WTF
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by michellemabelle on Wednesday, August 31, 2011 and has 34 replies.
Ok so Im cappy fem with aqua guy. And 2 aqua parents. My aqua dad is the kindest man you could ever meet. My aqua boyfriend.......things are deteriorating atm.
What my understanding is, is this. Aqua want to develop psychic knowledge. Theyre interested in vibes and energies. They develop all this knowledge but the question is WHY? Is this why they are paranoid about being invaded and manipulated? Because they are developing this knowledge so they can invade and manipulate? I feel totally dominated and ordered around. For a starsign that wants freedom aqua is certainly willing to not give freedom to those they love but rather totally control them. Add the aggressive bluntness and mind games to get the person to obey and it turns from love, warmth and FUN into a relationship filled with bitterness, reluctance and withdrawn behaviour.
And then you have the great teachings. All the aqua knowledge built up, imparted upon the squashed person to 'help them' learn. And of course if they dont learn then one has to adopt more aggressive strategies to ram the lesson home.
Whatever happened to the benevolence is what I want to know. I think its lost somewhere in the twisted relationships and resentment that builds up as those twisted relationships go on and on.
What my understanding is, is this. Aqua want to develop psychic knowledge. Theyre interested in vibes and energies. They develop all this knowledge but the question is WHY? Is this why they are paranoid about being invaded and manipulated? Because they are developing this knowledge so they can invade and manipulate? I feel totally dominated and ordered around. For a starsign that wants freedom aqua is certainly willing to not give freedom to those they love but rather totally control them. Add the aggressive bluntness and mind games to get the person to obey and it turns from love, warmth and FUN into a relationship filled with bitterness, reluctance and withdrawn behaviour.
And then you have the great teachings. All the aqua knowledge built up, imparted upon the squashed person to 'help them' learn. And of course if they dont learn then one has to adopt more aggressive strategies to ram the lesson home.
Whatever happened to the benevolence is what I want to know. I think its lost somewhere in the twisted relationships and resentment that builds up as those twisted relationships go on and on.
I hate to rave-on but I mentioned this in another thread on the Capricorn Page...
Capricorns and Aquarius is what I call a "Disposable" friendship...
A Cappy myself, I have an Aquarian housemate and we only "Get On" because we live under the same roof, otherwise we wouldnt have anything to do with each other. I had an Aquarian workmate and my relationship with her was exactly the same, we "Got Along" because we had no choice sitting next to each other for 8hrs a day.
Other than a Surface Friendship, there is "Nothing" between a Cap and Aquarius
Both of the Aquarians, although friendly enough, are not warm people, very matter-of-fact and clinical minded, I actually have to bite my lip because it doesnt take much for either of them to really irritate me.
My housemate went out the other day and left the front door wide open, when the other housemate (a Taurus) subtly pointed out the dangers of "Theives" he replied "Well, if they steal it, they must need it more than me" forgetting that there is the property of two others in this house also....I cant respect anyone who thinks like that, they have no credibility with me whatsoever.
In a nutshell, as a Cap, I find Aquua's self-centred and wishy-washy. Give me a Taurus anyday :-)
Capricorns and Aquarius is what I call a "Disposable" friendship...
A Cappy myself, I have an Aquarian housemate and we only "Get On" because we live under the same roof, otherwise we wouldnt have anything to do with each other. I had an Aquarian workmate and my relationship with her was exactly the same, we "Got Along" because we had no choice sitting next to each other for 8hrs a day.
Other than a Surface Friendship, there is "Nothing" between a Cap and Aquarius
Both of the Aquarians, although friendly enough, are not warm people, very matter-of-fact and clinical minded, I actually have to bite my lip because it doesnt take much for either of them to really irritate me.
My housemate went out the other day and left the front door wide open, when the other housemate (a Taurus) subtly pointed out the dangers of "Theives" he replied "Well, if they steal it, they must need it more than me" forgetting that there is the property of two others in this house also....I cant respect anyone who thinks like that, they have no credibility with me whatsoever.
In a nutshell, as a Cap, I find Aquua's self-centred and wishy-washy. Give me a Taurus anyday :-)
Posted by aquagirl24
capricorn is very dominating. aqua does love freedom this is why it doesnt work. its capricorn who manipulates and says its others. capricorn cant see beyond anything but their own ego. the aqua wants freedom and isnt a hypocrite. capricorn is insecure and VERY manipulating, u think WRONG and are sure u are right. u need to look beyond ur own self to understand aqua. aqua does understand others. acts with reason. if u act without a reason aqua gets confused and attacks u to defend him/herself. i dont like to say these things as i know capricorn is a very bastard sign and will use it against aqua. u are CERTAINLY wrong, even if u are supported by others. the support u get from others its because they want something materialistic back from u, well aqua isnt materialistic and wants nothing from u, THAT IS THE PROBLEM.
What a crock. Aqua want to be a dictator they dont respect freedom. They are like a puppet master gleefully enjoying playing with people and their skill in being undetected as the one pulling the strings(scientist). They want freedom but they dont give freedom to others. Im the most undominating person you could ever meet. This guy nagged me for an entire 24 hours to do something he must have asked me 50 times. Yet if ask him to help with something once I need to be taught a lesson because Im restricting freedom. So then there is a whole campaign to 'teach' me set up and 'break' me. Its total hypocrisy. The very things aqua say they dont like being done to them. They do them to people in abundance. What about MY freedom to not be dominated and controlled and manipulated.
Yeah they understand others then use that knowledge to do cruel things for fun under the guise of 'helping' improve the world. Yeah its fun to help people but the use of aggressive tactics is not helping anyone. I havent 'learned' from my 'mistake' of asking for him to do his fair share 1/8 of a very long job he said he would help me with. All Ive learned is that Im being taken for a mug. A woman gave this guy a 25 inch computer monitor to watch his movies as a gift and instead of being civil in return he decided to 'stomp' on her to teach her a lesson not to try to buy friendships with gifts. The word punisher comes to mind. If you do anything nice for me its an attempt to control me and I will punish you. Why the hell not just say how you feel instead of starting up some
Why the hell not just say how you feel instead of starting up some sick cruel mind game tactic. Why does there have to be nasty aggression (yes I have libra in my chart 
)
I honestly feel like a guinea pig in some experiment to increase knowledge of the human psyche and manipulation domination tactics. I actually live in a monastic envrionment and have a very low key personality and this guy has called me a btch and a cnt as a joke. Its all like play fighting to him. Constant nastiness as a joke and jokes about me doing everything whilst he sits on his ass.
)I honestly feel like a guinea pig in some experiment to increase knowledge of the human psyche and manipulation domination tactics. I actually live in a monastic envrionment and have a very low key personality and this guy has called me a btch and a cnt as a joke. Its all like play fighting to him. Constant nastiness as a joke and jokes about me doing everything whilst he sits on his ass.
Don't date him?
Sounds like a Narcissistic type personality. I understand your frustration, nothing to do but save yourself and not date someone whose bringing you down. The libra in your chart can render you very clingy but you appear wise enough to know when something is twisted so instead of being intrigued and attempting to figure it all out like it's some deep secret you need to decode (because really it's about power over you and control over you and has nothing to do with love), instead regain your power by walking away and never go back thus he's the powerless one, he's the loser.
1. All Aquas aren't the same. Comparing your man to your father or to anyone is unfair from the start
2. ALL people have the ability & means to manipulate others. Aquas are no different. Some use these means, others don't. The proof of what I just said is in the fact that your man is 1 way while your dad is the complete opposite.
3. Insecure (keyword) people actually use those means to manipulate others, just like insecure people allow manipulators to manipulate them. A man can't manipulate you w/o your consent
4. If you feel that you're being controlled, you'd be wasting your time to sit & wait for him to suddenly stop wanting to control you. He won't change. But YOU can take some of the power back. Perhaps get out of your oh so bad relationship
5. If you already know he's manipulating you, then why are you "allowing" it to work? It's 1 thing to not know but it's another thing to know & yet continue to stay, all just to complain about something that you CAN change if you really wanted to
6. We get it. He's selfish, lazy, controlling, manipulative & domineering. Why are you still around then? He's not gonna change, especially if he's always got women around that actually put up with it.
2. ALL people have the ability & means to manipulate others. Aquas are no different. Some use these means, others don't. The proof of what I just said is in the fact that your man is 1 way while your dad is the complete opposite.
3. Insecure (keyword) people actually use those means to manipulate others, just like insecure people allow manipulators to manipulate them. A man can't manipulate you w/o your consent
4. If you feel that you're being controlled, you'd be wasting your time to sit & wait for him to suddenly stop wanting to control you. He won't change. But YOU can take some of the power back. Perhaps get out of your oh so bad relationship
5. If you already know he's manipulating you, then why are you "allowing" it to work? It's 1 thing to not know but it's another thing to know & yet continue to stay, all just to complain about something that you CAN change if you really wanted to
6. We get it. He's selfish, lazy, controlling, manipulative & domineering. Why are you still around then? He's not gonna change, especially if he's always got women around that actually put up with it.
i can see how we COULD come across that way..whether or not IT IS that way is a different story until you open up you mind outside yourself..there is no way to makei t work. aquas seriously like aquagirl said go beyond ourselves...there can be many examples but would you udnerstand? not even. we dont even need you to agree. at least give us the freedom to be understood.
and yes i think i can see a little bit of myself that way and to balance i started last year to work on my agree to disagree ..i've also realized what is the point of analyzing constantly for what purpose? to defend? to look paranoid? so i am slowly only using my powers (lol) when necessary other than that i am letting things slide easier than before..that or it could be my libra rising
and yes i think i can see a little bit of myself that way and to balance i started last year to work on my agree to disagree ..i've also realized what is the point of analyzing constantly for what purpose? to defend? to look paranoid? so i am slowly only using my powers (lol) when necessary other than that i am letting things slide easier than before..that or it could be my libra rising
Posted by krysrenee7
1. All Aquas aren't the same. Comparing your man to your father or to anyone is unfair from the start
It is fair to compare my father because that is an example of someone who is an aquarius whho is a wonderful kind gentle thoughtful person so it challenges my view and proves like you said that not all aquarius are the same..which is important is it not?
Posted by candi3bb
i can see how we COULD come across that way..whether or not IT IS that way is a different story until you open up you mind outside yourself..there is no way to makei t work. aquas seriously like aquagirl said go beyond ourselves...there can be many examples but would you udnerstand? not even. we dont even need you to agree. at least give us the freedom to be understood.
and yes i think i can see a little bit of myself that way and to balance i started last year to work on my agree to disagree ..i've also realized what is the point of analyzing constantly for what purpose? to defend? to look paranoid? so i am slowly only using my powers (lol) when necessary other than that i am letting things slide easier than before..that or it could be my libra rising
What I dont understand is how he can be like that yet also have spent 10 years praying to be able to develop love, compassion, patience, kindness, generosity etc etc. This is the main reason Ive stuck with it. Because there must be that side to him somewhere in there. But I also have the experience of knowing that all hobbies are the same..after a while you get bored of them and eventually you hate them. And spiritual is often the same. After 10-20 years of being 'nice' you can come to hate that sort of activity and rebel against it thinking...now I can do all the things I missed out on such as giving those idiots I was foolish enough to be nice to all those years a good kick up the bum.
The reason Im analyzing is I need to be able to cope with the situation or do something to make it better. Because I dont give up easily and he MUST be a good person surely???????????? If you decide you want to save the world give everyone in the world happiness until the end of time, take away everyones suffering and make vows to dedicate your life to that, then you have a hell of a nice side to your personality. Its like Jekyll and Hyde he called himself mr nasty and mr happy and told me he promises to be mr happy next time I see him.
He has this view that 'challenging' people is good for them and he likes to be challenged. But he also pushes people to a breaking point when challenging them. Then theres all this verbal playfighting. He eats a lot of meat and Tao says that increases aggressive energy. His venus is in Aries
My plan is to have a talk...Im trying to get out of the habit of talking in a way that isnt freeing for the other person. I like this freedom concept of aqua and am learning a lot from it. Its basic consideration and cos Im spiritual I wanna improve consideration (sorry about my vents earlier) When we talk Im going to explain this.
Of all the relationships Ive seen Ive never seen a man and woman jokingly caling each other cuss words and being nasty to each other in a fun way as the main way of interacting. I dont want him to change who he is or not be able to be himself so Ive given it a go and it feels like it goes to a bad place. Its not a healthy happy place. Ive seen when the two are nice and dont do that it becomes very happy and healthy. I can try to carry on this way but for me I dont think its going to work. Then ask him what he thinks
He has this view that 'challenging' people is good for them and he likes to be challenged. But he also pushes people to a breaking point when challenging them. Then theres all this verbal playfighting. He eats a lot of meat and Tao says that increases aggressive energy. His venus is in Aries
My plan is to have a talk...Im trying to get out of the habit of talking in a way that isnt freeing for the other person. I like this freedom concept of aqua and am learning a lot from it. Its basic consideration and cos Im spiritual I wanna improve consideration (sorry about my vents earlier
) When we talk Im going to explain this. Of all the relationships Ive seen Ive never seen a man and woman jokingly caling each other cuss words and being nasty to each other in a fun way as the main way of interacting. I dont want him to change who he is or not be able to be himself so Ive given it a go and it feels like it goes to a bad place. Its not a healthy happy place. Ive seen when the two are nice and dont do that it becomes very happy and healthy. I can try to carry on this way but for me I dont think its going to work. Then ask him what he thinks
You wanted advice but yet you're defending him & making excuses for him
It's noble of you that you're looking at this guy from the inside out & that you see this "only comes out once every blue moon" side of him, but it seems like the person he NORMALLY is daily/most of the time is the person you're having a hard time understanding or accepting.
You don't fully understand him, & hey, that's ok.
But are you sure you're not just interpreting this whole thing as you not understanding him, therefore giving yourself an excuse to keep staying around until you fully do OR is it really that you do get him but just aren't as happy with the real him as you'd thought you'd be?
It's noble of you that you're looking at this guy from the inside out & that you see this "only comes out once every blue moon" side of him, but it seems like the person he NORMALLY is daily/most of the time is the person you're having a hard time understanding or accepting.
You don't fully understand him, & hey, that's ok.
But are you sure you're not just interpreting this whole thing as you not understanding him, therefore giving yourself an excuse to keep staying around until you fully do OR is it really that you do get him but just aren't as happy with the real him as you'd thought you'd be?
Capricorns are cool.
I do know one that's extremely selfish though and tries to cover this up by pretending to be caring.
What makes this worse is this particular capricorn is a, uh, "born again" christian...
Ye-ah...
But it's gotta be said: capricorns are the best Earth Sign. The other two are just - NO!
Personally I've never been domineering if the person being dominated doesn't ask for it i.e. isn't clearly going to hurt themselves.
Otherwise I couldn't be fucked about the affairs of others.
I do know one that's extremely selfish though and tries to cover this up by pretending to be caring.
What makes this worse is this particular capricorn is a, uh, "born again" christian...
Ye-ah...
But it's gotta be said: capricorns are the best Earth Sign. The other two are just - NO!
Personally I've never been domineering if the person being dominated doesn't ask for it i.e. isn't clearly going to hurt themselves.
Otherwise I couldn't be fucked about the affairs of others.
"Its like Jekyll and Hyde he called himself mr nasty and mr happy and told me he promises to be mr happy next time I see him."
Google Jekyll and Hyde personality disorder and you'll see Narcissist and Antisocial personality disorder pop up, you can't win...give up now
"My plan is to have a talk...Im trying to get out of the habit of talking in a way that isnt freeing for the other person. "
Are you serious? What's wrong with you? Talking to a man rarely solves anything, ACTION is needed with less words. While you're talking he'll only hear complaining and nagging and bitching and moaning. Stop talking, if you don't like his behavior then don't put up with his behavior, go take care of yourself and your needs, he won't be able to provide you with any secure feelings nor will he be able to fix what's going inside of you so stop looking for that b/c it's not there.
"I dont want him to change who he is or not be able to be himself so Ive given it a go and it feels like it goes to a bad place."
Then leave...If the relationship brings out your worst qualities then why stay? You are responsible for taking good care of yourself and if you are with a man that isn't INSPIRING you to be the best person you can be then it's time to put some distance between the 2 of you.
"I can try to carry on this way but for me I dont think its going to work. Then ask him what he thinks"
It's not about him...You wanna know what he thinks b/c you're seeking validation and HOPE he'll want to change to keep you around which is the ULTIMATE VALIDATION, you won't get it, nope, so if it's not good for you then bounce, you don't need his permission or thoughts to do that.
Google Jekyll and Hyde personality disorder and you'll see Narcissist and Antisocial personality disorder pop up, you can't win...give up now
"My plan is to have a talk...Im trying to get out of the habit of talking in a way that isnt freeing for the other person. "
Are you serious? What's wrong with you? Talking to a man rarely solves anything, ACTION is needed with less words. While you're talking he'll only hear complaining and nagging and bitching and moaning. Stop talking, if you don't like his behavior then don't put up with his behavior, go take care of yourself and your needs, he won't be able to provide you with any secure feelings nor will he be able to fix what's going inside of you so stop looking for that b/c it's not there.
"I dont want him to change who he is or not be able to be himself so Ive given it a go and it feels like it goes to a bad place."
Then leave...If the relationship brings out your worst qualities then why stay? You are responsible for taking good care of yourself and if you are with a man that isn't INSPIRING you to be the best person you can be then it's time to put some distance between the 2 of you.
"I can try to carry on this way but for me I dont think its going to work. Then ask him what he thinks"
It's not about him...You wanna know what he thinks b/c you're seeking validation and HOPE he'll want to change to keep you around which is the ULTIMATE VALIDATION, you won't get it, nope, so if it's not good for you then bounce, you don't need his permission or thoughts to do that.
Some so called born again Christians are complete lame ass liars...It's funny how women still fall for that I'm Christian (born again) nonsense, his actions always end up proving he's a sham lol
Posted by krysrenee7
1. All Aquas aren't the same. Comparing your man to your father or to anyone is unfair from the start
i agree. people of the same sign are generally the same, but technically different. so even tho ur dad n man r both aquas, they may share certain same qualities, but it's the other different signs in our charts that alter and tweak each individual's personality. n that's what makes people of the same sign a little different. so if ur dad is really cool, maybe it's b/c he has a lot of signs in his chart (like water or earth) that r compatible with yours that makes u guys get along better. n with ur man, it could be has signs in his chart that r incompatible with u.
also, an aqua+cap ROMANTIC relationship is significantly diff than an aqua+cap FAMILY/FRIEND relationship. n that goes for any sign. b/c even though ther the same sign, each guy plays a diff kind of role. if u were romantically involved w/ someone like ur dad it'd prob b a lot diff lol
Posted by dogsbody
In a nutshell, as a Cap, I find Aquua's self-centred and wishy-washy. Give me a Taurus anyday :-)
yeah aquas+caps r really incompatible n its understandable u'd prefer a taurus. signs of the same element naturally get along better w/ each other. it goes:
earth + earth
earth + water
water + water
air + air
air + fire
fire + fire
all in all, people can b friends w/ n e one. it just means u'd connect more with someone in one of the equations above, n u'd more likely have conflicts or diff views than someone not in the equation above
*cough cough* saw this online. didn't write it myself so don't shoot the messenger lol
"Capricorns are typically too busy trying to accomplish their goals that they often miss out on the truth of the matter. They avoid all and any ways of foolish thinking. An Aquarius is typically doing what they want. A lot of times the Aquarius does seems foolish to Capricorn, but there are often original and genius and that??s what Capricorn needs to remember. The Capricorn is very critical of the Aquarius. They disregard the theories of an Aquarius as foolish delusion dreams. In all actuality everything the Aquarius does is based on fact. Aquarius actually wins the brains in this duo. The Capricorn is just better mannered. Together they can always create miracles in all kinds of relationship if they decide to overcome their differences."
i was in a relationship w/ a cap n found this to b true. we always fought over who was right n i hate to say it but it was me ahaha n this proves it. aquas tend to know everything, n caps like to THINK they know everything. But dont get too butt hurt! there's some traits i do admire in a cap like ther work ethic n ambition to make money. that's an admirable quality...
but yeah, u can read the whole thing @: http://www.ask-oracle.com/sign-compatibility/capricorn-aquarius/. hope u find it helpful! i found it to b true for the most part
"Capricorns are typically too busy trying to accomplish their goals that they often miss out on the truth of the matter. They avoid all and any ways of foolish thinking. An Aquarius is typically doing what they want. A lot of times the Aquarius does seems foolish to Capricorn, but there are often original and genius and that??s what Capricorn needs to remember. The Capricorn is very critical of the Aquarius. They disregard the theories of an Aquarius as foolish delusion dreams. In all actuality everything the Aquarius does is based on fact. Aquarius actually wins the brains in this duo. The Capricorn is just better mannered. Together they can always create miracles in all kinds of relationship if they decide to overcome their differences."
i was in a relationship w/ a cap n found this to b true. we always fought over who was right n i hate to say it but it was me ahaha n this proves it. aquas tend to know everything, n caps like to THINK they know everything. But dont get too butt hurt! there's some traits i do admire in a cap like ther work ethic n ambition to make money. that's an admirable quality...
but yeah, u can read the whole thing @: http://www.ask-oracle.com/sign-compatibility/capricorn-aquarius/. hope u find it helpful! i found it to b true for the most part
Posted by aquagirl24
why capris are horrible parents??? if u wanna have a baby then u have to stay home look after them and let them grow, they dont grow up themselves, if u dont wanna have a baby, then u can go do ur work.
lol tell me about it
Posted by michellemabelle
I honestly feel like a guinea pig in some experiment to increase knowledge of the human psyche and manipulation domination tactics.
i read that aquas have the ability to make people feel that way. whoops lol. i say get with a pisces instead. it's a better match for u. trust
Posted by aquagirl24
U ARE A FUCKING TYPICAL CAPRICORN!!! IF U OFFER A COMPUTER TO SOMEONE, THEN GIVE IT, INSTEAD OF WANTING IT BACK!!! EITHER GIVE IT OR KEEP IT. U CANT DO BOTH. if u give it, u have given it, if u keep it u kept it. u need to grow up. idiot.
because this is about EVERYTHING not just money, its like having a baby or not havin it. why capris are horrible parents??? if u wanna have a baby then u have to stay home look after them and let them grow, they dont grow up themselves, if u dont wanna have a baby, then u can go do ur work.
the answer is: dont give to anyone so u are SURE noone is EVER GONNA NOT GIVE U STUFF IN RETURN. he didnt ask u for the computer u offered him that. so fuck u.
LOL your in even a more bad way than I am. Sorry you got hurt by a cappy. Its good to vent sometimes.
1st IM NOT A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN its Buddhism. 2nd IT WAS another person who gave him the monitor and he stomped on them. 3rd the job was not a career it was a TASK.
You are distorting what Im saying to include the classic capricorn characteristics. The task was nothing to do with money or a career it was a hobby task. He basically is pushing for me to do all tasks whilst he sits on his ass whether it be household, hobby etc. I love making a man happy doing things for him. But this is because I know I can be nice to someone without them responding by attempting to turn me into an obedient slave.
I dont have a career or money. Im unable to walk and have to use a wheelchair. I dont want any 'stuff' I just want to not be verbally slapped around until I do whatever household or hobby task he has set out for me.
Posted by tiki33
"Its like Jekyll and Hyde he called himself mr nasty and mr happy and told me he promises to be mr happy next time I see him."
Google Jekyll and Hyde personality disorder and you'll see Narcissist and Antisocial personality disorder pop up, you can't win...give up now
Ok I looked this up and yeah it sounds like him. Hes been on his own a lot also because of relationships not working. Im not seeking validation though. I was seeking a partner who is buddhist which is hard to come by. Not many buddhists in England and most of them believe that following 'worldly desires' is opposite to advancing spiritually so they dont want a partner. This is why Im reluctant to give up because part of that is losing someone is on the same planet as me philosophically
Posted by michellemabelle
The reason Im analyzing is I need to be able to cope with the situation or do something to make it better. Because I dont give up easily and he MUST be a good person surely???????????? If you decide you want to save the world give everyone in the world happiness until the end of time, take away everyones suffering and make vows to dedicate your life to that, then you have a hell of a nice side to your personality. Its like Jekyll and Hyde he called himself mr nasty and mr happy and told me he promises to be mr happy next time I see him.
He has this view that 'challenging' people is good for them and he likes to be challenged. But he also pushes people to a breaking point when challenging them. Then theres all this verbal playfighting. He eats a lot of meat and Tao says that increases aggressive energy. His venus is in Aries
My plan is to have a talk...Im trying to get out of the habit of talking in a way that isnt freeing for the other person. I like this freedom concept of aqua and am learning a lot from it. Its basic consideration and cos Im spiritual I wanna improve consideration (sorry about my vents earlier
Of all the relationships Ive seen Ive never seen a man and woman jokingly caling each other cuss words and being nasty to each other in a fun way as the main way of interacting. I dont want him to change who he is or not be able to be himself so Ive given it a go and it feels like it goes to a bad place. Its not a healthy happy place. Ive seen when the two are nice and dont do that it becomes very happy and healthy. I can try to carry on this way but for me I dont think its going to work. Then ask him what he thinks
oh man i know we can be a bit difficult at times...and not all realize we need to re word things and sometimes mend a little. for instance with another air sign we are talking the same way...but they dont take it necessarily as overbearing at times or angry or hurtful but fun light hearted banter and think of it as "passionate dispositions" aquas think by sharing all the bad and the good and every bad thought to someone is the highest form of trust and love actually. if i dont even have the freedom to do so...what is the point? but it took me a long time to learn about "filtering" and achieve the same result.
i think when you talk to him you should say this because it wou
i think when you talk to him you should say this because it would help..in a logical sense... the statement you said above seems to be more judgmental which would cause a string of arguments and its too absolute....simply add "i've been feeling" for guys always start the conversation in this patter "positive negative positive" if they only hear negatives right away they tend to become like a television with static. lost all connectivity
"sweety, we've been together for so long and I've grown to love almost everything about you. YOUR intelligence and witty charming self, your humor and your ardent curiosity makes me know that nothing with you will be mundane. I appreciate your inputs..seriously i do. Recently I"VE BEEN FEELING (not absolute which leaves room to understanding..) a lot of hurt due to the WAY we go about doing "friendly" banter. i totally love it when we do . I'm not saying i want it to drop all together..but WHAT I WOULD PREFER is to just cut out the cuss words and the high tones..(if that is what he does the negative) (now lead into the positive....just for the sake of it) I wish i can be more like you in this sense of being subjective but im ...
you know lacking in that sense...i would love for you to help me out by easing the intensity....i know my defense or my emotional reaction may seem illogical...but humans run on emotions and i would like to grow but it will take time!..do you think you can be a little bit more patient with me than you ALREADY ARE?"
bam i guarantee the aqua will contemplate on it...but since we love talking and cutting people off sometimes..also add "let me finish what i have to say first..."
"sweety, we've been together for so long and I've grown to love almost everything about you. YOUR intelligence and witty charming self, your humor and your ardent curiosity makes me know that nothing with you will be mundane. I appreciate your inputs..seriously i do. Recently I"VE BEEN FEELING (not absolute which leaves room to understanding..) a lot of hurt due to the WAY we go about doing "friendly" banter. i totally love it when we do . I'm not saying i want it to drop all together..but WHAT I WOULD PREFER is to just cut out the cuss words and the high tones..(if that is what he does the negative) (now lead into the positive....just for the sake of it) I wish i can be more like you in this sense of being subjective but im ...
you know lacking in that sense...i would love for you to help me out by easing the intensity....i know my defense or my emotional reaction may seem illogical...but humans run on emotions and i would like to grow but it will take time!..do you think you can be a little bit more patient with me than you ALREADY ARE?"bam i guarantee the aqua will contemplate on it...but since we love talking and cutting people off sometimes..also add "let me finish what i have to say first...
"with aquas you have to approach diplomatically and once you start the conversation "you this you that" "i feel you do this becaue of this and that" it already seems like your closed off and hence it feels like i'll have to first battle those arguments just to make you realize the irrational process..then really get to the issue..and this is annoying during a heart to heart talk..by doing the above pattern...positive Negatives then end in positives and also adding your person feelings and desires and awareness of your part in the issue (we all have a part..even if we feel we did nothing wrong) will help the aqua be more unerstanding than a mad scientist and bantering for the sake of bantering.
if you want to bring up the spiritual stuff..that needs to be at another time. Im reading a book called "crucial confrontations" please purchase it ..it is really useful in not only how to deal with overpowering personalities but also achieve what you want. One of the points stated how we should pick ONE issue to confront not a bunch at the same time. It also teaches us how to confront someone when the same problem happens over and over and why it does..and how to readapt doing so.very insightful...
i've been butting heads with another air sign. a GEMINI ...and we all have to agree that they also can be hard to deal with...but finally we had a breakthrough today...finally hallelujah! as long as two people are willing to keep at it..nothing is impossible..sounds too sentimental but seriously its true...right when we throw in the towel..bam its done for..we become so self absorbed and stubborn!
if you want to bring up the spiritual stuff..that needs to be at another time. Im reading a book called "crucial confrontations" please purchase it ..it is really useful in not only how to deal with overpowering personalities but also achieve what you want. One of the points stated how we should pick ONE issue to confront not a bunch at the same time. It also teaches us how to confront someone when the same problem happens over and over and why it does..and how to readapt doing so.very insightful...
i've been butting heads with another air sign. a GEMINI ...and we all have to agree that they also can be hard to deal with...but finally we had a breakthrough today...finally hallelujah! as long as two people are willing to keep at it..nothing is impossible..sounds too sentimental but seriously its true...right when we throw in the towel..bam its done for..we become so self absorbed and stubborn!
Posted by candi3bb
oh man i know we can be a bit difficult at times...and not all realize we need to re word things and sometimes mend a little. for instance with another air sign we are talking the same way...but they dont take it necessarily as overbearing at times or angry or hurtful but fun light hearted banter and think of it as "passionate dispositions" aquas think by sharing all the bad and the good and every bad thought to someone is the highest form of trust and love actually. if i dont even have the freedom to do so...what is the point? but it took me a long time to learn about "filtering" and achieve the same result.
i think when you talk to him you should say this because it wou
Yeah thanks for this candi it makes total sense that its important to be able to share everything. I think he feels like this. Something to think about for sureclick to expand
Posted by 1two3go
I do know one that's extremely selfish though and tries to cover this up by pretending to be caring.
I have a venus in aqua and I find this totally true with alot of waters signs or earth. It's a way to have a hold on you. Aquas aren't gonna buy into that most of the time. They see past it.
Im gonna tell him its just a matter of being a bit more gentle. Cos of being disabled 15 years Ive got strong depression so its just a case of not forgetting that. If you kick a healthy persons ass its a bit different from someone with strong depression. It takes a lot longer to bounce back if your already on your last legs. So its just the situation. A group of men enjoy winding each other up and thats cool cos they are strong but that isnt my circumstances. Your right I shouldnt say you this and you that Ill just say this is me and how I work. We are still getting to know each other like Im still trying to understand this freedom factor. I just cant handle a lot of ass kicking its not my cup of tea. Cos of my circumstances.
crucial confrontations- Ill look it up.
Cos of the lack of good luck in my life I dont expect a lot. I dont expect anything incredible. I dont expect him to make me happy even. When youve got it all its easy to demand a lot from life but I am very undemanding and my wishes are small. Im easy to please. Some women my age want flowers, meals out, money to buy things, gifts, romance, holidays together etc. Their partner gives them all this and they still end it for some small reason. Ive been with this guy for 3 months and all ive asked so far is that when hes on the toilet doing a number 2 he closes the door so I cant hear all the bum sounds and I told him even though hes farting all the time Im not going to do likewise on principle. So hes closing the door a bit and farting a bit less. Everything else hes enjoying being himself totally. With his other partner he gave up fishing and football but Im doing the fishing and football with him.
The solution needs to be easy. So I think just saying being gentle will work. It can get so complicated when all these relationshiop factors come into play and it get disheartening if any one person has complex needs. Its in his astrology to be domineering from what I read of venus in aries. What he said is if someone communicates their wishes in a way that seems like a command he will do a long stand off and not back down. So gentleness combined with understanding this and I think it will solve it.
Im another saddo on here I see it all the time..people who try and try to make a difficult personality clash resolve..posting for months and they always get the dump him advice but they never listen!
Cos of the lack of good luck in my life I dont expect a lot. I dont expect anything incredible. I dont expect him to make me happy even. When youve got it all its easy to demand a lot from life but I am very undemanding and my wishes are small. Im easy to please. Some women my age want flowers, meals out, money to buy things, gifts, romance, holidays together etc. Their partner gives them all this and they still end it for some small reason. Ive been with this guy for 3 months and all ive asked so far is that when hes on the toilet doing a number 2 he closes the door so I cant hear all the bum sounds and I told him even though hes farting all the time Im not going to do likewise on principle. So hes closing the door a bit and farting a bit less. Everything else hes enjoying being himself totally. With his other partner he gave up fishing and football but Im doing the fishing and football with him.
The solution needs to be easy. So I think just saying being gentle will work. It can get so complicated when all these relationshiop factors come into play and it get disheartening if any one person has complex needs. Its in his astrology to be domineering from what I read of venus in aries. What he said is if someone communicates their wishes in a way that seems like a command he will do a long stand off and not back down. So gentleness combined with understanding this and I think it will solve it.
Im another saddo on here I see it all the time..people who try and try to make a difficult personality clash resolve..posting for months and they always get the dump him advice but they never listen!
"Cos of the lack of good luck in my life I dont expect a lot. I dont expect anything incredible. I dont expect him to make me happy even. When youve got it all its easy to demand a lot from life but I am very undemanding and my wishes are small. Im easy to please. Some women my age want flowers, meals out, money to buy things, gifts, romance, holidays together etc. Their partner gives them all this and they still end it for some small reason. Ive been with this guy for 3 months and all ive asked so far is that when hes on the toilet doing a number 2 he closes the door so I cant hear all the bum sounds and I told him even though hes farting all the time Im not going to do likewise on principle. So hes closing the door a bit and farting a bit less. Everything else hes enjoying being himself totally. With his other partner he gave up fishing and football but Im doing the fishing and football with him."
Reading that made me feel sad but then the toilet part cracked me up.....Appears like you're settling Michelle but hey whatever floats your boat, if you have have strong depression issues I would think you wouldn't pick someone whose going to escalate and exasperate your mental health, 3 months in and you are already complaining because this guy can't even get the "LITTLE" things right, you are asking for way too little, you are not even wanting the bare minimum, desperation is running rampant.
Reading that made me feel sad but then the toilet part cracked me up.....Appears like you're settling Michelle but hey whatever floats your boat, if you have have strong depression issues I would think you wouldn't pick someone whose going to escalate and exasperate your mental health, 3 months in and you are already complaining because this guy can't even get the "LITTLE" things right, you are asking for way too little, you are not even wanting the bare minimum, desperation is running rampant.
from what i collected from the book sometimes not know what "REALLY" is the problem will cause repitition but also in a variety of shapes and forms. but equte to the same thing...
dont' ever bring that thing up about how your not demanding. i will argue that to the death of it. i disagree with it..but i understand that hey if a strong person is incabable then why should i? when i have less reason to be. stop pitying yourself. as if that is what makes a person...its our character and our personality and choices...just cuz you have this life it seems as if you need him to feel bad for you and be more lenient. hey if you weren't, would the argument change? you see as him being an aqua im pretty sure he would feel like your bringing up a completely different argument here.
what i think is the main problem is this:
"i feel that you have been taking my pet peeves too lightly. as if you don't seem to care that i feel bad. Whether or not im right or wrong and vice versa...it is still causing uneasy feelings towards you this has been a repetitive problem. I dont want to feel as if i dont have the right to feel the way i do...and for once i would like it if there is no tug and pull just for something so simple: mutual respect." if he asks...then give him examples if not...then let him apologize. (but not examples about how your disabled and he isn't' that is irrelevant..really it is..) but if you wanna use that you can say it in a different light.
"for instance the other day...you requested (dont use demand its a attack word) a,b,c and i did it for you ...because i give you that respect. however, i know it may sound silly to close the door when your taking a dump..but its a simpler reflection that it bothers me and your actions have been ..a.b.c."
dont' ever bring that thing up about how your not demanding. i will argue that to the death of it. i disagree with it..but i understand that hey if a strong person is incabable then why should i? when i have less reason to be. stop pitying yourself. as if that is what makes a person...its our character and our personality and choices...just cuz you have this life it seems as if you need him to feel bad for you and be more lenient. hey if you weren't, would the argument change? you see as him being an aqua im pretty sure he would feel like your bringing up a completely different argument here.
what i think is the main problem is this:
"i feel that you have been taking my pet peeves too lightly. as if you don't seem to care that i feel bad. Whether or not im right or wrong and vice versa...it is still causing uneasy feelings towards you this has been a repetitive problem. I dont want to feel as if i dont have the right to feel the way i do...and for once i would like it if there is no tug and pull just for something so simple: mutual respect." if he asks...then give him examples if not...then let him apologize. (but not examples about how your disabled and he isn't' that is irrelevant..really it is..) but if you wanna use that you can say it in a different light.
"for instance the other day...you requested (dont use demand its a attack word) a,b,c and i did it for you ...because i give you that respect. however, i know it may sound silly to close the door when your taking a dump..but its a simpler reflection that it bothers me and your actions have been ..a.b.c."
All that explaining which equals to complaining is too much hoop jumping....Just get rid of the assclown if he can't respect you without you having to brow beat it into him.
ok had a chat but he wasnt mega into chatting.....but I think it helped. He said chats make him feel like its getting serious and he just wants to meet once a week..which I agree with. So I told him I just wanna meet like that too so any concerns I was trying to make it more serious are gone.
But the clash is still there about who pays for stuff since we both are incredibly tight wallet holders, and who does tasks. To be honest he does look like he physically has less energy than the average person. And if we all had as tight a wallet as him we probaly wouldnt be in masses of debt having a world reccession.
In a way its good for me then but I need to be more assertive. But I need to get the assertiveness right. So my plan is rather than saying you should pay or you should do this which is controlling.......when I dont want to buy or pay for something for him or do something hes bossing me around to do Im going to say I dont want to do that so Im not going to.
Another example was we had a much better time the last visit and I wanted to say thanks so I bought him a meal out. We went had a nice time and no I didnt expect anything in return. THEn we went elsewhere and wandered around town a while. I decided I needed a cool drink so we went into a shop and he got a drink for himself..then when it came to pay for his drink he pretended to be browsing the shelves as I stood in front of the cashier. Anyway its a battle in a way but in another way it is showing me my own character and getting me to change. Because Im a tight wallet and I can see how it comes across now and am deciding to be more generous. So in a way its helping me as long as its fun and pleasant I dont mind so fingers crossed.
But the clash is still there about who pays for stuff since we both are incredibly tight wallet holders, and who does tasks. To be honest he does look like he physically has less energy than the average person. And if we all had as tight a wallet as him we probaly wouldnt be in masses of debt having a world reccession.
In a way its good for me then but I need to be more assertive. But I need to get the assertiveness right. So my plan is rather than saying you should pay or you should do this which is controlling.......when I dont want to buy or pay for something for him or do something hes bossing me around to do Im going to say I dont want to do that so Im not going to.
Another example was we had a much better time the last visit and I wanted to say thanks so I bought him a meal out. We went had a nice time and no I didnt expect anything in return. THEn we went elsewhere and wandered around town a while. I decided I needed a cool drink so we went into a shop and he got a drink for himself..then when it came to pay for his drink he pretended to be browsing the shelves as I stood in front of the cashier. Anyway its a battle in a way but in another way it is showing me my own character and getting me to change. Because Im a tight wallet and I can see how it comes across now and am deciding to be more generous. So in a way its helping me as long as its fun and pleasant I dont mind so fingers crossed.
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