The Do you love me? Test

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by AquaLady on Wednesday, March 13, 2013 and has 26 replies.
I spent some quality time over my aqua guy's place these last two nights Mon & Tue. Last night during an intense love making session he totally catches me off guard and asks "Are you my girl?" followed by "Do you love me?" O_o...
Needless to say since I am an Aquarius as well it freaked me out & I completely ignored him and diverted his attention with kisses. We're about 6 months in and I hadn??t planned on having either of those discussions until the 1 yr. mark, although he knows I care a great deal for him.
Part of me is intrigued that these things are on his mind. However, the cynical side of me says this might be a test to see if I??m going to turn into a relationship seeking suitor. I know the opportunity to have a dialogue about this will arise again but I'm curious to know what a guy could be thinking.
Have any of you asked someone if they loved you before espressing your love to them? Was it a trick/trap/test? Is it even fair to ask that question?
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My aqua ex asked me quite often how I felt about him and did ask if I loved him before I had initially said anything. Also, he was more into verbalizing his feelings than showing them. I chalked it up to him being eager to 'claim' me (even though we were in a relationship at that point). He was pretty possessive of me, but in a good way, not an interfering one. He didn't wait 6 months, though! Honestly, 6 months might be kind of long for some people without verbal clarity about how you feel, so maybe he's getting a bit impatient, too? I don't know, though - I'm not him! Just talk it over with him. : )
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Posted by seraph
Posted by AquaLady

Have any of you asked someone if they loved you before espressing your love to them? Was it a trick/trap/test? Is it even fair to ask that question?



Is this an Aqua thing?
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I can't speak for all....
I'm Aquarius and this aint my thang.
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^ not my thing either but I would ask the same question.
May I suggest perhaps he just doesn't want to say those words up front because he feels you don't feel the same way? You chose your words very carefully because intrigued doesn't suggest you do like him in that sense so to which I agree with Seraph.
I mean asking if this is a test and asking if these are 'traps' or 'tricks'? Does it matter if it is? Why don't you ask yourself what you want out of this arrangement you have with him. Yes I'm calling it that because it doesn't sound to me like you have any other feelings for him.
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Also may I suggest this: (taking my perspective) He's asking as forms of validation:
1. If he does love you he's trying to find out if it's mutual. Simple as that and no tricks or traps.
2. He doesn't love you and wants to make sure you're on the same page otherwise he'll pull away and ask other people if he just trapped himself with you.
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@ Seraph We agreed to be exclusive in the beginning, we just haven't discussed titles. This six months have gone by so fast and have been so great that there just hasn't been the need to talk about the relationship formally...I've just been enjoying it and I'm in no rush. However, I do feel like I am his girl, I love him very much and do believe he loves me as well.
My confusion comes in bc he's an aqua male. With the emotional detachment, fear of commitment, & tendency to avoid discussing feelings, I did not expect he'd be the one to bring it up or even be thinking about these things.
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Why does it take an aqua so long to say I love you? And what is the point of holding that back from someone you do love?
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Posted by truecap
Why does it take an aqua so long to say I love you? And what is the point of holding that back from someone you do love?



Simple....they are scared of commitments but hate being alone. But I can say they are the loyal ones of all the zodiac so long wait well worth at the end lady.
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I agree, but it is frustrating and tough on their partners.
*smh*
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Posted by truecap
I agree, but it is frustrating and tough on their partners.
*smh*


There is a hell load of work for people on your sign to keep Aqua's mind stimulated. Just talk talk talk BUT not about your clothes or shoes, i mean stimulate his mind with intellectual talk and if he is close enough tell him about kinky stuffs you gona do to him in bed, he will be all yours then. Stimulate his mind, then he gona blow u up in bed.
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Posted by truecap
Why does it take an aqua so long to say I love you? And what is the point of holding that back from someone you do love?



Simple: either we don't love you so we won't say it. Or we don't feel like it will be the case for you too and we're absolutely phobic about rejection. Yes it might be irrational. If you've already said it yourself and an aqua doesn't respond it's probably because he isn't sure about his feelings and is still trying to figure them out. Saying it when you're not entirely sure would feel like telling a lie, and we hate that.
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Posted by aquasnoz
^ not my thing either but I would ask the same question.
May I suggest perhaps he just doesn't want to say those words up front because he feels you don't feel the same way? You chose your words very carefully because intrigued doesn't suggest you do like him in that sense so to which I agree with Seraph.
I mean asking if this is a test and asking if these are 'traps' or 'tricks'? Does it matter if it is? Why don't you ask yourself what you want out of this arrangement you have with him. Yes I'm calling it that because it doesn't sound to me like you have any other feelings for him.



Why would you ask this question? Would you ask before telling your significant other you loved them first?
It really does matter bc I feel like it shows his motives. Guys don't typically ask these questions. They'll tell you "I want you to be my girl" or "I love you" but the way he asked seem like he was confused about things or possibly wanting me to solidify 'us' verbally.

Posted by aquasnoz
Also may I suggest this: (taking my perspective) He's asking as forms of validation:
1. If he does love you he's trying to find out if it's mutual. Simple as that and no tricks or traps.
2. He doesn't love you and wants to make sure you're on the same page otherwise he'll pull away and ask other people if he just trapped himself with you.
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The cynical side of me says something similar to #2 could be possible...this is what I mean by test trick or trap. Although, I do believe he does love me. It's just my fear of things not being mututal that scares me. I could think things were perfect and in the end be totally mislead by my own imagination.
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Posted by geminidude
Posted by truecap
I agree, but it is frustrating and tough on their partners.
*smh*


There is a hell load of work for people on your sign to keep Aqua's mind stimulated. Just talk talk talk BUT not about your clothes or shoes, i mean stimulate his mind with intellectual talk and if he is close enough tell him about kinky stuffs you gona do to him in bed, he will be all yours then. Stimulate his mind, then he gona blow u up in bed.
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Lol!! We've been together for a year!
I'll mention something like that and he never expects it, even after all this time. Love to see the surprise wash across his face!
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Posted by Galyn
Posted by truecap
Why does it take an aqua so long to say I love you? And what is the point of holding that back from someone you do love?



Simple: either we don't love you so we won't say it. Or we don't feel like it will be the case for you too and we're absolutely phobic about rejection. Yes it might be irrational. If you've already said it yourself and an aqua doesn't respond it's probably because he isn't sure about his feelings and is still trying to figure them out. Saying it when you're not entirely sure would feel like telling a lie, and we hate that.
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Thank you for explaining!
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Posted by geminidude
Posted by truecap
I agree, but it is frustrating and tough on their partners.
*smh*


There is a hell load of work for people on your sign to keep Aqua's mind stimulated. Just talk talk talk BUT not about your clothes or shoes, i mean stimulate his mind with intellectual talk and if he is close enough tell him about kinky stuffs you gona do to him in bed, he will be all yours then. Stimulate his mind, then he gona blow u up in bed.
click to expand


True, all this would definitely work on me. You know how aquas work!
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Posted by truecap
I agree, but it is frustrating and tough on their partners.
*smh*


Aww...Truecap don't be frustrated Sad
It can be easy if you look at it like this... A person is mute. It isnt their choice that they were born a way in which they cannot communicate to average people. The frustration of others when interacting with this person is noticeable & very hurtful...to the point some will remove themselves from those situations(detach) to avoid causing so much hurt. However, most will eventually find ppl who understand their language (sign) and accept them for who they are.
Aquarius is mute when it comes to matters of the heart. Although we cannot say it, we definitely show it through signs. Since so many fail at it, if you can learn our language you are considered a treasure. That is why once we genuinely feel accepted & loved, we in turn love like you wouldn't believe.
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Thank you. I hope I didn't derail your thread. I apologize if you felt I did.
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Posted by rachelsnow12
Geminidude: "Simple....they are scared of commitments but hate being alone. But I can say they are the loyal ones of all the zodiac so long wait well worth at the end lady."
This is so very very true!!!!


See not everyone cant read an average Aqua how about an intellectual one then? But a Geminidude can see through them wooohahahaha.
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True... I know they are the catch of the zodiac.... That's why I'm extending my patience.
@ Geminidude: I don't know if you're the only one. I can see through him - well, see the defense mechanisms anyway. (maybe its the scorp rising). I keep mine thinking and on his toes. He never quite knows what I'm going to say. I can tell I surprise him a lot. Then I can tell when he doesn't know how to respond. hee!hee!
I can go from serious....to silly.... to prim and proper.....to raunchy....etc....in 2.5 seconds. Always changing. Unpredictable, despite my sign.
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I had a similar thing a while back via messages. I txted my Aqua saying 'I miss you..thinking about you'. he replied with 'do you love me?'
I was finding it odd that the time why did he just ask me that.. I replied saying ' no I care about you a lot.?? His response to that was 'k'
Now I wonder that what if I said YES!! I love you?? what would he have done? Was it a test? mind games? would he do the disappearing act on me? Would he say I miss you and love you too? Hmmmm curious now lol..
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Posted by Angeleyes17
I had a similar thing a while back via messages. I txted my Aqua saying 'I miss you..thinking about you'. he replied with 'do you love me?'
I was finding it odd that the time why did he just ask me that.. I replied saying ' no I care about you a lot.?? His response to that was 'k'
Now I wonder that what if I said YES!! I love you?? what would he have done? Was it a test? mind games? would he do the disappearing act on me? Would he say I miss you and love you too? Hmmmm curious now lol..



Dont play mind games sweetheart, be straight forward. Just let him know you got feelings towards him but you want to discuss with him and take it slow, then he wont disappear. He just sits with you and start discussing about it. Never push him.
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@AquaLady: Sorry too lazy to quote Tongue
I meant asking the same question as in asking what Seraph was asking. I know I'm terrible at writing I'm sorry! It comes down to a decision because you know us Aquas can dissect a situation into million pieces, I'd be thankful of my watery moon so perhaps ask yourself if you FEEL it is genuine. If you can't then the logical choice a) ask and find out b) don't ask and keep thinking on it.
@Angeleyes: If it counts I will always choose to say the truth but I've learnt if it's sensitive there's no point for the whole truth Winking
Should try answering "I do care for you a lot" lol but ah well I don't really throw the love word around.
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Posted by geminidude
Posted by Angeleyes17
I had a similar thing a while back via messages. I txted my Aqua saying 'I miss you..thinking about you'. he replied with 'do you love me?'
I was finding it odd that the time why did he just ask me that.. I replied saying ' no I care about you a lot.?? His response to that was 'k'
Now I wonder that what if I said YES!! I love you?? what would he have done? Was it a test? mind games? would he do the disappearing act on me? Would he say I miss you and love you too? Hmmmm curious now lol..



Dont play mind games sweetheart, be straight forward. Just let him know you got feelings towards him but you want to discuss with him and take it slow, then he wont disappear. He just sits with you and start discussing about it. Never push him.
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Yeh id never want to push a guys buttons. I dnt like these mind games stuff either but it just seems like you have to, to get an answer or just some kind of reaction. lol
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Posted by aquasnoz
@AquaLady: Sorry too lazy to quote Tongue
I meant asking the same question as in asking what Seraph was asking. I know I'm terrible at writing I'm sorry! It comes down to a decision because you know us Aquas can dissect a situation into million pieces, I'd be thankful of my watery moon so perhaps ask yourself if you FEEL it is genuine. If you can't then the logical choice a) ask and find out b) don't ask and keep thinking on it.
@Angeleyes: If it counts I will always choose to say the truth but I've learnt if it's sensitive there's no point for the whole truth Winking
Should try answering "I do care for you a lot" lol but ah well I don't really throw the love word around.


yeh Ive nevr used the love word and throw that around, and he knows that.. When i did ask him why hes asking.. it responsed that 'it seems like you always think about me..' I think that put me on the spot i guess.. but obv now with the whole Valintines thing that happend, seems like he got the message now and hes doing the dissapearing act on me again..
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Posted by Angeleyes17
Posted by geminidude
Posted by Angeleyes17
I had a similar thing a while back via messages. I txted my Aqua saying 'I miss you..thinking about you'. he replied with 'do you love me?'
I was finding it odd that the time why did he just ask me that.. I replied saying ' no I care about you a lot.?? His response to that was 'k'
Now I wonder that what if I said YES!! I love you?? what would he have done? Was it a test? mind games? would he do the disappearing act on me? Would he say I miss you and love you too? Hmmmm curious now lol..



Dont play mind games sweetheart, be straight forward. Just let him know you got feelings towards him but you want to discuss with him and take it slow, then he wont disappear. He just sits with you and start discussing about it. Never push him.


Yeh id never want to push a guys buttons. I dnt like these mind games stuff either but it just seems like you have to, to get an answer or just some kind of reaction. lol

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To get an answer from him you dont have to say you love him nor you dont. Its better to discuss these things keeping an eye to eye contact rather by text. Its a bit of work but its well worth if you really want him, take him to a coffee shop for a casual chat and in between just tell him you got feelings towards him and you want to take it slow, then you will hear what exactly going through his mind, there is no mind games involved in this. You dont have to say "no I care about you a lot" because he dont give a shit, he is Aqua, he knows very well he will survive alone. Do you really love him or are you confused?
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geminidude,
I havent said I LOVE YOU to his face. Just seems like deep down I already know he doesnt back. I dnt think i can handle the rejection coz saying those words would mean alot and getting a crap response back would only just hurt.. I'm moving on from him anyways. If he starts to chat to me again, all good but im not going to chase him around. smile
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