This is REALLY pissing me off!

This stems from reading this scenario on these boards over and over.

When someone you like/love/are crazy about is with someone else - THEY ARE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Period.

It is not your responsibility to:

Break up a relationship.
Meddle in that relationship.
Think you know what's best for the person you like as far as their relationship with another person goes.
Think they'll leave that relationship to be with you if you offer them sex.
Think they'll leave that relationship for any fucking reason whatsoever other than they don't want to be with their partner any longer.


It's not your responsibility to:

Harbour ridiculous grudges and hate for another person whom you probably don't even know simply because he/she may be with someone you like.
Trash the reputation of that other person.
Sabotage their relationship with malice, spite or bullshit.
Make up stories to suit yourself while telling your story to others (we know you're full of it).


What possible good can it do to your self esteem, self worth, reputation, self respect, or emotional status to be the third wheel in a relationship?

If it were done to you would you like it? Some woman comes along and tries to be in a relationship with your partner - how would you feel?

And about these men/women that play the game of having two people fawning over them? Well, they love it, it's an ego boost - but that doesn't make the third-wheel person special - it makes them look like an idiot.

And why would you want to be with someone who plays this game? Because you're an idiot. That's why.

For goodness sake, there are single people all over the place. Go find one and let those who are in a relationship be IN that relationship without you shoving your beak into it.

If you're meant to be with the person you love who is already with someone else, at some point you'll be with them. So leave them to their business, let them finish up where they are with no "convincing" from you and let them come find you.

Third Wheel Meddlers. You really are a selfish bunch of horrible people.

NZAqua-We are all entitled to our opinions and not once did I bash anything you said on my post! Ones opinions are just that, an opinion. I understand your upset, because there are people who do as you say. However, you do not know me, him, nor our situation. You do not "know it all". So be kind to others as I have been kind to you. 🙂

agreed. but to expect humans to elevate their life by their own endeavor takes time and work. your much older than us..im only 25. People understand those ideas but to put them to work is difficult. To be this frustrated is your fault of just getting off these posts. people are here to hear. and pick and choose...also by playin "devils advocate" it may help others come to a higher level of perceiving.

Posted by NikkiMse1978
NZAqua-We are all entitled to our opinions and not once did I bash anything you said on my post! Ones opinions are just that, an opinion. I understand your upset, because there are people who do as you say. However, you do not know me, him, nor our situation. You do not "know it all". So be kind to others as I have been kind to you. 🙂

A tad paranoid perhaps? Nowhere do I mention you in specific terms. Ad the opening line in this thread says - I've seen this situation over and over on here.
I AM kind, that's why i spend my time answering questions on here, offering support and ideas - but that doesn't extent to creating plans and giving people the go-ahead to meddle in a relationship by way of being a third wheel or anything else mentioned in my initial post.
No, people don't do as i say - they have their choices - and these are then the exact same people who further down the track come back with the same dramas again and again. Reality is, I don't actually give a shit who does what. I only care that there are people in this world who fight to be in a healthy relationship, only to have some other selfish uncaring person come along and trash it for their own self.
No, i don't know it all - if I did I'd have written a book, made a million and would have my own chat show. But as someone who's spent her life studying behaviour, people, situations, outcomes and patterns I'd say that qualifies me to separate emotionally driven choices from logic, reality and healthy habits in life - and yes, it counts.
Nobody on these boards won't know the ins and outs of people's lives - we only learn from the info given to us. But I'll put money on the fact that the people who meddle in other people's relationships are the ones who'll get used, hurt and jaded after it's all over....and then they'll be back to start a thread saying "I got used".

Posted by candi3bb
agreed. but to expect humans to elevate their life by their own endeavor takes time and work. your much older than us..im only 25. People understand those ideas but to put them to work is difficult. To be this frustrated is your fault of just getting off these posts. people are here to hear. and pick and choose...also by playin "devils advocate" it may help others come to a higher level of perceiving.

Yes, it does take time and work - but the basis for "right and wrong" is learned in childhood, not once you've celebrated your 30th birthday with a bag of crackers and a wine.
My frustration stems from the sheer postings dripping with lack of regard for fellow humans while in relationships. It's called empathy for those who are being shit on. It's not a flaw and "fault" doesn't come into it.
Yes, people WILL pick and choose - and those that chose to swap respect for self and others for greed and need are the ones who will be back here time and again, making unhealthy choices and falling into the vat of cyclic emotional upheaval.

I don't think I have ever liked someone who is with someone else.

Cause how would I like it if that happened to me?

I have a lot of dysfunctional behaviors but that isn't one of them.

How could you break up two people who are in love anyway? That shit is strong.

Put that effort into making money!

I'm saving up for a new lap top

Just put yourself in the girls shoes. Would you want ANOTHER girl pursuing YOUR boyfriend? thats all I ask, empathy. Let two people be happy together- whats meant to be will happen, always!

to nzaqua:

You are someone who studies behavior, people and situations?? Where did you get your psychology degree or sociology degree— Lets be honest people come on here for answers and if the level of questions annoy you go get a bag of crackers and some wine and enjoy your local talk show trash. You clearly care quite a bit about being involved in others drama and if you were honestly only posting on here to be "kind" you would not make posts such as the one above. It is simply judgmental, not a kind act. You are 37, get off the computer and go enjoy the twilight of your life.... perhaps take a stroll instead of searching forums to tear people down like a 15 year old. I would hope in your "childhood learning" you would have realized how truly childish such an over the top reaction like yours is for someone of your age. Simply put, get over yourself you are exactly the same as everyone else on here. Now go ahead and write five or six paragraph long responses and prove to me how ridiculous you being on these forums is.
By the way, I read this post on my friends computer and have no interest in returning to this forum. I will never read your responses because I simply do not care and have better things to do with my time. I am truly sorry, from the bottom of my kind heart that the reality of your life in the real world is so incredibly boring that you are so strongly involved in other peoples lives. Enjoy your response fest, I hope it kills a few hours of your life for you. Good evening.

PS Can I have some shrimp on the barbie?? oh wait that's Australia the more interesting place.
PPS This is Really Pissing Me Off that I am so kind to people and they dont want to hear my advice so I must rant at them incessantly.....
PPPS Cause who doesn't wanna hear it again— 😄 😄 😄

pppps.

This stems from reading this scenario on these boards over and over.

When someone you like/love/are crazy about is with someone else - THEY ARE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Period.

It is not your responsibility to:

Break up a relationship.
Meddle in that relationship.
Think you know what's best for the person you like as far as their relationship with another person goes.
Think they'll leave that relationship to be with you if you offer them sex.
Think they'll leave that relationship for any treetrunking reason whatsoever other than they don't want to be with their partner any longer.


It's not your responsibility to:

Harbour ridiculous grudges and hate for another person whom you probably don't even know simply because he/she may be with someone you like.
Trash the reputation of that other person.
Sabotage their relationship with malice, spite or bullbutter.
Make up stories to suit yourself while telling your story to others (we know you're full of it).


What possible good can it do to your self esteem, self worth, reputation, self respect, or emotional status to be the third wheel in a relationship?

If it were done to you would you like it? Some woman comes along and tries to be in a relationship with your partner - how would you feel?

And about these men/women that play the game of having two people fawning over them? Well, they love it, it's an ego boost - but that doesn't make the third-wheel person special - it makes them look like an idiot.

And why would you want to be with someone who plays this game? Because you're an idiot. That's why.

For goodness sake, there are single people all over the place. Go find one and let those who are in a relationship be IN that relationship without you shoving your beak into it.

If you're meant to be with the person you love who is already with someone else, at some point you'll be with them. So leave them to their business, let them finish up where they are with no "convincing" from you and let them come find you.

Third Wheel Meddlers. You really are a selfish bunch of horrible people.

cowboy zen.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by Sagittarius89
How could you break up two people who are in love anyway? That shit is strong.

Put that effort into making money!

Sad lonely queefer parasites, maybe ?
tsk tsk
As you can see I am all zen-like so I'm going to go with 'Ooohhh Karma !' lol

click to expand

Haha I see that!

Said people may be in relationships, but how come they come back to you? Clarification please?

WOW you are so right. Thanks for the input. I never looked at it that way.
Are you an Aqua yourself, Ali?

Posted by NikkiMse1978
Said people may be in relationships, but how come they come back to you? Clarification please?

Because they are human and don't have all the answers. Some people take the easy road because they have no other way of travelling.

However, in order to go back somewhere they have to feel there's an open invite. And this is where the Third Wheel comes in.

There's a sense of comfort, familiarity, hope, expectation and, for some, an ego boost. Whatever the reason they go back because they get something that feels good from it. Whether the good feeling is a healthy choice one is another matter entirely.

nzaqua was just venting people. u guys r overanalyzing waaaaay too much. lighten up 😛

Posted by NZAqua

Posted by NikkiMse1978
Said people may be in relationships, but how come they come back to you? Clarification please?

Because they are human and don't have all the answers. Some people take the easy road because they have no other way of travelling.

However, in order to go back somewhere they have to feel there's an open invite. And this is where the Third Wheel comes in.

There's a sense of comfort, familiarity, hope, expectation and, for some, an ego boost. Whatever the reason they go back because they get something that feels good from it. Whether the good feeling is a healthy choice one is another matter entirely.

click to expand

The plot only thickens with us, each and every time. I will never fully understand why he keeps coming back, but I cannot let him into my life any longer. He did choose her and I refuse to be the on the side, the "other" woman. I have to much respect and to much dignity to do that to me, or to his gf.
It seems he travels the same road quite frequently when it comes to the loves hes lost. And this time, I am encouraging him to take the road less traveled. To make a right, and not a left.
Why would he want to go back somewhere? I am not making sense of that statement.
There is alot more that has happend, and I do not feel comfortable putting out there for all to see. However, I will say this. He is trying to convince me to be the "other" woman. I am sticking to my guns and saying no. He finally admitted to me he cannot give me what I want (him). That there is to much history and he knows I say he hurt me, but his heart still has fresh wounds when he tried that before. ( I think he means when we tried getting back together before).
Seeing him in this new light, regardless of what he means, makes it easier for me to move on. I am being brave, but it is the only way I can safely move on.
This is giving him a major ego boost for sure! LOL. I see right through it.

Posted by firewaterearth

Posted by AliCar15
Because you have history- because it was already "comfortable". Because it doesn't require work or effort. And especially if you make it easy for him.

Relationships take work. They can be difficult and they have their ups and their downs. If he has any experience, an Aqua man knows this and understands that relationships take time, and are sometimes a struggle. It can take some serious effort and fortitude to get to a good, comfortable place with a new significant other. He knows what a relationship requires of him, which is why sometimes, he may not want to put in the work 100% of the time. It can be exhausting.

This is why he is coming back and sleeping with you. Because you're letting him have his cake and eat it to. Because he has you on the side to fulfill his sexual needs, he can really and truly take his time building a strong, stable foundation with his new love, without sex getting in the way. He can take his time with sex with her and let it be beautiful and meaningful. There is no rush for him to have sex with his new girlfriend, because you're so easy for him to sleep with.

For the record, I don't think any of this is right. Dude is a dirtbag.

In my experience, an Aqua male will always go back to the woman who inspired him to be better himself in some way and/or challenged him. He will choose her over someone whom he has "shared history" with in the long run.

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He just told me that last night. We have to much history. LOL.