just being crass or aqua honesty/bluntness

I have an aqua male friend, we were involved in the past but are friends now. Anyways he was talking about his newest girl, and he started by calling her his gf, then he called her his f buddy........seemed quite disrespectful to me and i thought all the while wow, if he had ever referred to me in that manner i would not have appreciated it one bit. How can you term someone your gf one minute and then a f buddy the next. I'm starting to question whether i even want to continue a friendship with this person.

thanks for that reply Dreamer, i really appreciate it. It was interesting that he said that because i made a comment about how it sounded serious since he gave her a label (gf). Even more interesting is the fact that he proclaims his love for me about every 6 mos. or so. I've gotten some great feedback from a few aqua females on here via pm regarding this aqua, because i was pretty much at wits end with him.......alot of what they had to say opened my eyes up wide. I'm married, working on my marriage, as i almost made a huge mistake with this aqua. At this point i'm almost thinking it might be for the best if we dont have further contact. I think he is lacking in the emotional IQ department. I've seen this pattern before with him.

you are right Annabella i was not giving my husband 100% , but i am trying to do that now. I do still have feelings for the aqua and probably always will, hence trying to figure out if i can be strictly friends with him. I am friends with all of my ex boyfriends. Our relationship was many, many years ago, did not end well, and a few years ago we began talking again and i was able to get some closure on our situation. But we did renew our friendship. I'm not proud of the fact that i had thoughts that endangered my marriage, but i am proud i did not act on them. I guess i am naive in a sense that sometimes men and women cannot always just be friends.

yes, i agree Dreamer, the advice i asked for was when this was happening.....i've since realized the error of my ways....thank goodness.....but still contemplating whether i should even allow a friendship.

Thank you all! Sometimes it takes other points of view in order to truly see the light. I appreciate all of your opinions. And i really appreciate the fact that nobody got all judgemental on me.........love that trait in people. You got your points across without the tar and feathers😉

bahahhahahh😉

I think its unfair to be friends with your exes....new love new start refresh u dont want that old car smell wafting

I have an ex who i love but we wont be friends and when im with a new person ill never see him again and hell b cut out of my life he always said though down the road our lives will cross and it does

just wait till u break up with ur husband "then" you can pursue

Aquagirl, i don't understand what you mean.

I think its unfair to be friends with your exes....new love new start refresh u dont want that old car smell wafting

I have an ex who i love but we wont be friends and when im with a new person ill never see him again and hell b cut out of my life he always said though down the road our lives will cross and it does

just wait till u break up with ur husband "then" you can pursue


Very good advice........thank you!

1. No offense but you can't criticize him in the "honesty/morals" department, if you yourself aren't giving the same respect to your own partner. You can't call someone out on not respecting their partner if you're not even doing the same in your own relationship.

2. Relationship dynamics change all the time. I'm not making excuses for him, but perhaps him & this girl DID go from being in a relationship to merely being F buddies. Maybe their relationship wasn't working out, they didn't want to fully let eachother go, therefore decided to just be F buddies so that they can atleast have a little bit of eachother, even if it's not commitment like originally planned.

3. If he's trying to keep you around while yet having a girlfriend on the side, that signals that honesty is not his #1 priority or strong point. He's probably downplaying her to you b/c he knows that if he's truly honest about how great she is, it'd turn you off, therefore leading to you cutting him off. And if he's not ready to lose any of the benefits that come from his relations with you, it's no wonder he'll do/say what he's gotta do/say to keep you around, even if that means doing what he's ALWAYS done (NOT respecting the women in his life enough to be honest with them)

4. If he can't be honest about who she is to him, don't expect for him to be honest about how he feels about her to you. A person is either a liar or they aren't. If he doesn't have the character to be honest about his level of relations with another woman, it shouldn't be surprising that he doesn't magically become an honest person when he discusses that with you

5. Get out now. Work on your marriage. Don't let this guy who clearly isn't committed to neither of you, tear apart a marriage that you're not ready to let go of or get out of. If you're tired of him trying to have his cake & eat it too, make sure you take your own advice & make sure you're not doing the same to your own spouse

Posted by dreamer23
He probably downplayed it to you because he wants to keep that door open in case you allow him to walk back through it. Its all self serving I bet. Dont fall for it. And in my experience some Aqua men have a hard time letting go. Even if they dont really want you, they want to know you want them. Alot of men (and women) are like that.

Yeah, men and women who are like that are weak and pathetic, that they need to put down their current flame just to keep the ex flame in their life.

thank you Krysrenee..........VERY valid points, i appreciate you taking the time to make them.


You got that right Aquarius09!!