Need help understanding situation with Aries Man (kind of sort of ex)
This topic was created in the Aries and Virgo Compatibility forum by Candance15 on Monday, December 17, 2018 and has 1 replies.
Our charts:
Me:
Rising Virgo
Sun Virgo
Moon Scorpio
Mercury Virgo
Venus Leo
Mars Taurus
Him:
Rising Not sure, may be Leo
Sun Aries
Moon Leo
Mercury Taurus
Venus Aries
Mars Gemini
Hi all, I need some outside perspective on this confusing situation with Aries man. We were together for 2 years. Our relationship was honestly pretty great, minus the small arguments and misunderstandings that we always seemed to fix before they got worse. When we met, it was like electricity and the closest thing I've felt to love at first sight. I knew from our second date that he was my one, or at least the man I'd actually be happy to marry for the rest of my life. Throughout our relationship, he expressed similar feelings, hinting that he could see us marrying, talking about moving in together and traveling together. Our sex life was great and we were just generally happy. We just... got each other so well.
This past summer, I noticed that our sex life was kind of waning, but we still spent plenty of time together and always made time to cuddle and be intimate. We didn't get to find as much time to date each other like we used to, due to work, our conflicting schedules. He was feeling stress at work (he's a FF/Paramedic) and he had just moved into an apartment with a new roommate, which was causing issues. I was also feeling some stress because I was trying to find new housing and wasn't happy with my current situation. Still, I think we tried to constantly be there for each other.
Sometime in October, Aries man had a massive falling out with is roommate. He had already been growing a little distant, but still made efforts to see me and speak to me. Then after the falling out, he didn't speak to me for a week. This has happened maybe once before, where his life got so disheveled that he ignored me for a week and I made myself give him space (but explained that if needed it, all he had to do was tell me). Then I finally reached out to him to ask him if everything was okay, and he told me we would talk soon. I could see on social media he was spending time with his friends, and I figured it was needed after the things he went through. However, when we finally met up, he began to tell me that he wasn't sure of our relationship anymore, that he wasn't sure of the connection between us and that he was bored (typical). I told him that I was experiencing boredom as well, but figured it was a rut we could fix, that I wanted to discuss our lack of sex recently and that we needed to communicate. He wasn't sure what he wanted and felt it was necessary to break up. We kept talking, and I told him I didn't want to, but I couldn't work on a relationship on my own. We were both extremely upset, crying and holding each other. It seemed like he didn't want to end it but didn't want to be in the relationship either. He told me to give him some time but that we could still talk.
This was probably the worst heartbreak I have ever experienced. I ended up moving into my own apartment and went no contact for nearly two weeks with him because I was so depressed. I knew I needed to focus on myself, but eventually reached back out to him after I finished moving. Surprisingly he responded, and began the very slow process of talking to each other again.
We met up for dinner early November and he gave me a huge hug, telling me that he had missed me. He wanted us to be able to talk again and to work on seeing each other more and working on our communication. I was incredibly relieved to hear this, told him I felt the same. However, it's been incredibly difficult to really get in touch with him. We'll text at times, then I won't hear from him for a few days. He'll reach out, I'll take my time to text back. We'll have ardent conversation then back to nothing. I suggest we go out and of course he's incredibly busy. We went out for a movie after thanksgiving, and it felt great again. I reiterate that I want to be able to spend more time with him when he has the time. He holds my hands and tells me that we will be seeing each other.
Flash forward three weeks, we finally get to see each other again for a concert. He isn't able to meet for dinner due to finances, so I ask if he's okay with me coming to his apartment with beer before we leave. I reiterate that I'll leave after we get back. He's okay with this, so I go over to his apartment. Again, we're completely relaxed around each other, catching up, etc. We've both have lost weight and our in great shape, I show off my new hair style . We play video games (as we used to do often), he shows me his room, and just enjoy our time before we leave. We go to the club for the s how, realize that we hated it there, decide to leave on a whim, and end up at another bar. We spend this time chatting more, but never really go into depth about us or where we stand. Before we leave, Aries man suggests that he's okay with me staying over as driving back in the rain while drinking wouldn't be idea. I think on it and take him up on his offer as I had been drinking. We get back, he warms me up some food. I can't help but think about how familiar this all feels, and it makes me even more confused. He offers for me to either sleep on the couch or in his bed, and says he doesn't care either way. I tell him if he's' okay with it, I wouldn't mind the bed, thinking he'd take the couch. He tells me that's probably a wise choice (since his roommate had a party recently). I'm nervous, but we head back to his room. We're both in his bed and watch anime (another of our favorite pasttimes) and while we aren't touching, we're both incredibly relaxed. He again comments that he notices I've gotten more lean. We eventually fall asleep. At one point I do wake up to see he has his arm resting against me, if for at least a few minutes. We wake up the next morning and he has to go to the gym before meeting with friends. I get dressed and thank him for allowing me to sleep in his bed, which surprised me. He asked why, but gave me a huge hug. I told him I had a great time with him again even if we didn't see the concert we planned. He told me he felt the same, and that he wanted to see my new apartment. I told him I'd like to make him dinner. We keep hugging and I realize we're both kind of stalling. At one point while hugging, he kisses my neck.
I get home and let him know again that I had a great time. That we should go see another concert in January and that I'd like to see him before then too. He says we definitely should, he's all about it and that dinner should be involved.
But now we're back to today, where he's again not as responsive to the few texts I've sent him. I guess I just don't know where we actually stand with each other. I try not to come off as desperate around him; I spend a lot of time focusing on myself and moving forward with the best of my ability. But the truth is I miss him so much. I hadn't been able to stop loving him, and this weekend made me remember why I still do. It just never feels wrong with him, and even though I feel like I shouldn't have slept in his bed, it was so comforting. I don't' know if or when we'll fully get back together. I don't even know if he wants to commit to me again, and I'm not too naive to believe he isn't talking to other women possibly. It's just hard, and I think I just need some clarity out of this confusion. But all I do know is that I love him. I don't think he hates me and I think he still cares for me, or why else would he react this way the few times we've gotten together.
Me:
Rising Virgo
Sun Virgo
Moon Scorpio
Mercury Virgo
Venus Leo
Mars Taurus
Him:
Rising Not sure, may be Leo
Sun Aries
Moon Leo
Mercury Taurus
Venus Aries
Mars Gemini
Hi all, I need some outside perspective on this confusing situation with Aries man. We were together for 2 years. Our relationship was honestly pretty great, minus the small arguments and misunderstandings that we always seemed to fix before they got worse. When we met, it was like electricity and the closest thing I've felt to love at first sight. I knew from our second date that he was my one, or at least the man I'd actually be happy to marry for the rest of my life. Throughout our relationship, he expressed similar feelings, hinting that he could see us marrying, talking about moving in together and traveling together. Our sex life was great and we were just generally happy. We just... got each other so well.
This past summer, I noticed that our sex life was kind of waning, but we still spent plenty of time together and always made time to cuddle and be intimate. We didn't get to find as much time to date each other like we used to, due to work, our conflicting schedules. He was feeling stress at work (he's a FF/Paramedic) and he had just moved into an apartment with a new roommate, which was causing issues. I was also feeling some stress because I was trying to find new housing and wasn't happy with my current situation. Still, I think we tried to constantly be there for each other.
Sometime in October, Aries man had a massive falling out with is roommate. He had already been growing a little distant, but still made efforts to see me and speak to me. Then after the falling out, he didn't speak to me for a week. This has happened maybe once before, where his life got so disheveled that he ignored me for a week and I made myself give him space (but explained that if needed it, all he had to do was tell me). Then I finally reached out to him to ask him if everything was okay, and he told me we would talk soon. I could see on social media he was spending time with his friends, and I figured it was needed after the things he went through. However, when we finally met up, he began to tell me that he wasn't sure of our relationship anymore, that he wasn't sure of the connection between us and that he was bored (typical). I told him that I was experiencing boredom as well, but figured it was a rut we could fix, that I wanted to discuss our lack of sex recently and that we needed to communicate. He wasn't sure what he wanted and felt it was necessary to break up. We kept talking, and I told him I didn't want to, but I couldn't work on a relationship on my own. We were both extremely upset, crying and holding each other. It seemed like he didn't want to end it but didn't want to be in the relationship either. He told me to give him some time but that we could still talk.
This was probably the worst heartbreak I have ever experienced. I ended up moving into my own apartment and went no contact for nearly two weeks with him because I was so depressed. I knew I needed to focus on myself, but eventually reached back out to him after I finished moving. Surprisingly he responded, and began the very slow process of talking to each other again.
We met up for dinner early November and he gave me a huge hug, telling me that he had missed me. He wanted us to be able to talk again and to work on seeing each other more and working on our communication. I was incredibly relieved to hear this, told him I felt the same. However, it's been incredibly difficult to really get in touch with him. We'll text at times, then I won't hear from him for a few days. He'll reach out, I'll take my time to text back. We'll have ardent conversation then back to nothing. I suggest we go out and of course he's incredibly busy. We went out for a movie after thanksgiving, and it felt great again. I reiterate that I want to be able to spend more time with him when he has the time. He holds my hands and tells me that we will be seeing each other.
Flash forward three weeks, we finally get to see each other again for a concert. He isn't able to meet for dinner due to finances, so I ask if he's okay with me coming to his apartment with beer before we leave. I reiterate that I'll leave after we get back. He's okay with this, so I go over to his apartment. Again, we're completely relaxed around each other, catching up, etc. We've both have lost weight and our in great shape, I show off my new hair style . We play video games (as we used to do often), he shows me his room, and just enjoy our time before we leave. We go to the club for the s how, realize that we hated it there, decide to leave on a whim, and end up at another bar. We spend this time chatting more, but never really go into depth about us or where we stand. Before we leave, Aries man suggests that he's okay with me staying over as driving back in the rain while drinking wouldn't be idea. I think on it and take him up on his offer as I had been drinking. We get back, he warms me up some food. I can't help but think about how familiar this all feels, and it makes me even more confused. He offers for me to either sleep on the couch or in his bed, and says he doesn't care either way. I tell him if he's' okay with it, I wouldn't mind the bed, thinking he'd take the couch. He tells me that's probably a wise choice (since his roommate had a party recently). I'm nervous, but we head back to his room. We're both in his bed and watch anime (another of our favorite pasttimes) and while we aren't touching, we're both incredibly relaxed. He again comments that he notices I've gotten more lean. We eventually fall asleep. At one point I do wake up to see he has his arm resting against me, if for at least a few minutes. We wake up the next morning and he has to go to the gym before meeting with friends. I get dressed and thank him for allowing me to sleep in his bed, which surprised me. He asked why, but gave me a huge hug. I told him I had a great time with him again even if we didn't see the concert we planned. He told me he felt the same, and that he wanted to see my new apartment. I told him I'd like to make him dinner. We keep hugging and I realize we're both kind of stalling. At one point while hugging, he kisses my neck.
I get home and let him know again that I had a great time. That we should go see another concert in January and that I'd like to see him before then too. He says we definitely should, he's all about it and that dinner should be involved.
But now we're back to today, where he's again not as responsive to the few texts I've sent him. I guess I just don't know where we actually stand with each other. I try not to come off as desperate around him; I spend a lot of time focusing on myself and moving forward with the best of my ability. But the truth is I miss him so much. I hadn't been able to stop loving him, and this weekend made me remember why I still do. It just never feels wrong with him, and even though I feel like I shouldn't have slept in his bed, it was so comforting. I don't' know if or when we'll fully get back together. I don't even know if he wants to commit to me again, and I'm not too naive to believe he isn't talking to other women possibly. It's just hard, and I think I just need some clarity out of this confusion. But all I do know is that I love him. I don't think he hates me and I think he still cares for me, or why else would he react this way the few times we've gotten together.
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