Uh oh, BigD56 is thinking again...

Hmm...I know it's life to be angry, happy, etc. But we live in a world where we can never expect anything good OR bad to happen, so why even put any emotion in something that can disappoint you?

Everyone and everything has the potential to disappoint you. This, throughout life, is what I've learned that IS a fact. With this in mind, I think, why the hell do people bother getting upset or even happy with things that may not happen? You can't trust this person, because they can DISAPPOINT YOU!!!

I had an interesting argument with a woman I'm talking to. She told me, Big-D...we're going out to have fun this weekend. OK. I hold her to what she said because SHE said it. The day before our date, I talk to her about this. Next day, she's busy. I really did want to go, but I expected that something wrong could happen in which it did. I didn't get mad, I just laughed about it and kept life movin instead of feeling like my life has been ruined by this woman I care about.

Now, if I DID let emotions get to me, I would've vented and argued with her over broken promises that could lead to accusations for future mistakes that could lead to an unexpected breakup, then the next day I'd be beating myself up over it because I just lost a beautiful woman over a damn date...

Hmm...I know it's life to be angry, happy, etc. But we live in a world where we can never expect anything good OR bad to happen, so why even put any emotion in something that can disappoint you?

Everyone and everything has the potential to disappoint you. This, throughout life, is what I've learned that IS a fact. With this in mind, I think, why the hell do people bother getting upset or even happy with things that may not happen? You can't trust this person, because they can DISAPPOINT YOU!!!

I had an interesting argument with a woman I'm talking to. She told me, Big-D...we're going out to have fun this weekend. OK. I hold her to what she said because SHE said it. The day before our date, I talk to her about this. Next day, she's busy. I really did want to go, but I expected that something wrong could happen in which it did. I didn't get mad, I just laughed about it and kept life movin instead of feeling like my life has been ruined by this woman I care about.

Now, if I DID let emotions get to me, I would've vented and argued with her over broken promises that could lead to accusations for future mistakes that could lead to an unexpected breakup, then the next day I'd be beating myself up over it because I just lost a beautiful woman over a damn date...

Another strike for logic versus emotion

there's a difference between having emotions and letting emotions control your actions. in other words, if you allowed yourself to feel disappointment or anger it does not necessarily follow that you would act in the way you described. emotion and logic can both work just fine as long as they are balanced.

hopefully she doesn't take your laughter as an indication that she can walk alllllllll over ya, 'specially if she's as beautiful as you say 😉.

"Now, if I DID let emotions get to me, I would've vented and argued with her over broken promises that could lead to accusations for future mistakes that could lead to an unexpected breakup, then the next day I'd be beating myself up over it because I just lost a beautiful woman over a damn date..."

looking it over...this actually seems like a strike against logic. you completely over-analyzed here 😛. it almost seems like a rationalization. well, it sure is great i wasn't emotional, cause if i did, this would have happened, and then this, and then THIS, as every possibility becomes progressively worse. hahaha.

No. People acually cannot control their emotions. They don't use their minds, and rather think that everyone's out to get them when really it's just that life is hard. I really thought that she did this to either tick me off or to disrespect me, but I decided to use my mind and think "Well, if I yell...I'd end up with nothing. If I smile and laugh, I'd end up with everything" and as I thought, It all worked out.

I need for people to understand that people can disappoint so there's no reason hating a person just because they said something they didn't mean or didn't do something that they promised they did.

BigD -

If you have no expectations of another, you will not be disapointed. Accepting people and circumstances for what they are brings happiness to one. 😉

If you think about the word logic, you think about the most rational and reasonable approach without regrets later in life, ignoring whatever feeling you have at the time.

When you think about emotion, you think about passion, and passion means you need a love for something, which means you need to put your faith and trust in it also which can lead to broken hearts.

I don't want regrets, and I truly don't want to go with a broken heart...

Now....if someone gives their word and says they are going to do something and does not call to let you know of a change - this is a person who lacks respect - for himself and others. Knowing that you cannot change this person - but choosing to express to them that it would have been cool if they could have called you. If you express your need to them and they choose to not comply then it is up to you whether you want them in your life or not.

Happiness....😉

Hey BigD....welcome to planet Earth.....broken hearts happen, broken legs happen, trees fall down, storms create havoc, people are born, people will die, dogs bark, airplanes fly and they crash....anything and everything can and will happen while you are visiting this planet.

It is up to YOU as to how YOU choose to respond to each circumstance.

Instead of *thinking* your heart has been broken and you are wounded for life...change that thought and be grateful for the experience that you had with that person knowing also that many more people are going to enter the world of THE BIGD and you will have more experiences.

Gratefulness for each experience...focus on the GOOD. 😉

haha, ok, let me know when you finally explode 😛.

He done "exploded" 😢

"that seems unhealthy." - it IS unhealthy!

How ya doin' LK?

me thinks that is what caused the "explosion" 😉

I don't think logic is what BigD drew on so as not to feel upset by this woman backtracking on what she'd said. It was seeing the bigger picture perhaps which comes from experienece and pragmatism more than black and white logic. Since he became interested in this particular woman based on emtion and attraction, logic would naturally lead him to be frustrated that she had obviously renegued on what she had said she would so.

As Wheels said it's a healthy balance between emotions and logic but emotions are what make us bother forming relationships with people in the first place.

Yes?it's called. ?Life?..It happens.

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Yeah, that?s shitty. You are naturally upset, but i dont think its because she altered the plans. Its more of the bruised ego thing, dont worry about it. Maybe try again, if you think she?s worth it?!

I see...but using your mind is a lot better than going with your heart on mostly everything. It's safe to say off of personal experience.

MD, I like what u said about seeing the big picture. Yea u maybe right about that, to see the bigger picture, I would want to see what I ultimately want and try to get there by using my mind and using emotion as fuel to get there. Without emotion, what the hell would be the reason why I would even want to waste my time on another person for? I always keep in mind that all the work I put in it could be ruined at any minute which is a vital safeguard

I find that not giving a fuck emotionally is a good tool to have.

I find that not giving a fuck emotionally is a good tool to have.

BigD, by Sign type alone, hearing Idealism from a so-called 'earth sign' sounds a little strange, and denially but, You must believe that theres an 'alternative' you forget that humans have free will; they can be dissapointing at times, but they can also prove most encouraging; if you became as cynical as you declarations then you may as well leave your Aquarius Gem at the Door, and Pick up a Virgo Gem on the way down! lol 😛 Classic Mistake: NEVER hold a person to what they say alone, becuase you're setting yourself up for disaster; if you know that people have the capacity to disappoint, why not put yourself in a more favorable out come by holding them to the character; trust people by the rapport that you have established so that way the outcome is more logical; also, looking on the dark side as opposed to looking on the grey side dosen't help very much either man, the only one you can hold to their word is YOU. nobody else BECUASE they can dissapoint; I'm not saying join the Sag parade, just look at the situation a little more closely....

"lassic Mistake: NEVER hold a person to what they say alone, becuase you're setting yourself up for disaster"

Really good point. I have been feeling really resentful about the cancer guy who said things that he didn't mean but which I held on to and retained and threw them back at him in an angry backlash after he started showing his cold side.

But a friend - he happens to be a sag! - supplied the scenario that I didn't consider. ie that he may have meant what he said at the time. So when he said he loved me or that he misses - well he could actually have believed this to be an accurate state of his feelins at that time. This does not mean that it was something that I should have grasped on to as assurance of his feelings for me. Ok I also say that he shouldn't have said this stuff out loud unless he genuinely had thought it through.

But basically the point is, just as VirgoExalted said, that we cannot rate the sincerity or genuineness of the person solely on what they have said. We should instead go by how our individual relationship with them is. If I looked at it this way as regards the cancer guy, I would see that our time together was just having meals, having sex, playing music and whispering sweet "nothings" to eachother. This was the not the basis of the romance of the year. Yet I decided to base the total validity of the nature of our relationship on whatever grand phrases he got inspired with
at the particular instant.

Also I agree with Virgo that we shouldn't take away from this experience that we have been cheated on by someone, but more that we should learn to trust our own feelings about things more so that we can base the status of a relationship on what we think and feel and not what the other person may utter on a whim. In other words to become more empowered, not cynical. Big difference.