, a couple of weeks ago, our group had a couples dinner and he didn't come. His girlfriend didn't want to come either... although they wanted to. I think it had to do with me, but its whatever.
He's such a confusing person. One minute he's sending me one type of vibes and the next he's like "fuck off". i was always confused.
I'm sticking with my bf because he's good for me. but i havent thought ahead about me and him. if it happens it happens. but this other guy knows EXACTLY how to turn my world upside down.
i'll admit; he can have me whenever he wants. BUT we're not distant at all. he's only a 20 minute drive from me. he's only about a 10 minute drive from his gf. we hang around in the same areas, we go to the same mall, same movies, etc. We dont put in effort to see each other because we're both involved in relationships, but we do talk sometimes. It's just that we don't go together or in a big group. Also, a couple of weeks ago, our group had a couples dinner and he didn't come. His girlfriend didn't want to come either... although they wanted to. I think it had to do with me, but its whatever.
He's such a confusing person. One minute he's sending me one type of vibes and the next he's like "fuck off". i was always confused.
I'm sticking with my bf because he's good for me. but i havent thought ahead about me and him. if it happens it happens. but this other guy knows EXACTLY how to turn my world upside down.
"Think about what you would tell a friend to do in the same situation, write it down, and then read what you've written. You will give yourself the best advice."
This has actually been my saving grace in a few circumstances...I like to think what would I tell someone else if they were to approach me with this situation on DXP. I try to be a "practice what you preach" kinda gal....so far so good.
I agree with bijou. Less focus on him and more on you. Like I said before only with time will the feelings become a distant memory. If you two happen to connect again at a better point in time, by all means go for it. Go for what you want and dont take anything less than what you know you deserve.
This has actually been my saving grace in a few circumstances...I like to think what would I tell someone else if they were to approach me with this situation on DXP. I try to be a "practice what you preach" kinda gal....so far so good.
I agree with bijou. Less focus on him and more on you. Like I said before only with time will the feelings become a distant memory. If you two happen to connect again at a better point in time, by all means go for it. Go for what you want and dont take anything less than what you know you deserve.
thank you everyone =) that really helped
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