Aries Confusing the hell out of me......
This topic was created in the Aries forum by BlueVirgo on Monday, January 8, 2007 and has 14 replies.
Okay as I have posted previously I am pregnant and have been dealing with an aries on and off for three and half years....
It has been a painful up and down cycle.......He come and goes....before it was because of a ex with child......He claims to have stop seeing her in that way.....
I Open up to him and he wasn't as receptive as I felt he should have been...but admitted to doing that to hurt me because I hurt him.....
I still worry about the ex because she has a child by him as well and he was dating her when we met and he left her to be with me and so on if you read my previous post.......
Anyhow....I stop accepting contact from him and he kept trying to make contact...
I finally accept a call and he goes on and on expressing feeling I never knew he would admit.........
He tells me he has mad love for me and how I make him feel less than a man at times from my actions...... I guess due to me be being very independent....
I never meant to make him feel this way and told him I never knew he felt this way and everytime I would try to express or give my opinion about how he is or the way things are between us he goes in to this kid fit yelling I'm not listening(saying this repeatedly until I get quiet and listen to him).....
He promises to be a good dad......but I ask what was his intentions as far as us ......I asked him directly you don't want us to be together and he says yes.....and says he has mad love for me......
What is that mad love.....what ever happen to I love you.......
Anyway after this deep conversation were he open up to me like he hasn't before no word from him.......
Are aries usually this confusing?
It has been a painful up and down cycle.......He come and goes....before it was because of a ex with child......He claims to have stop seeing her in that way.....
I Open up to him and he wasn't as receptive as I felt he should have been...but admitted to doing that to hurt me because I hurt him.....
I still worry about the ex because she has a child by him as well and he was dating her when we met and he left her to be with me and so on if you read my previous post.......
Anyhow....I stop accepting contact from him and he kept trying to make contact...
I finally accept a call and he goes on and on expressing feeling I never knew he would admit.........
He tells me he has mad love for me and how I make him feel less than a man at times from my actions...... I guess due to me be being very independent....
I never meant to make him feel this way and told him I never knew he felt this way and everytime I would try to express or give my opinion about how he is or the way things are between us he goes in to this kid fit yelling I'm not listening(saying this repeatedly until I get quiet and listen to him).....
He promises to be a good dad......but I ask what was his intentions as far as us ......I asked him directly you don't want us to be together and he says yes.....and says he has mad love for me......
What is that mad love.....what ever happen to I love you.......
Anyway after this deep conversation were he open up to me like he hasn't before no word from him.......
Are aries usually this confusing?
roxi is spot on here VirgoBlue - listen to her...Us Aries are very honest and I agree, He was acknowledging to you the way he feels about your actions, just isn't right for him. He is communicating to you - ask him exactly what it is that you do that makes him feel that way. If this is something you desire to work on and change - awesome. Aries NEED open communication and honesty in a long term relationship.
Best wishes!
Best wishes!
thanks gem for clearing up what mad love means and hey roxi......
First he says he wants to be single after expressing these feelings and then I told him he was wasting my time and was ready to hang up, he changes the conversation in a different gear and says yes he wants to be with me but I don't want him......
Its like he tries to get what I feel out of me first before he say how he really feels....
and your right I am probably confusing the hell out him because I'm confused myself.......cause I am a all actions girl and I may like to communicate things for complete understanding but I also believe you have to show and prove as well......I know what he did was a big thing to express those feelings but why go so deep and then disappear.......
It seems as if he is afraid of me because he mentioned he feels I try to intentionally hurt him sometimes to get a reaction...... I love the iodiot with all my heart and I know I find it hard expressing myself with virgo sun and cappy moon but I think the cancer asc makes my feelings come to surface...... girl he so stubborn and he tries to talk only when he wants to talk.....if I initiate a conversation, he won't give me an answer right then he wait and come back to it later and bring it up and say what he feels controlling the hold conversation.........and he will block out whatever your saying by telling you he's not listening to make sure he gets his point across.
I guess I'm so tired of wondering .......If he wants us to be a family get a done why don't you......
and another thing I just can't figure out why do I second guess him so much...........
First he says he wants to be single after expressing these feelings and then I told him he was wasting my time and was ready to hang up, he changes the conversation in a different gear and says yes he wants to be with me but I don't want him......
Its like he tries to get what I feel out of me first before he say how he really feels....
and your right I am probably confusing the hell out him because I'm confused myself.......cause I am a all actions girl and I may like to communicate things for complete understanding but I also believe you have to show and prove as well......I know what he did was a big thing to express those feelings but why go so deep and then disappear.......
It seems as if he is afraid of me because he mentioned he feels I try to intentionally hurt him sometimes to get a reaction...... I love the iodiot with all my heart and I know I find it hard expressing myself with virgo sun and cappy moon but I think the cancer asc makes my feelings come to surface...... girl he so stubborn and he tries to talk only when he wants to talk.....if I initiate a conversation, he won't give me an answer right then he wait and come back to it later and bring it up and say what he feels controlling the hold conversation.........and he will block out whatever your saying by telling you he's not listening to make sure he gets his point across.
I guess I'm so tired of wondering .......If he wants us to be a family get a done why don't you......
and another thing I just can't figure out why do I second guess him so much...........
thanx freebird........ I know what roxi is saying is true............I just have to figure out how to commnicate with him more openly
VirgoB....I so can understand your situation - I was also dating a Virgo man. I was completely open with my feelings, what I needed and desired. I noticed many times that he stayed "closed" off and honestly, I had no clue why. He said that when he was with me he could be completely open (saying and doing are two different things) but in all reality, it was very, very difficult for him. If I had to guess by the things he said - he was emotionally holding onto his past relationships. Somewhere he logged into his thought process that all women leave him and he forgot to delete that info. So naturally, he began to "create" circumstances to where I could no longer be with him in a romantic sense - friends YES.
Hope this helps....
Freebird
Hope this helps....
Freebird
Gotach roxxi - Yes....us Aries are direct - I was basically pointing out how Mr. Virgo too was unable to express his emotions - feelings. Aries need to have an open communication - and YES I called Mr. V on it every single time. Personally, I just think it was too hard for him and quite frankly, I think there are quite a few people who have a hard time being open with their feelings.
just my thoughts.....
just my thoughts.....
BlueVirgo . . if I were you, I think I'd be looking at this differently. You seem to be focused on whether he wants you and whether he's true, and why is giving mixed signals . . you're hanging on HIS decisions and leaving yourself completely vulnerable for HIM to come and go as he chooses . .
Whereas, I would have the complete opposite attitude . . let him hang on my word and my decision . . afterall, you're having a baby and well . . this isn't starting the kid off in a real stable environment.
Empower yourself . . your WOMAN . . RULE !!!!!!
Whereas, I would have the complete opposite attitude . . let him hang on my word and my decision . . afterall, you're having a baby and well . . this isn't starting the kid off in a real stable environment.
Empower yourself . . your WOMAN . . RULE !!!!!!
Roxi.....FB...... I guess my biggest fear is feeling that once I open up that he will leave again and I know my heart won't be able to take the inconsistency......
I have to have dedication, trust and loyalty in order to maintain a long term relationship........
I feel he meets me to some point then he waits to see how far I will come and something inside of me won't let me go there to grab on......
As Fb was saying virgo's are like this when they have had some hurtful past experiences and I admit to one I never have fully recovered from........
Roxi I hear what your saying I should lay my cards out to see were it goes......I think this is what keeps him coming back to conquer........and then he gets bored with it....thinking I'm palying games.......when in fact I want him so much and so afraid to allow myself to be vulnerable to him..........
It's Crazy.........It's all this earth im my chart that keeps me so reserved to the point its like I make myself to suffer in silence......... because I don't want to lose control of my emotions.........
He is the father of my child and I want to be so close with him......... and the crazy part is I know we can be this way because we use to be.........but because it was new and it was during the initial chase I felt safe for some reason to allow him to get close enough to become intimate.........of course I made him chase me like crazy......but it worked and he was so open for me.......and I'm afraid I can't get him back to that point......
I have to have dedication, trust and loyalty in order to maintain a long term relationship........
I feel he meets me to some point then he waits to see how far I will come and something inside of me won't let me go there to grab on......
As Fb was saying virgo's are like this when they have had some hurtful past experiences and I admit to one I never have fully recovered from........
Roxi I hear what your saying I should lay my cards out to see were it goes......I think this is what keeps him coming back to conquer........and then he gets bored with it....thinking I'm palying games.......when in fact I want him so much and so afraid to allow myself to be vulnerable to him..........
It's Crazy.........It's all this earth im my chart that keeps me so reserved to the point its like I make myself to suffer in silence......... because I don't want to lose control of my emotions.........
He is the father of my child and I want to be so close with him......... and the crazy part is I know we can be this way because we use to be.........but because it was new and it was during the initial chase I felt safe for some reason to allow him to get close enough to become intimate.........of course I made him chase me like crazy......but it worked and he was so open for me.......and I'm afraid I can't get him back to that point......
If you appear desperate . . he'll treat you that way.
If your in charge of your world . . he'll bow down.
It appears as though you are letting him be in charge of YOU . . damn, if I would do that . . I know it's hard, but . . stand tall and take charge !!!!!!
If your in charge of your world . . he'll bow down.
It appears as though you are letting him be in charge of YOU . . damn, if I would do that . . I know it's hard, but . . stand tall and take charge !!!!!!
"my biggest fear is feeling that once I open up that he will leave again"
lol, Aries will take advantage of this . . in a heartbeat, they want a contender, and equal competitor in life . . not a mouse . . be strong and take charge.
lol, Aries will take advantage of this . . in a heartbeat, they want a contender, and equal competitor in life . . not a mouse . . be strong and take charge.
BlueVirgo . . I'm not liking men too much right now . . so just ignore my "womanpower" outbursts,lol
BlueVirgo...first of all I owe you an apology - I was typing your name wrong 
I got it figured out NOW!
BV - it is hard sometimes to not forget the past but it is the past that holds you hostage and your thoughts, insecurities about it. Your Aries man is not the man that hurt you in the past - all he wants is your honesty, the real you, be open with him. Tell him your fears about opening up - he will respect you for that.
Do you want your relationship to be based upon truth or secrets? Decide what it is you want and be that change you want to see happen. Let the past go - as you can see and feel, it is no longer serving you - it is hindering you...keeping you from moving forward.
Be open with your feelings for yourself so that you can grow....if Mr. Aries leaves, then it was not meant to be - you cannot attempt to hold onto him with your fears, this will not work. The upside is - you both are opening and becoming vulnerable which can be scary but....it usually is more benificial than the alternative.
Relationships enter our lives for growth....c'mon Virgo - open up, express your feelings. My closests relationships are those with whom we exchange an open honest style of communication.
I got it figured out NOW!BV - it is hard sometimes to not forget the past but it is the past that holds you hostage and your thoughts, insecurities about it. Your Aries man is not the man that hurt you in the past - all he wants is your honesty, the real you, be open with him. Tell him your fears about opening up - he will respect you for that.
Do you want your relationship to be based upon truth or secrets? Decide what it is you want and be that change you want to see happen. Let the past go - as you can see and feel, it is no longer serving you - it is hindering you...keeping you from moving forward.
Be open with your feelings for yourself so that you can grow....if Mr. Aries leaves, then it was not meant to be - you cannot attempt to hold onto him with your fears, this will not work. The upside is - you both are opening and becoming vulnerable which can be scary but....it usually is more benificial than the alternative.
Relationships enter our lives for growth....c'mon Virgo - open up, express your feelings. My closests relationships are those with whom we exchange an open honest style of communication.
"I guess I'm so tired of wondering .......If he wants us to be a family get a done why don't you......"
"I feel he meets me to some point then he waits to see how far I will come and something inside of me won't let me go there"
"It's all this earth im my chart that keeps me so reserved to the point its like I make myself to suffer in silence........."
BlueVirgo, it doesn't sound to me like he is preventing anything from happening between the two of you . . above is your own words that says he is talking to you, wanting to meet you somewhere on equal ground . . but, YOU are the one pulling away.
I understand that you are afraid, we all get scard . . but, you make it sound like he's sabotaging this somehow and I can't see that in your description . . he's trying !!!
"I feel he meets me to some point then he waits to see how far I will come and something inside of me won't let me go there"
"It's all this earth im my chart that keeps me so reserved to the point its like I make myself to suffer in silence........."
BlueVirgo, it doesn't sound to me like he is preventing anything from happening between the two of you . . above is your own words that says he is talking to you, wanting to meet you somewhere on equal ground . . but, YOU are the one pulling away.
I understand that you are afraid, we all get scard . . but, you make it sound like he's sabotaging this somehow and I can't see that in your description . . he's trying !!!
You guys are awesome........I can appreciate everything you've said.........I want to open up to him so bad because I hate feeling like this.......... and I will and I hope he accepts me with open arms.......cause I thinhs he thinks I'm playing games with him.......huh,if he only knew......
But I guess he has in some ways given me the greenlight.........I just haven't had the courage to proceed.........
But I guess he has in some ways given me the greenlight.........I just haven't had the courage to proceed.........
Leave Your Feedback
We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.
Related Topics
hello everyone, I am a long time reader and first time poster :) So I was wondering if someone can do a quick readi
@tshell
Joined: Dec 11, 2006 · Topics: 2 · Posts: 2
What do you find irresistable about the Taurus woman?
@Multihoroscoped
Joined: Jan 08, 2007 · Topics: 3 · Posts: 30
If a Scorpio male responds to your e-mails, is he still interested or just remaining polite? It's been a couple years s
@Multihoroscoped
Joined: Jan 08, 2007 · Topics: 3 · Posts: 30
I think Scorpios tend to come off as ruthless or cold because they're extremely passionate and sensitive below their har
@187
Joined: Aug 30, 2006 · Topics: 38 · Posts: 184
I just read part of your thingy on the Scorp board re: the Christmas gift. What a jackass! If you are dating and s
@little_sparrow
Joined: Sep 28, 2005 · Topics: 89 · Posts: 7602
I am not going mad (well I don't think I am yet) and i'm sure there is a reasonable explanation for this. I work in a ho
@woodsnake
Joined: Nov 15, 2006 · Topics: 8 · Posts: 159
I know most libras consider themselfs slightly crazy. But does anyone know any libra who has been to an asylm??
@thelibran
Joined: May 23, 2006 · Topics: 117 · Posts: 2604
Does anyone here watches it?
@Yama
Joined: Jul 02, 2006 · Topics: 93 · Posts: 5508
Happy Birthday WBTG, cap, CGWL, cappysweetie and the rest of the crew. Celebrate and be safe, surround yourself with th
@CreepyPants
Joined: Nov 04, 2005 · Topics: 348 · Posts: 8226
Hi all I'm a Aries and i was calculating.. My brother is a Libra. 1 out of the 3 times i can live peasely with hi
@boyfromutrecht
Joined: Jun 24, 2006 · Topics: 73 · Posts: 370