Space

I've been dating an Aqua for over 6 months and he's had moments of stress before, but this last two weeks I haven't seen him at all, which is unusual, normally I see him at least once a week. Work is totally f'ing him at the moment. I suppose my question is this; do I still text him every night like normal? Normally if I haven't heard from him I'll text him just to see how his day has been etc. But on Sunday we had a phone chat and he was really stressed (but to be fair, this is because he takes stuff on he doesn't have to by any means, it's his choice). I mentioned that I hadn't seen him for a couple of weeks and how weird that was (literally, just said, I hadn't seen him and how weird that was when we normally get together every weekend). He flipped a little bit and said I was selfish (which I'm sure some of you will agree with; I was just saying it was weird not seeing him on the weekend, I didn't mean anything negative about it at all). So, if an Aqua is stressed, do I just leave him to contact me or is it a comfort to hear off someone? I'm thinking the former ha ha!!

I think sometimes, my Taurean way of looking at a situation totally logically doesn't appeal to him! 🙂 I really meant nothing sinister, but he was SOOOOOO defensive it took me totally by surprise!

Fuck that...I would dump his ass LOL

But no seriously...Why must you chase him to have a relationship? His fingers aren't broke, just as quick as it takes you to send one text well it goes both ways, it doesn't take up that much time to THINK about you and send you a text so why isn't he doing his part? IMHO he's not making you a priority and for me that is a deal breaker.

Stop making excuses for him and look at things realistically, you are not a priority and maybe his relationship priorities are a bit off or maybe just non existent. If he can make time and take on things on that are important to him then he can make time for you too UNLESS you are not important to him then no he won't make time for you. You are not being selfish, you are reminding him that you exist, he's the one AVOIDING you by taking on bullshit he has no business taking on.

My suggestion...Stop initiating contact, Aqua's hate being/feeling ignored, let him go, he'll panic and be back once he see you are not going to chase him down to be in his own relationship.

I like to be left alone under pressure, I'm an Aqua I need space to THINK...I don't like being chased at all during stress, don't call, don't text, don't want to discuss my feelings unless I'm inviting you in to discuss and I don't like being nagged about what I'm not doing, so it's okay not to contact him, he'll be okay with that.

Thanks for your comments 🙂

I am getting a little bit fed up of him and his silences. I understand exactly where you're coming from aquadiesel and blueribbons, I don't think one text a night is excessive and I think sometimes he appreciates it. Not this time though, it feels like he's a bit fed up of me 'pestering' him.

I heard nothing from him last night. Am definitely not feeling like a priority at the moment for him, which is sad. We're supposed to be meeting this weekend but I'll have to see if that happens.

I read about this kind of behaviour a lot on the Aqua board, so at least I know I'm not alone lol

Every Aqua I know seems to be having a rough time of it at the moment.

I think this behaviour usually only exhibits when an Aqua doesn't see you as his priority. You mentioned that you two are just dating , meaning not in a commited relationship? If that is the case , then expect some more disappearing acts from him. Stress or not. They don't stay away from you long if they think you can be the one who provides support and "cuddle" them lots . I'm in the opposite situation. I'm currently on my own vacation but my Aqua husband expects to talk with me twice a day on Skype. If I don't talk to him then he sulks like a baby till I call him "selfish" because I expect to go on this vacation to rest, have some space and restore my health, not chit chat all the time. He actually looks sad in the beginning and said what sort of wife and husband do not spend lots of time together. However, he calmed down and agreed to give me some space after I explained everything clearly to him. I don't know if I behave like your Aqua in certain ways (I do have mars in Aqua) but I know that I do get abit defensive when someone is asking me why not spending certain time with him. I believe there are certain differences between Taurus and Aqua as well. You love routine and need it because it provides security and stability in relationship? Your Aqua on the other hand probably gets bored if things are the same all the time? This could be another reason explainning his irritabilty besides being busy or whatever reasons. I don't know if somehow you two can speak frankly about each one's expectations of the other? I think communication will solve things better than guessing what is going on.

lol yes we like space esp if we're stressed n busy. if u love him and do wana stay w/ him, give him it.

Thanks for all your replies 🙂

We are in a committed relationship, I just like to call it dating as we don't suit the term gf/bf - that sounds weird but I mean it in the nicest possible way, it's a compliment! We know we're bf/gf and other people know this, but it just sounds odd saying it.

I saw him on Saturday. I didn't say anything about his distance or act 'weird' or annoyed, becasue I wasn't, I was genuinely pleased to see him. He then spent 3 hours preparing a meal for us and brought me breakfast in bed the next day 🙂 before Saturday I did send him a text saying that I was here for him whenever he needed to sound off or anything else and he rang me later that evening after work and told me he really appreciated it.

I think sometimes we 'miss' each other, but we both seem pretty committed to trying to always understand each other and appreciating that a difference of opinion is not the end of the world (he says I'm the most opinonated girl he's been with...I'm taking it as a compliment ha ha!).

And I'm not sure if I'm in love with him yet...I have an enormous amount of love and respect for him and I can't imagine him not being in my life now in one way or another and we do spark off each other quite well (he's the creative one, I help to make the idea a reality). So I'm just enjoying it for what it is at the moment. Which can be hard with my Taurus need for stability sometimes, but luckily my Gem moon/Sag rising can see the bull-side off quite a bit 🙂