This guy I have been dating for 2 months who is an aries sun, virgo moon and taurus venus says he loves me but is not in the place where he needs to be in life for a relationship (he also said he was angry with himself that he couldn't be his full self with me because I am so amazing) and that he wouldn't mind still seeing me as long as I am not hurt if we still see each other but that it wouldn't lead to bf gf relationship right now? He also said he is confused and does love me doesn't want to hurt me if we still see each other.
Btw I'm an aries sun, cancer moon, gemini venus.
I do not want to lose him because I have a great connection with him so should I just keep it casual and date other men and just see him occasional casually and not engage in any over physical relationship just continue our connection? Or should I just cut it off with him and date other men and lose him completely?
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Jan 27, 2019Comments: 2 · Posts: 1548 · Topics: 27
His "confusion" is going to lead you to heartbreak if you don't learn to listen better. He told you everything you needed to hear in order to MAKE A SOUND DECISION about YOUR life. NOT his. Women are not designed to "WAIT" for men to pass the *confusion* stage as if WE are not ALWAYS IN DEMAND. That's for the birds 🙄 So, to answer you're question, OF COURSE YOU SHOULD DATE OTHERS. Of course! Love is ACTION so, with that, ACTION is louder than words. Now that your friend of two months has decided NOT TO PURSUE any further ACTION pertaining to YOU, your mind should be shifting to, 'NEXT'. Get it?
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Jul 15, 2019Comments: 3 · Posts: 299 · Topics: 25
As hard as it may be tell him exactly what you want and then leave it to him. There is no point playing games here. You don't want to see other men you want him. Let him know and then leave it in his court and let him do all the chasing now but be friendly and happy she he contacts you.
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May 26, 2019Comments: 1551 · Posts: 3887 · Topics: 78
Cut it off. This only leads to heartbreak for you.. you’re lucky it’s early & he’s being honest. You really should listen to him. There will be other connections.
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May 14, 2015Comments: 0 · Posts: 798 · Topics: 55
I asked a similar question recently.
Telling someone you don’t want to be gf/bf makes them want to be gf/bf.. it’s like how women want a married man, most of the time they want what they can’t have. Telling women you don’t want sex makes them want sex more. But anyway, if nobody else sees this then fine.
We have to assume maybe that he wants a relationship, maybe he doesn’t, maybe he wants sex, maybe not.. without really being there and seeing his face and body language I can’t tell you. Actions always speak louder than words and it’s not “what” someone says, it’s “how” they say it. Is he playing or not?
But he’s in control, he set the rules and you’ve just rolled over and accepted them. I want to know what you said back to him?
Why accept that he will be the one hurting your feelings? Is he that good?.. basically all you’re doing it stroking his ego.
You get me? He is not the heartbreaker, you are. He tells you that he will hurt you? Lol - laugh in his face please, have some more confidence than that.
you are the one capable of breaking his heart, not the other way round. I think you made it too easy for him. I think Aries vs Aries is the battle, it’s playful like those two lions in lion king trying to pin each other down. But he just beat you and you didn’t fight back. Easy and no challenge.
I get it. To be honest, you need to be yourself. It’s this lovey situation where it’s forbidden now and he’s the challenge for you to face, he lets you do the work and chase him, but you should have set the scene. He should be chasing you.
But yes, you should be seeing other guys anyway, two months is not long, he really loves you?, so I take it you believe him? Does he know you that well so soon, does he know everything about you.. wow you must be so easy to read. It’s lovely how he knows everything about you so soon and he knows he loves you but not enough to be with you, you must be really interesting.. sorry I’m being sarcastic to prove a point. But I don’t want to see an Aries get beaten so easily. You are the woman, play your game. A guy says he loves you but doesn’t want to be with you, tell him he can’t love you then. Cos you are the best.. you understand what I mean?
Tell him his doesn’t even know you well enough to love you yet (ie put the challenge on him and make him curious).
Then tell him he needs to try a little harder (again set the challenge, make him think you aren’t around forever if he doesn’t try).
Then tell him he’s the one who needs to be careful not to get hurt (again, you go for the control, don’t let him have it without a fight). Then tell him he’s messed things up a little, maybe you will let him see you again (not the other way round, you make the terms as the woman, not him), tell him you thought things were fine but you think he’s getting a bit too emotional, and he needs to be more of a man (play it back, insult him as a man lol maybe this is too far but something like this). Then to be honest, I’d walk away, see if he chases.
Maybe I’m wrong, this is just a suggestion.
Signed Up:
May 14, 2015Comments: 0 · Posts: 798 · Topics: 55
I asked a similar question recently.
Telling someone you don’t want to be gf/bf makes them want to be gf/bf.. it’s like how women want a married man, most of the time they want what they can’t have. Telling women you don’t want sex makes them want sex more. But anyway, if nobody else sees this then fine.
We have to assume maybe that he wants a relationship, maybe he doesn’t, maybe he wants sex, maybe not.. without really being there and seeing his face and body language I can’t tell you. Actions always speak louder than words and it’s not “what” someone says, it’s “how” they say it. Is he playing or not?
But he’s in control, he set the rules and you’ve just rolled over and accepted them. I want to know what you said back to him?
Why accept that he will be the one hurting your feelings? Is he that good?.. basically all you’re doing it stroking his ego.
You get me? He is not the heartbreaker, you are. He tells you that he will hurt you? Lol - laugh in his face please, have some more confidence than that.
you are the one capable of breaking his heart, not the other way round. I think you made it too easy for him. I think Aries vs Aries is the battle, it’s playful like those two lions in lion king trying to pin each other down. But he just beat you and you didn’t fight back. Easy and no challenge.
I get it. To be honest, you need to be yourself. It’s this lovey situation where it’s forbidden now and he’s the challenge for you to face, he lets you do the work and chase him, but you should have set the scene. He should be chasing you.
But yes, you should be seeing other guys anyway, two months is not long, he really loves you?, so I take it you believe him? Does he know you that well so soon, does he know everything about you.. wow you must be so easy to read. It’s lovely how he knows everything about you so soon and he knows he loves you but not enough to be with you, you must be really interesting.. sorry I’m being sarcastic to prove a point. But I don’t want to see an Aries get beaten so easily. You are the woman, play your game. A guy says he loves you but doesn’t want to be with you, tell him he can’t love you then. Cos you are the best.. you understand what I mean?
Tell him his doesn’t even know you well enough to love you yet (ie put the challenge on him and make him curious).
Then tell him he needs to try a little harder (again set the challenge, make him think you aren’t around forever if he doesn’t try).
Then tell him he’s the one who needs to be careful not to get hurt (again, you go for the control, don’t let him have it without a fight). Then tell him he’s messed things up a little, maybe you will let him see you again (not the other way round, you make the terms as the woman, not him), tell him you thought things were fine but you think he’s getting a bit too emotional, and he needs to be more of a man (play it back, insult him as a man lol maybe this is too far but something like this). Then to be honest, I’d walk away, see if he chases.
Maybe I’m wrong, this is just a suggestion.
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Oct 11, 2017Comments: 3 · Posts: 3193 · Topics: 7
I like how you think Aries Jo
Now to OP, he is not a fully baked man. The worst thing us as women can do is to fall for a man who has not actualized his dreams. Men are good at compartmentalizing and putting themselves first. He is finding himself and you will not be first for who knows how long. So move on with your life dating and seeing other people, and circle back to him when he’s at the finish line. If you only accept men at the finish line anyway then you’ll never again have to deal with this “I’m busy with career, I’m not ready” bull. I get it but don’t waste your pretty on someone not ready!
Also avoid situations where you are his girlfriend, but they are not your boyfriend 😬