Why Aquarius Man Wont Commit?
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by marie123 on Friday, June 28, 2013 and has 8 replies.
we met one night through mutual friends, and exchanged numbers. We literally texted every minute of the day and then talked on the phone until 5 am laughing and getting to know each other for about a week, our first "date" was to meet up at the club with all of our friends because we were both really nervous. We talked a little but all of our friends would talking to us seperately it was hard to get together. Towards the end of the night he held my hand in front of his family and friends that were there and would kiss me. His cousin told me he never likes to show public affection and was shocked when he was holding my hand. Once our friends started to leave because the club was closing ( we barely drank any alcohol) he was telling me how he liked me and he had so many butterflys when he would see me and it scared him to have these feelings. I told him " i like you so much, i just want to take things slow go on dates and have fun together" we went on our next date and he was a complete gentlemen and barely pulled moves on me, and dropped me off home telling me again how much he liked me, we had a few kisses here and there that night. we then talked on the phone all night like usual and he dropped the bom. " Ilike you but i dont want a girlfriend at all" i freaked out emotionally and was confused because he was telling me all these things you would say if you wanted a realtionship. I told him i had hoped in the future he would be open to dating me and he said he wouldnt be. so i hung up, he then called me none stop saying he didnt want to lose me and i meant so much to him. He didnt want to lose me but he didnt want to date me? What? we then agreed to only talk and date each other but not to make it official. he then left to europe for 2 weeks with his family and friends and we talked but it was hard with the time zones, but he acted vey distant i then asked him again if he was sure he wanted to still only talk to me and make things work. He said he 100% wanted to make things work. I waited for 2 weeks and he came home and didnt make any plans to see me and i said " i dont understand why you are acting so different? you used tot ell me such sweet things" and his responce was " i dont want to tell you i like you, because i dont want you to get hurt i'm still interested in you but i dont want a girlfriend and i dont see anything in the future between us" i was shocked and said thats fine i wish you the best with your life and he said " dont worry we will still
CONTINUED BECAUSE IT CUT OFF *** still be friends" and i said " i can't be friends with someone i have feelings for" and he said " i thought thats what we were this whole time, friends." i never answered and deleted him from everything, our pictures and his number and from social networks sites. i was so hurt and then 3 days later he sends me a snap chat of him.. like is this a joke? ive never witness a man that would stay up until 5 am just talk to me or hear about my day or stay on skype until he fell asleep and texted me every second of the day if he wasnt interested in a realtionship and didnt aim for sex? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
He's 20 years old, so that explains a lot. I told him before i decided to delete him from everything that i wouldn't mind keeping it the way it was and going on dates and he kept saying that it would only hurt me and there was no point to it and i just didn't want to believe the facts.
marie123,
From what I've known, Aquas are always know to base a relationship on friendship. They find it comfortable and easy rather than putting a label on it. It sounds like he was very comfortable around you. I mean he opened up to you, took you out etc.. that??s a big thing for them. You said it yourself you enjoyed his company etc right? question is can you keep it how it was before or would u completely want to cut him out of your life?
From what I've known, Aquas are always know to base a relationship on friendship. They find it comfortable and easy rather than putting a label on it. It sounds like he was very comfortable around you. I mean he opened up to you, took you out etc.. that??s a big thing for them. You said it yourself you enjoyed his company etc right? question is can you keep it how it was before or would u completely want to cut him out of your life?
-_-sorta sounds like me....hahaha oh man you sorta made me see how i was like with my boyfriend. We started off as friends, i did the similar actions of your aqua man...rejecting responsibility, word play, being "honest" (to a certain degree), being sweet, selfish...
He would confess his feelings and all i did was the above. I always wanted to see him and hang out with him. yet i would say "we are just friends" it broke his heart.then finally i realized...i liked him and i told him. We got together and from my boyfriends perspective it was really hard to trust me...Analyzing the situation, i now understand...that i fell in love with my boyfriend even when we were friends, i just didnt know it consciously. Its as if i was testing to see if he is someone i should open up with. I should reveal myself to. As time went by, 2 months i confessed my feelings for him. Now we are together.
From my story, i could be biased, but i would think that your aqua is genuine in what he has said to you. He isn't ready for a relationship. However, it may not be because you are not what he wants, its probably more introspective. He probably deep down is afraid of rejection, doest think he has what it takes to make a relationship, yet he knows that he enjoys your company. who you are...being friends with you isn't for you but for him to come to the realization that i went through. He wants to see you for you. Being friend is a safe bet to always have a exit if we needed. (sucks i know) Simultaneously, how you handle yourself and develop with him in the friendship wil determine whether or not he will reveal himself to you. It would take weeks even for HIM to realize his feelings. That is a risk you'll have to take, my boyfriend took that risk..knowing he was "friendzoned" but he remained consistent in who he was with me (regardless of intention or goal) That to me makes me love him. Perhaps, you aqua guy just wants to see if you can be friends with him first...that is how a good relationship is built upon anyways.
He would confess his feelings and all i did was the above. I always wanted to see him and hang out with him. yet i would say "we are just friends" it broke his heart.then finally i realized...i liked him and i told him. We got together and from my boyfriends perspective it was really hard to trust me...Analyzing the situation, i now understand...that i fell in love with my boyfriend even when we were friends, i just didnt know it consciously. Its as if i was testing to see if he is someone i should open up with. I should reveal myself to. As time went by, 2 months i confessed my feelings for him. Now we are together.
From my story, i could be biased, but i would think that your aqua is genuine in what he has said to you. He isn't ready for a relationship. However, it may not be because you are not what he wants, its probably more introspective. He probably deep down is afraid of rejection, doest think he has what it takes to make a relationship, yet he knows that he enjoys your company. who you are...being friends with you isn't for you but for him to come to the realization that i went through. He wants to see you for you. Being friend is a safe bet to always have a exit if we needed. (sucks i know) Simultaneously, how you handle yourself and develop with him in the friendship wil determine whether or not he will reveal himself to you. It would take weeks even for HIM to realize his feelings. That is a risk you'll have to take, my boyfriend took that risk..knowing he was "friendzoned" but he remained consistent in who he was with me (regardless of intention or goal) That to me makes me love him. Perhaps, you aqua guy just wants to see if you can be friends with him first...that is how a good relationship is built upon anyways.
Posted by candi3bb
-_-sorta sounds like me....hahaha oh man you sorta made me see how i was like with my boyfriend. We started off as friends, i did the similar actions of your aqua man...rejecting responsibility, word play, being "honest" (to a certain degree), being sweet, selfish...
He would confess his feelings and all i did was the above. I always wanted to see him and hang out with him. yet i would say "we are just friends" it broke his heart.then finally i realized...i liked him and i told him. We got together and from my boyfriends perspective it was really hard to trust me...Analyzing the situation, i now understand...that i fell in love with my boyfriend even when we were friends, i just didnt know it consciously. Its as if i was testing to see if he is someone i should open up with. I should reveal myself to. As time went by, 2 months i confessed my feelings for him. Now we are together.
From my story, i could be biased, but i would think that your aqua is genuine in what he has said to you. He isn't ready for a relationship. However, it may not be because you are not what he wants, its probably more introspective. He probably deep down is afraid of rejection, doest think he has what it takes to make a relationship, yet he knows that he enjoys your company. who you are...being friends with you isn't for you but for him to come to the realization that i went through. He wants to see you for you. Being friend is a safe bet to always have a exit if we needed. (sucks i know) Simultaneously, how you handle yourself and develop with him in the friendship wil determine whether or not he will reveal himself to you. It would take weeks even for HIM to realize his feelings. That is a risk you'll have to take, my boyfriend took that risk..knowing he was "friendzoned" but he remained consistent in who he was with me (regardless of intention or goal) That to me makes me love him. Perhaps, you aqua guy just wants to see if you can be friends with him first...that is how a good relationship is built upon anyways.
Thank you for the help! I ended up snap chatting him back and we share a few occassionaly, and it really made me miss him and i'm one of those girls that wont hold back if i want to say something so i texted him saying " i miss you" and he said " how come?" and i said " i miss all the little things and you being apart of my life" and he responded " we
CUT OFF AGAIN **** and he responded " well i dont know what to tell you." and i said " haha nothing. i just wanted to say i missed you" and he did not respond. at that point my feelings began to change and i realized it truly is over whatever we may have had. A week later i went to the club and he was there, we avoided each other all night and i got on a dancing platform with some of my girlfriends and danced the whole night smiling, the platform was pretty tall so i noticed him staring at me for a while towards the end of the night, but i wasnt sure if it was an " i miss you" stare or a " im glad i didnt date that trashy girl dancing" stare. As the club closed we got pushed next to each other by accident and he winked and gave me a quick hug and i said " how are you?" he said "good" and i left. we snapchatted twice of random things but that's it. It's amazing someone you couldnt go a day without talking to becomes a complete stranger in a matter of seconds
Aquarian's need freedom, above all else. You remove our freedom and we will get trapped inside our own heads. He's 20, he's just discovering his power, all the interesting things he can do. That where "I like you but i dont want a girlfriend at all" comes from, he's likes you but he's afraid you'll get in the way of his fun. You need to show him that you won't and you can do fun things together. Don't need him all the time, but let him know when you do and he'll be happy to be there and help.
New stimulus, new experiences that what he needs. You've caught his attention, he likes you, your special. Joint activities are the key. Talk, just sit him down and start a conversation. He's in a club, tap him on the shoulder and indicate he should follow. Take him to the chillout area and ask him how his days going. He'll love it, no one will have had the balls to do that before. He'll tell you about all his wonderful ideas. Take mental notes and pick one. After don't make contact again, he may or may not it's irrelevant (you'll be in his head anyway). Give it a week and bring it up his idea again. He'll respect the fact you understood the idea and remembered and were listening. Discuss the idea, the practicalities, how can we make that a reality. We get distracted, too many interesting sights and smells. A little nudge, not nagging, that will limit his freedom, just a gentle reminder. He'll create the idea and will love to have someone to show it to(/share it with).
New stimulus, new experiences that what he needs. You've caught his attention, he likes you, your special. Joint activities are the key. Talk, just sit him down and start a conversation. He's in a club, tap him on the shoulder and indicate he should follow. Take him to the chillout area and ask him how his days going. He'll love it, no one will have had the balls to do that before. He'll tell you about all his wonderful ideas. Take mental notes and pick one. After don't make contact again, he may or may not it's irrelevant (you'll be in his head anyway). Give it a week and bring it up his idea again. He'll respect the fact you understood the idea and remembered and were listening. Discuss the idea, the practicalities, how can we make that a reality. We get distracted, too many interesting sights and smells. A little nudge, not nagging, that will limit his freedom, just a gentle reminder. He'll create the idea and will love to have someone to show it to(/share it with).
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