Situation

Hi, I have written here before, 2-3 years ago about the same Aqua girl. I am Taurus.

A little background: we know eachother for 5 years, co-workers. Friends (only at work) for a year and a half, then I diverced my ex wife, Aqua got interested, flirts for half a year, sex one time, then the madness started. She would dissapear, come back and so on. Rarely actually dated. Texted much. She had hurt me at times. This went for a year. I was in love with her, but couldnt do anything about it. She said she is not ready for a relationship, and that I am not ready myself (after my divorce). So 2 years ago I ended things, texting her everything that I felt for her and wished her all the best in life. In the meantime I am in another relationship, changed my life for good. Me and Aqua seldom talked at work, about work most of the time.

Until end of November. We were at the office, talking casual this time, about our lives, like 2 old friends. After that she started texting more and more, getting personal, flirting more. A month ago she drove me to the airport and things happened in her car (not sex, but not far from it). From that point on, things really changed to the point that we were talking daily, texting all the time, saying very personal secrets, saying all the time that she misses me, that she wants to see me. She has been very consistent with her feelings for a month. This is one thing that I asked her in the beggining.

I have told her about my new life since the beggining - my relationship and the fact that I live with my current girl and with her daughter at my place. Aqua was reluctant at first, of course, because she had other guys in the past in the same situation and things never worked out in her favour. But nontheless, she dived in. She would initiate the conversations most of the times, making efforts to see me, saying she is in love and then that she loves me. We had sex at her place a few times, spend 2 times almost 24h togheter. Everything was amazing. She would say sometimes that we are meant to be and that we should be togheter and that she doesnt want to continue like this, being the mistress.

Bear in mind that this happened between around December 12th, until 2 days ago - first week we were both in business trips, second week - Christmas, then she left for NYE with her daughter. Then another short vacation. Yesterday was her first day at actual work, a short business trip, a very intensive one. Yesterday was the first day that she was not as before, not so present and not so sentimental as before. Yes, I admit, I dont like it, just because I remembered her "dissapearences" from 2-3 years ago.

So, what do you think?

She says that she wants to be with me, to live togheter, to have 2 kids (!!). That she wants a family and I am perfect and 'the one' etc etc. She would rarely say that she finds it hard to live with someone (being single, or just casual for the past 10 years) and that she doesnt like people 'invading' her place. But I could tell that she liked me there and we both felt very natural. I really felt her like she is in love. Until 2 days ago. I also felt a slight pressure from her to make up my mind about being with her or not. She was the love of my life. Now, we are in a very different situation from 3 years ago and I have my doubts.

I know, from my own experience (with her), that Aquas tend to back off at some point. How long, what should I do about it, I dont know 🙂

Btw you are compeering her by how she was in the beginning. She behaved that way because she thought you were not ready to have a relationship. Now she is in a different place and she can see that you can. She doesn’t want to be your lover. She wants to be your partner. Why are you doubting her and making her pay for what she thought it was true?

Just talked with her over the phone. Very casual, quite dettached. But still into me. She says: what are we going to do? Coz if we stay like this, you sharing me, I will probably share you too. And that she doesnt want to pressure me, but in my mind this is pressure 🙂) She felt me that I wasnt quite myself today, told her that I am just tired, but she feels me, just like I feel her all the time.

Anyway, we will see.

Posted by pisceswoman123

Btw you are compeering her by how she was in the beginning. She behaved that way because she thought you were not ready to have a relationship. Now she is in a different place and she can see that you can. She doesn’t want to be your lover. She wants to be your partner. Why are you doubting her and making her pay for what she thought it was true?

As much as she was the woman I loved the most, she was also the one who hurted me the most 3 years ago. It was horrible for me back then. Because she kept telling me that she wants to be with me, but she can't - because she doesnt want a relationship and because I wasnt ready. And it became very confusing for me. Whenever she backs off like that, I remember those moments. Yes, now she seems to know what she wants, but things are different for me, I live under the same roof with someone, who is not perfect for me, its not exactly what I want in life (and I realize this now, after the Aqua reaperred in my life), but still, we are getting along very very well.

Posted by BAV

Posted by pisceswoman123

Btw you are compeering her by how she was in the beginning. She behaved that way because she thought you were not ready to have a relationship. Now she is in a different place and she can see that you can. She doesn’t want to be your lover. She wants to be your partner. Why are you doubting her and making her pay for what she thought it was true?

As much as she was the woman I loved the most, she was also the one who hurted me the most 3 years ago. It was horrible for me back then. Because she kept telling me that she wants to be with me, but she can't - because she doesnt want a relationship and because I wasnt ready. And it became very confusing for me. Whenever she backs off like that, I remember those moments. Yes, now she seems to know what she wants, but things are different for me, I live under the same roof with someone, who is not perfect for me, its not exactly what I want in life (and I realize this now, after the Aqua reaperred in my life), but still, we are getting along very very well.

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I just read your other post too.

She is asking you if you are ready to get serious with her. She is being very honest and open about it.

But she made it clear too that she is not going to waste her time only with you if you don’t know what you want.

It’s your choice.

"I live under the same roof with someone, who is not perfect for me, its not exactly what I want in life (and I realize this now, after the Aqua reappeared in my life), but still, we are getting along very very well."

"As much as she was the woman I loved the most, she was also the one who hurted me the most 3 years ago."

Taurus, you need to get of your comfy chair asap. If you hold on to it, one year down the line (and possibly long after) you will be grieving the loss of "the love of your life" and feel resentment toward the woman "under your roof" (who is probably intuitive enough to feel that something is missing, since you are not in love with her, and resent you back).

I'm the offspring of an Aqua/Taurus pairing, and their lifelong marriage was hot like hell (from a Pisces point of view) but my parents have been addicted to drama and to each other, and still are. Your modalities are fixed, meaning that once you made up your mind, you two will stick to it.

What a lovey dovey story.

But here is the kicker: What are you going to do about the woman YOU LIVE WITH? You know, the one who is your ACTUAL girlfriend.

Your ex, you're now screwing again, isn't the woman you're currently cheating on. Handle your business the right way and stop double -dippin'. This isn't all smiles and games. You are about to break someone's heart. That is the TRUE reality of this escapade 😒

Aqua only like you cause your forbidden fruit.

It's an ego boost that she gets knowing she got somebody else's man.

Y'all are dorks.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by DMV

Aqua only like you cause your forbidden fruit.

It's an ego boost that she gets knowing she got somebody else's man.

Y'all are dorks.

All of this ‼️‼️‼️

He made the comment that she said she had past experiences with men who had women and “it didn’t turn out well for her”. Meaning she wasn’t successful at breaking up a home. Trifling ass. Women like this disgust me.

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Gurl, and the men who think they're Gods gift to women not knowing their just a pawn in an ego game.

Posted by BAV

She says that she wants to be with me, to live togheter, to have 2 kids (!!). That she wants a family and I am perfect and 'the one' etc etc. She would rarely say that she finds it hard to live with someone (being single, or just casual for the past 10 years) and that she doesnt like people 'invading' her place. But I could tell that she liked me there and we both felt very natural. I really felt her like she is in love. Until 2 days ago. I also felt a slight pressure from her to make up my mind about being with her or not. She was the love of my life. Now, we are in a very different situation from 3 years ago and I have my doubts.

I know, from my own experience (with her), that Aquas tend to back off at some point. How long, what should I do about it, I dont know 🙂

What’s up with your current relationship? Who are you actually in love with?

She saw how you were in a relationship and wants that for herself. Pretty selfish if you ask me. Why didn’t she take the time to get to know you when you were actually available?

All the sudden cheating has got her so involved and interested in you?

Hopefully it doesn’t back fire on you, if you leave the current situation for her. Seems to me she could get a little restless and bored once there is nothing to “win”

Posted by Arielle83

Sorry, but you are way too fucking easy.

You and her both want what you can’t have.

She didn’t want you when she could have you.

Now you’re serious with a live in family and all of a sudden she’s in “love” with you?

Don’t tell me it’s real because it isn’t.

She just got wet knowing you could crawl like a bitch to her.

You just cheated. She’s saying she loves you after 2 weeks. How the fuck could she love you? She just talked random love bomb bs to see if she could take you from another.

You don’t feel anything for your live in gf, so you’re fucking her and her daughter long term. She could be with someone that actually could love her and protect her.

That isn’t you.

You’re easy.

Go with the second chick because you will see her act snd game ends once she sees you are serious.

Might as well dump them both.

It’s a game

Bingo! All the while he's dropping smilin' emojis as if this shit isn't going to backfire. It sure 'nough will.

Quick update: After trying to tell me in a nice way that she cant handle the situation (me being with another woman) and that she wants to follow her own career (involves the possibility of her moving to another country) and me telling her that I will be needing a couple of months to have order in my thoughts and feelings - this was Saturday evening - I thought that things will downplay for both. But no, nothing important happened, we stayed at the same level of intensity for 2-3 days.

Until yesterday, when we had another chat and the end was: HER: "I have 2 options: 1. accept this situation with you and your girlfriend which will continue for a few months and in the end I can end up hurt again, as I have no certainty that you will leave her and 2. take a step back." She said she tried accepting option 1, but she is not made for this and her past experiences make her run from this.

And since then we both stopped communicating.

Posted by BAV

Quick update: After trying to tell me in a nice way that she cant handle the situation (me being with another woman) and that she wants to follow her own career (involves the possibility of her moving to another country) and me telling her that I will be needing a couple of months to have order in my thoughts and feelings - this was Saturday evening - I thought that things will downplay for both. But no, nothing important happened, we stayed at the same level of intensity for 2-3 days.

Until yesterday, when we had another chat and the end was: HER: "I have 2 options: 1. accept this situation with you and your girlfriend which will continue for a few months and in the end I can end up hurt again, as I have no certainty that you will leave her and 2. take a step back." She said she tried accepting option 1, but she is not made for this and her past experiences make her run from this.

And since then we both stopped communicating.

I know from my experience that Taurus doesn't give up easily. Good job she took a decision for both of you. I hope she sticks with it and leaves the country to further her career, and that you give up on her for good, mentally and emotionally, as soon as she is out of the picture.

I also hope that you have learned something about yourself...maybe you crave someone to keep you on your toes, rather than build a stable and relatively stress-free relationship with you?

Posted by Undine

Posted by BAV

Quick update: After trying to tell me in a nice way that she cant handle the situation (me being with another woman) and that she wants to follow her own career (involves the possibility of her moving to another country) and me telling her that I will be needing a couple of months to have order in my thoughts and feelings - this was Saturday evening - I thought that things will downplay for both. But no, nothing important happened, we stayed at the same level of intensity for 2-3 days.

Until yesterday, when we had another chat and the end was: HER: "I have 2 options: 1. accept this situation with you and your girlfriend which will continue for a few months and in the end I can end up hurt again, as I have no certainty that you will leave her and 2. take a step back." She said she tried accepting option 1, but she is not made for this and her past experiences make her run from this.

And since then we both stopped communicating.

I know from my experience that Taurus doesn't give up easily. Good job she took a decision for both of you. I hope she sticks with it and leaves the country to further her career, and that you give up on her for good, mentally and emotionally, as soon as she is out of the picture.

I also hope that you have learned something about yourself...maybe you crave someone to keep you on your toes, rather than build a stable and relatively stress-free relationship with you?

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What I have now is a stable and stress-free relationship. And I hate to have someone keep me on my toes! BUT, after one month with Aqua, I know that this is not enough, I want a deeper connection. The thing is that I dont think I can live my life with my gf , just as before meeting Aqua.

PS: she texted me today that she didnt expected me to stop communicating.. Wtf?

Posted by BAV

Posted by Undine

Posted by BAV

Quick update: After trying to tell me in a nice way that she cant handle the situation (me being with another woman) and that she wants to follow her own career (involves the possibility of her moving to another country) and me telling her that I will be needing a couple of months to have order in my thoughts and feelings - this was Saturday evening - I thought that things will downplay for both. But no, nothing important happened, we stayed at the same level of intensity for 2-3 days.

Until yesterday, when we had another chat and the end was: HER: "I have 2 options: 1. accept this situation with you and your girlfriend which will continue for a few months and in the end I can end up hurt again, as I have no certainty that you will leave her and 2. take a step back." She said she tried accepting option 1, but she is not made for this and her past experiences make her run from this.

And since then we both stopped communicating.

I know from my experience that Taurus doesn't give up easily. Good job she took a decision for both of you. I hope she sticks with it and leaves the country to further her career, and that you give up on her for good, mentally and emotionally, as soon as she is out of the picture.

I also hope that you have learned something about yourself...maybe you crave someone to keep you on your toes, rather than build a stable and relatively stress-free relationship with you?

What I have now is a stable and stress-free relationship. And I hate to have someone keep me on my toes! BUT, after one month with Aqua, I know that this is not enough, I want a deeper connection. The thing is that I dont think I can live my life with my gf , just as before meeting Aqua.

PS: she texted me today that she didnt expected me to stop communicating.. Wtf?

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Connection is when your action and words resonate with those of the other person, and vice versa. They "get" you, and you get them immediately. Is this the case with You and Aqua..?

What you have with Aqua (and is lacking with your GF) is the excitement and angst caused by her unpredictability and your lack of control, followed by the illusion that you are in control, which brings temporary stress relief. Imagine the Aqua as your girlfriend...she is not going to change who she is. What if one day she packs her bags and moves abroad to further her career, as she claims she wants to? I'm Aqua Venus and Mercury, and did that to my Taurus Moon husband.

Posted by Undine

Posted by BAV

Posted by Undine

Posted by BAV

Quick update: After trying to tell me in a nice way that she cant handle the situation (me being with another woman) and that she wants to follow her own career (involves the possibility of her moving to another country) and me telling her that I will be needing a couple of months to have order in my thoughts and feelings - this was Saturday evening - I thought that things will downplay for both. But no, nothing important happened, we stayed at the same level of intensity for 2-3 days.

Until yesterday, when we had another chat and the end was: HER: "I have 2 options: 1. accept this situation with you and your girlfriend which will continue for a few months and in the end I can end up hurt again, as I have no certainty that you will leave her and 2. take a step back." She said she tried accepting option 1, but she is not made for this and her past experiences make her run from this.

And since then we both stopped communicating.

I know from my experience that Taurus doesn't give up easily. Good job she took a decision for both of you. I hope she sticks with it and leaves the country to further her career, and that you give up on her for good, mentally and emotionally, as soon as she is out of the picture.

I also hope that you have learned something about yourself...maybe you crave someone to keep you on your toes, rather than build a stable and relatively stress-free relationship with you?

What I have now is a stable and stress-free relationship. And I hate to have someone keep me on my toes! BUT, after one month with Aqua, I know that this is not enough, I want a deeper connection. The thing is that I dont think I can live my life with my gf , just as before meeting Aqua.

PS: she texted me today that she didnt expected me to stop communicating.. Wtf?

Connection is when your action and words resonate with those of the other person, and vice versa. They "get" you, and you get them immediately. Is this the case with You and Aqua..?

What you have with Aqua (and is lacking with your GF) is the excitement and angst caused by her unpredictability and your lack of control, followed by the illusion that you are in control, which brings temporary stress relief. Imagine the Aqua as your girlfriend...she is not going to change who she is. What if one day she packs her bags and moves abroad to further her career, as she claims she wants to? I'm Aqua Venus and Mercury, and did that to my Taurus Moon husband.

click to expand

Yes, we have this kind of connection, me and Aqua. I've seen it during the past month. She has been predictable 90% of the time, which was a great improvement from 2 years ago when she was on and off with me. I know, its just one month, thats my issue too. What you are saying sounds like she is drug for me. Last month I felt like I was a drug for her. Now, she wants to change the balance.

Regarding her idea of moving, she tells me that she would not consider it, if we were together. Of course she can leave me for her career any time even if we will be a couple. But we need to be a bad couple for this to happen which at the moment doesn't seem the case.

PS: we both took the drug today, i.e. seeing each other at the office..

If you want to inspire the aqua to be with you, you need to be a man worthy of inspiration.

Currently you are being a pussy keeping one foot in a relationship you aren’t satisfied with. How can you expect her to give you 100% when you are 2 timing your live in gf? You have selfish written all over your actions.

All you do is hurt the women around you. Your selfish actions hurt the aqua, hurt your gf, and worst of all hurt your gf’s daughter.

Man up.

you a dumb bull - Aqua is pulling that ring in your nose and leading you astray

she is playing you and you live with a woman and her daughter ?

you are young and that's why you are not right in the head

that Aqua is bad news - but she's got you hooked on her and she's giving you all the drama you seem to want - she's just playing with you trying to lure you away and when she does "will you be ready for another relationship now" … remember what happened 3 years ago when you didn't give in to her demands. she was playing you then too; like a fiddle

Aqua is holding you hostage and you'd best just leave them both and be alone until you figure out what you want in life

like if you don't want me than I'm just going to move to another planet - she's pulling that same disappearing act again and you are still blind

A short update just to check out your opinions.

Last time I wrote (more than a month ago), she said she doesn't want to continue because it was a triangle and all that. But this was just the beginning 🙂) Whenever she pulls away, I dont do much to have her back, but she comes in a day or two.

Until 2 weeks ago, when she told me again that we should take a break and come back 100% when I would have solved my issues with my gf. In the meantime, I decided that I dont want to have regrets (no trying with the Aqua), so I paused my relationship with my gf. Honestly I came at a point where I just couldn't stay at home with her for many different reasons. So I moved out, with my mom 🙂)

Also, just before taking that step, the Aqua told me that she has changed (in 2 days time) and her priority is now her career. And that she is thinking about moving to another country. Very distant and cold also. But still friendly.

OK, so I told Aqua that I left my apartment, moved alone, with my mom and asked her out. At first no, but then yes, we dated, with her daughter too... Just like a family more or less. That was a week ago. After this - 2 days of hot and cold, another date last Wednesday when she told me she needs time and I told her that we should spend more time together and be inlove (she always tells me that she loves me and that she is 100% sure that she wants to be with me). Next day - ok, next 2 days again not ok - she tells me she is not feeling well at all, she is dizzy etc etc. This was last Friday and Saturday when she was alone at home, her kid is on vacation for 1 week. So I gave her space, I probably was a bit cold myself, tired of all of this as I cannot understand how she doesn't want to spend time with the person she says she is in love, under whatever circumstances she is (she claimed to be sick). Yesterday she texts me that I am acting childish about being cold to her when she has been sick. I apologize telling her that I gave her space to get well and that it is just wasted time to argue when we could just have a nice Sunday afternoon together.

She agreed, we went out, she said she was feeling much better. Here comes the sweet part: when I took her back home, she said she doesnt want to spend the night together mainly because she is thinking very seriously about moving away to another country (something she told me about a few times in the past). So she doesnt want to get involved too much, considering this! And less than a month ago we were fucking like rabbits and she was inlove like I havent seen anyone before. Like in the movies 🙂))

The way she told me this was still like a women being inlove and having a hard time deciding. No doubt about this. She told me again that she loves me the minute I got home, then again, then today. That she is 100% sure that she wants to be with me because of who I am. That she wants me to move with her to another country. She even suggested we should get married 🙂)) But still, she doesnt want to spend time with me this week when she is alone at home and I am single. Her conclusion: she will come around in a few days or weeks.

She even told me that she has checked out some properties, here, at home, but they would be perfect for the 2 of them (she and her daughter), but not for the 3 of us and the kids that she is planning! wtf?!

Honestly I am getting tired of this. For me this is useless drama. If she wants to be with me, we should spend time and time again to see how we deal as a couple, then make plans. And it is fucking useless and childish to not spend time together now, being alone at home.

What do you think?

She reminds me of my Aqua ex, who ended our 6 months relationship out of the blue. Then he wanted to be "just friends", while I was in a relationship with a Gem. Then apparently, he was very much in love with me and kept chasing.

When my relationship with the Gem ended, Aqua did everything to present himself as my ideal partner, who learned from his mistakes, had big plans for us, promised a lot, and was now 100% committed, bla, bla. He might have been genuine while he was determined to win me back, but put very little thought into the practicalities of our relationship, once I took him back.

One month before he was supposed to move in with me, he bailed out of the relationship, but still wanted to keep me hooked "as a friend". Like previous time, the reason was his job, aka the difficulty to bring his business closer to where I worked and lived. Difficulty which existed all along, and he did nothing to try to solve it, despite his promise.

The pattern: very keen to win, but once they've won, you realize they haven't thought it through, and all the practicalities of holding a relationship together now lie with yourself, while they do their best to undermine it.

She is now wanting for you to bring evidence that you can buy her a house big enough for the four of you (including the child you didn't know she was planning) or she'll have to go and work abroad (and you'd better do the same).

Look at her actions (the distance she keeps from you), not at her words! I bet you'll feel much better once you realize you woke up just before your wonderful dream was about to become a nightmare!

Posted by Undine

She reminds me of my Aqua ex, who ended our 6 months relationship out of the blue. Then he wanted to be "just friends", while I was in a relationship with a Gem. Then apparently, he was very much in love with me and kept chasing.

When my relationship with the Gem ended, Aqua did everything to present himself as my ideal partner, who learned from his mistakes, had big plans for us, promised a lot, and was now 100% committed, bla, bla. He might have been genuine while he was determined to win me back, but put very little thought into the practicalities of our relationship, once I took him back.

One month before he was supposed to move in with me, he bailed out of the relationship, but still wanted to keep me hooked "as a friend". Like previous time, the reason was his job, aka the difficulty to bring his business closer to where I worked and lived. Difficulty which existed all along, and he did nothing to try to solve it, despite his promise.

The pattern: very keen to win, but once they've won, you realize they haven't thought it through, and all the practicalities of holding a relationship together now lie with yourself, while they do their best to undermine it.

She is now wanting for you to bring evidence that you can buy her a house big enough for the four of you (including the child you didn't know she was planning) or she'll have to go and work abroad (and you'd better do the same).

Look at her actions (the distance she keeps from you), not at her words! I bet you'll feel much better once you realize you woke up just before your wonderful dream was about to become a nightmare!

This is very interesting! And similar, yes. A couple of things: she wants 2 kids, as I do, we discussed this. Yes, she wants to buy together a house, I dont agree, haven't told her that yet. In my opinion it should her house or my house, on paper. Not to legally share a house. She doesn't want to go to work abroad for money. But because of different life style all together.

But, yes, you are very true on looking at her actions, not words. In the first phase (when she was chasing), her actions were matching her words. Now, they dont. Its not like 3 years ago, but similar. And for a relationship to start like this is not ok.

BUT, at the moment I have nothing to lose, I will give her space and see what happens. Maybe for a week or two. If its going to go like this, I will end it. I dont have time to waste on this.

Posted by Aquarelle

I think you should give her space. You want to control the relationship and she is not letting you. Stop with the power struggles.

Also it's not so strange not to want anyone around when you are sick and not feeling well.....

Of course you can be in love with someone, but planning a move to another country would make any person hesitate to start something romantic in the country they are leaving. She is having a hard time deciding, but you seem to want to be her no.1 boyfriend already. Let her breathe for a while, it's a hard decision for her too. People can change their mind, you seem to have a problem with that too. Not so strange considering Taurus is a fixed sign.

OK, interesting pov. You sound like her 🙂) I will do just that for a week or two. So as to have no regrets. I always have a feeling that she is bullshiting me, that she is just a very good liar. I dont know how, she knew this, so yesterday she said something like: I know you dont believe me but I always speak the truth. This was out of the blue.

On the other hand, I still think its just crazy not to want to spend a few days together with the person you say you love. After all that chasing until 2 weeks ago... To see if you like to live with him, if it doesnt bother you when he eats, when he wakes up, etc etc.

OK, so lets see what happens in the next week. I will have my heart and mind open for anything. After that I will decide for good.

Are you responding to her when she expresses what she wants with you?

Posted by BAV

Posted by Aquarelle

I think you should give her space. You want to control the relationship and she is not letting you. Stop with the power struggles.

Also it's not so strange not to want anyone around when you are sick and not feeling well.....

Of course you can be in love with someone, but planning a move to another country would make any person hesitate to start something romantic in the country they are leaving. She is having a hard time deciding, but you seem to want to be her no.1 boyfriend already. Let her breathe for a while, it's a hard decision for her too. People can change their mind, you seem to have a problem with that too. Not so strange considering Taurus is a fixed sign.

OK, interesting pov. You sound like her 🙂) I will do just that for a week or two. So as to have no regrets. I always have a feeling that she is bullshiting me, that she is just a very good liar. I dont know how, she knew this, so yesterday she said something like: I know you dont believe me but I always speak the truth. This was out of the blue.

On the other hand, I still think its just crazy not to want to spend a few days together with the person you say you love. After all that chasing until 2 weeks ago... To see if you like to live with him, if it doesnt bother you when he eats, when he wakes up, etc etc.

OK, so lets see what happens in the next week. I will have my heart and mind open for anything. After that I will decide for good.

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Ive had a bad experience with an aqua too, i know the hot n cold games, the space, the indecisiveness, the secretive feeling.

You know what i learned from her erratic behavior? If something feels off, it probably is.

Trust your intuition, not your heart, not your mind, intuition comes from the gut.

I don't know how to explain it, but its like your head doesn't hurt, nor your heart but your diafragma feels full out of the sudden and then comes a thought but of awareness and you dont feel any panic(that would be anxiety), thats proper intuition right there.

Hope it helps mate.

Posted by Tinnedglass

Posted by BAV

Posted by Aquarelle

I think you should give her space. You want to control the relationship and she is not letting you. Stop with the power struggles.

Also it's not so strange not to want anyone around when you are sick and not feeling well.....

Of course you can be in love with someone, but planning a move to another country would make any person hesitate to start something romantic in the country they are leaving. She is having a hard time deciding, but you seem to want to be her no.1 boyfriend already. Let her breathe for a while, it's a hard decision for her too. People can change their mind, you seem to have a problem with that too. Not so strange considering Taurus is a fixed sign.

OK, interesting pov. You sound like her 🙂) I will do just that for a week or two. So as to have no regrets. I always have a feeling that she is bullshiting me, that she is just a very good liar. I dont know how, she knew this, so yesterday she said something like: I know you dont believe me but I always speak the truth. This was out of the blue.

On the other hand, I still think its just crazy not to want to spend a few days together with the person you say you love. After all that chasing until 2 weeks ago... To see if you like to live with him, if it doesnt bother you when he eats, when he wakes up, etc etc.

OK, so lets see what happens in the next week. I will have my heart and mind open for anything. After that I will decide for good.

Ive had a bad experience with an aqua too, i know the hot n cold games, the space, the indecisiveness, the secretive feeling.

You know what i learned from her erratic behavior? If something feels off, it probably is.

Trust your intuition, not your heart, not your mind, intuition comes from the gut.

I don't know how to explain it, but its like your head doesn't hurt, nor your heart but your diafragma feels full out of the sudden and then comes a thought but of awareness and you dont feel any panic(that would be anxiety), thats proper intuition right there.

Hope it helps mate.

click to expand

I don’t know your situation, but I find that men seem unaware of cause and effect when it comes to relationships with Aqua women. We are super proactive, but we are equally as reactive.

I’m willing to bet that there’s something from his end that’s causing her to be unsure.

Us Aqua women pay attention to every detail and are quite idealistic. Sometimes subconsciously....

I read his posts from years back about her. THE WAY HE WRITES makes him SEEMS uninvolved. It’s ‘she this and she that’. Hardly any input or thoughts from him. Plus he made a huge hiccup in the beginning. It was 3 years or so back, but it maybe lingering a little. Our long term memory is like an elephant. Sounds like she forgave, but bothers her if she’s not sure if he’s grown from it.

Posted by STILL

Are you responding to her when she expresses what she wants with you?

I have told her that I want for us to move in together, but not at this moment, because its too early. She agreed. But at the same time, it seems naturally to me to try and live together for a few days, like these days. I said I want kids with her. I havent said anything clear to her about moving to another country.

Posted by STILL

Posted by Tinnedglass

Posted by BAV

Posted by Aquarelle

I think you should give her space. You want to control the relationship and she is not letting you. Stop with the power struggles.

Also it's not so strange not to want anyone around when you are sick and not feeling well.....

Of course you can be in love with someone, but planning a move to another country would make any person hesitate to start something romantic in the country they are leaving. She is having a hard time deciding, but you seem to want to be her no.1 boyfriend already. Let her breathe for a while, it's a hard decision for her too. People can change their mind, you seem to have a problem with that too. Not so strange considering Taurus is a fixed sign.

OK, interesting pov. You sound like her 🙂) I will do just that for a week or two. So as to have no regrets. I always have a feeling that she is bullshiting me, that she is just a very good liar. I dont know how, she knew this, so yesterday she said something like: I know you dont believe me but I always speak the truth. This was out of the blue.

On the other hand, I still think its just crazy not to want to spend a few days together with the person you say you love. After all that chasing until 2 weeks ago... To see if you like to live with him, if it doesnt bother you when he eats, when he wakes up, etc etc.

OK, so lets see what happens in the next week. I will have my heart and mind open for anything. After that I will decide for good.

Ive had a bad experience with an aqua too, i know the hot n cold games, the space, the indecisiveness, the secretive feeling.

You know what i learned from her erratic behavior? If something feels off, it probably is.

Trust your intuition, not your heart, not your mind, intuition comes from the gut.

I don't know how to explain it, but its like your head doesn't hurt, nor your heart but your diafragma feels full out of the sudden and then comes a thought but of awareness and you dont feel any panic(that would be anxiety), thats proper intuition right there.

Hope it helps mate.

I don’t know your situation, but I find that men seem unaware of cause and effect when it comes to relationships with Aqua women. We are super proactive, but we are equally as reactive.

I’m willing to bet that there’s something from his end that’s causing her to be unsure.

Us Aqua women pay attention to every detail and are quite idealistic. Sometimes subconsciously....

I read his posts from years back about her. THE WAY HE WRITES makes him SEEMS uninvolved. It’s ‘she this and she that’. Hardly any input or thoughts from him. Plus he made a huge hiccup in the beginning. It was 3 years or so back, but it maybe lingering a little. Our long term memory is like an elephant. Sounds like she forgave, but bothers her if she’s not sure if he’s grown from it.

click to expand

Yes, its true that she absorbes every detail like a sponge and at some point boom! she hits me. But I dont think its this at the moment. What happened in the past stays in the past. Thats her line. Now she thinks I am hooked and plays games, tests me etc etc. I am there, but not willing to give in to her, until I see her act on her words and make some effort. Otherwise its not going to work for me. She is not 100% there, so why should I be?

What I feel now is like a cat and mouse game on CONTROL. She wants to be in CONTROL, she is a control freak. She wants to do things her way, always. Last night she said it would be nice to go out a couple of days, this week. She tells me about a beautiful resort and that it would be nice to make love there.. lol. So this morning I asked her if she wants me to book 2 nights there, its nonrefundable and not cheap. She said no. No explanation.

SO, I will mind my own business and see what happens. Im not going to be clingy and to give in to her wierd ways. In a week or so I will probably decide. And as far things look at this moment, I will leave this relationship.

Posted by Aquarelle

I think you should give her space. You want to control the relationship and she is not letting you. Stop with the power struggles.

Also it's not so strange not to want anyone around when you are sick and not feeling well.....

Of course you can be in love with someone, but planning a move to another country would make any person hesitate to start something romantic in the country they are leaving. She is having a hard time deciding, but you seem to want to be her no.1 boyfriend already. Let her breathe for a while, it's a hard decision for her too. People can change their mind, you seem to have a problem with that too. Not so strange considering Taurus is a fixed sign.

What is your version of giving her space? Yesterday I was just being nice to her, poking around (texts) from time to time. She was replying very nice. Last evening she became more conversational. So we talked over the phone, she said she wanted to go with me outside the city for a couple of days this week.

This morning she said "no 🙂" when asked if I should book that hotel room that we discussed last night. No further explanation. I said ok and moved on with the convo. After a few hours told her I that I admit, I do miss her. She said to come by her office, but its not that sweet and lovable as before. OK, I can get that, we cant be like that all the time. She tricked me into believing this 2 months 🙂)) My bad.

Anyway, I told her that I want to go shopping in the evening and ask if she wants to come with me. No reply.

So, have I given her space? I really would like to know this. Because I am not used to this... I dont know the amount of space needed by her. And at the same time is frustrating to make plans in the evening and cancel them without explanation in the morning... This is the same as 3 years ago. The only difference is that I am not that needy and clingy as before and will move on if this persists (told her that a week ago, she said she doesnt believe me).

Posted by Aquarelle

Posted by BAV

Posted by Aquarelle

I think you should give her space. You want to control the relationship and she is not letting you. Stop with the power struggles.

Also it's not so strange not to want anyone around when you are sick and not feeling well.....

Of course you can be in love with someone, but planning a move to another country would make any person hesitate to start something romantic in the country they are leaving. She is having a hard time deciding, but you seem to want to be her no.1 boyfriend already. Let her breathe for a while, it's a hard decision for her too. People can change their mind, you seem to have a problem with that too. Not so strange considering Taurus is a fixed sign.

What is your version of giving her space? Yesterday I was just being nice to her, poking around (texts) from time to time. She was replying very nice. Last evening she became more conversational. So we talked over the phone, she said she wanted to go with me outside the city for a couple of days this week.

This morning she said "no 🙂" when asked if I should book that hotel room that we discussed last night. No further explanation. I said ok and moved on with the convo. After a few hours told her I that I admit, I do miss her. She said to come by her office, but its not that sweet and lovable as before. OK, I can get that, we cant be like that all the time. She tricked me into believing this 2 months 🙂)) My bad.

Anyway, I told her that I want to go shopping in the evening and ask if she wants to come with me. No reply.

So, have I given her space? I really would like to know this. Because I am not used to this... I dont know the amount of space needed by her. And at the same time is frustrating to make plans in the evening and cancel them without explanation in the morning... This is the same as 3 years ago. The only difference is that I am not that needy and clingy as before and will move on if this persists (told her that a week ago, she said she doesnt believe me).

Phew, I don't know. When I need space, that means you won't hear from me or see me for a while. Zero contact. Could be different for her. Did you ask her why she said "no" when you wanted to book that hotel room? She has a child, right? That probably limits her ability to go on spontaneous trips. I don't understand though why she said she was interested in going outside the city this week. Maybe let her do the booking? Leave it up to her?

Could be she was only daydreaming when she said that? And now that you want to make it happen, she backs out?

In general she seems to confuse you, you seem to have different expectations of this relationship. And to me it sounds like she is keeping a bit of distance for some reason.

click to expand

OK, this is interesting.. with the no contact policy 🙂) Whenever she backs away, she does the first move after a day or two.

No, I didnt asked her (actually spoke with her over the phone a bit, tried to bring that up, she changed subject). She has a child, who likes me a lot, and this week is away at grandparents on a vacation. So, she is home alone, I am home alone. Yet, no dates, no sleeping together, no initiative from her part. I dont know if she was daydreaming, but SHE said that she wants to go, she searched the dates and availability and then I told her that I would contact the hotel in the morning to check if they would offer a better price than booking.com. (I own a b&b and know that I charge a bit more online than over the phone). So, I was being practical.

Yes, its confusing as hell. At the same time, things seems to go downward not upward. I had some talks with her, nothing changes essentially. I am pretty sure that she feels some sort of pressure from me and I am expecting a text from her soon, a long one, telling me that this will not work, bla bla. 🙂)

A week ago she told me that she is afraid of this, of too-good. That she know that everything will be perfect but she is scared. For the past 10 years, she didnt had a proper relationship. Just adventures and lovers. And a-few-months bad relationships. And 2 days ago, she gives me another story - the leaving the country one. And at the same time saying that she wants to be with me, she knows I am perfect for her and for eachother....

Yes, its damn confusing 🙂)

Posted by Aquarelle

You said this:

.....I have told her that I want for us to move in together, but not at this moment, because its too early. She agreed. But at the same time, it seems naturally to me to try and live together for a few days, like these days. I said I want kids with her. I havent said anything clear to her about moving to another country.

But also this:

.......SO, I will mind my own business and see what happens. Im not going to be clingy and to give in to her wierd ways. In a week or so I will probably decide. And as far things look at this moment, I will leave this relationship.......

That to me sounds at least very confusing. You tell her you want kids with her, which is pretty serious, and next you are telling you probably want to leave the relationship. She probably doesn't trust you.

OK, so its like this: she wants to move from her apartment complex, because she feels that she has ended a period in her life. She wants to move either to a new home here, or out of the country. She says she wants to do this with me (I am not very sure if she meant it). BUT, dont you think we can give it a try and see how we get along in the present conditions? I dont like that much to take risks (Taurus mind). What if we dont get along and I am with her in another country, jobless and in a shitty relationship? Or we buy together a home and it doesnt work out and we are are stuck with a bank credit together??

Instead, we could live in her apartment for a while and then decide. This week would have been a start.

OK, so this is getting ridiculous. I feel like a jackass. Just 3 days ago she was saying she loves me a lot, told her that too and then boom, she is ghosting me. She "doesnt feel like going on a 2 days outing with me, at this moment". She doesnt feel like seeing me at all, she doesnt initiate any conversation, BUT she talks with me over the phone a lot, silly things, like what she did at home, what she is buying etc. Whenever I try to bring up a subject about us, she changes that. She is not sweet like a few days ago. And this is getting worse and worse.

I feel that there is no more respect for me or for my feelings. She is very egoistic.

One question: I am trying to find out from where this is coming from. So, a few ideas:

1. she is scared shitless of a relationship and does everything to sabotage it. She has told me she is scared a few times and thats why she runs away. She is scared of success. And probably now she finds all kind of stupid mistakes from my part to convince herself that this is not going to work out.

2. she is testing me to the limit to see if I go back to my ex. She said something about testing me a week ago.

3. she is bipolar. Told her that 3 days ago, as a joke. She took it rather serious and said she's not that bad, but not very far.

4. this is who she is really. And all that last couple of months were a joke.

I will ask her out to tell her that its not going to go like this and have closure. I bet she doesnt want to meet. So, I will text her. But I can not go on like this.

Posted by SlipperySlope

It's T-shirt time.

Meaning?

Posted by BAV

Hi, I have written here before, 2-3 years ago about the same Aqua girl. I am Taurus.

A little background: we know eachother for 5 years, co-workers. Friends (only at work) for a year and a half, then I diverced my ex wife, Aqua got interested, flirts for half a year, sex one time, then the madness started. She would dissapear, come back and so on. Rarely actually dated. Texted much. She had hurt me at times. This went for a year. I was in love with her, but couldnt do anything about it. She said she is not ready for a relationship, and that I am not ready myself (after my divorce). So 2 years ago I ended things, texting her everything that I felt for her and wished her all the best in life. In the meantime I am in another relationship, changed my life for good. Me and Aqua seldom talked at work, about work most of the time.

Until end of November. We were at the office, talking casual this time, about our lives, like 2 old friends. After that she started texting more and more, getting personal, flirting more. A month ago she drove me to the airport and things happened in her car (not sex, but not far from it). From that point on, things really changed to the point that we were talking daily, texting all the time, saying very personal secrets, saying all the time that she misses me, that she wants to see me. She has been very consistent with her feelings for a month. This is one thing that I asked her in the beggining.

I have told her about my new life since the beggining - my relationship and the fact that I live with my current girl and with her daughter at my place. Aqua was reluctant at first, of course, because she had other guys in the past in the same situation and things never worked out in her favour. But nontheless, she dived in. She would initiate the conversations most of the times, making efforts to see me, saying she is in love and then that she loves me. We had sex at her place a few times, spend 2 times almost 24h togheter. Everything was amazing. She would say sometimes that we are meant to be and that we should be togheter and that she doesnt want to continue like this, being the mistress.

Bear in mind that this happened between around December 12th, until 2 days ago - first week we were both in business trips, second week - Christmas, then she left for NYE with her daughter. Then another short vacation. Yesterday was her first day at actual work, a short business trip, a very intensive one. Yesterday was the first day that she was not as before, not so present and not so sentimental as before. Yes, I admit, I dont like it, just because I remembered her "dissapearences" from 2-3 years ago.

So, what do you think?

I'm upset that someone is cheating with a person that you just barely reconnected with, I've seen this already. She just wants you cause you're someone elses the moment you agree to being hers it's all gonna go downhill. You barely started talking again like a couple weeks ago. Leave the girl you're with, she doesn't deserve this.

Posted by Aquarelle

Posted by BAV

OK, so this is getting ridiculous. I feel like a jackass. Just 3 days ago she was saying she loves me a lot, told her that too and then boom, she is ghosting me. She "doesnt feel like going on a 2 days outing with me, at this moment". She doesnt feel like seeing me at all, she doesnt initiate any conversation, BUT she talks with me over the phone a lot, silly things, like what she did at home, what she is buying etc. Whenever I try to bring up a subject about us, she changes that. She is not sweet like a few days ago. And this is getting worse and worse.

I feel that there is no more respect for me or for my feelings. She is very egoistic.

One question: I am trying to find out from where this is coming from. So, a few ideas:

1. she is scared shitless of a relationship and does everything to sabotage it. She has told me she is scared a few times and thats why she runs away. She is scared of success. And probably now she finds all kind of stupid mistakes from my part to convince herself that this is not going to work out.

2. she is testing me to the limit to see if I go back to my ex. She said something about testing me a week ago.

3. she is bipolar. Told her that 3 days ago, as a joke. She took it rather serious and said she's not that bad, but not very far.

4. this is who she is really. And all that last couple of months were a joke.

I will ask her out to tell her that its not going to go like this and have closure. I bet she doesnt want to meet. So, I will text her. But I can not go on like this.

I think she friendzoned you without telling you. And you are WAY too much in your head about this. If she's not acting the way you want, there's nothing forcing you to stay. Its clearly draining you. Do whats best for you now.

click to expand

Problem solved. Texted her that I am missing how we were 2 weeks ago and that I want to see her and have fun, spoil ourselves etc. Proposed an hour and a place. She texted me 5 hours later, in a nice way though, that she can't, that she has put on high walls in order to get out of her situation (I dont know which one) and that its hard to explain and even harder to get it. So I replied that's fine, I am not judgemental, take care and we will talk.

So, its over for me, at least for the moment. Yes, you are right, I got carried away by all of this. It has been very, very intense in the beginning and when she backed away I panicked probably and it showed or she felt it. And that might been a turn off for her. She was very attracted 2 months ago about the fact that I was super grounded whatever she was doing at that moment. And now, that was gone from me. Anyway, no contact and we will see whats next.