just wondering

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by funluvn on Friday, February 24, 2006 and has 4 replies.
This question is in regard to aquarius men. If in the beginning (friend stage) an aqua man shows interest in you and you also show interest in him but decide from the start mutually that you both only want to be friends but it eventually turns into a friends with benefits situation after 6 months and he decides to abruptly decides to stop seeing you and starts seeing and hanging out with another woman or two does that mean the connection you both felt in the beginning that lead to the friends w/benefits situation wasn't real? I am asking this because I am confused, that is a short version of how he and I started. After he stopped seeing me abruptly he dated one girl for about 2 weeks and dumpped her and then picked up with another one for about 2 weeks. I was deeply hurt because I didn't realize how close we had become until he moved on and was shocked by it because i didn't see it coming. But I picked myself up and started dating other guys and tryed to get on with my life (cant cry over spilled milk). It seemed like when he seem me moving on he wanted to come back. I told him we could be friends but I didn't want to have a sexual relationship anymore because when he decided to hook up with someone else again I wouldn't feel like I lost a friend like I did the first time. So we hung out as friends alot but aquas can be very persuasive when they want to be and before I knew what was happening I was back in bed with him. one weekend he was over and talking about moving in again and I told him I didn't want to talk about it anymore (we had talked about it a few times and was actually supposed to have moved in the weekend after he hooked up with that girl but said things got weird between us and back out) so I told him yes rents the same and I didn't care one way or the other becuase he wasn't serious and it was a waste of my time to talk about it. about an hour later he said he had errands to do left for a couple hours, when he returned he had everything he owned and said he was moving in ???? wtf. But him being this way is alot of the reason i like him so much he does what he wants. anyway, him moving in was shocking but we laid ground rules it was only supposed to be for a few months and for the first 6 months he kept giving a month he would move when it came he'd change it to another month. Right before thanksgiving he sat me down and I honestly thought this was it and he was moving but instead he tells me he has "really deep feelings for me" and that staying with me has been the happiest he's been in a really long time and that he doesn't want to move out but he doesn't want to hold me back wtf. i asked him what he meant and his reply was he was planning on returning to school to finish his bachelors degree and said it would take up all of his time and said it wouldn't be fair to me. I told him I can take care of myself and I have a life of my own, if he wants to move say it but if he really cares and wants to be with me I would be fine while he's in school and we have the rest of our lives it's only a few years. I found out he hasn't been with anyone but me since he moved in (I really didn't know and didn't want to know to be honest we was just friends and it would have hurt me to know so i never asked) which was relieving to know but it also brought up many questions in my mind as to why. but the conversation ended without knowing one way or the other if he was staying or going. about a week later he was fixing something in the house and was talking about us buying a house and things in the future like years in the future and I asked his does this mean your my boyfriend and he jokingly said well if you insist wtf. I do really like this guy alot but I am also haunted by how easy it was for him to move on in the very beginning. since he's moved in we have gotten really close. it all seems too good to be true, and because i didn't see it coming in the beginning, even though we was only friends it still hur
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In my humble opinion....
Aquas do what they want to do. He moved in because he wanted to be with you. Leave it at that.
Get involved in other activities so he sees that you keep yourself occupied with things other than him. It will do you good as well and give you plenty of things to talk about. Seems to me that these men need stand-alone women. Ones that don't need to be reassured about the status of the relationship...Yes, you need to be a little psychic at times. Don't over-analyze his every word, facial expression, scratch, etc. It's a trap that you will fall in to, seems like you may have fallen in to it already and it's not a fun place to be..Been there, done that. I guess I should take my own advice!
Anyway, relax a little. The situation is better than you think it is.
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Thanks that helps alot. I truly gave up analyzing him a long time ago, its really impossible to do with an aqua anyway, you see what they want to show you on their terms not yours. But I approach things cautiously because I know how bad it hurts trying to go through aqua rehab I don't think they make a 12 step program that strong. I take things as they come we get along great and the way we are now is night and day compared to the way it was in the beginning but because of the way it started it puts doubts in my mind more so about myself than him. I think I have brain damage when it comes to him but we have so much fun and it's not all about sex we have alot of fun outside of the bedroom, but I miss the bedroom fun too. aquas are so sexy.
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when it comes to displaying emotions some of us aquas can be very ermm well cant think of a word.. but we dpnt like displaying them too much. .well i dont and i know a few others who are the same.. it usually makes things hard on the other person as they dont know whats going on..
Im gonna try and change this year hehe smile
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