Should I Call....
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by natural25 on Friday, July 12, 2013 and has 13 replies.
I posted here last week about my Aqua ex.
He was out of town visiting his family and returned last Monday. We last spoke three weeks ago, after a somewhat awkward exchange. When we spoke he shared he was in a bit of a funk. His mom is sick and he is not happy with his program. We are both in grad school.
Anyways, we have not spoken since then. I called him a week after we talked to see how his mother was doing. No answer, no return call, which is really unlike him. Typically, if he does not answer my calls, he typically will call back soon thereafter. I heeeaarrrrrd through the grapevine that last week when he returned, he was a bit depressed. I was thinking about reaching out to him one last time.
I am conflicted. Part of me is saying, "don't call him! if he wants to talk he will call you back. period." And obviously, the other part of me is concerned and well.... misses him also.
What should I do? :-/
He was out of town visiting his family and returned last Monday. We last spoke three weeks ago, after a somewhat awkward exchange. When we spoke he shared he was in a bit of a funk. His mom is sick and he is not happy with his program. We are both in grad school.
Anyways, we have not spoken since then. I called him a week after we talked to see how his mother was doing. No answer, no return call, which is really unlike him. Typically, if he does not answer my calls, he typically will call back soon thereafter. I heeeaarrrrrd through the grapevine that last week when he returned, he was a bit depressed. I was thinking about reaching out to him one last time.
I am conflicted. Part of me is saying, "don't call him! if he wants to talk he will call you back. period." And obviously, the other part of me is concerned and well.... misses him also.
What should I do? :-/
Posted by feby16aqua
I would callWhat do you have to lose really?
My PRIDE! Lol. I know its ridiculous. But seriously... I just do not want to look foolish or desperate.
Bare with me. I'm a Scorpio. **bows head in shame**
Well seems like you already rejected the do call him idea. So my suggest is not to call him.
If you do it with the attitude and motivation as checking on him as a friend, then there is no reason not to call and check on him. He did include you into what's going on, so I think you're clear from appearing needy.
Posted by feby16aquaPosted by natural25Posted by feby16aqua
I would call
My PRIDE! Lol. I know its ridiculous. But seriously... I just do not want to look foolish or desperate.
Bare with me. I'm a Scorpio. **bows head in shame**
You two have had an intimate relationship in the past. You're still friends. You still care about him, and I can imagine it's mutual.
You are doing this out of the goodness of your heart, so how could that be wrong?click to expand
You raise a good point. Lol.
It's hard... putting one's pride aside. I do genuinely DO care about him... His well being... Im not sure how this happened. AGGHHHHHH!!!!!
Posted by Snaeky
You already figured out the logical choice. You're just not prepared to deal with the emotional part of it yet. Once upon a time, the plan you two decided on was to break up. Stick to the plan or at least take responsibility of your future actions.
Yikes!
The question then is, did I really want to the break up to take place to begin with....
Posted by JenLove
I would call, just out of concern for his well being. I think in this situation it would be best to put your pride and any other feelings aside so that you can be there for him as a person and not just his ex. I mean you did hear he was depressed, he told you that he wasn't all that happy with his current situation so it makes sense, you said his recent behavior is not like him and you two seem to be on friendly terms so I would at least check in and make sure he's okay instead of possibly regretting it later. You never really know what someone is feeling.
Yes, we both still do care about each other.
It's crazy... It's like he WANTS to be in some sort of emotional turmoil. He wants to brute. About his current situation.
And it seems like he WANTS for there to be this over arching care looming over both of our heads... Weighing down the both of us. Every time I talk to him or see him its the elephant in the room. You can feel the tension that has been created as a result of us still caring for one another. Its insane...
Posted by aquasnoz
Well seems like you already rejected the do call him idea. So my suggest is not to call him.
ha!
Posted by truecap
If you do it with the attitude and motivation as checking on him as a friend, then there is no reason not to call and check on him. He did include you into what's going on, so I think you're clear from appearing needy.
got it.
I've decided.
I'm going to call.....
I'm going to call.....
haha best of luck just ask how he's doing and ask if he's okay. Some Aquas have issues with people stepping over boundaries just showing you care in a very general way works then it's just up to him to open up.
Update.
So I got cold feet. Lol. I dialed his number. Before the first ring ended, I hung up. I am sure it did not go through on his end because I hung up instantly.
Ironically, he emailed me this morning at 2am just to say hi and that he was going through a lot. He did not say he saw that I called. So, I am assuming it did not go through on his end.
I just told him that I was sorry to hear he was having a hard time and to let me know if he needs anything. I have a gut feeling I need to let this one go.... Just keep living and see where the cards fall.
**shrugs**
So I got cold feet. Lol. I dialed his number. Before the first ring ended, I hung up. I am sure it did not go through on his end because I hung up instantly.
Ironically, he emailed me this morning at 2am just to say hi and that he was going through a lot. He did not say he saw that I called. So, I am assuming it did not go through on his end.
I just told him that I was sorry to hear he was having a hard time and to let me know if he needs anything. I have a gut feeling I need to let this one go.... Just keep living and see where the cards fall.
**shrugs**
Hi, newbie (here), Aquarian Male (29).
A touch of advice, engage him intellectually. Firstly if he'll give you the time of day, you must have something in your character he likes.
Find something you are doing, or even better planning to do (Aquarian's love ideas). It needs to be funky and different and special to you. Have a problem with achieving your goal (/plan). Don't give him all the information right away, let him probe and draw it out of you. Start off vague, grab his interest.
Example txt/email/IM: I was considering this, what do you think? - (link to interest)
Aquarian's need down time away from the world at times. It's in our nature, we time need to process sort and plan before the next sortie. Give him something to put his energy into. We are also easily distracted, don't push, but just a little nudge to get us back on track.
A touch of advice, engage him intellectually. Firstly if he'll give you the time of day, you must have something in your character he likes.
Find something you are doing, or even better planning to do (Aquarian's love ideas). It needs to be funky and different and special to you. Have a problem with achieving your goal (/plan). Don't give him all the information right away, let him probe and draw it out of you. Start off vague, grab his interest.
Example txt/email/IM: I was considering this, what do you think? - (link to interest)
Aquarian's need down time away from the world at times. It's in our nature, we time need to process sort and plan before the next sortie. Give him something to put his energy into. We are also easily distracted, don't push, but just a little nudge to get us back on track.
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