Why do aquas detach?
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by chrisssssstina on Friday, May 22, 2009 and has 10 replies.
I've been with one for a year and he cheats on me. Yet, of course I can't let him go, so we still talk and he still says he loves me. I moved away to college a month ago and he seems a little detached (which NEVER happens.. w/ me at least) but I think it's because he doesn't want commitment at the moment especially with me two hours away, although he still wants to talk how we always have. The only thing that boggles my mind is that he can cheat on his current girlfriend with me..? but, any-who.. not the point.. I've never been able to peg the exact thing that makes aquas get detached, and whenever I bring this whole thing up to him, he just gets mad at me for talking about it. I have no idea how the future will pan out or if he still even wants me in his life.. Sometimes I just want to kill him ;]
Seriously ?
Let him go. Receive your education and enjoy yourself without him.
Let him go. Receive your education and enjoy yourself without him.
Well one, there's not much for him to detach from, considering he's cheated on you so many times. If this Aqua really loved you through his actions versus his words, & yet was still detaching, then I'd tell you that you might need to start worrying. But honey, he detached from you so quickly & so easily the minute you left off for school b/c he knew deep down that he'd never respect or love you the way you deserve. And to an extent, can you blame him for this.
Aqua men are like any other men. The moment they cheat on you, get caught & are taken back, their respect for you is never the same, even though they might come back. And in your case, his respect for you was NEVER there in the first place. He cut off communication with you b/c he was going to anyways, trust me. He just waited until you left so that it'd be easier for you. Even though Aquas can do wrong, they still hate being called out on it, so that explains why he gets instantly upset when you bring it up. He's wondering why you are questioning him when he's clearly SHOWN you that you are not top priority in his life. He was going to cut off all ties with you annyways whether you had left for school or not.
And when an Aqua starts out cheating on you, they'll never have respect for you, no matter how much you beg, change or plead. It's just in our nature. It's the same way for when we love someone & they betray us & how we're never able to really love or trust that person again. It's the exact same for someone we never truly loved in the first place. And so what he's cheating on his new girlfriend for you. That's not something to analyze at this point. All that means is that he's doing the new flame the same way he's done the old flame & WHY you are mentally/physically chasing that is beyond me. When you meet an Aqua who's such a player, it'll be a lonnnnng time before they're actually ready to settle down & change their ways. And all the girls they cheat on, play & betray are NEVER considered as wifey material long term. Never forget that. Leave him alone & start respecting & loving yourself instead of focusing on his love & respect for you
Aqua men are like any other men. The moment they cheat on you, get caught & are taken back, their respect for you is never the same, even though they might come back. And in your case, his respect for you was NEVER there in the first place. He cut off communication with you b/c he was going to anyways, trust me. He just waited until you left so that it'd be easier for you. Even though Aquas can do wrong, they still hate being called out on it, so that explains why he gets instantly upset when you bring it up. He's wondering why you are questioning him when he's clearly SHOWN you that you are not top priority in his life. He was going to cut off all ties with you annyways whether you had left for school or not.
And when an Aqua starts out cheating on you, they'll never have respect for you, no matter how much you beg, change or plead. It's just in our nature. It's the same way for when we love someone & they betray us & how we're never able to really love or trust that person again. It's the exact same for someone we never truly loved in the first place. And so what he's cheating on his new girlfriend for you. That's not something to analyze at this point. All that means is that he's doing the new flame the same way he's done the old flame & WHY you are mentally/physically chasing that is beyond me. When you meet an Aqua who's such a player, it'll be a lonnnnng time before they're actually ready to settle down & change their ways. And all the girls they cheat on, play & betray are NEVER considered as wifey material long term. Never forget that. Leave him alone & start respecting & loving yourself instead of focusing on his love & respect for you
Normally Aquas detach b/c they need a break from their partners or b/c quite simply, their partners have done something wrong and/or questionable. So to get their minds clear & avoid letting their emotions rule the situation, they'll detach & become very distant. It's a protection mechanism Aquas use to make sure that they are never the ones to be "blinded" by love or by someone else. Aquas hate manipulation, hate being in situations that are smuggling them and definetely hate staying in the situation & trying to get their head together all in one. So what do they do? They detach. They stop calling. They act as if you don't matter. And half of the time, if they never loved you in the first place, it's best for the other person to take their detachment seriously & not necessarily just some phase that'll be over temperarily.
When Aquas are in long term relationships they tend to become randomly distant, and they do this even if they love that person too death & would die if they were to lose them. But in your case, I don't even see the point in explaining why he's detached from you b/c I think you already know. He made up his mind right before he cheated on you that you were not someone worthy of his true/real love & once that decision was made, it is non-negotiable.
You're in school now, so move on and find someone better who's words actually match up with their actions. Sure, he's probably still telling you sweet-nothings in your ear b/c he still wants the access to have sex with you. Him having another girlfriend should speak for itself, that you were easily replaced. And if you couldn't see how grimy of a person he was when you had him then you DANG sure can't act like you don't see his true colors now, considering how he's treating his new girlfriend. As far as his new girlfriend is concerned? Better her than you.
When Aquas are in long term relationships they tend to become randomly distant, and they do this even if they love that person too death & would die if they were to lose them. But in your case, I don't even see the point in explaining why he's detached from you b/c I think you already know. He made up his mind right before he cheated on you that you were not someone worthy of his true/real love & once that decision was made, it is non-negotiable.
You're in school now, so move on and find someone better who's words actually match up with their actions. Sure, he's probably still telling you sweet-nothings in your ear b/c he still wants the access to have sex with you. Him having another girlfriend should speak for itself, that you were easily replaced. And if you couldn't see how grimy of a person he was when you had him then you DANG sure can't act like you don't see his true colors now, considering how he's treating his new girlfriend. As far as his new girlfriend is concerned? Better her than you.
yeah I don't understand why Im still around either, I can't just get up and leave though.. I've never ever been that way. Trying to ween myself off of him pretty much right now because HES the one that calls me, so it's hard not to answer. I didn't really post this to talk about my problems though, but thanks for your answers! Aquas kind of suck huh? I think I'm a good person.. at least compared to the people I know, and OF COURSE I get taken advantage of. Kind of leaves you thinking..
"yeah I don't understand why Im still around either, I can't just get up and leave though.. I've never ever been that way. Trying to ween myself off of him pretty much right now because HES the one that calls me, so it's hard not to answer. I didn't really post this to talk about my problems though, but thanks for your answers! Aquas kind of suck huh? I think I'm a good person.. at least compared to the people I know, and OF COURSE I get taken advantage of. Kind of leaves you thinking"
As long as you're type of person that won't just leave, he'll CONTINUE to be the type of person that just cheats.
And honey, please. We are all grown here. If a stalker or killer was calling you, you would make sure NOT to answer that phone. When a relative or friend who gets on our nerves call, we either answer b/c we wanted to or we don't b/c we didn't want to. You're in denial about this. It's okay to be a good, caring, forgiving & great woman. BUT, all those good traits are POINTLESS if they're being taken advantage of by the person you're with. I'm not saying change who you are. You can still have respect for yourself & be yourself at the same time. And what difference does it make who calls who? You might as well be the one calling him b/c you're always willing to go running back to him. And don't think men don't notice when a woman keeps coming back to them after they haven't earned that time, energy & conversation. If you want him so bad, the LAST way to get him is to show him that you have no standards and/or self respect. Think about it
As long as you're type of person that won't just leave, he'll CONTINUE to be the type of person that just cheats.
And honey, please. We are all grown here. If a stalker or killer was calling you, you would make sure NOT to answer that phone. When a relative or friend who gets on our nerves call, we either answer b/c we wanted to or we don't b/c we didn't want to. You're in denial about this. It's okay to be a good, caring, forgiving & great woman. BUT, all those good traits are POINTLESS if they're being taken advantage of by the person you're with. I'm not saying change who you are. You can still have respect for yourself & be yourself at the same time. And what difference does it make who calls who? You might as well be the one calling him b/c you're always willing to go running back to him. And don't think men don't notice when a woman keeps coming back to them after they haven't earned that time, energy & conversation. If you want him so bad, the LAST way to get him is to show him that you have no standards and/or self respect. Think about it
If there was ever a time when he felt bad about cheating on you, that time is NOT now. Let's be honest, you're still talking to him & answering his calls b/c you feel that he's probably the best it's gonna get for right now. I don't know you so I can't call you out & tell you about how low or high your self value & esteem is, BUT one thing that ISN'T rocket science when it comes to men is that: Men use, abuse, betray & step over the women that let them. The reason so many men have so many F-buddies more than girlfriends in their lifetime is b/c it's much more RARE for them to find a woman that puts her self dignity & respect over his needs. Being a good, forgiving & kind person is GREAT, but make sure you only give those gifts out to the people who deserve them. And let's be honest, if you really felt he deserved them, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
Aquas kind of suck huh?"
This situation has absolutely NOTHING to do with his zodiac sign. There are mature & faithful Scorpios, Taurus', & Aquas just like there are immature & unfaithful & uncommiting people of the same sign. This has nothing to do with him as an Aqua b/c you two are not in a committed relationship, thus finding out how Aquas are in committed relationships won't really help you out.
Aquas, when they are in love or respect someone, aren't the ones to cheat. If anything, they are the complete opposite. Aquas are very dedicated to the person they love & if anything always strive to be their partner's prince charming. Any time you're with an Aqua who could careless about how you feel clearly doesn't love you & has already made the decision not to ever commit to you. And once again, once that decision has already been made they will NEVER feel bad for treating you the way they do (b/c they assume/know that you know this, but yet are still willing to give your all--and they see this as YOUR problem) & will only stop taking your benefits until YOU make everything stop!
This situation has absolutely NOTHING to do with his zodiac sign. There are mature & faithful Scorpios, Taurus', & Aquas just like there are immature & unfaithful & uncommiting people of the same sign. This has nothing to do with him as an Aqua b/c you two are not in a committed relationship, thus finding out how Aquas are in committed relationships won't really help you out.
Aquas, when they are in love or respect someone, aren't the ones to cheat. If anything, they are the complete opposite. Aquas are very dedicated to the person they love & if anything always strive to be their partner's prince charming. Any time you're with an Aqua who could careless about how you feel clearly doesn't love you & has already made the decision not to ever commit to you. And once again, once that decision has already been made they will NEVER feel bad for treating you the way they do (b/c they assume/know that you know this, but yet are still willing to give your all--and they see this as YOUR problem) & will only stop taking your benefits until YOU make everything stop!
okokok I get the point! I'm an idiot! haha wellllllll something like that but I'll fix things how I've always fixed things, it seems to work out that way. I wasn't asking about what I should do.. more like why they detach in general I just used my situation as an example. Thanks for all your input though
Oh no I don't think you're an idiot sweety. I just think that you are making big mistakes b/c of the misunderstanding you have about how Aquas work, think & "tick." Aquas detach for these reasons (it's up to you to figure out which of these fits under YOUR Aqua's category:
1. They detach b/c they've made the decision not to attach to you; sometimes they'll tell/show you why and sometimes they won't (it depends on the situation). When an Aqua randomly attaches it's b/c somewhere a long the line they saw something in you that they weren't willing to accept, adjust to or adapt to. And so to do you a favor, they detach so that there is no further confusion & so that you'll naturally move on (assuming you're the kind of person that won't chase after something that isn't chasing you back).
2. They detach b/c they can feel themselves getting too close (emotionally/physically). And even though they can feel themselves falling for you, they aren't quite sure that falling for you will be their best move (b/c they don't yet trust you with their heart). So what will they do? They'll detach, distance themselves from you for a little while OR cut off all communication with you b/c it's a protection shield against their vulnerable, & wild emotions.
3. They are going through something in their life that they are not yet ready to share with you. And instead of bringing you down & putting their emotions off on you, they'll detach alltogether to avoid from their partner's feeling stuck, responsible or overwhelmed. And in this case, Aquas still feel that they are doing you a favor in these situations.
1. They detach b/c they've made the decision not to attach to you; sometimes they'll tell/show you why and sometimes they won't (it depends on the situation). When an Aqua randomly attaches it's b/c somewhere a long the line they saw something in you that they weren't willing to accept, adjust to or adapt to. And so to do you a favor, they detach so that there is no further confusion & so that you'll naturally move on (assuming you're the kind of person that won't chase after something that isn't chasing you back).
2. They detach b/c they can feel themselves getting too close (emotionally/physically). And even though they can feel themselves falling for you, they aren't quite sure that falling for you will be their best move (b/c they don't yet trust you with their heart). So what will they do? They'll detach, distance themselves from you for a little while OR cut off all communication with you b/c it's a protection shield against their vulnerable, & wild emotions.
3. They are going through something in their life that they are not yet ready to share with you. And instead of bringing you down & putting their emotions off on you, they'll detach alltogether to avoid from their partner's feeling stuck, responsible or overwhelmed. And in this case, Aquas still feel that they are doing you a favor in these situations.
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