Sorry! Its another dating question...

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by Aipotu on Wednesday, December 12, 2012 and has 36 replies.

First off, much love to all the aquas out there... without you, i wouldnt be here!

This querey is rather mundane, but i have to ask...I started some sort of fling with an aquaguy and its been only about two months, we wernt friends beforehand and we are both still trying to let our guards down and get to know eachother. But, just the other night when we were having a text conversation about a current problem he's having, in the middle of it he dosnt reply to my message. I thought it was kinda rude considering we dont know eachother all that well and i was being helpful, offering advice because i had been in a similar situation...anyway, i waited about 20 min then wrote good luck figuring it out and goodnight and he didnt reply to that either? First time he's done this...
Im confuzzeled?
This kind of behaviour can mean a number of things in the aqua realm right? Im just not sure if i should be offended, like is this some obvious sign that he isnt interested?? I guess what i want to know is if an aqua guy dose this, dose it mean that he's not interested? My bff is an aqua girl and she dose this too sometimes, but it dosnt bother me, because i know her well...but doing it to someone you dont know...ahh, i dont know..!
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I would say that it is to early to tell....
It is a good thing you have a friend who is a auqa....
In general anyone would say that is rude Aqua or not....
No reason to make excuses for people just because they fall under a curtain zodiac sign.... As a matter of fact it is one the signs of maturity in a Aquarius when they stop displaying this sort of behavior.... But I honestly can't you a concrete answer....
Maybe you should be thinking why is it that your friend who is Aquarius has done this to you before...
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No, we are really close, and i put it down to typical aqua aloofness. Plus she always follows up...but i just was not sure how to take it with this aqua guy. I did initially feel that it was a sign of immaturity, even though i dont get that impression from him when we are together. I guess that answers the question for now...i dont usually try to figure peole out based on their signs, i honestly beleive that we are not confined to our astrological influences, although it is intreiging... but because this is the early stages of somthing, im confused like most girls out there trying to understand an aqua guys mixed signals!
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The only time something like this means anything - is if you care if it means something... if that makes sense.
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@deezie
yeh...i get that..now i feel kinda stuupid for asking this question..lol
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No, don't feel stupid - it's a natural question if you are interested in him! I'm just saying - things only hold weight and value if we choose to affix weight and value to it.
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Also, people like texting because it allows them to bail the moment they don't feel like entertaining it anymore. No guilt, no repercussions - because they can just file it away as "Message: Read" and that maintains a certain level of "deal with".
Texting is evil as far as relationships are concerned. It just opens a whole bunch of crap. I'd say in the future, keep texting with men to a bare minimum (in the beginning stages of "dating").
[excuse my number of air-quote words, hahah smile]
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Well, my initial reaction was that it was rude, so i think i will stick with that untill i can communicate with him about it...the value will then be based on the feedback i suppose.
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"dealt with"
flooooood the aqua thread! Big Grin
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Confused
He got taken away by u.f.o's??
that sudden disappearance and silence?
your bff sounds like she needs someone to snap their fingers in their face and tell them to come back down to earth.
the future can wait.
smile but seriously, yes do that to your bff ALOT. especially if she's air dominant in her chart.
You need to just be patient and make noises.
as for the guy, have nothing. Sad
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yeh, thats true...i personally dont mind messaging, but it dose lack clarity...not the best form of communication in dating, i agree!
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hahah women LOVE texting. Guys love it for a whole different reason.
It takes a whole lot of the intimacy out of getting to know someone.
It's very unnatural.
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when i say bff, its more like soul sista...not see you every day bff (not used to internet idioms and tried that one out, ha!)so, i really dont have any hard feelings against her when she dose it, and its not often!... i think i have used her example only cos shes an aqua?!
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@deezie
so true...im learning...im actually not really into dating...i avoid intimacy in most cases, so this is kinda new to me!
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hahah fair enough - I'm somewhat the same way (despite some desires, it seems something is working against me).
Anyway - no judgement here. Simply trying to help from an experienced point of view smile
View texting as if you are trying to get to know someone communicating with only Post-It notes. lol
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Texting sure does make it easier to stay in touch all day long throughout the day because it makes it easier to keep up a dialogue cause you can respond when it is most convenient for you! That's why I like it! But on the other hand it sux sometimes when you really are trying to convey a message with emotion attached to it.... that takes some extra texting skill ^.< and in generally emotionally charged messages are just better left for voice conversations or in person.
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post-it notes that can bet blown away with the wind...perhaps that whats happened here, my messages dissapeared and he didnt get them, hehe
thanks for your advice smile
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Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Texting sure does make it easier to stay in touch all day long throughout the day because it makes it easier to keep up a dialogue cause you can respond when it is most convenient for you! That's why I like it! But on the other hand it sux sometimes when you really are trying to convey a message with emotion attached to it.... that takes some extra texting skill ^.
It totally does make it easier, but that's the catch22 of it. Easy things get taken for granted right?
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well jeez. How did I manage to screw up a one post quote. Awesome.
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Posted by deezie
well jeez. How did I manage to screw up a one post quote. Awesome.


haha I do that all the time!!!
Gotta watch what you erase in that html girl!! Tongue
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weird thing is... I don't recall erasing anything!
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Posted by Aipotu

No, we are really close, and i put it down to typical aqua aloofness. Plus she always follows up...but i just was not sure how to take it with this aqua guy. I did initially feel that it was a sign of immaturity, even though i dont get that impression from him when we are together. I guess that answers the question for now...i dont usually try to figure peole out based on their signs, i honestly beleive that we are not confined to our astrological influences, although it is intreiging... but because this is the early stages of somthing, im confused like most girls out there trying to understand an aqua guys mixed signals!


Do not help an Aqua, SHUT UP, Aqua males/males in general associate "helping" with being bossy and motherly, next time just encourage him to figure out his own problems, you can't be his woman--his lover and his mother, you can't be both, it won't work and you'll lose your lover trying to be his mother helper. Next time he comes to you with his problem/s encourage him to figure things out for himself and move on to talking about things that you can mutually do together, some men feel less attraction when they find a woman that's too nice (nice equals to being too motherly and motherly equals to being BORING and being boring equals to loss of attraction/penis doesn't rise for you), they don't know why, all they know is there penis just went limp and they associate that icky feeling WITH YOU thus you receive NOTHING--SILENCE, so in order for that to not happen you must know your place and your place isn't to provide help, he has a mother, let her do it, you be his lover.
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Posted by Aipotu
Well, my initial reaction was that it was rude, so i think i will stick with that untill i can communicate with him about it...the value will then be based on the feedback i suppose.


If you don't think it's rude when your friend does it, don't think it's rude when a guy does it. What I'm meaning is don't analyze it too much. Something could have come up to interrupt him and he didn't realize he left you hanging.
Sometimes my aqua will fall asleep when we're texting, but, I get a message in the middle of the night or early next morning explaining why he didn't respond. Of course, I mentioned to him one time that he left me hanging and made me feel vulnerable because of the subject of the text conversation. (if it were silly, small talk I wouldn't have thought twice about it). He hasn't let me feel that way since. Yay for him!!
I sometimes will be texting and the phone rings and I'll answer then not realize I didn't respond to their last text. Also, I typed up a text one time and didn't hit send and wondered why they just quit like that until I realized it was my fault! lol!
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^^ good advise ladies Big Grin
um tiki, woooheee, that shut up part scared me Tongue Tongue
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forgot to add, well, i like nice, and kindness, and all that stuff.
so, i dont believe it is specifically to a sign thing. It's a people thingy. smile
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Posted by lisabethur8
^^ good advise ladies Big Grin
um tiki, woooheee, that shut up part scared me Tongue Tongue



LOL Tough love, we women (not all but a lot of us) think/feel being friendly to a man will help him like/want us more, no it won't help, he'll take her for granted, clearly he's already doing that, that's why it's just better to keep it light and so he CAN KEEP it moving in her direction so if he's not talking about her, getting to know her, dating her, taking her out, planning with her then he ain't talking about nothing anyway buh bye, go cry to momma about your damn problems, I'm not a psychiatrist I'm your lover friend more than a person you're seeking help from, treat me like a lover or don't waste my time, yes that's the bitch in me but I've learned through helping other women with there relationship issues and a few of my own personal experiences is that being friendly, being a friend gets a woman friendzoned and ignored.
There are exceptions to the rules but most women are the rule and not the exception, a lot of women get displaced real quick just like this poster, now he's going to be in and out with her because of how he feels when he's connected with her, had she cut him off and said to him "I'm busy" "I'm bored" he'd be chasing her up and down, now he's lost his fire for pursuit which hopefully is temporary and will stay temporary if she change her behavior.
Do nothing, just let him come your way and next time don't allow him to lay his issues at your feet, WAIT for that part of the relationship which is much later down the road when he's committed himself to a real relationship with you.
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@tiki33
I get what your saying, but it not quite like that for me anyway...im not chasing him, ive been busy and declined his offers, and he has been busy..or even 'weary' as he has said recently and declined mine. Im friends with one of the guys associated with his problem which is about his sharehouse accomodation being evicted because of a party, so, i wasnt being his mother or phsychiatrist, i was really being myself, which is honest and thoughtful when it comes to other peoples problems...and well, in most cases im nice....maybe im being nice with this guy because he seems rather sensitive just from things he has told me, and i usually reciporicate vibes from people, not dominate to get a reaction. Im not saying i cant be a biatch, but, not unless its necessary or asked for Winking
Im certainly not gonna wait around because im nice, i think you got me wrong, im not a typical emotional woman, im just a little confused! And, i dont think i can be bothered trying to just entertain a guy for sex..
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@truecap
I totally get that too, im not that insecure that i need immediate responses from people or i think ive been rejected! My poor beautiful friend has been done a great injustice by my mentioning her random texting behaviour in this post..like i said, she always follows up..unlike this guy! So, that probably explains the difference between it being rude when he dose it and not rude when she dose it! I only associated the two becos they are aquas, and ive been reading about them just latly because im getting mixed signals with this guy.
For now, im gonna assume that somthing indeed did come up, that was much more important than texting with me, or it was the ufos like isabetha8 mentioned Tongue And, im just going to see if he say's anything about it...gees, i feel like ive waisted alot of time on this and its probaby really insignificant!
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If you're listening to his problems, helping him, giving him your full attention then that is part of chasing a man, women that have options don't sit up talking about a mans problems with him, real men know this, real men know if a woman is listening to his problems then she don't have a life and let's say you do have a busy, fun, full life well there is no way you would care about his problems and you sure wouldn't listen to his problems unless you were hoping that the relationship will evolve into something.
I'm not beating up on you, I'm just telling you why he ignored you, the behavior you displayed is a turn off, yes he may have seemed into the conversation but after some point a man will just drop you for being too nice which comes across as motherly.
Chill out on that kind of behavior and things will pick up for the both of you, you want to keep your lover and not lose him to the mothering energy. Be honest and thoughtful with your girl friends but with a man you want to be seen as his lover not his mother/psychiatrist, listen I get you, I too love to listen to peoples problems and help, I've learned through my own experience and my experience with helping/assisting women in there relationships that being the way you're being will get you taken for granted, ignoring you is the true sign that he's not interested in you in that way, men don't ignore women that they want to make love to, date and spend time with, if he dropped off in the middle of the conversation then he pretty much got what he needed (motherly energy) and now he can go play and have fun with someone else, that is what men do when they get what they need from mama, they go play some place else.
Women get your behavior, some men not so much, they feel you're being fake when you put your energy in them without them having earned that from you, they drop off on you like he did.
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*looks around* you better not be my pisces girl lol.
Don't take it as meaning anything. Like you said you feel like you guys are still in the process of letting your guard done. Aquas never truely do until they can fully trust you, infact I don't think they ever truely do for whatever stupid reason. Could just be me. I don't think it's rude at all.
And perhaps another explanation to tiki? sometimes I do fall asleep as well like trucaps guy. Then I forget til way later. Sometimes I never reply, sometimes I reply to say sorry but so and so came by, I got distracted or I fell asleep.
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ok, so to put it bluntly, i bored him...and i had no idea i was doing that! Im not gonna lie, i dont have much experience with dating, im more of a one night stand, short fling variety. I get that the motherly energy is a turn off, but i didnt feel like i was being overly concerned for him, i just gave him advice cos i had been in a similar situation. In the beggining, i was the one doing all the teasing and he didnt tease me back, he had more of a grumpy attitute and even said he was feeling anxious, but it was much more playull and open...then he seemed to pull back, but i knew that he really liked me cos a close friend of his mentioned it to my sister...i just didnt get the impression that he was simply in it for the fk, as when i usually have a fling with a guy those vibes are pretty clear and are reciporicated. Plus, he was a little reserved in the sack too...so comlexicated Tongue Im gonna chill now and leave it be, but honestly, my issue with dating is exactly that, if its just about the action then i can get that when i need it, but if its going to be a relashionship, i need to be able to be myself, and i cant help but care about people and relate to their problems/joys!
Thanks for you insight tiki!
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Thanks aquasnoz, i do think that the fact we are both letting our guards down has somthing to do with it. And if he fell asleep or got genuinly distracted i can live with that...will just have to see if its his general behaviour in which case, i wont be interested!
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During the woo/get to know him stage DON'T GIVE A MAN ANYTHING unless he's earned it and he's earned it by demonstrating to you he value your time and energy, the way he show you he's into you is by being present, I'm an Aquarius and if I'm not into a person I will not make an effort, I'll be friendly but I won't be the one initiating anything, we Aquas are either all in or halfway out, we can have a take it or leave it attitude and leave a person hanging if we don't value the person.
Men show you they place value on you by initiating and being present, doing things that imply he's putting his energy in you because your special to him and worth his time, if men/a man drop off on you its because you aren't a priority to him, he's taking you for granted by assuming you'll be there when he decides to show up again as if you don't have a life outside of him, who cares if he fell asleep, those are excuses lazy men make that don't want to put in effort because your not the girl of his dreams, men don't treat dream girls with apathy. We Aqua's can be weird in the romance department, be friendly with him but don't be his best friend/confidante, he will take you for granted.
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I used to give men whom I was interested in advice on their lives and careers. And I never got friend-zoned by them but I was placed on an unrealistic pedestal and I felt as though I was not allowed to be myself. I had to be this "Angel of Mercy and Light" all of the time. This especially held true for Aqua platonic male friends. They wanted to keep me hidden away from the Big Bad World.
Not a healthy situation. Listen to Tiki...she knows what she is talking about.
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Yeh thats good advice. I know the signs when a guy is interested, and i guess to a large degree my initial questions is answered, until prooven otherwise smile No reply was rude and most likly a sign that he isnt interested and dosnt value my time, in which case, thats cool, i will let it slide and move on with life! Gees, im about to go to nepal for a few months, so thats way more exciting than figuring out wether this guy likes me or not!
You certainly have a good insight into the dating game....i wish i could be bothered to play it Big Grin
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Posted by firewaterearthpiscesvenus
I used to give men whom I was interested in advice on their lives and careers. And I never got friend-zoned by them but I was placed on an unrealistic pedestal and I felt as though I was not allowed to be myself. I had to be this "Angel of Mercy and Light" all of the time. This especially held true for Aqua platonic male friends. They wanted to keep me hidden away from the Big Bad World.
Not a healthy situation. Listen to Tiki...she knows what she is talking about.


Yes I've done this to a few friends many moons ago, doesn't help the friendship at all, I've since learned how to temper that kind of behavior, we Aquas (not all Aquas of course) hold good friends in very high esteem, we see our friends as perfect or why else would we be bothered so I get what you are describing very well.
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