Lying Aqua
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by TowardAscension on Tuesday, April 22, 2008 and has 26 replies.
Okay, this is what it is.
I was in a live-in relationship with an Aquarius guy for two years. I am a scorpio guy. We actually moved to another city together.
Anyways, after about a year or so, he met a girl that he really liked. He told me so, and I was pretty goddamn upset. He said he couldn't see himself being with a man in the long run (So what was our relationship thus far? A 60 day free trial?).
I tried to understand. I really did. I gave him alot of space and freedom. But things came to an end when he started staying out all day every day and lying about the littlest things. I think this was to avoid pissing me off (Scorpio rage is no joke). lol
For instance, I was missing a pair of sneaker and repeatedly asked him about the missing sneakers, to which he denied knowing anything. This went on for days on end with me getting angrier because I KNEW he had them. He eventually admitted leaving them at the girl's house. To me, that's being cruel, he caused me to question my own judgement. There were many other instances of these little lies.
Anyways, before we stopped living together, there would be phone calls to my phone from a guy looking for my "friend", the guy clearly sounded gay. I asked him about it and he, of course, denied it. Of course he would, would he tell his new girl about his relationship with me?
Lying about sneakers is one thing. But possible screwing three different people?Why would an aqua tell serious lies like this??? To get what they want and to hell with everyone else who might be hurt by these actions? To spread the love around to the little boys and girls, literally? Or, I'm wondering, does he lie to me specifically because he knows I WILL ACT A DAMN FOOL on him?
Oh Beautiful, Intelligent Aquarians, please give opinions on your brethren....LOL
I was in a live-in relationship with an Aquarius guy for two years. I am a scorpio guy. We actually moved to another city together.
Anyways, after about a year or so, he met a girl that he really liked. He told me so, and I was pretty goddamn upset. He said he couldn't see himself being with a man in the long run (So what was our relationship thus far? A 60 day free trial?).
I tried to understand. I really did. I gave him alot of space and freedom. But things came to an end when he started staying out all day every day and lying about the littlest things. I think this was to avoid pissing me off (Scorpio rage is no joke). lol
For instance, I was missing a pair of sneaker and repeatedly asked him about the missing sneakers, to which he denied knowing anything. This went on for days on end with me getting angrier because I KNEW he had them. He eventually admitted leaving them at the girl's house. To me, that's being cruel, he caused me to question my own judgement. There were many other instances of these little lies.
Anyways, before we stopped living together, there would be phone calls to my phone from a guy looking for my "friend", the guy clearly sounded gay. I asked him about it and he, of course, denied it. Of course he would, would he tell his new girl about his relationship with me?
Lying about sneakers is one thing. But possible screwing three different people?Why would an aqua tell serious lies like this??? To get what they want and to hell with everyone else who might be hurt by these actions? To spread the love around to the little boys and girls, literally? Or, I'm wondering, does he lie to me specifically because he knows I WILL ACT A DAMN FOOL on him?
Oh Beautiful, Intelligent Aquarians, please give opinions on your brethren....LOL
Oh lawd, this is a doozy, I honestly don't think it's an Aqua thing, it's more like a character issue.
Yeah, this is definetely not an Aqua thing...This type of thing happens just in GENERAL regardless of your Zodiac. I'm assuming you ALREADY know how I'm going to respond to what's going on. It's okay to love somebody with all your heart, but love YOU MORE! If you suspect he's cheating, then leave him alone for good. What is the point in staying with someone who will bring out the WORST in you. And since it hasn't even been that long, that makes things even worse. Some people NEVER had the right intentions on doing right by you & unfortunately, the reason so many people repeat their cheating streaks is because they prey upon the people that will not fully stand up for themselves or have the COURAGE to leave. No matter how much you thought the relationship was good, no matter how much you "Love" him, no matter how you ended up moving to the same city together, all of that doesn't matter when someone cheats on you because it's a direct violation of trust, communication & dignity (All things not even WORTH trying to regain when it was NEVER THERE in the first place). If he wants to cheat, let him do it but don't be the dummy to stick around & let the heartbreak continue to intensify. And from an Aquas standpoint, when Aquas are loyal, we're extremely loyal; there is no person that can change our love for someone. But when an Aqua NEVER was loyal towards a particular person, that's something that will never change. I know that Scorpios are very passionate about what they want BUT it's 2008! Come on people! Start DEMANDING respect, instead of asking for it. The best treatment & revenge you can get on him is to walk away & let him have his 3 other flings waiting for him when he gets home, but make sure you're not the sap who's at home wanting to argue & interrogate about things your OWN instinct & common sense already figured out! I know how you feel. I hate when others question my intelligence.
If you feel he's a liar, then look at this in terms of the long-run. Usually when someone starts out lying (regardless of the size of the lie), it's something that's IN them (maybe not forever, but atleast with that particular person they are committed to). Of course he's going to lie about the little things. Cheating is a form of LYING. People cheat because they don't want to get caught. That's why YOUR shoes were at HER house & not your own like they were supposed to be. Ok, so let's say your man admits to you ALLLL you wanted to know. Then what? You'll always have a chip on your shoulder & because you're a Scorpio, we BOTH know the relationship would NEVER work even if he did come clean & stop messing around on you. I think you KNOW what you need to do. It'd be one thing if you guys had spent 25 years together, had kids & shared more than just feelings & a house together. But it seems like this is strickly a relationship that got good REALLY fast & has the potential to fall down REALLY fast. You just need to leave the situation, I don't know HOW you are going to do that, but you know deep down that out of the 8.6 billion people on this earth, HE is NOT the only one you deserve. When you're at home in tears or heartbroken, where is he? Do you think he's sitting by a window crying? No, he's out laughing. When you're on a website going crazy & asking for advice, do you think he's at the girl's house doing the same thing? No, he's probably going crazy OVER HER. And he told you that he would probably end up with a woman...if you weren't okay with that you shouldn't have waited until THIS day to come. By him telling you that, you already knew you guys weren't going to last for as long as you probably would've wanted to. He's probably still in those stages where he's okay with his sexuality but not sure about where he wants to take it & being in that state of confusion is never good when someone else (you) has to deal with. Good luck! I hope everything works out sweety 
Thanks. I needed to read that. You said all the things I've felt, but haven't been able to put into words. It still hurts too much to actually face the fact that he was using me and I allowed it.
And actually, I put him out in June, 2007. We had absolutely no contact until November 07, when he appeared at my doorstep wanting to "talk." I was pretty much over our relationship and was moving on. But seeing him brought all those feelings back.
The reason he's been on my brain lately is that last Saturday, he showed up WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND AND THEIR NEW BABY at my door. I told them their kid was cute and he took her out of her mother's arms and damn near forced me to hold her. WTF?
And once again I feel horrible about our relationship, horrible about being vulnerable with him (no one else has ever had me like this), and strangely enough, I feel horrible about the way he is playing her by bringing her and their baby to his ex-lovers house and she doesn't even know. The audacity of that.
Still, I do know that NO CONTACT whatsoever is the best way to deal with this clown. But the scorpio in me wants to tell the girlfriend who her boyfriend REALLY is.
And actually, I put him out in June, 2007. We had absolutely no contact until November 07, when he appeared at my doorstep wanting to "talk." I was pretty much over our relationship and was moving on. But seeing him brought all those feelings back.
The reason he's been on my brain lately is that last Saturday, he showed up WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND AND THEIR NEW BABY at my door. I told them their kid was cute and he took her out of her mother's arms and damn near forced me to hold her. WTF?
And once again I feel horrible about our relationship, horrible about being vulnerable with him (no one else has ever had me like this), and strangely enough, I feel horrible about the way he is playing her by bringing her and their baby to his ex-lovers house and she doesn't even know. The audacity of that.
Still, I do know that NO CONTACT whatsoever is the best way to deal with this clown. But the scorpio in me wants to tell the girlfriend who her boyfriend REALLY is.
Well, if you're going to tell HER, make sure you understand the consequences. On one hand, I can understand why you wouldn't give a flying F about how he'll feel betrayed if she finds out the truth from you. Hell, he betrayed you & what makes this whole situation worse is that he's flaunted the both of you around eachother with such arrogance & such power as if already knowing your vulnerabilty would STOP you from speaking up. If you could careless about what friendship there is left, then go for it (it it'll make you feel better by getting it off your chest). BUT, the bad side to things is, you've been quiet about telling her for sooo long to the point that if you really felt it in your heart to tell her for all the right reasons, you would've told her a lonnng time ago, thus he's going to take you "snitching" on him as a direct HIT of REVENGE & you'll lose his respect forever. BUT, like I said, on the other hand, the fact that you didn't sock this guy in his face when he showed up at your doorstep (after all he's done to hurt you with no guilt or remorse) shows that there is still some emotional dependency on this guy, thus you possibly ruining his & her relationship only making things in YOUR life harder. I think you might be okay with him not being in your life relationship-wise, but as far as friendship wise, if you're still being light-weight nice to him because you haven't completely let go, then telling his girlfriend won't really help ease the hurt in your heart. One, she may not believe you (and she's without a doubt going to wonder why you didn't tell her earlier, thus believing that you're just "hating" because you still WANT him). And two, he might completely cut you off for good (typical of an Aqua who feels they've been betrayed) & if you have never gone too long without atleast having a decent conversation with him, you'll be in for a big surprise once you tell. Sure, I think you should've said something a longgg time ago (after all, wouldn't you have been glad if someone had the balls to tell YOU if they knew the whole time he was playing you). But if you're going to tell her, tell her because you don't want another person falling for his BULL because in a way, she symbolizes you, just in the form of a woman.
yeah well i'm a scorpio woman and i very recently stopped dating an aquarius guy....and towardascension, i think it is an aquarius thing. he was so sweet and would tell me things that no other man told me before and it seemed like he was sincere. he always wanted me around, told all his friends about me, wanted me to meet all of his family..and then one day i was looking through my phone and saw that all he does is send these tramps on myspace messsages about how he wants to do this and that with them, asking them where they live and just trying to hook up with them....i kicked that fool to the curb so fast his head is still spinning....how dare he? and its not like he had a reason to do that, i was always ready and willing to do whatever in the bedroom, if anything he was the one that tried to ration sex out to me...so if anyone should have been looking elsewhere it should have been me...anyway they like to play a lot of head games and they like to test you a lot...who has time for it...cut that sucker off and find someone that will treat you a whole hell of a lot better.
that guy is straight up scum...
and i know exactly what you mean, i would want to tell her...and i say, why not tell her, i would..she needs to know that he is not the man that she thinks he is.
oh we know you would.
"and i know exactly what you mean, i would want to tell her...and i say, why not tell her, i would..she needs to know that he is not the man that she thinks he is."
I wouldn't blaim you ONE BIT if you DID tell her. But also, keep in mind. This woman might ALREADY KNOW that her man isn't all up to par just like you did with your suspicions when the two of you were together. This guy might be cheating on her with other people (that you have no idea about) & she could just be living in the state of denial. Who knows, YOU might be the one that wakes her up & brings her back to reality OR you might be the one she deams as the enemy, thus his lies to her getting alot better & their relationship getting even stronger. HOW YOU TELL that other person is what makes the difference. If you come off as just in this for revenge or don't have all the facts (dates he cheated, times he cheated & all the info she'll HAVE to believe that one one else should know about) then things might work out in HIS favor. Alot of times when people cheat & that outsider comes into the relationship trying to "expose" the cheater, the cheater finds a way to make things work out in his benefit. I hope everything works out though. I guess that's why they say KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE, But YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER (because you never know, the person that you thought was the most irrelevant in life might be the person that holds the key to whether or not you're in love today & heartbroken tomorrow)
I wouldn't blaim you ONE BIT if you DID tell her. But also, keep in mind. This woman might ALREADY KNOW that her man isn't all up to par just like you did with your suspicions when the two of you were together. This guy might be cheating on her with other people (that you have no idea about) & she could just be living in the state of denial. Who knows, YOU might be the one that wakes her up & brings her back to reality OR you might be the one she deams as the enemy, thus his lies to her getting alot better & their relationship getting even stronger. HOW YOU TELL that other person is what makes the difference. If you come off as just in this for revenge or don't have all the facts (dates he cheated, times he cheated & all the info she'll HAVE to believe that one one else should know about) then things might work out in HIS favor. Alot of times when people cheat & that outsider comes into the relationship trying to "expose" the cheater, the cheater finds a way to make things work out in his benefit. I hope everything works out though. I guess that's why they say KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE, But YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER (because you never know, the person that you thought was the most irrelevant in life might be the person that holds the key to whether or not you're in love today & heartbroken tomorrow)
And also know that once Aquas are in that "cheating streak" phase, only THEY can bring themselves out of it. He might really care for this girl, but in reality, let's just say that you actually do tell her & she confronts him, breaks up with him & never speaks to him again. This guy will just go out & find another victim & continue to play the same games he played with the both of you & the cycle will continue. Sometimes the best revenge is to know that eventually KARMA will set in (even if you're not the one who gets to see the show in front row seats). When you see him, just laugh, but don't say much. Just look at her & feel bad for her (because she's NOW in the same shoes that you were in THEN) & hope that one day she'll wake up & hopefully might be the one that turns him from his scandalous ways
TA, it really sounds to me like he enjoys teasing you, and not in the fun/funny way. forget about this dude.
Aquarius people try to come off all sweet and innocent but they definately are not...
"Aquarius people try to come off all sweet and innocent but they definately are not..."
I don't know who made up THAT rumor. If anything, Aquarians walk around with the "IF you can handle me, then so be it" sticker stamped on our forheads. When we make decisions (either actions of just simply thoughts) or form opinions, we are fixed & justify to ourselves the reason we needed to make THAT particular decision. Even when we hear the negative things about us, we don't whine & claim them to be completely untrue. Oh the average Aqua KNOWS what they're doing & why they're doing it & when you find an evil Aqua, they don't try to sugar-coat who they are (because it all goes back to the contentment we have in our own decisions)
I don't know who made up THAT rumor. If anything, Aquarians walk around with the "IF you can handle me, then so be it" sticker stamped on our forheads. When we make decisions (either actions of just simply thoughts) or form opinions, we are fixed & justify to ourselves the reason we needed to make THAT particular decision. Even when we hear the negative things about us, we don't whine & claim them to be completely untrue. Oh the average Aqua KNOWS what they're doing & why they're doing it & when you find an evil Aqua, they don't try to sugar-coat who they are (because it all goes back to the contentment we have in our own decisions)
"Oh the average Aqua KNOWS what they're doing & why they're doing it & when you find an evil Aqua, they don't try to sugar-coat who they are (because it all goes back to the contentment we have in our own decisions)"
I concur.
I concur.
I don't expect other aquarius people to own up to my last statement..but i've known quite a few and they have mean streaks, they like to play lots of head games and they love to test people..
Are you upset that you didnt play your game first or they out played you?
"I don't expect other aquarius people to own up to my last statement..but i've known quite a few and they have mean streaks, they like to play lots of head games and they love to test people.."
Oh, no doubt. Aquarians can play the mind games all day & we aren't the ones who think people CAN'T see through us. We take the chance of letting others see what we're doing by even playing the mind games in the first place. But still, playing mind games & testing others is alot different than pretending to be innocent & sweet. I've never met an Aqua who acted like they were holier than thou, but when we need to defend ourselves (just like most others) we will & alot of people hate to see us have that "BRING IT ON" attitude when they are the ones lacking it.
Oh, no doubt. Aquarians can play the mind games all day & we aren't the ones who think people CAN'T see through us. We take the chance of letting others see what we're doing by even playing the mind games in the first place. But still, playing mind games & testing others is alot different than pretending to be innocent & sweet. I've never met an Aqua who acted like they were holier than thou, but when we need to defend ourselves (just like most others) we will & alot of people hate to see us have that "BRING IT ON" attitude when they are the ones lacking it.
Lady M you can knock it off...I feel that this is yet another attack and i don't have time for it...Let's just stick to the topic at hand...
Oh God.
Krysrenee......thanks. I've decided that I won't tell her. Even though I feel sorry for her, I really have no obligations to her nor do I wish to interfere in their relationship. To be honest, if I did tell her at this time, it would be out of pure vengeance, not concern. More than I want to pay him back, I don't want to be that kind of person.
Wheelhomies, Exotic......you know, I would sometimes think he was playing games with me. I brushed it off because I did not WANT to believe someone could be soooooooo deliberately cruel and evil. It hurts me to my SOUL to know that he would treat me like that. However, the writing was on the wall, and I CHOSE to be blinded by love. Next time, I'll go into a relationship with my head AND heart.
BOTH his parents abandoned him around 9 years old so love might not be his easiest emotion......Imma let it slide. Also, I was no angel either. My controlling and jealous bullshit had to be alot for him to deal with. No pass for his behavior, but more of an understanding.
Thanks ladies.
Krysrenee......thanks. I've decided that I won't tell her. Even though I feel sorry for her, I really have no obligations to her nor do I wish to interfere in their relationship. To be honest, if I did tell her at this time, it would be out of pure vengeance, not concern. More than I want to pay him back, I don't want to be that kind of person.
Wheelhomies, Exotic......you know, I would sometimes think he was playing games with me. I brushed it off because I did not WANT to believe someone could be soooooooo deliberately cruel and evil. It hurts me to my SOUL to know that he would treat me like that. However, the writing was on the wall, and I CHOSE to be blinded by love. Next time, I'll go into a relationship with my head AND heart.
BOTH his parents abandoned him around 9 years old so love might not be his easiest emotion......Imma let it slide. Also, I was no angel either. My controlling and jealous bullshit had to be alot for him to deal with. No pass for his behavior, but more of an understanding.
Thanks ladies.
"Oh the average Aqua KNOWS what they're doing & why they're doing it & when you find an evil Aqua, they don't try to sugar-coat who they are (because it all goes back to the contentment we have in our own decisions)"
"I concur."
Lady M............... what is the rationale when thinking like this? Do you care who you hurt? Or have you become soooo self-centered and selfish that it really doesn't matter? Is there any thought that goes into purposely dishing out this pain? How is there contentment in this kind of behavior?
"I concur."
Lady M............... what is the rationale when thinking like this? Do you care who you hurt? Or have you become soooo self-centered and selfish that it really doesn't matter? Is there any thought that goes into purposely dishing out this pain? How is there contentment in this kind of behavior?
It depends on the situation. i dont deliberately hurt others so Im not sure what type of answer you're looking for. Although I am fully aware of every act I commit, although I may not take into consideration your feelings on the matter, I know exactly what I am doing and why I am doing it. You may perceive it as selfish rationalization, but everyone has their reasoning.
He just didnt care in your case, and yes he was being selfish. Yes, aquas can be self-centered.
He just didnt care in your case, and yes he was being selfish. Yes, aquas can be self-centered.
Exoticscorpion: I have no reason to attack you. i only speak the truth.
"Oh God.
Krysrenee......thanks. I've decided that I won't tell her. Even though I feel sorry for her, I really have no obligations to her nor do I wish to interfere in their relationship. To be honest, if I did tell her at this time, it would be out of pure vengeance, not concern. More than I want to pay him back, I don't want to be that kind of person. "
JACKPOT! See, all I wanted you to realize deep down is the REAL reason she might find out: Either through vengence or concern. It doesn't matter whether or not you told her, but if you had decided to actually tell her, it's very important that you know exactly WHY you're telling her because in the end, it'll better prepare you for what drama or things that might come from the situation. I'm proud of you for not stooping down to the level you know you are NOT, even when you've been hurt the most. That shows character. Trust me, this woman will eventually see the truth just like you did. I've never heard of a case where the woman NEVER found out her man was cheating. We've heard about women finding out as much as 50 years later but the point is, At Some point in time SHE DOES find out. And like I said, by the way this guy is being so flamboyant in his ways, I think a part of her already knows!
Krysrenee......thanks. I've decided that I won't tell her. Even though I feel sorry for her, I really have no obligations to her nor do I wish to interfere in their relationship. To be honest, if I did tell her at this time, it would be out of pure vengeance, not concern. More than I want to pay him back, I don't want to be that kind of person. "
JACKPOT! See, all I wanted you to realize deep down is the REAL reason she might find out: Either through vengence or concern. It doesn't matter whether or not you told her, but if you had decided to actually tell her, it's very important that you know exactly WHY you're telling her because in the end, it'll better prepare you for what drama or things that might come from the situation. I'm proud of you for not stooping down to the level you know you are NOT, even when you've been hurt the most. That shows character. Trust me, this woman will eventually see the truth just like you did. I've never heard of a case where the woman NEVER found out her man was cheating. We've heard about women finding out as much as 50 years later but the point is, At Some point in time SHE DOES find out. And like I said, by the way this guy is being so flamboyant in his ways, I think a part of her already knows!
"BOTH his parents abandoned him around 9 years old so love might not be his easiest emotion......Imma let it slide. Also, I was no angel either. My controlling and jealous bullbutter had to be alot for him to deal with. No pass for his behavior, but more of an understanding.
Thanks ladies."
And you know what, it's good that you do take responsibility for what you contributed (problem-wise) to the relationship BUT don't ever make the mistake of believing that flaws in your personality (in HIs eyes) were the reason he decided to get up one morning & betray you. Betrayal is something that is embedded in people (it may only come out while they're with certain people & not with others) but it is IN them. This guy not really having a set of parents from such a young age definetely might be a factor in how he's turned out. You know what, I know the NEW YEAR has already passed, but I say let's make a NEW RESOLUTION just for the sake of it: Let's stop giving power to those who don't deserve it. When someone makes you begin to cry, stop those tears because you know deep down that they are somewhere laughing! It's all power. When someone betrays you, try your hardest to put the pain away, but don't ever let them see your hurt because it's all power! And THEIR power! Hell, let's not even talk about those who have hurt us, personally I don't think they're even worth being spoke OR written about....Well, no, I'm an Aqua...Nevermind, I take that back...Aquas will eventually have to say SOMETHING LoL
Thanks ladies."
And you know what, it's good that you do take responsibility for what you contributed (problem-wise) to the relationship BUT don't ever make the mistake of believing that flaws in your personality (in HIs eyes) were the reason he decided to get up one morning & betray you. Betrayal is something that is embedded in people (it may only come out while they're with certain people & not with others) but it is IN them. This guy not really having a set of parents from such a young age definetely might be a factor in how he's turned out. You know what, I know the NEW YEAR has already passed, but I say let's make a NEW RESOLUTION just for the sake of it: Let's stop giving power to those who don't deserve it. When someone makes you begin to cry, stop those tears because you know deep down that they are somewhere laughing! It's all power. When someone betrays you, try your hardest to put the pain away, but don't ever let them see your hurt because it's all power! And THEIR power! Hell, let's not even talk about those who have hurt us, personally I don't think they're even worth being spoke OR written about....Well, no, I'm an Aqua...Nevermind, I take that back...Aquas will eventually have to say SOMETHING LoL
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