Please Help with my Aquarius guy

Sorry for the long post. I have been with my Aquarius guy for 2 and half years, we are both 41. We have beeen living together for over a year and half. A month ago he left, this is the 2nd time and I fear he is not coming back. We have had an awesome relationship, he leaves me love notes all over the house in my lunch etc... shows me that he loves me which i know is not typical behavior for them. The first time he left, he just woke up one day and said this was not what he wanted and with no further explaination moved out. I did not cry or beg him and left him alone and never contacted him. He came back after 6 weeks, said he felt he was not the man i needed and he needed to let me go to move on. Said I was the the only person he truly loved and put in a special place in his heart. No one could replace me and he would never try to. Fast forwrd to present....A girl that subs on his pool league starts going after him, texting him and calling him all the time, I had no knowledge of this BTW....He is going along with it. She wants to sleep with him and he told her no, not while I was in the picture and she has meet me several times and was well aware I was in the picture. So one day i get a message sent to me on facebook, was a fake account telling me I might want to take notice of this situation. I checked our phone records and sure enough 20-30 text back and forth calling each other 5/6 times a day everyday for about a month. I asked him what is going on, said they are just friends..Said our phone records imply more then that. He got really angry, said he loved me but I crossed the line. That I was insecure etc...all the stuff guys say when they know they have done wrong. Told him if this was so innocent then he would have not hid it from me. He left and I truly love this man. I know he did not cheat on me physically, but he did emotionally....He still has not totally moved out, keeps comming up with excuses as to why he has not gotten his stuff out, But telling me he is not delaying it. Dont' know what to think and can you guys please help out with what he is thinking here? Will he ever return?

Posted by libragurl
Sorry for the long post. I have been with my Aquarius guy for 2 and half years, we are both 41. We have beeen living together for over a year and half. A month ago he left, this is the 2nd time and I fear he is not coming back. We have had an awesome relationship, he leaves me love notes all over the house in my lunch etc... shows me that he loves me which i know is not typical behavior for them. The first time he left, he just woke up one day and said this was not what he wanted and with no further explaination moved out. I did not cry or beg him and left him alone and never contacted him. He came back after 6 weeks, said he felt he was not the man i needed and he needed to let me go to move on. Said I was the the only person he truly loved and put in a special place in his heart. No one could replace me and he would never try to. Fast forwrd to present....A girl that subs on his pool league starts going after him, texting him and calling him all the time, I had no knowledge of this BTW....He is going along with it. She wants to sleep with him and he told her no, not while I was in the picture and she has meet me several times and was well aware I was in the picture. So one day i get a message sent to me on facebook, was a fake account telling me I might want to take notice of this situation. I checked our phone records and sure enough 20-30 text back and forth calling each other 5/6 times a day everyday for about a month. I asked him what is going on, said they are just friends..Said our phone records imply more then that. He got really angry, said he loved me but I crossed the line. That I was insecure etc...all the stuff guys say when they know they have done wrong. Told him if this was so innocent then he would have not hid it from me. He left and I truly love this man. I know he did not cheat on me physically, but he did emotionally....He still has not totally moved out, keeps comming up with excuses as to why he has not gotten his stuff out, But telling me he is not delaying it. Dont' know what to think and can you guys please help out with what he is thinking here? Will he ever return?

Pffffff if he ain't coming at you 100% he's not into you. Only a player. Some of these men no matter the sign are GOOD at word play. ACTIONS mean more. If he's going to present you with a wedding ring, then there you go.

^ I'm inclined to agree with Lisabeth!

He sounds like the type of aqua who thinks he's being caring when in reality rather selfish. Running away when he think he doesn't deserve you? Sure I can understand that mindset but personally I think it's cowardice. Saying things like crossing the line is so lame when no boundary has been established, it's more like "Hey I have an imaginary line, I won't tell you what it is but just don't cross it".

Selfish behaviour.

If you have priority in my life then I will let you know about what I'm feeling or doing. Not because of insecurities but out of mutual respect. I'm familiar with keeping things inside but I've also learnt that's a one way ticket to fucking things up.

So he has been playing me for 2 1/2 years building a life with me?

Posted by libragurl
So he has been playing me for 2 1/2 years building a life with me?

Yup, and it ain't just Aquas that do this. I've seen plenty of "men" pull this stuff.

Hmmmm....another angle, okay?

Did the phone records show whether he called her or she called him?
Maybe she was calling him. Maybe she was texting him. He may not have contacted her and only responded when she contacted him. He just didn't want to be rude to her. Maybe in his eyes, they were only friends until she kept after him. You say he was faithful and kept telling her no.

Then you get a message on Facebook. She wants him. SHE probably sent that to you KNOWING if you confronted him (which any woman would do), he would be upset and it would cause a big fight between you, possibly break you guys up and then she could have him.

Is he seeing her now?

Just a thought to ponder....

She was calling him and texting him more then he was her. I guess I'm really confused here. I know you are all saying he was playing me, but I'm not stupid. He showed me everyday that he loved me. He never know that I was aware each morning before he left for work at 4:30 am that he would come up and kiss me on the forehead and wisper in my ear I love you baby.If ever mentioned that i wanted something done to the house or i didnt like something in passing. He would change it. I said once i wanted some bushes removed from the front of the house and a flower bed put in..I went to work and came home and it was done. A 17 foot long flower bed... We did everything together. He never went out with out me. He does not go to the bars..nothing. He was my best freind we talked about everything. Always had a great time together. All his family and friends never heard him tell anyone that he loved them till me and he did it openly. They all have said they have never seen his so happy. They were all upset when he left the first time and all of them call me wanting to know what happened. All of them told me when he left the first time, he never went out, no one could get him out of the house. The pople he worked with said they could not stand to work with him cause he was so mean and he is a very happy person. He showed me that he loved me and even when this was going on with her, nothing changed. His behavior, our sex life...nothing changed. When I would show up to pool and she was there he would kiss me..hold my hand and be very playful with me in front of her.

^^^^^ That is why I said what I did. You may be victim to this little tramps tricks and games. If you overreacted and confronted as if you didn't trust him, I can see that he was hurt and didn't feel trusted.

Curious to how it went down when you asked him and how he responded. I guess that would tell you mostly what you want to know.

Did you accuse without asking? Like what is going on here—
or
Did you mention you got a message on facebook (I would have started with that). Honey, the weirdest message came on my fb and I don't know who its from and am wondering what their motivation is...

I think he loves you. Perhaps you could initiate a conversation with him. Hopefully, this can be repaired. Aquas are very sensitive when it comes to trust and accusations (whether they admit it or not!!!). Once they love, they love deeply.

Well personally I didn't think it was playing you. You raised some concerns about his state of mind during the relationship and he simply dismissed your feelings and told you it was too much for him. It's a one track mindset. Unless there's more to the story behind this then to me if feels like a very selfish thing to do.

I'm a believer in working things out but to me it sounded plain and simple "I'm done" and I think you're just caught up with the affection he has shown you in the past. Those are my views in regards to love and being in a relationship.

I can however relate to his actions because I have done that to certain friends or acquaintances before. If they cross whatever imaginary line I don't feel the need to justify my actions I just pack up and leave. It's the mindset that if it's meant to be then there needn't be this drama, if I feel they can't be a close friend then I'll cut the ties myself. But just know this is entirely different as to how I feel when in love. Others Aquas may apply this to love itself *shrugs*

Could be caught up in old feelings. Why I'm curious to how it all went down.

I told him I got a message and that I don't want to believe it...asked him if there was anything going on between him and this girl. He said no. I asked if there was a problem between us that I needed to know about? He said no baby, everything is great with us. Asked then y someone sent me this message and why they have been talking and texting everyday? Said they were just friends. Asked why he never said anything to me about it. Thats when he blow his top and said I was not his mother, told him no i'm not but i am his girlfriend and the person he lives with and I deserve respect. He said I crossed the line and said it was over. He moved out the next day.

And let me say this...He is the first man i truly loved. He broke down every wall i had up and taught me how to love for the first time in my life. I never felt so much like myself then I did with him. I am moving on with my life and not waiting for him to get over being mad, cause that is really what he is..mad. I love and miss him, but miss our friendship more then anything! I will move on this I know but I just can not see him where he is not in my future...

Nothing I read led me to think that he was a player. Just two young air signs dealing with love and relationships. He left once because he wasnt happy and perhaps used the latest issue to leave again. I dont doubt that you two loved each other. Use the experience, both good and bad, in next love of your life.

My Aqua Ex did something really similar as far as leaving 75% of his stuff at our apartment after he moved out.
Whether or not he is a player doesn't seem to be the main issue. He doesn't seem to want to stay with you long-term. Now, you could wait it out i.e. waste time or you could start moving on with your life. Get his stuff out of your place. The longer it stays there the more you will be connected to the past.
If he truly loved you in a mature grown up way, he would leave you completely and not do the back and forth thing.

Imagine your life with someone whom loves and respects you enough to be there 100% . Not just when it suits him.