The many test of aquas before they let you in
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by erd1983 on Friday, September 6, 2013 and has 22 replies.
What is it that I have to do to get past that grey area ... When it comes to my aqua girl I've been dating .... Yes I'm a virgo and a girl do I already have two strikes against me ... As I sit here waiting patiently opening myself to the mystery of who this girl is I know that I for one can't get enough... I'm forever chasing and I'm seriously drained ... The games and although I feel like she lying I still wait ... Why is it so hard for her to say wat is she wants... Anyway anytime you txt me saying that you been telling people we are together bc they assume we are and that your doing this to piss your ex off is really random .. My dear aqua please explain this virgo is doing shit out of the norm... Why do I have to go through so many layers to prove that I'm sticking around ...
Stop chasing...flip the script & let her chase you. Aqua's don't do well with being chased but like a good challenge (don't make it an unachievable - they flirt you flirt). Use your inner Virgo...be intellectual, mysterious, and witty. Look sexy...but leave some for the imagination (you want them fantasizing). Be the best friend then sit back & let the challenge begin. It's the ultimate dance. And above all else have patience & do not go there sexually until you know you are "it" for them. That's my advice since I'm in the dance now with my Aqua & it's working.
i have cut back on my txt..... and fliping the script is not a bad idea what has your aqua been doing since you've done this beautiful virgo
He's been chasing. It's a bit of a slow process but for me he's worth it. Friends for a year & we work together. It's only been recently that I did the change up. Now instead of him doing all the talking he's asking all the questions. He's flirting way, way more than he use too, and hugging up on me all the time (when we are away from work of course). The work attire change was awesome. Caught him staring several times & I make a mental note of the outfits that he really reacts too. And wear them again the next week. All is work appropriate but I'm showing off my curves now & wearing heals instead of flats. Now he asks for private lunches 3 times a week plus an afternoon walk with random texts throughout the day. I sit back and go with it...let him lead. When I can see he's totally ready I'll rock his world like only a Virgo can. Till then I'll just keep doing what I'm doing...
Just to clarify "private" lunches are just when he & I go to lunch without co-workers. We have the best conversations during this time. I hope "flipping the script" works for you. If not the best piece of advice my mother gave me...next bus comes in 30 minutes. Sounds cold but life's too short & there are lots of fish in the sea. Good luck. Keep us posted.
thanks Beautifulvirgo.. let the chase begin day 1 lol i will definatly keep you posted... and Sammy20 she has been hinting little stuff even before the ex was trying to get back to her so i dont know.. All i have is time... im truly going to flip the script!!!
You already answered your own question
You're not getting any feedback from her that she wants you b/c she truly doesn't want you
She's in this to prove a point to her ex. She's using you to get to her ex & she actually had the balls to make that obvious!
To her, you're just a pawn in her game of actually trying to attract someone ELSE.
Even if she truly did like you, don't have the unrealistic expectation that others don't have a right to go at their OWN pace, just b/c yours might be faster or even slower than theirs.
Aquarians lust very quickly & easily BUT actually transitioning over to really liking someone for all the RIGHT & non-shallow ways takes some time. As it should.
If she's a mature Aquarian, trust me, she won't want the kind of relations with a man that take off quickly & go straight to the clouds before she's ready & thinks she's gotten to know you enough.
. That's why we're not too compatible with Pisces. Even if she allows herself to open up & go to the clouds with you, she'll never trust it or herself, UNTIL she's ready.
What it takes for others to be "ready" is totally different than what it takes for an Aquarian to be ready. And she'll never bend if you don't show that you can respect that.
I say run!
While yes, it's to be expected that it's not as easy to get "in" with an Aquarian, know too that if they are mature & if there's a real interest, the wall WILL actually come down eventually.
If you're not seeing that after a long time, then they're simply not that interested in you.
And since Aquarians don't mind friendship even with the person they like a lot, understand that if she's already "friend-zoned" you, she's not necessarily gonna be in a hurry to cut you off or let you go. She'll leave that decision/control up to you, as she should.
She's not going to beg you to leave, nor will she beg you to stay if she's not truly interested in you.
The only time you'll see a lot of emotion out of an Aquarian woman is when she's either fully into you OR just starting to slowly transition into truly liking you (which will scare her until the battle b/w her heart & mind in her own head finally ends) lol
But I don't think that's the case here. Sounds like this girl isn't in "this" for the same reasons you are. Sorry
You're not getting any feedback from her that she wants you b/c she truly doesn't want you
She's in this to prove a point to her ex. She's using you to get to her ex & she actually had the balls to make that obvious!
To her, you're just a pawn in her game of actually trying to attract someone ELSE.
Even if she truly did like you, don't have the unrealistic expectation that others don't have a right to go at their OWN pace, just b/c yours might be faster or even slower than theirs.
Aquarians lust very quickly & easily BUT actually transitioning over to really liking someone for all the RIGHT & non-shallow ways takes some time. As it should.
If she's a mature Aquarian, trust me, she won't want the kind of relations with a man that take off quickly & go straight to the clouds before she's ready & thinks she's gotten to know you enough.
. That's why we're not too compatible with Pisces. Even if she allows herself to open up & go to the clouds with you, she'll never trust it or herself, UNTIL she's ready.
What it takes for others to be "ready" is totally different than what it takes for an Aquarian to be ready. And she'll never bend if you don't show that you can respect that.
I say run!
While yes, it's to be expected that it's not as easy to get "in" with an Aquarian, know too that if they are mature & if there's a real interest, the wall WILL actually come down eventually.
If you're not seeing that after a long time, then they're simply not that interested in you.
And since Aquarians don't mind friendship even with the person they like a lot, understand that if she's already "friend-zoned" you, she's not necessarily gonna be in a hurry to cut you off or let you go. She'll leave that decision/control up to you, as she should.
She's not going to beg you to leave, nor will she beg you to stay if she's not truly interested in you.
The only time you'll see a lot of emotion out of an Aquarian woman is when she's either fully into you OR just starting to slowly transition into truly liking you (which will scare her until the battle b/w her heart & mind in her own head finally ends) lol
But I don't think that's the case here. Sounds like this girl isn't in "this" for the same reasons you are. Sorry
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Nice bokeh effect btw erd1983.
thank you!!!! Are you a photographer?
Posted by krysrenee7
You already answered your own question
You're not getting any feedback from her that she wants you b/c she truly doesn't want you
She's in this to prove a point to her ex. She's using you to get to her ex & she actually had the balls to make that obvious!
To her, you're just a pawn in her game of actually trying to attract someone ELSE.
Even if she truly did like you, don't have the unrealistic expectation that others don't have a right to go at their OWN pace, just b/c yours might be faster or even slower than theirs.
Aquarians lust very quickly & easily BUT actually transitioning over to really liking someone for all the RIGHT & non-shallow ways takes some time. As it should.
If she's a mature Aquarian, trust me, she won't want the kind of relations with a man that take off quickly & go straight to the clouds before she's ready & thinks she's gotten to know you enough.
. That's why we're not too compatible with Pisces. Even if she allows herself to open up & go to the clouds with you, she'll never trust it or herself, UNTIL she's ready.
What it takes for others to be "ready" is totally different than what it takes for an Aquarian to be ready. And she'll never bend if you don't show that you can respect that.
I say run!
While yes, it's to be expected that it's not as easy to get "in" with an Aquarian, know too that if they are mature & if there's a real interest, the wall WILL actually come down eventually.
If you're not seeing that after a long time, then they're simply not that interested in you.
And since Aquarians don't mind friendship even with the person they like a lot, understand that if she's already "friend-zoned" you, she's not necessarily gonna be in a hurry to cut you off or let you go. She'll leave that decision/control up to you, as she should.
She's not going to beg you to leave, nor will she beg you to stay if she's not truly interested in you.
The only time you'll see a lot of emotion out of an Aquarian woman is when she's either fully into you OR just starting to slowly transition into truly liking you (which will scare her until the battle b/w her heart & mind in her own head finally ends) lol
But I don't think that's the case here. Sounds like this girl isn't in "this" for the same reasons you are. Sorry
krysrenee7 you really think i should run, ive been think the samething t
well you trust your instincts and intuition..
what and how do you feel?
Krys and I have different thinking /thoughts about this.
Some people don't really care about their ex's. Why would she bother about her ex?
Her ex is probably NOTHING to her. Most of us don't give a damn about the ex's. Ancient history.
Then again, some people keep a burning flame for them.
Maybe she just doesn't know how to say it to you. You could always look towards her actions.
what and how do you feel?
Krys and I have different thinking /thoughts about this.
Some people don't really care about their ex's. Why would she bother about her ex?
Her ex is probably NOTHING to her. Most of us don't give a damn about the ex's. Ancient history.
Then again, some people keep a burning flame for them.
Maybe she just doesn't know how to say it to you. You could always look towards her actions.
Posted by lisabethur8
well you trust your instincts and intuition..
what and how do you feel?
Krys and I have different thinking /thoughts about this.
Some people don't really care about their ex's. Why would she bother about her ex?
Her ex is probably NOTHING to her. Most of us don't give a damn about the ex's. Ancient history.
Then again, some people keep a burning flame for them.
Maybe she just doesn't know how to say it to you. You could always look towards her actions.
lisa i think the samething maybe she just doesnt know how to say it to me. I will definatly keep everyone posted... at this point im just going with the flow!!!
Posted by everevolvingepithetPosted by erd1983Posted by everevolvingepithet
Nice bokeh effect btw erd1983.
thank you!!!! Are you a photographer?
No worries. I'm an artist! Not a photographer but there's plenty of times where I wish I at least had a smartphone to take pics.click to expand
oh no you have to get the real thing... no smart phone could produce that type of bokeh...
Posted by everevolvingepithet
You mean there's no app for that sort of thing?
i have no idea lol... my camera on my phone sucks...
Posted by lisabethur8
well you trust your instincts and intuition..
what and how do you feel?
Krys and I have different thinking /thoughts about this.
Some people don't really care about their ex's. Why would she bother about her ex?
Her ex is probably NOTHING to her. Most of us don't give a damn about the ex's. Ancient history.
Then again, some people keep a burning flame for them.
Maybe she just doesn't know how to say it to you. You could always look towards her actions.
True, some people have moved on from their ex, but the woman being talked about in this post clearly hasn't.
People don't usually put that much energy or effort into getting an emotional reaction out of another person if they no longer care
And if she's the kind of woman who will just thrives off of drama or seeing others "sweat" just for the hell of it, then that's even more reason for him to run like hell!
That's not healthy.
Besides, he deserves someone who will put all of that attention/effort/energy into him, not some guy from her past that he can't compete with
I'm a firm believer that if you just pay close enough attention, watch & actually listen to some of the things people say, they'll tell you who they are. They'll present to you their intentions. They'll answer all your unspoken questions
This is the part where most people mess up
They see the red flags, some more obvious than others, & instead of taking the hint for what it is, they start over-analyzing & asking questions they already sub-consciously have the answers to
So yes, I see it as a red flag that a woman whose ready to move on & take interest in someone completely new would ADMIT that they are trying to get an emotional reaction out of someone else, as opposed to just being happy & letting that speak for itself.
But hey, what do I know?! I don't see how her admitting that wouldn't be considered a red flag!
And her admitting that about her ex is just 1 thing! Let's not forget that this lady is absolutely sending him signals that symbolize someone not truly being interested. DOUBLE WHAMMY!
Doesn't mean she's a bad person. Just that she's not emotionally/mentally ready to give her undivided attention to someone new.
And if the person you're dating isn't 100% emotionally available, it's a waste of both people's time.
They see the red flags, some more obvious than others, & instead of taking the hint for what it is, they start over-analyzing & asking questions they already sub-consciously have the answers to
So yes, I see it as a red flag that a woman whose ready to move on & take interest in someone completely new would ADMIT that they are trying to get an emotional reaction out of someone else, as opposed to just being happy & letting that speak for itself.
But hey, what do I know?! I don't see how her admitting that wouldn't be considered a red flag!
And her admitting that about her ex is just 1 thing! Let's not forget that this lady is absolutely sending him signals that symbolize someone not truly being interested. DOUBLE WHAMMY!
Doesn't mean she's a bad person. Just that she's not emotionally/mentally ready to give her undivided attention to someone new.
And if the person you're dating isn't 100% emotionally available, it's a waste of both people's time.
There's a reason BOTH people don't advise others to date someone who has shown all the signs of someone who is emotionally unavailable.
It's b/c situations like THIS are the result, more often than not
It negates confusion, unhealthy over-analyzing, & just an overall bad feelings. These are all the feelings/stages people most like to AVOID lol
The best way to avoid them is to not play with fire & recognize a potential red flag when it's presented.
Yes he should trust his instinct/gut intuition...the very intuition that is making him question things. He's questioning things for a reason! His intuition is trying to tell him something!!
And I'm here to tell him to listen!!
It's b/c situations like THIS are the result, more often than not
It negates confusion, unhealthy over-analyzing, & just an overall bad feelings. These are all the feelings/stages people most like to AVOID lol
The best way to avoid them is to not play with fire & recognize a potential red flag when it's presented.
Yes he should trust his instinct/gut intuition...the very intuition that is making him question things. He's questioning things for a reason! His intuition is trying to tell him something!!
And I'm here to tell him to listen!!
Posted by krysrenee7
There's a reason BOTH people don't advise others to date someone who has shown all the signs of someone who is emotionally unavailable.
It's b/c situations like THIS are the result, more often than not
It negates confusion, unhealthy over-analyzing, & just an overall bad feelings. These are all the feelings/stages people most like to AVOID lol
The best way to avoid them is to not play with fire & recognize a potential red flag when it's presented.
Yes he should trust his instinct/gut intuition...the very intuition that is making him question things. He's questioning things for a reason! His intuition is trying to tell him something!!
And I'm here to tell him to listen!!
Wow krysreene7 you said everything i was feeling wow.. and just to let you know I am a female and my aqua is also a female and her ex is a female... so now you can imagine how a big my red flag is... HUGE.... for what it is worth my head tells me not to emotionally invest .Being on this board has made me realize a lot of stuff. This is not rocket science..... I know that something doesn't set right with me. Its not worth the time or heart ache i predict will happen. Now that i know the ball truly is in my court... I don't ever walk away from something because i believe that is a sign of weakness, but I will be a good friend and defiantly put her on the list of don't emotionally invest if that make sense. One aqua told me to run lol ...
Posted by krysrenee7
This is the part where most people mess up
They see the red flags, some more obvious than others, & instead of taking the hint for what it is, they start over-analyzing & asking questions they already sub-consciously have the answers to
So yes, I see it as a red flag that a woman whose ready to move on & take interest in someone completely new would ADMIT that they are trying to get an emotional reaction out of someone else, as opposed to just being happy & letting that speak for itself.
But hey, what do I know?! I don't see how her admitting that wouldn't be considered a red flag!
And her admitting that about her ex is just 1 thing! Let's not forget that this lady is absolutely sending him signals that symbolize someone not truly being interested. DOUBLE WHAMMY!
Doesn't mean she's a bad person. Just that she's not emotionally/mentally ready to give her undivided attention to someone new.
And if the person you're dating isn't 100% emotionally available, it's a waste of both people's time.
yes ....yes... yes... I need this for real!!!!
So i found this and everything that this article wrote is what is happening 1 thru 5... I promise you... Krysrenee7you were right.... (numbers 3 and 4 are my current situation for real)... how could I be so blinded....
Here are 5 signs that you may be attracted to an emotionally unavailable person.
1. You give more than you receive.
When dating or investing your time with an emotional unavailable person you may find yourself giving a lot more then you get. Whether you buy gifts, pay for dinner ALL the time, or they never say thank you, you are really never going to see the return on your investment. Do not wait around hoping they will change and suddenly shower you with flowers, love and attention. Do yourself a favor and move on quickly.
2. They don't show up for you.
Whether you have a work event, a new promotion to celebrate or a book release party, if the person you care about isn't showing up to support you then they are emotionally closed off. People who really care will make it happen and show up for you...no matter what.
3. They are poor communicators.
If your love interest doesn??t pick up the phone or give you a clear answer when you talk this is a red flag. If they only use text message to communicate with you this is another red flag.
4. They are full of excuses and indecisive.
If you try to make plans with an emotional unavailable person, it's like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands, slippery and frustrating. They may be busy, tired, stressed overworked, or broke .... Whatever the reason, their excuses mean they are not open to long lasting love or an intimate connection at this time. Move along.
5. They talk about their past A LOT.
If you find yourself in love with an emotional unavailable person, red flags pop up all the time. The one most women skip over is the way and how often they talk about their exes. If there is any animosity, anger or sadness surrounding their exes, they have not healed completely.
Here are 5 signs that you may be attracted to an emotionally unavailable person.
1. You give more than you receive.
When dating or investing your time with an emotional unavailable person you may find yourself giving a lot more then you get. Whether you buy gifts, pay for dinner ALL the time, or they never say thank you, you are really never going to see the return on your investment. Do not wait around hoping they will change and suddenly shower you with flowers, love and attention. Do yourself a favor and move on quickly.
2. They don't show up for you.
Whether you have a work event, a new promotion to celebrate or a book release party, if the person you care about isn't showing up to support you then they are emotionally closed off. People who really care will make it happen and show up for you...no matter what.
3. They are poor communicators.
If your love interest doesn??t pick up the phone or give you a clear answer when you talk this is a red flag. If they only use text message to communicate with you this is another red flag.
4. They are full of excuses and indecisive.
If you try to make plans with an emotional unavailable person, it's like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands, slippery and frustrating. They may be busy, tired, stressed overworked, or broke .... Whatever the reason, their excuses mean they are not open to long lasting love or an intimate connection at this time. Move along.
5. They talk about their past A LOT.
If you find yourself in love with an emotional unavailable person, red flags pop up all the time. The one most women skip over is the way and how often they talk about their exes. If there is any animosity, anger or sadness surrounding their exes, they have not healed completely.
^^ hmmm some of that list needs to be revised. It's too general and not detailed enough. LOL but i agree, that a person who cares/loves you would never abandon you, always show up to your events that surround anything important to you. There's no excuse. Only excuse is car accident/any accident/great illness, ect but those are already horrible. You dont want anything bad to happen to them.
but you said 3 & 4 are the ones on that list that are what stands out.
the no. 3 poor communicators. Jesus. So the article says "EFF 'EM!" basically. LOL this is what I mean about this article needs REVISION. (shakes head) it's too generalizing.
Not deep enough to understand. It's surface riding, man. Plus, who has time to go and write long drawn out detailed articles and pour emotion into it so that it speaks to the entire population? Pfff.
no. 4...they already answered it for you! LOL
they wrote, if they are tired stressed out from work, ect and so on and so on, just small tidbits of info here. And then, what? They tell you to "EFF 'EM!"
I can't...I just can't...so I'm LOLing here.
but you said 3 & 4 are the ones on that list that are what stands out.
the no. 3 poor communicators. Jesus. So the article says "EFF 'EM!" basically. LOL this is what I mean about this article needs REVISION. (shakes head) it's too generalizing.
Not deep enough to understand. It's surface riding, man. Plus, who has time to go and write long drawn out detailed articles and pour emotion into it so that it speaks to the entire population? Pfff.
no. 4...they already answered it for you! LOL
they wrote, if they are tired stressed out from work, ect and so on and so on, just small tidbits of info here. And then, what? They tell you to "EFF 'EM!"
I can't...I just can't...so I'm LOLing here.
Posted by everevolvingepithet
"Not deep enough to understand. It's surface riding, man. Plus, who has time to go and write long drawn out detailed articles and pour emotion into it so that it speaks to the entire population? Pfff.
"
Writers lol
LOL guilty.
Do what you've gotta do! And be ok with it!
Sometimes all a person can truly give you their all in is friendship, but nothing more. Some people are worthy to invest in as friends, but bad luck to invest in romantically & vice versa! Some people are more there for you & consistent as your lover vs. as your friend
You said the magic words. Your gut is telling you NOT to invest.
If that's what your intuition is telling you then you don't need us, any articles, or outside advice to tell you what to do. You've already told yourself what to do. Now it's just a matter of actually doing it
If you have to take a break for awhile from her b/c it's too hard to be around her, then so be it. Do what you gotta do.
If you've got to have the official "Friend zone" talk with her, do what you've gotta do. Let her know in a friendly (not confrontational) way that you'd rather just be friends.
Don't tell her why b/c she'll just deny it & argue with you. She had a reason for keeping you around, even though I think that reason wasn't necessarily good, so don't expect for her or anyone to want to give up something that is benefiting them in the moment
Use your self-esteem to get you through this. On the days where you start to miss her romantically, remind yourself that had you kept going, 1 or both of you would've ended up getting hurt in the long run. And well, pain HURTS so that oughta stop you in your tracks from going back
And hey, maybe in the future she'll be more right for you, more mature & more willing to give you her undivided attention. And IF/WHEN that day comes (not before then) they hey, see if you're even still interested in her romantically & if you are go for it.
Personally, I think it's so much harder to get that connection back once it's been severed for a while. For all you know, you might have someone more right for you when that moment comes
Good luck =)
Sometimes all a person can truly give you their all in is friendship, but nothing more. Some people are worthy to invest in as friends, but bad luck to invest in romantically & vice versa! Some people are more there for you & consistent as your lover vs. as your friend
You said the magic words. Your gut is telling you NOT to invest.
If that's what your intuition is telling you then you don't need us, any articles, or outside advice to tell you what to do. You've already told yourself what to do. Now it's just a matter of actually doing it
If you have to take a break for awhile from her b/c it's too hard to be around her, then so be it. Do what you gotta do.
If you've got to have the official "Friend zone" talk with her, do what you've gotta do. Let her know in a friendly (not confrontational) way that you'd rather just be friends.
Don't tell her why b/c she'll just deny it & argue with you. She had a reason for keeping you around, even though I think that reason wasn't necessarily good, so don't expect for her or anyone to want to give up something that is benefiting them in the moment
Use your self-esteem to get you through this. On the days where you start to miss her romantically, remind yourself that had you kept going, 1 or both of you would've ended up getting hurt in the long run. And well, pain HURTS so that oughta stop you in your tracks from going back
And hey, maybe in the future she'll be more right for you, more mature & more willing to give you her undivided attention. And IF/WHEN that day comes (not before then) they hey, see if you're even still interested in her romantically & if you are go for it.
Personally, I think it's so much harder to get that connection back once it's been severed for a while. For all you know, you might have someone more right for you when that moment comes
Good luck =)
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