Aries insecurity vs our awesomeness

I keep having to remind myself that the world doesn't revolve around me and that not every little thing that happens is related to me. People have their own things going on, which I fail to see a lot of the time. I've learnt to be a bit better with that but I do tend to take a lot of things personally when I don't get my own way or someone hasn't reacted how I wanted them to react.
I'll think that because I haven't heard from someone in a few weeks that I must've done something wrong and offended them or something, and I chased them off somehow. Meantime, again: they've just been busy or had drama of their own -- that I was not aware of -- unfolding which they're trying to deal with.
I also get so sensitive about things and I always think there is an inside joke about me. Most of the time it's just because I've not been present when something funny has happened and then I'll think they're referring to something I've done wrong and that they're indirectly mocking me.

STORY TIME: At the moment I'm crushing on a Sag, and I know I shouldn't. We bumped into each other one night at a club (this seems to happen every few years with him) and we always get along so well and have THE MOST fun and laugh SO MUCH with each other and end up going home together for more hours of fun and funniness in the sack. Then in the morning he'll say how we should definitely do it again soon because he had a lot of fun with me. I agree and then he leaves, and I'm left thinking cool -- finally someone cool to hang out with and have regular sex with. Then, when I make contact with him again like a week later, he replies back to me saying that it sounds like fun but that he's been 'kinda seeing someone on and off for a while and right now its back on' but if they split again, he'll definitely call me.

BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY—!!!

Boiling point in a nanosecond! I managed to reply back cooly and calmly telling him he was a douchebag for doing this. We've been in contact a few times since then and we still make each other laugh. I know I'm awesome and so does he, so why would he choose non-serious on and offness over non-serious, serious awesomeness and fun with me—??"

And why is he not the first to tell me this— What is wrong with me that this keeps happening and how to fix it? Can't they see how awesome I am?

Is it just me, or is it Aries insecurity?

How do you guys deal with your self-centred perspectives on how the universe is

(continued....)

unfolding?

It's like my ego and my insecurities are constantly in a power struggle.... or something.

PS: I know Sag in story is at fault in this case and that it's not me who has something wrong with them, but rather him. So I don't need advice on that.
He's just flavour of the month I guess. I know there will be someone different next month :p

Posted by starlover
You are coming from your head too much, rather than the heart...men can feel this..he prob feels you are just up for the craic, nothing more, nothing less

What do you want...are you clear with yourself and the others in your life?

are you very young?

x

I'm 32. I am sure of what I want. I don't want to get my heart involved. I just want someone cool to hangout with and have regular sex with, to keep things light and fun and not get heavy! He knows that and he actually shares the same perspective on life that I do, which is why I don't understand why he's back with the on and off 'heavy' thing with someone who wants kids and wants to get married. It seems pointless to me.... Neither one of us wants to get married, neither one of us wants children. We both love travelling and we both want someone to share our awesome experiences with. I feel like it would be a good fit for where I'm at in my life right now.

We age better as Aries. We have a lot of fun as Aries. We are sensitive, caring, fun-loving. When we are thinking about someone we might want to be with, we can get wrapped up.

I strongly believe we really do enjoy being Aries and we really do enjoy our lives, but we slip into these situations where we are pitying ourselves, or reevaluating what we want in life, wondering why we haven't done everything we wanted by this age, etc etc.

Why do we feel the world "revolves" around us and why do I get so shocked to find out we weren't included in certain things? Because the world does revolve around all of us (together) and technically we are included in the big picture of all this. Basically, we are all interdependent and I need my folks as much as they need me, etc. And yeah I feel sad at times when I feel left out, but that just lets me know I need to wake up again, and be re-centered.

I want to be around others, be included, but I never mind being alone for a time. I have websites to read, I can watch favorite movies, I can talk to someone new, etc.

We have huge transits occurring in our lives btw ... if you see what is happening this year and gonna keep going for 6 more years, you will see we are all gonna be faced with wakeup calls, growing spurts, ego-growth etc.

You are questioning it all, and trying to figure it out, I applaud that! Your head isn't up your ass. I know we would rather be on a beach resort with our best friends or lover but life has a lot of responsibility involved too, and we can handle it.

Basically, we are going through growth spurts and though we feel like everything should be ours by now, this is life saying to us, there is in fact even more wonderful things to learn, and further places we can go and we will learn to be more in control (we all will probably bigshots here in a few years) and then we can go back to vacationing full time haha

... and, truth be told, though I have thought what my ex did by dropping out of our relationship, I have been mulling over the idea of "why aren't we together" quite a bit these past months. I don't mind entertaining the idea of all that from time to time even if it makes me sappy. When we first broke up I would say that was too painful to ever think about, but all in all, just know we will get what we want, and will have fun and make do with life as best and happily we can until we get ours.

Lotus...Apr 7 birthday. I feel exactly the same as you state above in your first post. I think it's always me. Or why is everyone mad at me, what did I do? And the inside joke thing...yes!

It's almost like I want constant attention, but I know that's not a good way to be..so I try to work on it constantly.
For me it's def my enthusiam for everything, and I wonder "What the heck, do these other people not have enthusiasm?"

And I ask myself, "Could it be something else?"

(Learned that in relationship counseling and it really works!)

Posted by heroic_guy
... and, truth be told, though I have thought what my ex did by dropping out of our relationship, I have been mulling over the idea of "why aren't we together" quite a bit these past months. I don't mind entertaining the idea of all that from time to time even if it makes me sappy. When we first broke up I would say that was too painful to ever think about, but all in all, just know we will get what we want, and will have fun and make do with life as best and happily we can until we get ours.

You've given very constructive feedback on all three of my posts today HG! Thanks so much. I will definitely take it into account and hopefully remember to use your advice when in the respective situations again. I appreciate the time and effort some people take to give a shit and help someone out 😄

Posted by sunshine222
Lotus...Apr 7 birthday. I feel exactly the same as you state above in your first post. I think it's always me. Or why is everyone mad at me, what did I do? And the inside joke thing...yes!

It's almost like I want constant attention, but I know that's not a good way to be..so I try to work on it constantly.
For me it's def my enthusiam for everything, and I wonder "What the heck, do these other people not have enthusiasm?"

And I ask myself, "Could it be something else?"

(Learned that in relationship counseling and it really works!)

I'm April 6!

I know what you mean about constant attention! I hate that I get needy like that sometimes and that's the main reason I don't want to get into an emotional relationship, because if I irritate myself with my neediness, I can't imagine what the other person must think of it!

Most of the time I feel like a feel like I'm stuck in that really awkward place between a fearless warrior and a two-year-old throwing a tantrum because you wont pick her up!

Posted by starlover
Wow Lotus my loverman is 7th April, the day after you

He also to my mind swings from that warrior to the two year old a lot

Thanks for being so clear and honest about that....i now know its not in my imagination..its very difficult to deal with!!

x

I think we do it when we need reassurance or reinforcement that we are still hold top spot with you, even though we're full of shit sometimes. I think the best thing you could probably do in a situation like that is let him know you appreciate the role he plays in your life and why. (You may want to write some down at a time when you just love and adore us to bits, and save them for those rainy days when we're acting out due to our insecurities.) We like to feel valued. It should bring a smile to his face again in no time. I know its worked with me in the past.
Sometimes you just have to tell us what we want to hear so that we can get back to happy days again.

My need for attention is not due to neediness though...and I don't really think yours is either. In fact a need for attention may not be what to call it.
I hope I explain correctly..for me its more of a I want in return what I give to others, which is my kindness, consideration, thinking about that person and how they are and contacting them at that point (when I am thinking of them)
just to see what's up or how they're doing.)

Or if I invite my friends to lunch or to do something, I think they should do it in return. It may seem like I expect alot, but its just wanting the equality of effort?? Make sense?

So don't be so hard on yourself!! Like Impress said its not you.

I do the same thing though!!!!

Yes truth

Posted by lotuslily
(continued....)

unfolding?

It's like my ego and my insecurities are constantly in a power struggle.... or something.

The first 2 paragraphs sound like I wrote them, feeling like you did something wrong when the other person starts reacting different than at first, is the WORST.
Then I start going "Sorry, I don't mean to bother you" which makes them go "OMG STOP YOU AREN'T" and thus getting mad at me kind of while I start feeling worse.
It's a sick cycle

^^^Yes yes yes!! I don't know how many times I have said "Sorry I don't mean to bother you" and I know other people say that too as a polite thing to say, but for this to be common among us, is more than coincidence and yes it is the worst. I could have written the two paragraphs too..
Syn what is your birthday?

Even the Aries guy (March 31) I was into recently..he had texted me something really sweet one night, I replied back and then he texted back, "Sorry I didn't mean to bother you." I texted back, "You are not bothering me!"

With me I feel like when I don't get the response from people I want or expected, I back off by saying "Sorry I don't mean to bother you" In my head I say to myself "ok I'll just go away now,the heck with them"....I hate it...
Most of the time the people are probably thinking.."Oh that was really nice"
GRRR its so annoying..

Posted by sunshine222
^^^Yes yes yes!! I don't know how many times I have said "Sorry I don't mean to bother you" and I know other people say that too as a polite thing to say, but for this to be common among us, is more than coincidence and yes it is the worst. I could have written the two paragraphs too..
Syn what is your birthday?

Even the Aries guy (March 31) I was into recently..he had texted me something really sweet one night, I replied back and then he texted back, "Sorry I didn't mean to bother you." I texted back, "You are not bothering me!"

With me I feel like when I don't get the response from people I want or expected, I back off by saying "Sorry I don't mean to bother you" In my head I say to myself "ok I'll just go away now,the heck with them"....I hate it...
Most of the time the people are probably thinking.."Oh that was really nice"
GRRR its so annoying..

March 27, Aries rising and Scorpio Moon, Venus in Aries too, but yeah it's just common for me to think that if someone doesn't text me first that I'm automatically bothering them. It really sucks for lack of a better word.
I just started talking to this guy who was texting 1st then he stopped, so I text him and it doesn't seem the same now. I haven't texted him today and he hasn't texted me, I'm scared if I don't I'll never hear from him again, I know it's early but I haven't dated in 2 years because I was afraid this exact thing. It's a never ending pattern.

"^^^Yes yes yes!! I don't know how many times I have said "Sorry I don't mean to bother you" and I know other people say that too as a polite thing to say,"

I do the same. I say it out of politeness, especially if I can see that someone is occupied with something else. I will admit to walking away wondering what they are thinking, but I usually end up shrugging the thought away and involve myself with something else.

When people say that to me, my first thought is "hum....that person seems polite" and my response is the standard "you're not" (even though I really am) just to find out what they are "bothering me" about 😛