Update...
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by LeoAqua on Friday, November 7, 2008 and has 2 replies.
So you all know the history...
and are probably wondering what the hell's happened...
I managed to get him to go to therapy with me...I go on a weekly basis just to deal with everyday stresses (I'm working on the biggest civil's project ever undertaken in Africa and it's rather stressful at times)...so I got him to go with me...this didn't work...he felt that I already had a relationship with the therapist and that her advise would be one-sided - this was obviously bullshit she's a professional but I could understand him feeling this way. So she suggested and accepted seeing her partner. I don't know what they discuss, he's pretty quiet about it (like I am about mine), but I have noticed a distinct difference in him.
He's a lot calmer about things, has cut down tremendously on the booze (I guess he's found an alternative outlet for whatever anguishes he carries)and well things are smoother. It'll take a long time for full recovery, but I respect him dearly for trying. Most men wouldn't. He feels terrible about what happened and still apologizes at the most random times. I've told him I forgave him the minute he realised his mistake and did something about it.
I don't think he has a bad temper or goes around slapping people I just think something, perhaps a build up of everything (lost a major contract, his mom's been diagnosed with cancer, his dog had to go in for a major op, his grandmother had a mild heart attack) happened and I pushed the wrong buttons at the wrong time. Problem is that we cannot ever have a repeat and I guess that what the therapy is helping him with is dealing with his anxieties and anguishes and letting them out rather than bottling them up until he explodes...I've noticed that although therapy never gets discussed he's now coming home and actually telling me all about his day, his upsets, his happy stories..everything. He never used to talk about anything negative...used to keep it all in.
So there's progress....
and are probably wondering what the hell's happened...
I managed to get him to go to therapy with me...I go on a weekly basis just to deal with everyday stresses (I'm working on the biggest civil's project ever undertaken in Africa and it's rather stressful at times)...so I got him to go with me...this didn't work...he felt that I already had a relationship with the therapist and that her advise would be one-sided - this was obviously bullshit she's a professional but I could understand him feeling this way. So she suggested and accepted seeing her partner. I don't know what they discuss, he's pretty quiet about it (like I am about mine), but I have noticed a distinct difference in him.
He's a lot calmer about things, has cut down tremendously on the booze (I guess he's found an alternative outlet for whatever anguishes he carries)and well things are smoother. It'll take a long time for full recovery, but I respect him dearly for trying. Most men wouldn't. He feels terrible about what happened and still apologizes at the most random times. I've told him I forgave him the minute he realised his mistake and did something about it.
I don't think he has a bad temper or goes around slapping people I just think something, perhaps a build up of everything (lost a major contract, his mom's been diagnosed with cancer, his dog had to go in for a major op, his grandmother had a mild heart attack) happened and I pushed the wrong buttons at the wrong time. Problem is that we cannot ever have a repeat and I guess that what the therapy is helping him with is dealing with his anxieties and anguishes and letting them out rather than bottling them up until he explodes...I've noticed that although therapy never gets discussed he's now coming home and actually telling me all about his day, his upsets, his happy stories..everything. He never used to talk about anything negative...used to keep it all in.
So there's progress....
*hugs*
thanks for the update
thanks for the update
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