STD
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by VenusInVirgo on Sunday, January 20, 2008 and has 7 replies.
sorry for the long post, i know it has nothing to do with Aqua, just that i have been reading this forum for quite some time after the breakup with my aqua. You people are insightful and has helped alot, unusualcancer, Lady M, leokitten, p-Angel, spachtel... just to name a few. Thanks! for helping me see what i didn't, with my own aqua issue
thanks bijou!
trust me i wanted to give her all my support. went to the doc with her, read on the internet, spent loads of time with her and even felt depressed for her then. but the attention from that guy is probably more effective in lifting her mood. lol. no i'm not jealous, just want to know that i didn't support her in the wrong way.
if he gave up his other relationship and marriage plan then i would call him "the one guy who knows and accepts what she's going through". As far as i know, he only avoided talking about it and is probably still going ahead with the wedding. I can't help but to think that he wants the best of both world, and is taking advantage of my friend.
I have thought of it too, the fact that she may be afraid there won't be any more guys...
trust me i wanted to give her all my support. went to the doc with her, read on the internet, spent loads of time with her and even felt depressed for her then. but the attention from that guy is probably more effective in lifting her mood. lol. no i'm not jealous, just want to know that i didn't support her in the wrong way.
if he gave up his other relationship and marriage plan then i would call him "the one guy who knows and accepts what she's going through". As far as i know, he only avoided talking about it and is probably still going ahead with the wedding. I can't help but to think that he wants the best of both world, and is taking advantage of my friend.
I have thought of it too, the fact that she may be afraid there won't be any more guys...
shame, herpes has no cure too.
I think she was dumb to jump in this type of relationship in the first place (having had only one other partner in her life)...and NO he wont give up his marriage.
I think she was dumb to jump in this type of relationship in the first place (having had only one other partner in her life)...and NO he wont give up his marriage.
i know, but i'm not judging her for that. I think so too that the guy is not going to give up his marriage, btw he's a libra. I hope i was wrong. I can't talk to her about relationship anymore, as i can't stand talking about this guy whom i think is totally taking advantage of her, and it does affect our friendship. I posted hoping i get other opinions that make me think or behave otherwise... 
You have to understand that the position you put your friend in though bijou.
I tried to be the friend who was supportive (in the way your guy friend was) and sat back and watched a train wreck. I dont know if I was helpful or harmful and I still struggle with that today. Granted there waws a lot of information my friend was leaving out I have good intuition or maybe I just observe myt surroundings pretty well...but I knew nothing good could come of it, but I wanted to be a good friend...
I tried to be the friend who was supportive (in the way your guy friend was) and sat back and watched a train wreck. I dont know if I was helpful or harmful and I still struggle with that today. Granted there waws a lot of information my friend was leaving out I have good intuition or maybe I just observe myt surroundings pretty well...but I knew nothing good could come of it, but I wanted to be a good friend...
I don't want her to feel bad about herself, that she has been judged for her choice, but how can I give my support on something i don't believe? I've chosen to give her more space, I figured if i had nothing nice to say then i might as well shut up. I didn't tell her straight up not to talk about relationship with me, but my reaction is saying. And to be fair, or so that we don't start on that topic, i stop talking about my relationship issue too. I'm not sure if thats the best thing to do...
people make poor choices. advice from friends, from people who care rarely impacts the decision making. The best way for you to be friends with this girl (who is making poor choices and is bound to hurt herself) is to support her. I don't mean that you have to agree with her or make her feel she is doing things right. You can be her friend without providing support. I know this is difficult. I have a friend who is with a man who beats her, and for a very long time I couldn't speak to her because I was so against her life style . Now, I feel I understand that she just needs someone who loves her unconditionally without judging because she has enough of that. When she brings it up, her abuse-his infractions- I always tell her how I feel but under no circumstances do I make her feel I won't love her because of that.
People who make bad choices over and over need love, strong love. Your friend now has a disease she will have to live with for the rest of her life, she must suffer these consequences. Simply, she is suffering much more than you ever will because of this. If you love and care for her (obviously you do, a great deal) then just be there for her. That doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your values/beliefs or opinions for her. Support, that's all....
People who make bad choices over and over need love, strong love. Your friend now has a disease she will have to live with for the rest of her life, she must suffer these consequences. Simply, she is suffering much more than you ever will because of this. If you love and care for her (obviously you do, a great deal) then just be there for her. That doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your values/beliefs or opinions for her. Support, that's all....
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