UPDATE: NO interest the BAM...

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by Saddie on Tuesday, January 22, 2013 and has 16 replies.
I posted the story here: http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/No-interest-Then-BAM-3587428.asp
We now have been seeing each other every weekend since (the 1st of Jan)! We have a great time together and when we are not together we will talk on the phone 2-3 hours a night. We connect on every level possible. Well, now I am getting a little worried because on Sunday he said something that kind of threw me off. Friday we spent the afternoon and night together, we as always talked and talked and it was just an all around great night. Saturday he was going to a cook out at his friends. He wanted to invite me but I knew I was not ready and I knew he was worried because he had explained that the last girlfriend he had he just kind of threw her to his friends and he learned his lessson on doing that to someone he loved and cared about because it was like throwing her into the lions den and it had really hurt her. So he did not want to do the same to me. SO I did not go with him on Saturday. Sunday I went over to his house and we spent the day together, and the evening, conversation had come up where he mentioned wanting to give me a key to his place, which I did not say much to because I am the type of person that likes to process information and then react accordingly. Then we were talking about random stuff as we lay in bed and I just laughed and smiled in silence because at the moment I was content. He then asked me "what" I told him in a joking matter that my thoughts were my own. He told me he knew what I was thinking and I said if he knew so well then to tell me what he thought I was thinking....He said " you love me" I hesistated because it caught me off guard.I told him no because while I care about him ALOT I do not love so loosly. He then said good, do not do that but that he felt I was not being truthful. The next morning he insisted I stay at his house while he left to go do some stuff and that he wanted me there when he returned home. I stayed for a while but I did have stuff to do myself so I did end up leaving before he returned. We have plans for dinner one day this week already, but today he seems a little different. DId he not get the answer he wanted from me on Sunday night? I want to talk to him about this and explain that I care for him alot but I do not want to get hurt by loving so fastly. Any advice on how to approach this situation with him?
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I'm wondering why he didn't take you with him to run his errands.
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He went to play golf with the guys from our work.
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Well, he asked you to stay until he got back and you said you would, but you didn't. That might have something to do with it. Not sure.
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I never said if stay until he got back. I told him I had stuff to do. I am asking about what to do about the "love" thing he brought up.
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If I'm in your shoes I'd be the one getting upset because I hate people forcing their feelings on to me like they know me for my entire life. Honestly though love is a word that has different meaning to people.
Advice on the situation? Be in his face and tell him exactly how you feel. If you want to dance around the subject and think about his feelings then go right on ahead because then we'll probably see you more often here on DXP trying to justify his stupid actions.
It's a fair call to say Aquas appreciate honesty no matter how blunt it is.
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That is a good point!
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Posted by Saddie
I never said if stay until he got back. I told him I had stuff to do. I am asking about what to do about the "love" thing he brought up.


I think I misunderstood. Sorry.
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Oh that's annoying. He thought you were thinking you loved him but that wasn't what you were thinking? (or was it and you just didn't want to tell him?) If he just assumed that, I would be so turned off by him. A little arrogant? I had a guy tell me that once, "you're thinking how much you love me", and I wasn't, not even close. My take is he was thinking that about you but is too much of a coward to say it, so he turned the tables on you.
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Posted by truecap
Posted by Saddie
I never said if stay until he got back. I told him I had stuff to do. I am asking about what to do about the "love" thing he brought up.


I think I misunderstood. Sorry.
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It's perfectly fine, it happens.
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Oh that's annoying. He thought you were thinking you loved him but that wasn't what you were thinking? (or was it and you just didn't want to tell him?) If he just assumed that, I would be so turned off by him. A little arrogant? I had a guy tell me that once, "you're thinking how much you love me", and I wasn't, not even close. My take is he was thinking that about you but is too much of a coward to say it, so he turned the tables on you.


I was thinking of how content I was in that moment! Like I said we always have a great time together and he does make me happy, it's not that I couldn't love him but I don't pass it around like candy. I kinda was thinking along the same lines as you were. I just do not know how I should approach this if at all because now it's kinda left undone and unspoken of.
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Take it slow. Do not say "I love you" until you mean it. smile
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Oh that's annoying. He thought you were thinking you loved him but that wasn't what you were thinking? (or was it and you just didn't want to tell him?) If he just assumed that, I would be so turned off by him. A little arrogant? I had a guy tell me that once, "you're thinking how much you love me", and I wasn't, not even close. My take is he was thinking that about you but is too much of a coward to say it, so he turned the tables on you.

I agree very arrogant. Still was he right? I bet he was. Sorry lol i am arrogant sometimes myself. I am so sure of myself that i can read folks, i can make huge mistakes. Like this one time at a bar i met this gal and......
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Posted by Saddie
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Oh that's annoying. He thought you were thinking you loved him but that wasn't what you were thinking? (or was it and you just didn't want to tell him?) If he just assumed that, I would be so turned off by him. A little arrogant? I had a guy tell me that once, "you're thinking how much you love me", and I wasn't, not even close. My take is he was thinking that about you but is too much of a coward to say it, so he turned the tables on you.


I was thinking of how content I was in that moment! Like I said we always have a great time together and he does make me happy, it's not that I couldn't love him but I don't pass it around like candy. I kinda was thinking along the same lines as you were. I just do not know how I should approach this if at all because now it's kinda left undone and unspoken of.
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Just don't say anything. Pretend it didn't even happen. Why make a big deal, so he figured you out, that you have "feelings" for him. Wow, what a surprise!! Why do people do that, they sleep together, share the most intimate part of themselves and then pretend there are no feelings. The feelings are there but he's pushing it by making you express yourself first. Turn off.
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Posted by EvilTurtle
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Oh that's annoying. He thought you were thinking you loved him but that wasn't what you were thinking? (or was it and you just didn't want to tell him?) If he just assumed that, I would be so turned off by him. A little arrogant? I had a guy tell me that once, "you're thinking how much you love me", and I wasn't, not even close. My take is he was thinking that about you but is too much of a coward to say it, so he turned the tables on you.

I agree very arrogant. Still was he right? I bet he was. Sorry lol i am arrogant sometimes myself. I am so sure of myself that i can read folks, i can make huge mistakes. Like this one time at a bar i met this gal and......
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It's easy to read folks when you are sharing yourself with them... but it's best to let them express what they are wanting to express at their own pace. I don't like being told or asked, "you like me right? I can tell" or "I think you love me!". Please spare me, instead of discussing my feelings they should be discussing theirs. Again, arrogance with some degree of immaturity.
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by EvilTurtle
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Oh that's annoying. He thought you were thinking you loved him but that wasn't what you were thinking? (or was it and you just didn't want to tell him?) If he just assumed that, I would be so turned off by him. A little arrogant? I had a guy tell me that once, "you're thinking how much you love me", and I wasn't, not even close. My take is he was thinking that about you but is too much of a coward to say it, so he turned the tables on you.

I agree very arrogant. Still was he right? I bet he was. Sorry lol i am arrogant sometimes myself. I am so sure of myself that i can read folks, i can make huge mistakes. Like this one time at a bar i met this gal and......


It's easy to read folks when you are sharing yourself with them... but it's best to let them express what they are wanting to express at their own pace. I don't like being told or asked, "you like me right? I can tell" or "I think you love me!". Please spare me, instead of discussing my feelings they should be discussing theirs. Again, arrogance with some degree of immaturity.
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lol arrogance with immaturity or large amounts of jager!
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