Relationship advice for libra women and aqua man.. (Page 2)

I care about him a lot. I can even wait on him...I just get insecure thinking that maybe he has no true feelings and Im just a friend friend- then when we are with each other it is so great and we really enjoy each other that I say- ok Im right he is into me..then he walks away and spazes...Even if you have tons of confidence which I dont..that starts to make you think your fooling yourself. I love him stopping by .. but my friend said his lack of asking ahead means Im nothing to him. I didnt see it that way but again Im worried Im not seeing things because I care about him. So if I knew he really had feelings I can be cool with a very free relationship...its just right now Im trying to figure out what hes thinking without asking him. I have to tell you when he said hes too comfortable I didnt get upset... it was so odd..then his spaze out after the holidays was even odder- I keep thinking what is it that makes him get so uptight..I havent asked him for a single thing..hes had total freedom. In my mind that should make him calm... relaxed. And hes so into saying Im such a great friend to him.. lol So yeah Im overthinking.. because we could have a great time if he would just enjoy. I would like to have a commit but not because i ask for one- not because its been long enough -not because relationships need to be moving at a certain rate.. but because Im hooked on him. But I dont require a lot of maintence I like my space too - but hey at this point who knows.. I just keep it at the pace he can handle.

hi Starfish! Im not getting much work done today.. Im too into what everyone is saying...I would take everyone out for drinks but thats tuff to do!!

tiki.. your right. I hopefully will find the moment in a month or so to ask him what we are doing...I was hoping we would just fall into things you know just let them happen-talk is so odd.. and often what you say comes out wrong- but your right I need to address at least what we are...I wonder though as guarded as he is and as high as his wall is- would he even be able to say what hes feeling- I think thats why I never bothered- i figured he would walk - hes good at that.. an expert.

are you dating an aqua now?

Hey Starfish! Thanks for the recommendation lol!! I try to give sound help not saying I'm always successful lol but since I'm an Aqua, I think I can touch on this topic a bit.

Jolana sorry to say but nothing just falls into place with us Aqua's, I'm dating a Leo and I need information to gauge my decisions, not saying that Mr.Leo gives up the information easily but I'm always asking questions b/c again I'm an analytical thinker so I need feedback or I'm lost.

Maybe your Aqua needs you to open up a bit, if you can, try to get into a neutral, comfortable setting and discuss it over dinner or drinks, as someone stated before you might just want to give him a heads up a few days before the actual meeting and let him know you have something you want to discuss with him, this will give him time to prepare himself for the discussion.

You can do it girl, you just have to be a little bit more aggressive with him, your kind of taking the passive role which I'm not knocking but you won't get any answers by being this way. As much time as he spends over your place, you deserve an answer inregards to the relationship.

I don't believe in that waiting for him to decide crap, you will be walking with a walker before he says were a couple lol!! j/k! But you will be waiting a very long time and even then you might not know.

I don't spaz out as much b/c I took all those years to strengthen my emotional health but I waver from time to time, I'm definitely a doubting Thomas also, not sure if your aqua is that way but we aren't that sure of our emotions and that could part of the problem with your Aqua, his thoughts and his feelings conflict, this is a thorn in my side b/c I could think one way and feel another and I will ignore my feelings and base my decisions on my thoughts.

You have to nudge your Aqua into exploring his feelings, you can do this by not accusing him or putting down ultimatums but just simply you understanding how his behavior affects you be it he's making you confused or making you feel uncomfortable with the present situation by his actions and letting him know this.

For example you can say, I love when you stop by, I love your energy and how you make me smile and the warmth you bring to the room but I'm confused at the same time b/c a part of me wants to think we are moving into the direction of a relationship and I don't want to misread your actions, can you help me understand what were doing?

You have to let him know that he's sending mixed signals, he might not know that he's doing this but if you don't point it out he won't have the opportunity to change it.

You have to know if he see's you as JUST A FRIEND or he see's you as more than that, I think if you approach him in the way I suggested (you modify it with what your comfortable with) he will have time to process it, and remember you can give him the option to not answer right away, give him time to sit with it and he will eventually let you know.

Yes he might take flight but atleast you will know the answer either way, if he just sees you as a friend and disappears then you know he wasn't in it for the long haul and you can prepare yourself for new love....can't have a guy sitting around taking up all your time.

my mom call guys that never say what there intentions are....time busters...they are busting up your time until something else comes along...me personally I'm too dayum old for that, so I'm always trying to know what the deal is asap.

six months ago he said he liked me liked hanging and how should we do this... I suggested knowing hes a bit uneasy about relationships that we date each other and just let each other know if we wanted to see someone else.. he was ok with that. Then he spazed out- sent a letter- then called -I discussed it with him- we were very calm.. and we broke up. Three weeks later and yes we had been communicating he came over.. had a nice evening- nothing big. The next week he came by for a different reason and we ended up involved. We havent had a discussion about it- but hes calling more, hes been over most weeks not as a set date but just for this or for that..but we are still you know involved. That is what Im coming off of- so Ive been hesitant in knowing how to do with him..he keeps saying I deserve so much more.. he knows already i care.

love that name... timebusters.

youve been a lot of help.. thanks --- really....just my luck back in the dating world and I hit an independent aqua!! lol -- I never can do anything simple.

ok.. well let me have a month and I will post you a note and tell you what happens. Meanwhile Happy Easter to all of you- If you have any more aqua advice I will keep an eye out- if not again thanks really for being so helpful..

hey girls!

how is everyone doing in here? long time, no talk...
hope everyone is doing well.

its going fine.. I got a lot of good support. any last words he called last nite.. not sure with the holiday and his son whether hes coming by or not. Im tempted to just not answer the phone and the other part of me says I should text the guy and just act normal.. this has been the only guy that I would even think about that with...any one else i would text and say i got the info for the software and see if he calls - with this one I tend to just wait and let him lead... so odd... happy easter bythe way

OH MY GAWD...

I have been training my pisces too, really...I let him know up front...this is it...can you deal with all of this!?! (I didnt say it, but my actions have)

mine had his other child called today to tell me- so I would usually let that ride and just see when he calls but I said hey ... just wondering if you think we could figure out when to hang.. I said maybe during the week. So we decided of course I dont know what day yet but to hang this week its been almost three weeks-and I knew when this started that it was a run.. he had all the signs but this time he talked to me the whole time so we are better. I think when he comes over Im going to start by telling him I really hadnt dated anyone but him in years- and I need his advice. That I would like to explore the friend side of our relationship and to do that I need to do things with him that i do with my friends.. like go to the store.. or run errandswith him.. just hang more....that the lover part is incredible but I had such a bad marriage where I did everything solo that I think it would be fun to have this type of friend/lover... that starts a conversation without being demanding right.. its not demanding to want to hang and do peddle stuff right?

we started out with a blind meeting- a diner. He realized I believe at that point that I wasnt a hit and run- he told me not to stay on the site but also said we werent right for each other..lol THen we started emailing that lasted over two months almost daily. We decided to get together yes at that point we got into things to fast it was after talking and emails though- and the attraction was there. again after a couple weeks he pulled back..but then we started again..Tell you the truth we talk about lots of things-his family issues, my ex, and now Im involved with his work -helping him with a fair amount of stuff. We talk every other day at least. a few months ago he wanted to make it just friends between us because he said if it didnt work out and his relationships end badly that he didnt want to loose me as a friend. I read all the time about couples who go out and even if the women shouldnt they get involved on a first date. I know its probably wrong to do.. but we didnt do that. We do have an issue about doing normal stuff.. we dont.. But part of that is because we are both so independent and we are both out all the time - his job is 70 percent traveling- when he does come over we like to just hang...maybe that will help you decide at what level this is at. He calls me when hes upset.. and hes at ease...I dont think its just booty call ... we need to grow but thats what IM trying to figure out-

oh and before january .. he had said on the phone to a friend that he was dating me..lol so he did say it- its since the mess in january that Im unsure where things are..and it was so tense in january he was so running that I have been nervous about clarifying it till now. hope this makes sense..I know its stupid.

one thought. you said people bond more with sex... thats my issue I noticed that if we have alot of chemistry.. it almost seems when we have a really great moment that way and there are some- that he pulls back not with calls or email but with physical..one of his total pull backs happened after an incredible evening. now at the beginning he would go silent.. now he still talks about the work etc...but pulls away for 2-3 weeks. Not every time you know.. but he does this...every couple of months..so odd too thats why I havent tried to push him and I let him cycle through and walk so lightly..and the girl side of me keeps having to check to see if Im being an idiot. I mean if theres nothing there and I am wrong then I need to walk- but everytime I stop and wait..

when we have a really great moment that way and there are some- that he pulls back not with calls or email but with physical..one of his total pull backs happened after an incredible evening. now at the beginning he would go silent.. now he still talks about the work etc...but pulls away for 2-3 weeks-------

what Im saying badly is he doesnt pull away with communicating- he calls me- in fact hes lately called a lot- we text too. but he pulls away sexually for 2 weeks. My mom said its because of his age..i hear what you guys are saying- and yes we should go out- truth is we cook together at the house he grills I do side dishes.. its odd i know.. I have to wonder when people date and say go to a movie- they just watch the movie when we hang at the house we do stuff with his business. watch a dvd collection we like and cook.. truthfully we spend more time talking and being close than you do at a movie.. this isnt all his fault- I like being at home with him too- I am getting edgy about it since everyone says I need to make him go out..I have decided I must be wrong and its not healthy for us to spend time at the house. I agree that after a year he should be moving forward- I think thats why he got panicked at new years because he knows I deserve a better relationship. He told me the friend line but when i said do you really want to keep it at that.. he said no.. but like you said I have rose colored glasses on.. happy easter by the way..

He really is avoiding that your making me see which is a good thing.. thing is Im helping him with his new company- and we have a lot going on- I cant just not talk to him thats odd.. Ive not voiced a lot of complaints so far so i cant just turn into dr. hyde... When he broke up with me .. I handled it calmly he couldnt get over the fact I didnt call him names and blow up-- when I said I couldnt be like that for him.. that I saw no point in being a biotch. I said you know not every girl is a biotch.. and he said thats not true-most are... so you see this guy has a lot of stuff going on. I may be nuts but I got involved and now I keep thinking we are getting him into liking women again! lol
It sounds worse than it is.. I dont feel used- I feel we are both at fault for the pace of things - I should have gotten out when I wasnt in love with him. Now its tuff because even if its just sketchy and hes not a good boyfriend hes a friend.. I mean his whole life is work and his kids.. I know about that.. Im not sure he is keep

keeping me out of his life.. but hes so guarded.I said we needed to go out to this place I want to go to- his comment was we will we will theres no rush..lol So you know I give up.. you said I sound like Im intelligent.. you know what I am professionally and i suck at this! lol

its funny they say everything happens for a reason- with him I think it was so he finally stopped being so angry. If I could explain to you how much he used to complain about his ex and be so upset-I know I helped this if nothing else.. he still thinks shes bad but he blows it off- he is trying to be more positive. He has told me verbally and in an email how much he respects me and how important our friendship is. I have wanted to get to be more like a couple you know running to home depot-him here all weekend long.. that part just seems something he avoids. I asked him hes always been a loner type and the type that assumes all relationships all of his relationships end badly so he didnt want to have that happen with us. that I had in writting too... so you see all the signs appear to give me this I care about you but I dont trust relationships and the only way we can make this work is if we are friends. That whole thing just made me totally fall for him. I guess its hard because everyone says stuff that makes sense..so yes I should walk. Hes over 50 and been a single guy for ten years.. whats the chance hes changing - not much but then again I never tried to change him..I havent been..but my friends and this site point out some valid points- I do have one sortof stupid question.. If hes not caring about me- why keep coming back- hes hot- good looking man- no problem getting women and hes latin..He says I have a good heart that I am one of the nicest people he has ever met. That I am extemely smart. Well lets see, friendship, intelligent, kind, and whether anyone admits it sex being great is a plus.. i mean if you ever kiss someone who is horrible at kissing you just cant ignore that! lol- so sex wont make a relationship happen no--but its important to click there--chemisty or attraction is what makes you go out with a person to begin with-it doesnt make the relationship happen and no its not what makes you fall in love but again it is human nature to find some people attractive and not others.. so its part of the relationship...so here we are..Im trying to see how to handle an aqua commit phob and move things along at a pace he can handle. AM i stupid and he doesnt care for me at all.. maybe.. you guys would know in a way im new to dating and this is the first aqua I have ever dated and your right the glasses are on.. my heart makes decisions when it should be my brain!

listen.. this post has helped me alot Im still confused and Im still 15 years old but Im working it out in my brain- all of your opinions are really incredible they are helping me sort it out - KNow one thing im not trying to whin- im not a victim- Im trying to learn how to date again and if Ive made mistakes here.. Im hoping to find out with your help how NOT to make them next time... My friends no little about this- I dont like to open up- this post really helps me be honest.. you guys are independent women- and I am professionally- and with other peoples issues.. WIth my own I have been so bad!!!!

yeah.. I hear you leo.. Well i guess hes benefiting from me having no sex in my marriage!! lol man thats like the classic hot to trot divorcee!! Im so pathetic!! you know~!!~

your right.. But you know I hate being alone.. I was alone in my marriage for 10 years.. I dont need a man.. but honestly I do want one.. but I think I have noticed one thing- Im looking for the opposite of what I had. SO maybe its the type Im picking that is difficult for me- I mean I want a strong, self confident man..but that allows for a more confident me.. so you know what your very right...

but I do love the jerk.. which complicates the heck out of it! have you ever been married before- and how is your aqua.. I feel bad just talking about me.. Im bored with myself!

aquas..

sorry it cut me off.. I was putting maybe I should try another sign before I try another aqua!

my dad was a leo.. its a strong sign...my mom is a libra also like me..they had a great life together but my mom did have to bend more than him. my limited view of aquas just based on the one I have now says they dont do anything they dont want to- so it must be a wild ride when you a leo and him an aqua are at odds...passionate and loving Im sure but who wins usually?

It keeps saying that libra's are good matches for aquarius because we both like space and get each others needs being air signs. I dont even have one close friend whos an aqua so this has been a first and a learning experience! I was married to a cancer.. is this the first aqua relationship that you have had? How with the aquas being so into the mental side and not the emotional side did he fall in love.. How does that happen if they can separate everything..

I think your better off being a leo= anything but a libra.. we are totally into love and emotions.. Leos are strong- and if you broke up once before and your ok if it happens now your a lot stronger than me. I love to deep.. its not healthy. Wonder if you can stop doing that..you know caring to the point that it hurts to say goodbye. I sense with you that you are prepared either way.. Though he wont Im sure let that happen.

not comparing your relationship to mine...but have you noticed that when you do connect with an aqua the intensity of the physical side is nuts. Even on the libra posts those that finally are involved with an aqua talk about the chemistry. Maybe its because when they finally let themselfs go and feel you get the rush... of the emotions they surpress. When mine spazed out the one time he sent me a text said I want to see you but I dont know if we can keep it at just friends..lol - I laughed because its the only person I know that worries about us being too attracted to each other. most people would find that a bonus!

I think I dont define myself.. Im just tired of the games and I want to stop saying good bye. Even though goodbyes will always happen-but you know what I mean. My life has been good- I have had some rotten stuff happen but all in all IM healthy have a great daughter and never been poor poor.. so I have no real complaints..

the one thing I can tell you if nothing else is this man enjoys the chemistry part.. but you know he also seems afraid of it like I know when we were going for about 5 months seeing each other every every weekend.. thats when he said he was getting too comfortable that he was too old to do this- he said he didnt like feeling this way. And the odd thing about that was he told me the day before that when I kiss him it makes him have chills..ok so lets break up- you have to know its tuff to figure..(he says he stopped dating all together for a very long time before me- truth is he may end up just being a dear friend.. hes so used to being alone that maybe thats the way his life works best. I will eventually sort it out- I like seeing him on the couch and when I look at him I feel him...sounds stupid I know. your aqua and you sound great together... your lucky you are no longer having to play the dating games..

When you are a kid you have this circle above you - your parents grandparents maybe even great grandparents but then as you get older and older the circle starts to go away.. you realize that in the whole scheme of things the one person you can depend on is yourself... I have tried no matter how mean verbally that my ex was to be a happy go lucky positive thinker.. Im still managing to do that...but if you love this man and he loves you its worth every compromise to make it work...I realized that I never loved my husband.. oddly enough even though he doesnt deserve it and Its probably a dead end relationship I actually for the first time since my "first love" in college have actually fallen in love. Even if it doesnt work it was a shock to find out what I didnt feel for the one I married.... so if this aqua makes your toes curl then dont let him go. i know what its like to settle..

hello unusual.. how was your easter... Im not in the mood to be at work.

All my friends live in different cities so yeah I text, I don't like talking alot unless I'm super comfortable with the person and for the record I don't like the whole text thing, I had a dinosaur cell phone, you know the ones you can change the the front face on it lol.

I was introduced to texting this year! Stubborn Aqua I know I know...I don't text alot but sometimes I just don't want to talk, so I text but I get agitated if I have to do full out conversations, I like to keep it light.

Texting is a preference for me, I talk but sometimes I'm so emotionally drained I would rather it be informal than formal...don't cuss me out for being a silly eccentric aquarius lol!!

How ya'll doing??

Whassup Jolana?

tiki... your an aqua maybe you can tell me.. if you were hanging with a 50 year old aqua and he had legit reasons first business travel then his son...and you had not physically seen him in 2 weeks and 5 days.. but you have kept in ouch phone wise..do you think hes able to go that long without you know..what..- I suggested we try and catch up during the week this week and he said it sounded good- but if a guy really likes you how can he go just once a week and a lot of the time every 2 weeks- is it because of his age.. or am I just imagining that men need you know ... what ---- more often than that. I think most of the guys you all are dating are much much younger but still... - kind of a silly question I guess- I thought he was doing a pull back but he still calls almost every day or texts..when he doesnt call.. I guess just off the record i wonder what the aqua older aqua sex drive is usually like since you all put that separate and less important..

unusual.. I didnt know you still dealt with a yo yo effect...thats scary that means they do this forever!! how long does he yo...and what sets it off.. is there a pattern.

Well my mom is a Leo and she dated an Aquarius and they stayed in the bedroom, I think he was late 40's early 50's, he seemed to loooove sex but yet again my mom loves sex so that might had alot to do with it.

I think it could be his age which plays a part in it but I also feel like if your satisfying his needs then he probably sees no need to sleep around with anyone else. Thats a toss up question b/c I personally haven't dated a man past 35 years of age, so i don't know how much help I can be on this one.

What I can say is that I have a powerful sex drive IF stimulated by the right man I am stuck on him and I stick with that person until its over, I see no need to stray/sleep around nor do I desire to do so, you may just be giving it to your Aqua right girlfriend lol!!

As much as I detest the phone, if he's calling and texting you on a daily then he's really digging you and he is enjoying the relationship, relax, sounds like that talk your going to have in a month will turn out in your favor.

Im sorry your mother is a libra... Im oct. 16th... lol what does that make me really nonconfrontational right! - I talked to him we are trying to hang this week- I am just asking because Im trying to organize in my mind all the facts so I dont spurt out something I will regret... so of course we arent sure what day- but I want to do this in person..

i just meant your dealing with me on here.. and then you already know how libras can be.. I must make you crazy on this board.. I dont mean to. ANd no I hate confrontation.. I would rather wait out things and let them settle...lol but Im getting better. I also have this issue where i try to see both sides.. so this is not a good thing. Im independent and yet desire a strong self confident man.. whos able to keep up with my humor.. outside of this dxpnet.. Im quite witty! and I use humor to get my point acrossed. SO yes its a mess. A libra and an aqua.. interesting I love his mystery but need more confidence that he likes me..

tiki.. thanks for the support. we have great times in the bedroom.. no complaints just seems like he can wait a lot longer to get there than I want to. lol - what was the best relationship you ever had.. I mean to what horoscope sign was the person? I hear gemini's and other air signs are good for aquas.. I really dont depend on the sign thing but I always ended up with cancers for some reason.. my ex and 2 ex boyfriends.. wonder why? lol

yeah we do like romance.. why its odd they say we can handle aquas..who seriously arent romantic.. from what I have read. I dont have one friend whos an aqua or a pisces.. i checked all of their birthdates. checking for aquas..lol see Im getting my humor back! First love was an aries.. but after that pretty much cancers.. I have a very short list on the how many have you been with list! thats why I overthink everything- I have only been involved with like 6 guys ever.. mainly cause I was married so young.. so an expert dater.. no not me! lol

lol....I have so many lines for that.. but I wont go there..
It must take a leo to boss an aqua.. libras have no luck with that!!

what he has is a lot but he may not be able to have a relationship. When he wants to he is sexy,sweet and his voice is amazing. He is exceptionally smart.. business wise I must say hes one of the most driven and we have great conversations at times..He is strong, bullheaded and confident.. I love those things. I believe he cares about me but I also believe he will not be rushed will not make another wrong choice as he feels his first wife was and because of that he is way way slow in making any relationship go forward. He told me one day hes not rushing anything- not anymore.. so he may not work for me.. but as far as his personal makeup- hes a good man. He has probably had it easy as far as attracting women and I think hes been pretty superficial in the type he has picked.. so hes been with some bad scenes.. plus if hes this tuff you know every normal women walks.. I keep seeing past this whole act and when we hang and talk I see who he is.. I think he knows that and it makes him nervous... so yeah I dont describe all the things I like because I try to figure out the things about him I dont like.. those are the things I need help on.. but in the whole scheme of things i dont regret the relationship - its been fun.. but I have to look ahead.. and that part is a bit sketchy.. so yes now its time...

ok.. that makes sense i had you in leather@!;lol

good to know hes romantic. Even in that really long description of the aquas.. it implies they arent romantic so your lucky!

I think remembering your favorite flowers and listening is romantic.. some men dont even remember a birthday or an anniversary.. hes trying- how old is he you said 30

ok.. now I may be a mess when it comes to my own feelings and weak with a guy I love.. but other people I see really clearly-
hes pretty cool for doing that! I think he sounds quite charming!

I had told mine that his mother was welcome to come over anytime.. this was about 4 months ago.. Its the way I was brought up..always offer food and drink.. my door is open.. he said it was too early for that..that its his mother and he couldnt go there yet. lol He has met my daughter..that he was nervous about... YOURS should be getting close.. I wouldnt bend on that one forever... I know you cant make him but he should consider it.. soon.

God all of that sounds so hard both unusualcancer & leokitten - way too frickin hard - is it worth it? what do you enjoy about this?

Aquas are such pains in the ass!! I tell my man what a pain in the ass he really is & he snickers (in a cute annoying way) at me & says I am not 😛 So not funny sooo immature - grrr

I met Mr Aqua mans mum & family when I met him in a very strange twist of fate - Then later on about 9 months later we both went overseas for a holiday & specifically for him to introduce me to the rest of his family & his dad who I had not met yet. He has met my family a few times & spent 2 christmas' with them but doesnt want to come visit them regularly - this is strange to me - aparently I am paying for the 'sins of his ex' as prime would say - because his ex wanted him to work for her parents & all this other shit & they were very 'proper' & boring - whatever
Mr man is far from commited & honestly I get all the usual 'I dont know what I want' crap - now after a hell of allot of shit I am moving interstate & he is staying here so I can figure out what I fucking want! Now he wants to have kids with me & wants to get married! WTF? how come it takes me to move interstate for him to want to grow up?

I read on some libra post that if a guy is a yo yo its because your obviously not the right one.. I have to tell you I dont think thats the case with aquas.. I get the feeling if you are the right one they do yo yo and if your the wrong one they play it out and just dump the relationship.... I know thats backward but they seem to do things opposite..

I think men are used to a pattern just like we are -most people are just moments and you move on. But every once in a while you find the chemistry and the attraction- If you are more comfortable with the hit and runs..then I think the guys turn into yo yos ... the guy who basically likes to keep it light... wants to make sure your not in love with him..feels he never wants to be hurt..he hates to let you go but cant let himself get close...thats a yo yo man. I always know Im in trouble when I worry about what I say to a man..