The aqua conundrum.
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by ladygem28 on Monday, August 4, 2014 and has 27 replies.
I need a bit of advice
So I started a new job about two months ago, and I work with this amazing Aquarius man. Normally Aquarius are better friends for me than partners (I tend to think they are big babies, and not really strong enough to handle me) But this man! oh my goodness! We have pretty much everything in common, he handles my teases, and throws them right back, he makes me feel real safe which is very important to me, and never makes fun of me for not being able to do something that well, or fast (good lord I can be slow lol) but instead he encourages me and reminds me that everything will be okay.
I've spent the night at his house a few times. He gets a toothbrush all ready for me, get a bed all set up, makes me drink water (after drinking some.) and wakes me up with coffee in the morning! I also notice that one time I briefly mentioned that guys are supposed to walk on the outside of the street, and the history of that is that people used to fling poop out of their windows, and a man would protect a lady from that. I was just sharing a bit of knowledge and now every time we're walking, he always makes sure to be on the outside. He pays for things, even though I like to pay for things, and treats me like he likes me very much. I mean sometimes, he gets realllll close to me, so close we could kiss. *shiver* The biggest plus about him, is that he really realizes the constant comments I get from people telling me I'm beautiful, and how I should be a model, but how no one tries to get to know who I am, before making this comment. he hasn't once called me beautiful. Although I know he thinks I am, he focuses on my mind, which is such a huge thing for me.
Now to the problematic part of this situation! He has a girlfriend who lives around the world. I know he cares about her, they've been together for about 6 months. I make sure to not cross too many boundaries (as much as I can help myself) he facetimes her and such but I don't really know where that's going, and I don't know if I should ask.
my question, is what should I do? I'm not really a second place type of lady, especially when I know what I want. but I'm also not the type to put pressure on a situation that I'd like to happen naturally. I am not good at being in limbo though, at all. Should I tell him I like him, while saying, I like how things are, and I'm not trying to make you do anything you aren't ready to do, but I LIKE YOU, and we could be an AMAZING team.
what to do
So I started a new job about two months ago, and I work with this amazing Aquarius man. Normally Aquarius are better friends for me than partners (I tend to think they are big babies, and not really strong enough to handle me) But this man! oh my goodness! We have pretty much everything in common, he handles my teases, and throws them right back, he makes me feel real safe which is very important to me, and never makes fun of me for not being able to do something that well, or fast (good lord I can be slow lol) but instead he encourages me and reminds me that everything will be okay.
I've spent the night at his house a few times. He gets a toothbrush all ready for me, get a bed all set up, makes me drink water (after drinking some.) and wakes me up with coffee in the morning! I also notice that one time I briefly mentioned that guys are supposed to walk on the outside of the street, and the history of that is that people used to fling poop out of their windows, and a man would protect a lady from that. I was just sharing a bit of knowledge and now every time we're walking, he always makes sure to be on the outside. He pays for things, even though I like to pay for things, and treats me like he likes me very much. I mean sometimes, he gets realllll close to me, so close we could kiss. *shiver* The biggest plus about him, is that he really realizes the constant comments I get from people telling me I'm beautiful, and how I should be a model, but how no one tries to get to know who I am, before making this comment. he hasn't once called me beautiful. Although I know he thinks I am, he focuses on my mind, which is such a huge thing for me.
Now to the problematic part of this situation! He has a girlfriend who lives around the world. I know he cares about her, they've been together for about 6 months. I make sure to not cross too many boundaries (as much as I can help myself) he facetimes her and such but I don't really know where that's going, and I don't know if I should ask.
my question, is what should I do? I'm not really a second place type of lady, especially when I know what I want. but I'm also not the type to put pressure on a situation that I'd like to happen naturally. I am not good at being in limbo though, at all. Should I tell him I like him, while saying, I like how things are, and I'm not trying to make you do anything you aren't ready to do, but I LIKE YOU, and we could be an AMAZING team.
what to do
Just a tid bit of history, it was before plumbing lol
^ I also want to know!
I will ask what your job is because I can relate to this and you'll either like my answer or won't like my answer. There's a few things clicking in place like sleeping over, walking together, work and looking out for you.
I will ask what your job is because I can relate to this and you'll either like my answer or won't like my answer. There's a few things clicking in place like sleeping over, walking together, work and looking out for you.
I mean, we didn't have plumbing and we had to do something w/ the poop lol so people had to toss it on the street. many people living above others or businesses, they ended up throwing it out the window onto the street for pick up. so men were to walk on the outside of the street. . . we work at hawaiian restaurant. I mean I just want to know the best way to go about this, good or bad!
Why are you spending the night at his house?
The best way? Time.
I only say that because you don't seem like the initiator and fear unwanted outcomes. Or you can choose to confess your feelings.
The good? Well... duh
The bad? He doesn't like you that way but stays friends to torments you
The worst? He cuts you off
The bad and worst is is subjective and relative to time and understanding.
I only say that because you don't seem like the initiator and fear unwanted outcomes. Or you can choose to confess your feelings.
The good? Well... duh
The bad? He doesn't like you that way but stays friends to torments you
The worst? He cuts you off
The bad and worst is is subjective and relative to time and understanding.
Posted by truecap
Why are you spending the night at his house?
I'm guessing night shifts. I use to live very close to work and I'd let them in like stray cats! I kid I kid because I love my coworkers and I can't leave them out in the cold
Also there's a strange ritual that we perform after work and it's called beeeeer!Even when intoxicated, I feel it's much safer to have them back at my place and go back home in the morning.
He's lining you up in case the other one doesn't work out? Could be. I've seen it happen with an aqua friend.
I'm sure he likes her but he does have a girlfriend.
Aquanoz is right, beer. I don't drive and after 12 the buses don't run and he lives close, also if it's not 12 he just invites me over and then we stay up talking and walla it's past 12. Hah
I want to ask about the girlfriend but wouldn't that give it away about how I feel? Although I'm pretty sure he knows because I can feel him looking at me and reading my mind lol.
I don't want to be cut off! Even if he doesn't like me, I still want to be great friends!
Lining me up? It doesn't seem like that to me at all. It seems more of a connection we both cannot deny but I could be wrong.
Not sure his moon sign but he was born feb. 10 1992 you tell me? Lol
I want to ask about the girlfriend but wouldn't that give it away about how I feel? Although I'm pretty sure he knows because I can feel him looking at me and reading my mind lol.
I don't want to be cut off! Even if he doesn't like me, I still want to be great friends!
Lining me up? It doesn't seem like that to me at all. It seems more of a connection we both cannot deny but I could be wrong.
Not sure his moon sign but he was born feb. 10 1992 you tell me? Lol
He could be lining you up. That's more of a discussion on morality whether you think it's worth it to chase after what you want vs accepting he is spoken for. I'm not saying it like it's black and white but if it were me I would've stopped myself from getting to that point. From past experiences.
Sure he'll figure out intentions of your questions but it's out of your control in terms of his behaviour. If you can truly believe none of the friendship had to do with your attraction or you can happily let go of that attraction if things don't go your way then there's really no loss in asking.
Btw he's a very earthy Aqua. Taurus moon, Cap Venus/Mars... aaaand I forgot the rest I closed the window.
Sure he'll figure out intentions of your questions but it's out of your control in terms of his behaviour. If you can truly believe none of the friendship had to do with your attraction or you can happily let go of that attraction if things don't go your way then there's really no loss in asking.
Btw he's a very earthy Aqua. Taurus moon, Cap Venus/Mars... aaaand I forgot the rest I closed the window.
Posted by ladygem28
Aquanoz is right, beer. I don't drive and after 12 the buses don't run and he lives close, also if it's not 12 he just invites me over and then we stay up talking and walla it's past 12. Hah
I want to ask about the girlfriend but wouldn't that give it away about how I feel? Although I'm pretty sure he knows because I can feel him looking at me and reading my mind lol.
I don't want to be cut off! Even if he doesn't like me, I still want to be great friends!
Lining me up? It doesn't seem like that to me at all. It seems more of a connection we both cannot deny but I could be wrong.
Not sure his moon sign but he was born feb. 10 1992 you tell me? Lol
A connection you both can't deny? That's what you prefer to call it, fine. So he has a girlfriend and he has a connection with you. So what's the problem? You both know this so why not discuss the girlfriend? He's not going to bring it up because you aren't.
Does his girlfriend know about you?
so lining me up. what's that mean to an aqua? I'm not a back up plan type of chick. I certainly didn't intend for it to get flirty, but OH the chemistry.
So he's earthy, again what does that mean for an aqua.
I could be his friend, if he made it clear that's what he wanted. He's a great guy and we have tons in common regardless of any romantic connection.
This is making me realize that I'm way too used to getting the guys I want without much work
oh to be a gemini.
So he's earthy, again what does that mean for an aqua.
I could be his friend, if he made it clear that's what he wanted. He's a great guy and we have tons in common regardless of any romantic connection.
This is making me realize that I'm way too used to getting the guys I want without much work
oh to be a gemini.
I'm not used to having to bring these types of things up. Guess I'll have to though! what do I say?
Lol ^
There you go, that's the spirit... So single guys aren't a problem!
There you go, that's the spirit... So single guys aren't a problem!
He's taken. He has a girlfriend. Leave him alone!!
Geesh! What kind of woman are you?!?!
*smh*
Besides, cap venus is very loyal and they take relationships seriously. So, you probably don't have a chance anyway.
Geesh! What kind of woman are you?!?!
*smh*
Besides, cap venus is very loyal and they take relationships seriously. So, you probably don't have a chance anyway.
oh shut up. if you want to hate on me go ahead, or you can not respond but dont go trying to insult me! either comment with advice, but dont try to judge me. I'm still gonna do what I want and you're still wasting your time. 
@ trucap
@ trucapI wish I could give you insight into an Earthy Aqua. But unfortunately I'm rather Watery so our similarities end there.
Whereas others might chime in and say watery folks are chronic cheaters, they'll usually defend earthy influences as being loyal. Either way you look at it it's a recipe for disaster. Take it for what you want but if you need to ask what you should do then the answer is usually three of the following.
1. Ask and burn bridges
2. Ask and be granted your wish
3. Stay silent
Take your pick there's no wrong choices. Not in your world anyway. I would consider truecap and apc's advice though. Things that you force tend to come around and bite you in some way.
Whereas others might chime in and say watery folks are chronic cheaters, they'll usually defend earthy influences as being loyal. Either way you look at it it's a recipe for disaster. Take it for what you want but if you need to ask what you should do then the answer is usually three of the following.
1. Ask and burn bridges
2. Ask and be granted your wish
3. Stay silent
Take your pick there's no wrong choices. Not in your world anyway. I would consider truecap and apc's advice though. Things that you force tend to come around and bite you in some way.
Posted by ladygem28
oh shut up. if you want to hate on me go ahead, or you can not respond but dont go trying to insult me! either comment with advice, but dont try to judge me. I'm still gonna do what I want and you're still wasting your time.
Not hating. That is my advice. Leave him alone. Respect his relationship. Otherwise, he's going to resent you for coming between them. Besides, if he cheats on her with you, he'll cheat on you with someone else. History repeats itself. Would you really want to be with a cheater, constantly wondering if he's entertaining someone else while he's with you?
Study up on cap venus. They are loyal and responsible in love. They expect their partner to be upstanding members of society, someone they can take out in public and be proud of. Do you really think he's going to respect you if you sleep with him, knowing he has a girlfriend. Showing him via your actions that you have no self respect? If you don't respect yourself, why should he?
I'm not saying this to insult you. Just trying to show you another perspective.
Whether you heed my advice, or shove it aside because you don't want to hear it, that is definitely your perogative. I felt like it needed to be said and offered to you as an alternative point of view.
If he breaks up with her and wants to be with you, then you have my blessing. Just wait until he ends his current relationship before you make your move.
I'm not wanting to come in between them and I'm not looking to force anything, I'm looking to figure out if I should continue liking him or if I should drop it completely. Being his friend is most important but I feel how I feel if there's no chance with him then I can get over that.
I just don't know how to go about this with an aqua man because like I said I normally don't like them.
If he wants to be friends I don't want to make it awkward and I just want to be friends, but he wants to be more but feels obligation or whatever, cool. I'm not looking to make anything happen I'm just looking to know what the hell is going on!
But don't ask me what type of woman I am when clearly you were assuming I was trying to steal him. You get feelings for who you get feelings for. I can't help that there is chemistry. I can help breaking two people up, and that's not my plan at all.
So if you'd like to stop thinking the worst and give me advice great! I just don't want to ruin a great friendship but I can't be in limbo at all! It's uncomfortable for me.
I just don't know how to go about this with an aqua man because like I said I normally don't like them.
If he wants to be friends I don't want to make it awkward and I just want to be friends, but he wants to be more but feels obligation or whatever, cool. I'm not looking to make anything happen I'm just looking to know what the hell is going on!
But don't ask me what type of woman I am when clearly you were assuming I was trying to steal him. You get feelings for who you get feelings for. I can't help that there is chemistry. I can help breaking two people up, and that's not my plan at all.
So if you'd like to stop thinking the worst and give me advice great! I just don't want to ruin a great friendship but I can't be in limbo at all! It's uncomfortable for me.
I did give you advice. Sorry you only saw it as negative and not as advice. In the beginning the way you presented was you wanted to be with him and didn't care if he had a girlfriend or not and if he were interested you would either be willing to be the side chick or wouldn't mind breaking them up. Perhaps I misread your intentions.
Work on the friendship. Build it. Nurture it. Forget about romancing him. If they break up of their own accord, give him some time to bounce back, then go for it. Aquas like relationships with people they have a friendship with and people they respect.
So my advice - be friends. Aquas make the bestest of best friends. Besides, uou never know what the future holds.
Work on the friendship. Build it. Nurture it. Forget about romancing him. If they break up of their own accord, give him some time to bounce back, then go for it. Aquas like relationships with people they have a friendship with and people they respect.
So my advice - be friends. Aquas make the bestest of best friends. Besides, uou never know what the future holds.
ladygem. You are a prospect for him. Keep him in good graces and go on about your life. Prospect is good. Im still in touch with my aqua prospects and im so glad we still communicate. DO NOT fall in love with him. He may break up with other girl before you know it. But you dont want to come between them...not for her, for you.
trucap... I do get excited, and maybe I didn't state my case clearly enough. You did give advice, pretty good advice at that. but remember, judging won't get you much of anywhere with anyone.
I'm not looking to romance him, I just feel how I feel. friend is a good idea, I mean like I said, being friend is most important to me because he's one great friend! I guess it confuses me because we get on like we've been friends, for years.. friends who love each other (I don't mean romantically) and so it doesn't help with the feelings I actually have. haha.
I'm not looking to romance him, I just feel how I feel. friend is a good idea, I mean like I said, being friend is most important to me because he's one great friend! I guess it confuses me because we get on like we've been friends, for years.. friends who love each other (I don't mean romantically) and so it doesn't help with the feelings I actually have. haha.
aqualover07- first off, what a name haha You're right. . . . all of you are right really. Keep my feelings secret (he can read my mind anyway, it's weird.) and just be friends! it's way more important to me anyway, and I don't want to be some girl who breaks up some other couple just so I can get what I want, when what I want tends to change, often. haha
Thanks everyone!
You're right. . . . all of you are right really. Keep my feelings secret (he can read my mind anyway, it's weird.) and just be friends! it's way more important to me anyway, and I don't want to be some girl who breaks up some other couple just so I can get what I want, when what I want tends to change, often. hahaThanks everyone!
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