Men's Power Over Women
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by MellowDee on Friday, March 16, 2007 and has 14 replies.
I was browzing through a magazine and came across an article about a certain middle of the road celeb singer who had a very high profile break up with his wife a few years ago which appeared to land her in much more of an emotional predicament than it did him.
I considered the picture of this man with his glamorous and fresh and sweet as punch new lady on his arm and I thought he really isn't all that in terms of looks of charisma or talent. His ex-wife on the other hand has much more of a vibrant personality, is very pretty, and is a nice and charming person, albeit a person who has obviously a number of emotional issues.
Yet in the aftermath of their marriage break-up, the man in this relationship seemed smug, holier than thou, was portraying a long suffering spouse who had had to endure the terrible hardships of being with his wife which he didn't hesitate to disclose to the glossy magazine. The woman didn't fare so well. In the years since the end of her marriage she plunged herself into a string of self destructive behaviours and relationships, selling her own story to the papers, saying how she still loved this man and how she was coming to terms with the fact that it was over.
A point that I think is significant is that it was revealed that this same man also had sex with a dance on his stag night before his marriage to this woman.
So I am thinking what was in this man that sparked such calamity in his former wife? In efect what was the nature of the power that he had over her.
And I think of my own failed relationships with men. And could there be a similar dynamic that is at play in these. If I look at the cancer man who I dated most recently, firstly he is fairly skinny as I was not immediately attracted to him when I was dancing with him in the nightclub and he came up to me and then persued me after this. It was the next time that I met him that I became physically attracted to him and now when I think of him or look at him I get turned on. Why is this? Could this about-turn in my attitude and attraction to him be linked to the moment I perceived him as being someone who was not ultimately going to be good for me? I think this is more or less the basis of my attraction to him. But it doesn't lesson the intensity of the attraction.
I considered the picture of this man with his glamorous and fresh and sweet as punch new lady on his arm and I thought he really isn't all that in terms of looks of charisma or talent. His ex-wife on the other hand has much more of a vibrant personality, is very pretty, and is a nice and charming person, albeit a person who has obviously a number of emotional issues.
Yet in the aftermath of their marriage break-up, the man in this relationship seemed smug, holier than thou, was portraying a long suffering spouse who had had to endure the terrible hardships of being with his wife which he didn't hesitate to disclose to the glossy magazine. The woman didn't fare so well. In the years since the end of her marriage she plunged herself into a string of self destructive behaviours and relationships, selling her own story to the papers, saying how she still loved this man and how she was coming to terms with the fact that it was over.
A point that I think is significant is that it was revealed that this same man also had sex with a dance on his stag night before his marriage to this woman.
So I am thinking what was in this man that sparked such calamity in his former wife? In efect what was the nature of the power that he had over her.
And I think of my own failed relationships with men. And could there be a similar dynamic that is at play in these. If I look at the cancer man who I dated most recently, firstly he is fairly skinny as I was not immediately attracted to him when I was dancing with him in the nightclub and he came up to me and then persued me after this. It was the next time that I met him that I became physically attracted to him and now when I think of him or look at him I get turned on. Why is this? Could this about-turn in my attitude and attraction to him be linked to the moment I perceived him as being someone who was not ultimately going to be good for me? I think this is more or less the basis of my attraction to him. But it doesn't lesson the intensity of the attraction.
So it leads to the point of the topic title; that I think that women still fall harder than men in relationships that haven't worked out and are more likely to be the ones asking why it happened and what they should have done. Why should this be the case when women have the same individual freedoms and right as men?
MD .. as much as men like to think that women are emotionally manipulating, I truly believe that men are just as much so .. they feel just as deeply as women .. and they know that if they play with a woman's feelings, it will leave her to do all the work, take all the falls ..
.. it doesn't HAVE to be that way .. but, men have us believing that
.. don't think for one second that they don't realize that they do this
leokitten quote, "you are taught then that if youa re good, all will work out. chances are good, these same women are taught that pleasing a man, doing things for him, are they way to "keep a man.""
And men aren't fools, they fully comprehend this as well .. use it, play us .. then have the audacity to say that we emotionally manipulate ..
MD, don't let that happen .. you are strong and vibrant and deserve respect for your integrity .. let the man take some of the responsibility.
Just my outlook .. take with a grain of salt if it seems out of line
.. it doesn't HAVE to be that way .. but, men have us believing that
.. don't think for one second that they don't realize that they do this
leokitten quote, "you are taught then that if youa re good, all will work out. chances are good, these same women are taught that pleasing a man, doing things for him, are they way to "keep a man.""
And men aren't fools, they fully comprehend this as well .. use it, play us .. then have the audacity to say that we emotionally manipulate ..
MD, don't let that happen .. you are strong and vibrant and deserve respect for your integrity .. let the man take some of the responsibility.
Just my outlook .. take with a grain of salt if it seems out of line
Yeah I think that does make sense...I'm just fed up of feeling like this.
Ok then let's turn this around a make it a more upbeat type of thread like Aguaaqi's Starting Gate....how do you "snap out of it" when you're hanker after a man who's not going to love you the way you want him to but will stirng you along...........ahhh that sound so familiar.
poo
Ok then let's turn this around a make it a more upbeat type of thread like Aguaaqi's Starting Gate....how do you "snap out of it" when you're hanker after a man who's not going to love you the way you want him to but will stirng you along...........ahhh that sound so familiar.
poo
"this is the woman who was taught to bow to men, to sacrifice her own worth for a man. the man did not make her that way. he took advantage of her weakness."
he took advantage of her weakness."
he took advantage of her weakness."
he took advantage of her weakness."
he took advantage of her weakness."
That leokitten is emotional manipulation. And so the pattern will continue .. STILL men are allowed to be pardoned, while the woman takes the brunt.
He will charm
He will seduce
He will also watch you crumble once he has to smitten .. and walk away, knowing full well that because you are a woman, you WILL feel for him. He knows it .. he knew it the moment you gazed into his eyes with adoration .. still .. he'll string you along until he's done or bored.
Bullshit .. not in this lifetime !!!!!!!
he took advantage of her weakness."
he took advantage of her weakness."
he took advantage of her weakness."
he took advantage of her weakness."
That leokitten is emotional manipulation. And so the pattern will continue .. STILL men are allowed to be pardoned, while the woman takes the brunt.
He will charm
He will seduce
He will also watch you crumble once he has to smitten .. and walk away, knowing full well that because you are a woman, you WILL feel for him. He knows it .. he knew it the moment you gazed into his eyes with adoration .. still .. he'll string you along until he's done or bored.
Bullshit .. not in this lifetime !!!!!!!
MD .. how to fix it?
Take charge .. don't let the pattern continue .. if he isn't showing you the same treatment .. walk away and never look back .. when he then comes to you, which in most cases he will because now you appear like a challenge for his attention, turn your nose up and walk away .. next time, he'll think twice before he tries to play with a woman's feelings.
Take charge .. don't let the pattern continue .. if he isn't showing you the same treatment .. walk away and never look back .. when he then comes to you, which in most cases he will because now you appear like a challenge for his attention, turn your nose up and walk away .. next time, he'll think twice before he tries to play with a woman's feelings.
"Could this about-turn in my attitude and attraction to him be linked to the moment I perceived him as being someone who was not ultimately going to be good for me?"
MD, I've been thinking about this for a while .. and I think you have hit on it with this above sentence. Perhaps, we all should pay closer attention to our gut instincts when we meet a new person .. our intuition plays a bigger role in our psyche than most of us even realize .. once our other senses kick in, we find reasons why we might like that person, or have a good time with the person, maybe even fall in love one day. Seems that we spend most of the courting time trying to convince ourselves why we should be with another .. when, if we had listened to that little voice of reason whispering in our other ear .. we wouldn't find ourselves doing this.
Think about it .. how often do we as humans do this? If you have to convince yourself otherwise of what your gut told you .. you're only kidding yourself, right? Until you posted this, I hadn't even stopped to ponder this .. but, I've done it over and over and over again .. I'm sure we all have.
We don't want to be unattracted to someone .. we don't like it when there is something in us, telling us that something, or someone isn't good, we don't want to hear that we can't or shouldn't have something .. so, naturally, our defiant side will kick in and turn us around ... now, we are attracted to that person .. only, it's a lie we've told ourselves .. we already knew he was wrong, didn't we?
Now, when we're left to try and figure out why it didn't work out .. what we're really upset about is not the man and his lack of attention at all, rather, our own disappointment in ourselves because we knew better and did it anyway.
MD, I've been thinking about this for a while .. and I think you have hit on it with this above sentence. Perhaps, we all should pay closer attention to our gut instincts when we meet a new person .. our intuition plays a bigger role in our psyche than most of us even realize .. once our other senses kick in, we find reasons why we might like that person, or have a good time with the person, maybe even fall in love one day. Seems that we spend most of the courting time trying to convince ourselves why we should be with another .. when, if we had listened to that little voice of reason whispering in our other ear .. we wouldn't find ourselves doing this.
Think about it .. how often do we as humans do this? If you have to convince yourself otherwise of what your gut told you .. you're only kidding yourself, right? Until you posted this, I hadn't even stopped to ponder this .. but, I've done it over and over and over again .. I'm sure we all have.
We don't want to be unattracted to someone .. we don't like it when there is something in us, telling us that something, or someone isn't good, we don't want to hear that we can't or shouldn't have something .. so, naturally, our defiant side will kick in and turn us around ... now, we are attracted to that person .. only, it's a lie we've told ourselves .. we already knew he was wrong, didn't we?
Now, when we're left to try and figure out why it didn't work out .. what we're really upset about is not the man and his lack of attention at all, rather, our own disappointment in ourselves because we knew better and did it anyway.
That's the thing: I don't know if I trust my intuition. Or perhaps I am not sure what it sounds like so I don't heed it when it speaks to me.
Anyway what I'm saying is that might my intuition that he was simply a player have been what sparked my attraction him? Because before that second date when I realised that I thought he was sexy, I had just been humouring him because I thought he was being so nice that I didn't feel right about being rude to him.
What P-Angel says about him persuing me once I leave him alone....yeah I guess that's the kind of stupid pattern of behaviour he's into.
I called him and did the "no-no" that Aguaaqi advised against and sent him lots of unpleasant texts saying what I thought of him and then I called him up like a fool last week to re-iterate what I'd texted. He said I was all wrong about him, that he did respect him all along and that he just couldn't have a relationship with me due to his own personal circumstances. I brought up all the lies he he told me and he apologised but said that they were not intentional or something to that effect. I asked him why did he pick me to do this to and he said that he now was changing his mind about me and that I am a "silly girl" and that he was wrong about me but did say that there was something between us before. He then texted me to say he likes me very very much even though I am very mean to him.
Talk about screwed up behaviour. I think it was Solitas who said that it could be that I care about how he made me feel and the idea of him rather than him the person and I think she is right. I strongly resent him and at the same time I strongly want him to be in bed with me and hold me and say all those nice things he said before. I feel like he was a con man and I was taken in by him totally and I want him to scream at him how dare he take advantage of my friendliness and feelings.
But yeah I should just walk away and not look back which is what I do but then when I get so far, I start to think about him and wonder whether he was in fact right and I was wrong.
I need to get over him and find another consuming passion to occupy my obbessive thoughts like housework or something!
Anyway what I'm saying is that might my intuition that he was simply a player have been what sparked my attraction him? Because before that second date when I realised that I thought he was sexy, I had just been humouring him because I thought he was being so nice that I didn't feel right about being rude to him.
What P-Angel says about him persuing me once I leave him alone....yeah I guess that's the kind of stupid pattern of behaviour he's into.
I called him and did the "no-no" that Aguaaqi advised against and sent him lots of unpleasant texts saying what I thought of him and then I called him up like a fool last week to re-iterate what I'd texted. He said I was all wrong about him, that he did respect him all along and that he just couldn't have a relationship with me due to his own personal circumstances. I brought up all the lies he he told me and he apologised but said that they were not intentional or something to that effect. I asked him why did he pick me to do this to and he said that he now was changing his mind about me and that I am a "silly girl" and that he was wrong about me but did say that there was something between us before. He then texted me to say he likes me very very much even though I am very mean to him.
Talk about screwed up behaviour. I think it was Solitas who said that it could be that I care about how he made me feel and the idea of him rather than him the person and I think she is right. I strongly resent him and at the same time I strongly want him to be in bed with me and hold me and say all those nice things he said before. I feel like he was a con man and I was taken in by him totally and I want him to scream at him how dare he take advantage of my friendliness and feelings.
But yeah I should just walk away and not look back which is what I do but then when I get so far, I start to think about him and wonder whether he was in fact right and I was wrong.
I need to get over him and find another consuming passion to occupy my obbessive thoughts like housework or something!
" start to think about him and wonder whether he was in fact right and I was wrong."
Trust your instincts, MD, your intuition is there for a reason .. it tells us stuff that we need to know .. if your gut tells you this man is wrong, then he is.
People ask of themselves: "Do I listen to my heart, or my head"
Niether .. listen to your instincts .. the messages come from your unconsciousness and they are always right.
Cheer Up .. you're not a silly girl. Mr. Right is out there .. he'll appreciate you for the woman you are inside.
Trust your instincts, MD, your intuition is there for a reason .. it tells us stuff that we need to know .. if your gut tells you this man is wrong, then he is.
People ask of themselves: "Do I listen to my heart, or my head"
Niether .. listen to your instincts .. the messages come from your unconsciousness and they are always right.
Cheer Up .. you're not a silly girl. Mr. Right is out there .. he'll appreciate you for the woman you are inside.
Thanks for putting in those words
aguaaqi... I do that very same thing.. imagine something really bad about the guy I am breaking up with or talk to myself about all his bad attributes and focus completely on them.. I also list all the things I did in the relationship and all that he did not do, convincing myself that I am better than him, and can do better.. it all works in the aquarian head.. I have found. but what is funny is my leo friend is going through a tough time with her "friend" and I am suggesting these types of things for her to do to get over him, because it works for me, but she can not do it. She can only think of the good in him..which I think is crazy.. but then she is not me, so I have to accept her way of thinking too. It's just weird.
i know a fair number of guys whose ass i could kick. not every guy is 6 foot and built....there are a lot of puny ones out there.
LOL!
LOL!
"I love women and respect them , because no matter how powerful men are from the weakest to strongest we all are here because of a woman ."
Yes, Eve, that bitch that got us thrown out of heaven.:/
Yes, Eve, that bitch that got us thrown out of heaven.:/
Eve made the whole Story of Creation way more interesting. She added that bit of spice that had been missing before. As all fans of soap opera know, you hafta have intrigue to keep the viewers tuned in. Eve was the first PR marketting agent for the Bible.
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