Uhhhh...What Happened?

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by ScorpioMackin on Wednesday, January 25, 2012 and has 20 replies.
Ok, I've been seeing this aqua for about 3 months or so..things were rolling along just fine. She texted mushy shit through out the day..we hung out often and had plenty of sex. Things were looking up. All of a sudden, right after new years...she's distant all of a sudden. Out of no where, her friends are getting waay more time with her than I am (i'm not implying she can't hang with her friends) I just don't like the fact that they got to see her more (ok, that's selfish as f**k lol) There's been no sex..not even kissing..hell, i'm barely getting hugs. Somethings off, and I know some of it probably stems from an incident we had (Summary: She went out, at some point told me she was going home. I wake up to send my morning tweets and I see she hadn't gone home when she told me. The only thing I said to her is don't tell me you're going home and you're not because if i'd done the same..she's be hot at me. And its not a good look, she's done nothing to dis-earn my trust as of yet) But that's when I started to notice a different vibe from her. And there will also be incidents where i'll go to her house to see her (its been a few days at this point) she's hollering she's tired cause of work which is understandable so I cut my visit short only to receive a call from her right as I get home asking me if I can get some trees for her and her best friend.
Whats going on here..did I turn right when I should have turned left? I'm kind of confused and the thing about me is...the more distant she gets, the less I care to fix it. I'm not really interested in chasing folks...
"The only thing I said to her is don't tell me you're going home and you're not "
That killed it...I'm an Aqua and I would have given you the cold shoulder. Don't tell me what to do, you are not the boss of me...Remember this, Aqua's can be very rebellious.
"Whats going on here..did I turn right when I should have turned left? I'm kind of confused and the thing about me is...the more distant she gets, the less I care to fix it. I'm not really interested in chasing folks..."
Tell her no the next time she pulls the whole get me and my friends trees stunt, we hate push over beta type males, RESISTANCE, give her a heavy dose of resistance and she'll cling to you, no literally she will.
Depending on what kind of Aqua she is, well you'll most likely end up having to be really firm with her, IMO she's bored, we grow bored with easy men real fast so throw her some excitement, be mean LOL I know I might get cut up for saying that but depending on her level of maturity you may have to be a bit more challenging, NO will do it each and every time, the tables will flip and she'll be getting YOU some tree's to win your love and affection. Don't be mean all of the time, you have to balance it out between mean/resistant and nice, being too resistant will send her to the hills forever, she has to feel she's making progress with you or she'll grow bored of that challenge and move on.
WE CAN BE WEIRD LIKE THAT....Some men can't hang with it, some can.
"That killed it...I'm an Aqua and I would have given you the cold shoulder. Don't tell me what to do, you are not the boss of me...Remember this, Aqua's can be very rebellious." I wasn't trying to be bossy..I didn't care when she got home. She brought it up. Me personally, I wouldn't tell you i'm heading to the house and then be caught somewhere else hours later, in this case, posting about it. Say what you mean and mean what you say...
"Tell her no the next time she pulls the whole get me and my friends trees stunt, we hate push over beta type males, RESISTANCE, give her a heavy dose of resistance and she'll cling to you, no literally she will." It was more for her home girl than it was the fact that she said she needed it. She only smokes when her friend smokes so i was looking at this kind of detached from the situation but you right, I get what you're getting at here..point taken. But please believe me...she's get a hefty dose of no when necessary, the thing is..a lot of what she asks for is easily attainable for me so its not like I have alot of reasons to be like nah. I don't mind doing for my girl as long as I do it comfortably...
"Depending on what kind of Aqua she is, well you'll most likely end up having to be really firm with her, IMO she's bored, we grow bored with easy men real fast so throw her some excitement, be mean LOL I know I might get cut up for saying that but depending on her level of maturity you may have to be a bit more challenging, NO will do it each and every time, the tables will flip and she'll be getting YOU some tree's to win your love and affection. Don't be mean all of the time, you have to balance it out between mean/resistant and nice, being too resistant will send her to the hills forever, she has to feel she's making progress with you or she'll grow bored of that challenge and move on.
WE CAN BE WEIRD LIKE THAT....Some men can't hang with it, some can." Don't get it wrong, i'm far from a pushover..i'm actually very defensive as you can see lol. But what can I really be firm with her about..do I tell her "Hey, you better spend more time with me" firm says controlling to me and that exactly what i'm not trying to do..control her

You are a scorpio? Right? I don't think this will last, Aqua females depending on her age can can be flighty, we go were we feel we need to go and we won't give you an explanation unless you demand one, we do what we wanna do and it may not be what you expect her to do all of the time, we are forever stuck in our own heads and we may say/do something and end up doing something else, FREEDOM we need a sign that can give us that freedom to change our minds, I don't think possessive scorpio will be able to handle an Aqua.
"she's get a hefty dose of no when necessary, the thing is..a lot of what she asks for is easily attainable for me so its not like I have alot of reasons to be like nah. I don't mind doing for my girl as long as I do it comfortably..."
Even if it's attainable, say no, slightly more selfish, trust me, she'll begin to appreciate you more when you do DO something for her and her friends, she'll place HIGH VALUE on the relationship and appreciate you more. Right now she's testing your boundaries and if you do everything that's attainable all of the time she'll slowly grow bored and place lower value on you and the relationship. Sometimes with a woman you have to be a little bit selfish for her to appreciate you more, a grown ass mature woman you don't behave this way with b/c she won't take you for granted.
"But what can I really be firm with her about..do I tell her "Hey, you better spend more time with me" firm says controlling to me and that exactly what i'm not trying to do..control her"
Being firm is the same as being a little bit more resistant, NO can create tension, sometimes tension can draw a woman closer to you than you could ever imagine, saying yes most of the time can inevitably END a relationship you wanted to keep, being distant can actually challenge a woman and help her create a strong emotional bond with you.
I'm not sure what you want out of this with her but the next time she isn't where she say she's going to be just give her a heavy dose of that scorp sting you guys are so good at doling out. If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say scorp sting go back to the scorp board and listen to how the women howl about how the men treat them, that's what I'm talking about.
Shit..For all this, we could have just been FWB's and been just fine. I'm not looking for much outta this though, i'm not feeling as deep on this situations as I would If she was someone I wished to marry or something. Basically what i'm grabbing is I need to just be more confrontational with her, I like her but it seems she needs to be stung just to act normal. At some point, she needs to meet me halfway...I've learned both signs are kind of stubborn but i'll compromise because of my empathy towards people. This freedom concept is where the disconnect lies...My version of freedom is (I'm going to reference the situation up above) "Babe...I'm bout to roll home in a minute...looks like I'm going to stop here for awhile...i'll hit you later when I get up. Night" To me, I still have my freedom but at the same time, I let my girl know whats up. Now if I required her to ask permission to go, I could see restricting her freedom but I don't. Just as long as I know whats up..I'm good.
"This freedom concept is where the disconnect lies...My version of freedom is (I'm going to reference the situation up above) "Babe...I'm bout to roll home in a minute...looks like I'm going to stop here for awhile...i'll hit you later when I get up. Night" To me, I still have my freedom but at the same time, I let my girl know whats up. Now if I required her to ask permission to go, I could see restricting her freedom but I don't. Just as long as I know whats up..I'm good."
We define freedom differently than others. Freedom is about being able to be who we are/who we want to be, go were we want to go without having to tell anyone anything but maybe she needs a gentle reminder that she's not in the relationship by herself, that way you don't feel you are confronting her, you are reminding her that she's not in this by herself and you would appreciate her communicating to you when her plans change, if she insist on being distant and cold then the relationship probably won't work out. Scorp and Aqua is a lot of work. Aquarius females are very independent.
There is a difference between saying "don't tell me you're going home and you're not because if i'd done the same" and saying I was under the impression you were going home, hey look we are a couple, I like being with you, you aren't in this relationship all by yourself, understand something about me, it's important that I know whats up..If I know then I'm good. One way is confrontationl eg controlling, the other way is being open to giving her the freedom she needs to feel independent but reminding her to think about someone other than herself.
I think it's important that she KNOW what's important to you.
Ahhh...Point taken Tiki..I get that. I can do that..that makes sense to me Lol.
@Tacky- My Intent wasn't to control her but I guess that's how it comes off. I was solely focused on the communication aspect of it..she felt the need to tell me she's going home in the first place..might as well mention your plans changed.
Posted by tiki33
I think it's important that she KNOW what's important to you.


Agreed.
Posted by tiki33
"The only thing I said to her is don't tell me you're going home and you're not "
That killed it...I'm an Aqua and I would have given you the cold shoulder. Don't tell me what to do, you are not the boss of me...Remember this, Aqua's can be very rebellious.
"Whats going on here..did I turn right when I should have turned left? I'm kind of confused and the thing about me is...the more distant she gets, the less I care to fix it. I'm not really interested in chasing folks..."
Tell her no the next time she pulls the whole get me and my friends trees stunt, we hate push over beta type males, RESISTANCE, give her a heavy dose of resistance and she'll cling to you, no literally she will.
Depending on what kind of Aqua she is, well you'll most likely end up having to be really firm with her, IMO she's bored, we grow bored with easy men real fast so throw her some excitement, be mean LOL I know I might get cut up for saying that but depending on her level of maturity you may have to be a bit more challenging, NO will do it each and every time, the tables will flip and she'll be getting YOU some tree's to win your love and affection. Don't be mean all of the time, you have to balance it out between mean/resistant and nice, being too resistant will send her to the hills forever, she has to feel she's making progress with you or she'll grow bored of that challenge and move on.
WE CAN BE WEIRD LIKE THAT....Some men can't hang with it, some can.

tiki is right. I agree 100% . No need to add anything more. I'm an Aqu myself.
you def scared her off with the controlling tactic. i understand where you are coming from, but you as a scorpio may not be noticing that you are being controlling because it is part of your dna and you are bred hat way.
a long time ago i decided to give this scorpio chic the timee of day .all of a sudden she would call me constantly in one day asking "where are you? when are you coming by? why are you going there?".Being me i laughed thinking she might be joking naturaly, then i thought "she cant be serious", so i laughed again at the thought. As soon as she did that, the interest went out the window instantly, and this was like a week in. we need freedom, plus the notion of expecting something from us at your coordinates, we find as a limitation to the universe's flow. notice when your girl speaks she prob may start a conversation about something concerning a topic that an entire group of people may comment on if they were in the same room as you, not about something personal about "you" or "her" specifically. that type of talk would be another definition of smothering. scorpios like to antagonize people who may have a slight difference of opinion or way of life, then they take it personal as a vendetta lmao. thats why i just become distant friends with them, nothing wrong with them being the way they are, i just cant handle that asking "why" for everything, you have a brain use it! and you might find out.
Posted by nyc125
you def scared her off with the controlling tactic. i understand where you are coming from, but you as a scorpio may not be noticing that you are being controlling because it is part of your dna and you are bred hat way.
a long time ago i decided to give this scorpio chic the timee of day .all of a sudden she would call me constantly in one day asking "where are you? when are you coming by? why are you going there?".Being me i laughed thinking she might be joking naturaly, then i thought "she cant be serious", so i laughed again at the thought. As soon as she did that, the interest went out the window instantly, and this was like a week in. we need freedom, plus the notion of expecting something from us at your coordinates, we find as a limitation to the universe's flow. notice when your girl speaks she prob may start a conversation about something concerning a topic that an entire group of people may comment on if they were in the same room as you, not about something personal about "you" or "her" specifically. that type of talk would be another definition of smothering. scorpios like to antagonize people who may have a slight difference of opinion or way of life, then they take it personal as a vendetta lmao. thats why i just become distant friends with them, nothing wrong with them being the way they are, i just cant handle that asking "why" for everything, you have a brain use it! and you might find out.


+1
I love asking "why and how" . It's great to understand how and why come to this conclusion, etc but if they can't do it themselves, I will try to solve it myself. Mysteries in the universe attract me. Human is one of it. Empathy is easily drawn out from understanding . Then it comes nurturing the wounds of the wounded if necessary. Of course, it won't be a holding your hand through the path but it's a little smile and a hug and "I will leave you alone to think" thing then wandering off myself.
Posted by tiki33
"The only thing I said to her is don't tell me you're going home and you're not "
That killed it...


Lol i was bouta quote that same thing but tiki already said everything perfectly. wut u said is def wut killed it esp since u said everything was fine up until then. then there u go...
if the dude i was just messin w/ told me that i'd b thinkin "whaaaat the fuuuuuck?!" haha or "r u kidding me?". any indication of control, overpowering emotion, or sense of trying to lock us down is wut can make us disappear in an instant. even if that's not your intent, it's just a reflex. n idk about my other fellow aquas, but wut makes me become MIA w/o an explanation is b/c im not an emotional person so i couldn't explain y wut u said bothered me. it's just easier to flee. hopefully that gives sum insight to her thought process for u smile
Posted by tiki33
Aqua females depending on her age can can be flighty, we go were we feel we need to go and we won't give you an explanation unless you demand one, we do what we wanna do and it may not be what you expect her to do all of the time, we are forever stuck in our own heads and we may say/do something and end up doing something else, FREEDOM we need a sign that can give us that freedom to change our minds


+1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
amen! lol
LOL@aquarius21....You feel me, that's just how we are, love it or leave it and I think Scorp dude decided to leave it and broke it off with her...Probably for the best.
Yea, I checked out on her @ $ $ . I got what you were saying but hey, it was already too late. She was just as ready as I was Lol. Funny thing is, now she just texts me out of no where like "What You Doing" things like that...What's this about? She even still wants me to come to her bday party thats coming up. This sh!t is weird...
What you call weird is pretty normal behavior for some Aqua's. If she considers you a friend she will still reach out to you especially if you were friends before you got together or shared a deep friendship bond.
Friendship is very important to Aqua's, sometimes our friends can be lumped in with our lovers, that's how important friends are to us. She may agree you are not good as lovers but still want to preserve the friendship part of the relationship.
Posted by ScorpioMackin
Yea, I checked out on her @ $ $ . I got what you were saying but hey, it was already too late. She was just as ready as I was Lol. Funny thing is, now she just texts me out of no where like "What You Doing" things like that...What's this about? She even still wants me to come to her bday party thats coming up. This sh!t is weird...


i love it lol
Posted by tiki33
What you call weird is pretty normal behavior for some Aqua's. If she considers you a friend she will still reach out to you especially if you were friends before you got together or shared a deep friendship bond.
Friendship is very important to Aqua's, sometimes our friends can be lumped in with our lovers, that's how important friends are to us. She may agree you are not good as lovers but still want to preserve the friendship part of the relationship.


^ agree 100% . that's how i am too. ive had a guy tell me b4 "we aint friends!" n im like "we're not?!" hahaha