Aries driving Cancer into anger

ok so in a long distance relationship - my man is aries:sun and pisces:moon and i am cancer:sun leo:moon - he's loving,and caring, loves to kiss and all that good stuff - we talk pretty much everyday maybe 2 or 3 times a day - he does most of the calling. but sometimes he jus pisses me off.

ok so in the beginning we had some simple discussions - ''he had said that he wouldn't let anyone make him look bad infront of his peeps, he didn't like the idea of people hanging up the phone on each other , and in our arguements that he didn't like making scenes'' - so i was like ok great cus i'm the same way so i figured i'd respect him in that way and he would do the same for me. WRONG

so i was visiting him in december and we're standing up at a party dancing most of the night n den on the last song he jus leaves me standing there without sayin a word and goes to dance with some girl he knows (socalled rule one broke - he made me look bad cus alot of ppl knew us there) - it was noticable cus his friend saw me standing there by myself and jus to be nice he asked me to dance

then we've had arguments where he's hung up the phone on me (socalled rule two broken)

and then the other night we argued and he turned off his phone so i called his neighbour's phone (which he told me to call when i can't get him on his phone - so it's cool) and he made a scene by immaturely coming on the phone and say "i'm not here" click and hung up (so called rule three broken - making a scene)i was so embarrassed

so it seems that he wants me to treat him well and respect what he wants but forget what i want and forget respectin me

he's so stubborn too - like we go online msn and do the video chat stuff and one time i asked him to come closer to the cam cus i wanted to see his face better and he said "no" we had jus had a little argument and so we weren't angry anymore and we were smiling and joking and talking and i kept asking and he kept saying "no my mind's made up" - i asked y and he said cus i had made him mad.

y are aries so spiteful?
y is he treating me like a child that needs punishment?
i'm embarrassed to say that i cried a couple of times and i regret so badly for letting him get to me but most of all for lettin him see me.

now don't get me wrong - he and i when we're good we're amazingly good but when we're bad its bad - i know that we have a bit of a communication problem sometimes and i don't know how to get thru to aries.

continued...
btw i've know him since august 2006 when i visited my friends n met him den i visited him in dec 2006 and now i'm going in feb 2007

don't get me wrong - we get along majority of the times - its just that he's sooooo immature sometimes (he does to me exactly what he doesnt want me to do) and he has a temper (which i can deal with by jus giving him space but because he's so immatures sometimes he jus gets upset for stupid things) - those are my complains - i mean he's the type of man that i always wanted but never expected to me (he's oh so loving and affectionate, yet to manly , he's not one of those ppl that lets money control them, he compliments me and i know they're genuine, he's an honest worker, he loves kids (i think he will make a great dad one of these days) - but said to me one time that he wanted us to build a strong foundation - but to me we haven't even got the all the materials to start building - i'm jus frustrated

Please listen to g'fox. There are good Aries and bad Aries.

geminifox, i'm sorry things didn't work out for you and that aries - i remember when you were posting about him - but i'm really into this guy because of his good qualities that i've always wanted in a man but have never found until now - and i wasn't even looking this time.

solitas777 - he's so loving, he treats me so great majority of the times - i feel so peaceful with him - i think that sometimes we give up on relationships too easily and sometimes we need to be patient - i write to you guys because i'm not sure if i should be patient or give up - you said to manipulate him - lol i've tried but maybe my skills aren't so good - but i'll keep tryin

Atom - he's not evil - he's jus been raised by himself - his mom was very confining and his dad lives near him but they never really had much of a relationship - i mean they talk but they are not close - his mom used to beat him for stupid things and his dad wasn't there - so i'm just tryin to figure out how to deal with him because he's so sensitive - how do i show him that i am his equal and i am his woman - his strength when he is weak - without him walking all over me—

all my aries - tell me how do we as a couple gain more respect from each other, and not walk over each other?? i want to let my guard down but the time isn't right..

my aries man i think is angry that when he was a child his mom used to confine him so much and beat him and his brother for little reasons (example: if they didn't have shoes on in the house she'd beat them) and their dad left their mom and jus neglected them - until he was like 12 then he moved in with his dad - after a while my bf started working and his dad kicked him out eventually (i guess they had a fight one night) and my bf with his pride even tho him and his father got over that never went back - he's been supporting himself since then - he says that he's come to rely on himself and hates asking ppl for anything - i jus want to hold him and let him know that if he would let me - i'd take care of him forever

as a cancer i used to be soooo emotional, now i have more control but i do cry when i get hurt by ppl i love - i get scared when i let my aries see me cry (when he hurts my feelings- so far i've cried like 6 times - oh and i cried the night b4 i left to come back home) cus i don't want him to see me as weak.

i think i am a strong woman and aries in general are strong too but i also think aries and cancers are both emotional it's jus that we express it differently - aries get that temper they can't control (anger is an emotion) and cancers cry - but i do bounce back to happiness quickly and it is this quality to be happy that makes me think that my aries won't take our problems seriously - he'll think "ok she's happy so everyting is ok"

Um...you tell him to KNOCK IT OFF...you are not putting up w/ his SIHT! that's how you gain more respect, Cancer12. I've been w/ my aries for almost 2 years, and it's taken 2 year for him to come down off his high horse and stop acting like a big baby (although sometimes he climbs back on, and when he does, I'll knock him right back off). Don't get me wrong, I have my drama queen, high horse moments, too, as a Leo. He's had to knock me off, as well.

My point is, stop worrying about upsetting him...start thinking about how he's upsetting you and CALL HIM OUT! Don't let him mistreat you, period. Aries are infamous for their double standards...it's annoying as fukc. But the only way to get through to him is to either mirror his example (so that he'll get how you feel) or call him out, and he will calm down. No long lectures, no "we need to talk," just do it, cuz he won't expect it. That's how you win and keep an Aries man (one of the many ways, anyway:-)

Good Luck

THANK YOU truthseeker - yes i try to mirror his actions to get him to feel how he makes me feel sometimes - and i do call him out on it - i told him I WILL NOT let him walk over me and i am nothing like the girls he's been with - the thing is sometimes when i say things he says "is that a threat? because i don't like threats" - he see things are threats sometimes even when i'm not even threating him but jus speakin the truth - like i told him once that "i know myself and i can only take so much" - he saw it as a threat - and in a way it is but it's also me letting him know that i won't stay for his bullshit - apparently his ex used to threaten him all the time...

truthseeker - i am so grateful for your reply because u give me strength - thanx 🙂

geminifox, girlfriend ur ex sounds so much like my man - i know that doesn't mean that mine and i won't work out afterall we are different ppl from u and ur ex. BUT it still scares me how they sound alike - how old was ur ex—

i think aries sometimes try to blame the world for their problems - i'm the opposite, i take responsibility for my life and what i went thru -- sometimes u gotta let the past stay in the past and jus grow from it - well my aries only sees when his feelings are hurt - but i voice my hurts too

i jus feel that right now he needs all the space i can give him - cus i think it will help him figure out him BUT i am not backing down - but i will take as much time for ME as i can - i don't want to cling to him

yea he gets jealous for dumba $ $ reasons - like we're pretty affectionate in public and he started complaining that i didn't hug him that much when certain ppl were around (all in his head) - he would get mad and then i would get mad that he was being an a $ $ and not talk to him - den later when he calmed down, he explained that he was scared of losing me and that he got the impression that i didn't hug him or kiss him as often as i did b4 because he thought maybe i had spotted a guy in the room i liked and that's why - i mean he's so childish sometimes it pisses me off but it kills me with the ideas that he has in his head and i think "i'm mad but shit it's so cute"

but i know it's a serious problem - he says i'm smart and beautiful and he keeps asking himself why i wanna be with him, why not some better looking guy (he's goodlooking so it's not that he's ugly at all), with more money and a better job - so yes there is a self esteem problem but i can boost that for him - just gotta figure out how - he thinks i'm too good for him sometimes

how do i help boost his self-esteem——

i am his woman and i want to be by his side - not behind him and not in front of him (at least not all the time -lol) - so SOMEONE please guide me

wow girl thanx for all that - i love the feedback!!!! 🙂 🙂

yea i totally get how having extreme self-esteem issues can turn u off from a guy- my guy has some selfesteem issues but not like your guy- wow he really was self conscious

honestly gem, i'm kinda glad that my man confesses his insecurities to me, it makes me realise that he's human and not perfect - i'm not tryin to be big-headed when i say this but i am generally very sure of myself and i think my man knows that - i say exactly what it is i have to say - i'm pretty much in his face when he doesn't something wrong -i think he likes that i'm not araid - i refuse to sit down and let him sit on his "high horse" all the time - i already told him that "i am complete and i'm not one of those women who feel like she needs a man to be complete" - i get upfront wit him when i need to but sometimes i know i take it too far and sometimes it's harder than other times - so i've been tryin to be more careful - i ensure him that i love him and feel amazing and happy with him - i mean u mentioned that ur ex always wore the pants but honestly i do wear them sometimes - jus as a reminder to him that i am independent plus i like to be in control sometimes

k bout the "clingy" part i guess i used the wrong word in tryin to emphasize that i don't want to be around him "all the time" - because he told me that he wanted me to move in with him b4 and i told him that if i moved there i would want my own place and he replied by saying that if i moved to his area he wouldn't want us apart - he would want me around all the time - so i hope i cleared that up 🙂 - anyway well he has declared his love and says that he loves me so much that sometimes he doesn't think i really have an idea of "just how much" and he's asked me to marry him and he loves the idea of us having a child - but i am NOT ready for all that - our relationship is too fresh for all that.

yes i'm aware that he can walk all over me but i am stubborn sometimes and so i take control of my end and i stand up for myself - he knows that i get alot of attention from guys - even when i visited him he saw that - but he knows i love him yet part of him still knows that if he f*&ks up i will leave becus i told him even if it hurts me to leave i will becus i won't let anyone treat me like crap - i told him i have no time to play games - it's just that sometimes he frustrates me and i lose my cool and get emotional and that is my weakness - my emotions

like you i love a challenge and he's always a challenge - it keeps me interested in a way - i love the making up part because it's the time we declare how much we love each other and how afraid we are of losing each other - plus all the gooey stuff 😉 😉

but back to the emotions - as an adult i have ALOT more control of it than i didn't b4 -i jus need to be ALOT MORE in control than i am now - i'm working on that - i feel so much better that u're givin me ur feeback - let me know what u think

keep ur head up gem - u'll get by - this love thing can be the most beautiful feeling in the world but man it can be a pain in the a $ $ sometimes - remember YOU are more important than any man - treat urself right no matter what! - bye! 🙂