Aries man break up

This topic was created in the Aries Men forum by Scooney on Tuesday, January 31, 2017 and has 23 replies.
So I told my Aries man I didn't want to see him over the weekend because I was stressed out and just needed space but kept in contact with him, talking to him everyday. Now that I want to see him he is saying he took the break as an actual break up and that he now feels his feelings have lessened for me and only sees me as a friend. Even though I have explained that was never my intention just wanted to take a breather he says his feelings haven't switched back. What can I possibly do? And why would something as small as not seeing someone for a weekend cause this?
Posted by Scooney
So I told my Aries man I didn't want to see him over the weekend because I was stressed out and just needed space but kept in contact with him, talking to him everyday. Now that I want to see him he is saying he took the break as an actual break up and that he now feels his feelings have lessened for me and only sees me as a friend. Even though I have explained that was never my intention just wanted to take a breather he says his feelings haven't switched back. What can I possibly do? And why would something as small as not seeing someone for a weekend cause this?
Needing a breather told him you can't handle a serious relationship.
Posted by leowww
Posted by Scooney
So I told my Aries man I didn't want to see him over the weekend because I was stressed out and just needed space but kept in contact with him, talking to him everyday. Now that I want to see him he is saying he took the break as an actual break up and that he now feels his feelings have lessened for me and only sees me as a friend. Even though I have explained that was never my intention just wanted to take a breather he says his feelings haven't switched back. What can I possibly do? And why would something as small as not seeing someone for a weekend cause this?
If you made it clear that all you needed was time to yourself and his feelings changed because of that... He sounds immature and petty af. He never had strong feelings for you to begin with.

On top of that you kept contact daily?

As someone looking at your situation from the outside... You're better off.
click to expand
Thats the first thing I thought-how old is this dude? Very childish/petty behaviour if that's exactly how it went down.
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by Scooney
So I told my Aries man I didn't want to see him over the weekend because I was stressed out and just needed space but kept in contact with him, talking to him everyday. Now that I want to see him he is saying he took the break as an actual break up and that he now feels his feelings have lessened for me and only sees me as a friend. Even though I have explained that was never my intention just wanted to take a breather he says his feelings haven't switched back. What can I possibly do? And why would something as small as not seeing someone for a weekend cause this?
Needing a breather told him you can't handle a serious relationship.
Correct above ^^^

Surely you can make space for yourself without having to "officially" tell your bf you need "space"...

When someone says that it means they want a break from the relationship so he has given you what you asked for but obviously it backfired on you as you thought you could drop him and "pick him up" when you felt like it.... WRONG..

The balls in his court now... You have all the space in the world now so you better keep it moving or he will "head fuck you"....
click to expand
That's exactly right. Needing a break is saying you can't handle it. Shows weakness. I can't be with a weak or insecure person.
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by Scooney
So I told my Aries man I didn't want to see him over the weekend because I was stressed out and just needed space but kept in contact with him, talking to him everyday. Now that I want to see him he is saying he took the break as an actual break up and that he now feels his feelings have lessened for me and only sees me as a friend. Even though I have explained that was never my intention just wanted to take a breather he says his feelings haven't switched back. What can I possibly do? And why would something as small as not seeing someone for a weekend cause this?
Needing a breather told him you can't handle a serious relationship.
Correct above ^^^

Surely you can make space for yourself without having to "officially" tell your bf you need "space"...

When someone says that it means they want a break from the relationship so he has given you what you asked for but obviously it backfired on you as you thought you could drop him and "pick him up" when you felt like it.... WRONG..

The balls in his court now... You have all the space in the world now so you better keep it moving or he will "head fuck you"....
That's exactly right. Needing a break is saying you can't handle it. Shows weakness. I can't be with a weak or insecure person.
click to expand
...but she didn't....she was still talking to him

The guy sounds like a selfish big baby

Posted by leowww
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by Scooney
So I told my Aries man I didn't want to see him over the weekend because I was stressed out and just needed space but kept in contact with him, talking to him everyday. Now that I want to see him he is saying he took the break as an actual break up and that he now feels his feelings have lessened for me and only sees me as a friend. Even though I have explained that was never my intention just wanted to take a breather he says his feelings haven't switched back. What can I possibly do? And why would something as small as not seeing someone for a weekend cause this?
Needing a breather told him you can't handle a serious relationship.
Correct above ^^^

Surely you can make space for yourself without having to "officially" tell your bf you need "space"...

When someone says that it means they want a break from the relationship so he has given you what you asked for but obviously it backfired on you as you thought you could drop him and "pick him up" when you felt like it.... WRONG..

The balls in his court now... You have all the space in the world now so you better keep it moving or he will "head fuck you"....
That's exactly right. Needing a break is saying you can't handle it. Shows weakness. I can't be with a weak or insecure person.
...but she didn't....she was still talking to him

The guy sounds like a selfish big baby

Yup.

There's a clear difference between...A break from the relationship all together .. And time apart / keeping contact.

How do feelings change so fast?

Surely the superficial kind.

click to expand
True....
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by Scooney
So I told my Aries man I didn't want to see him over the weekend because I was stressed out and just needed space but kept in contact with him, talking to him everyday. Now that I want to see him he is saying he took the break as an actual break up and that he now feels his feelings have lessened for me and only sees me as a friend. Even though I have explained that was never my intention just wanted to take a breather he says his feelings haven't switched back. What can I possibly do? And why would something as small as not seeing someone for a weekend cause this?
Needing a breather told him you can't handle a serious relationship.
Correct above ^^^

Surely you can make space for yourself without having to "officially" tell your bf you need "space"...

When someone says that it means they want a break from the relationship so he has given you what you asked for but obviously it backfired on you as you thought you could drop him and "pick him up" when you felt like it.... WRONG..

The balls in his court now... You have all the space in the world now so you better keep it moving or he will "head fuck you"....
That's exactly right. Needing a break is saying you can't handle it. Shows weakness. I can't be with a weak or insecure person.
...but she didn't....she was still talking to him

The guy sounds like a selfish big baby

click to expand
Nope, she's flip flopping. I wanna see you and then I don't. I need some space to a man is like a kick to the nuts.

That's the difference between someone who knows their worth and someone who dosent.
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by Scooney
So I told my Aries man I didn't want to see him over the weekend because I was stressed out and just needed space but kept in contact with him, talking to him everyday. Now that I want to see him he is saying he took the break as an actual break up and that he now feels his feelings have lessened for me and only sees me as a friend. Even though I have explained that was never my intention just wanted to take a breather he says his feelings haven't switched back. What can I possibly do? And why would something as small as not seeing someone for a weekend cause this?
Needing a breather told him you can't handle a serious relationship.
Correct above ^^^

Surely you can make space for yourself without having to "officially" tell your bf you need "space"...

When someone says that it means they want a break from the relationship so he has given you what you asked for but obviously it backfired on you as you thought you could drop him and "pick him up" when you felt like it.... WRONG..

The balls in his court now... You have all the space in the world now so you better keep it moving or he will "head fuck you"....
That's exactly right. Needing a break is saying you can't handle it. Shows weakness. I can't be with a weak or insecure person.
...but she didn't....she was still talking to him

The guy sounds like a selfish big baby

Nope, she's flip flopping. I wanna see you and then I don't. I need some space to a man is like a kick to the nuts.

That's the difference between someone who knows their worth and someone who dosent.
click to expand
Needing your space is not necessarily a sign of insecurity, imo. To me it makes more sense that those who can handle being by themselves and don't need others' company or support at all times are fairly self-confident. As concerns OP, it's simply how she deals with stress. Do you have to be together every single day anyway... Then the guy would start accusing her of being clingy lol

OP didn't want to burden him... I think it's the right thing to do
This is definitely a break-up line "I need space...", you could have also said:

"it's not you, it's me"

"I love you.. but I'm just not in love with you"

"maybe we should take a break"

"I don't feel like it's the right time for us right now"

and possibly "I need time to find myself"

you know, any of the classics would have done.

Right now, the aftermath, I don't think you can do anything. Maybe tell yourself that it was your sub-conscious really speaking, you did say it after all, and your sub-conscious will know best. If it's one thing as Aries man hates, it's in-decisive people, we don't have the patience for it. You could try and say you didn't know what "I need space" meant, but I doubt he would believe it, his last GF probably broke up with him that way.

And if you're still talking to him now, I'm not sure, it's kinda good you still have the conversation, and maybe you could get something back. But then a lot of women might just talk to the guy after a breakup because they want to check he is ok, or cos they feel guilty, bad etc. And that's the worst. I'm speaking in general terms of course because I don't know the details, but if you wanted to meet the weekend after... was it really for a date, or cos you feel bad about breaking up, or you still want some control over him (are you a control-freak), or you want him to be one of those man-friends who have all the hassle of having a GF but none of the benefit. This is just a possibility of course, I don't know for sure what he's thinking, but I think most guys would consider this, maybe you wanted to break-up and now you feel bad?

I can see how one can confuse taking a break with taking time for yourself if not properly explained. We can't completely blame him for the misunderstanding. Acting "offended" would be "kind" of reasonable but saying his feelings have changed, making it sound like his heart has a switch that can turn feelings on and off on demand, is a clear indicator that you need to find yourself another man. A less fickle one.

Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by Scooney
So I told my Aries man I didn't want to see him over the weekend because I was stressed out and just needed space but kept in contact with him, talking to him everyday. Now that I want to see him he is saying he took the break as an actual break up and that he now feels his feelings have lessened for me and only sees me as a friend. Even though I have explained that was never my intention just wanted to take a breather he says his feelings haven't switched back. What can I possibly do? And why would something as small as not seeing someone for a weekend cause this?
Needing a breather told him you can't handle a serious relationship.
Correct above ^^^

Surely you can make space for yourself without having to "officially" tell your bf you need "space"...

When someone says that it means they want a break from the relationship so he has given you what you asked for but obviously it backfired on you as you thought you could drop him and "pick him up" when you felt like it.... WRONG..

The balls in his court now... You have all the space in the world now so you better keep it moving or he will "head fuck you"....
That's exactly right. Needing a break is saying you can't handle it. Shows weakness. I can't be with a weak or insecure person.
...but she didn't....she was still talking to him

The guy sounds like a selfish big baby

Nope, she's flip flopping. I wanna see you and then I don't. I need some space to a man is like a kick to the nuts.

That's the difference between someone who knows their worth and someone who dosent.
click to expand
*I want to have the weekend to get my energy back as i am stressed*

Really....would you take offense at that?
You were mature enough to let him know that you needed some space, because you were going through.. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.. I think he's just being selfish & immature.. & Like some of the others say, if this simple weekend breather was enough for him to lose his feelings for you, then he had none to begin with... I don't lose feelings for ppl THAT fast even in a "let's break up" situation..

If you wanna make it work, the best thing I can suggest is try seeing if you can meet & talk face to face.. Express yourself to him.. Let him know what's going on and why you needed the space and that your feelings never changed for him. Ask him if you guys can start over fresh and make things work.. Next time you are going through something, maybe involve him the next time & see if he can be by your side to help you get through it.

Good luck!
I am amazed how many of the commentors condems the poor guy without knowing him, just because of the opening post.... or are you familiar with the whole situation? were there other posts before this to say he is immature?

I would be very offended, if my love told me he wants a break for the weekend, because of stress

I would think: You dont thin I am here to help you? I am not your partner to help you overcome your stress?

And the conversation during the weekend.... so you are not too stressed to conversate, but you are too stressed to see me? and let me help you? by beeing here, cuddle you, give you advice or just chill, no need to talk at all

I am not sure we are beeing fair to this guy
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by Scooney
So I told my Aries man I didn't want to see him over the weekend because I was stressed out and just needed space but kept in contact with him, talking to him everyday. Now that I want to see him he is saying he took the break as an actual break up and that he now feels his feelings have lessened for me and only sees me as a friend. Even though I have explained that was never my intention just wanted to take a breather he says his feelings haven't switched back. What can I possibly do? And why would something as small as not seeing someone for a weekend cause this?
Needing a breather told him you can't handle a serious relationship.
Correct above ^^^

Surely you can make space for yourself without having to "officially" tell your bf you need "space"...

When someone says that it means they want a break from the relationship so he has given you what you asked for but obviously it backfired on you as you thought you could drop him and "pick him up" when you felt like it.... WRONG..

The balls in his court now... You have all the space in the world now so you better keep it moving or he will "head fuck you"....
That's exactly right. Needing a break is saying you can't handle it. Shows weakness. I can't be with a weak or insecure person.
...but she didn't....she was still talking to him

The guy sounds like a selfish big baby

Nope, she's flip flopping. I wanna see you and then I don't. I need some space to a man is like a kick to the nuts.

That's the difference between someone who knows their worth and someone who dosent.
*I want to have the weekend to get my energy back as i am stressed*

Really....would you take offense at that?
click to expand
No, I personally wouldn't. What's she gonna say 5-10 years down the road when there's kids involved, a mortgage to pay, someone gets laid off? Is she gonna need "a break"? That's not how relationships work.

There are ways to get time to yourself without telling your SO that you can't handle life ATM.
Posted by Fragrance
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by Scooney
So I told my Aries man I didn't want to see him over the weekend because I was stressed out and just needed space but kept in contact with him, talking to him everyday. Now that I want to see him he is saying he took the break as an actual break up and that he now feels his feelings have lessened for me and only sees me as a friend. Even though I have explained that was never my intention just wanted to take a breather he says his feelings haven't switched back. What can I possibly do? And why would something as small as not seeing someone for a weekend cause this?
Needing a breather told him you can't handle a serious relationship.
Correct above ^^^

Surely you can make space for yourself without having to "officially" tell your bf you need "space"...

When someone says that it means they want a break from the relationship so he has given you what you asked for but obviously it backfired on you as you thought you could drop him and "pick him up" when you felt like it.... WRONG..

The balls in his court now... You have all the space in the world now so you better keep it moving or he will "head fuck you"....
That's exactly right. Needing a break is saying you can't handle it. Shows weakness. I can't be with a weak or insecure person.
...but she didn't....she was still talking to him

The guy sounds like a selfish big baby

Nope, she's flip flopping. I wanna see you and then I don't. I need some space to a man is like a kick to the nuts.

That's the difference between someone who knows their worth and someone who dosent.
Needing your space is not necessarily a sign of insecurity, imo. To me it makes more sense that those who can handle being by themselves and don't need others' company or support at all times are fairly self-confident. As concerns OP, it's simply how she deals with stress. Do you have to be together every single day anyway... Then the guy would start accusing her of being clingy lol

click to expand
I should have left the insecure part out of my reply.
Posted by Pandora101
I am amazed how many of the commentors condems the poor guy without knowing him, just because of the opening post.... or are you familiar with the whole situation? were there other posts before this to say he is immature?

I would be very offended, if my love told me he wants a break for the weekend, because of stress

I would think: You dont thin I am here to help you? I am not your partner to help you overcome your stress?

And the conversation during the weekend.... so you are not too stressed to conversate, but you are too stressed to see me? and let me help you? by beeing here, cuddle you, give you advice or just chill, no need to talk at all

I am not sure we are beeing fair to this guy
Exactly
Posted by Pandora101
I am amazed how many of the commentors condems the poor guy without knowing him, just because of the opening post.... or are you familiar with the whole situation? were there other posts before this to say he is immature?

I would be very offended, if my love told me he wants a break for the weekend, because of stress

I would think: You dont thin I am here to help you? I am not your partner to help you overcome your stress?

And the conversation during the weekend.... so you are not too stressed to conversate, but you are too stressed to see me? and let me help you? by beeing here, cuddle you, give you advice or just chill, no need to talk at all

I am not sure we are beeing fair to this guy
I get where you're coming from, but i still think there's nothing wrong with her trying to sort things out on her own. Of course if "i'm stressed so i don't want to see you" is the way she said it, then yeah, the guy must have felt like butter, but if she decently asked for a little alone time to sort some crazy stuff out, he shouldn't have felt neglected.

Guess it depends on how she said it.

People deal with stress differently. Some need to go out and be around people, some need to be alone. Nothing wrong with either.

Posted by AriesJo
This is definitely a break-up line "I need space...", you could have also said:

"it's not you, it's me"

"I love you.. but I'm just not in love with you"

"maybe we should take a break"

"I don't feel like it's the right time for us right now"

and possibly "I need time to find myself"

you know, any of the classics would have done.

Right now, the aftermath, I don't think you can do anything. Maybe tell yourself that it was your sub-conscious really speaking, you did say it after all, and your sub-conscious will know best. If it's one thing as Aries man hates, it's in-decisive people, we don't have the patience for it. You could try and say you didn't know what "I need space" meant, but I doubt he would believe it, his last GF probably broke up with him that way.

And if you're still talking to him now, I'm not sure, it's kinda good you still have the conversation, and maybe you could get something back. But then a lot of women might just talk to the guy after a breakup because they want to check he is ok, or cos they feel guilty, bad etc. And that's the worst. I'm speaking in general terms of course because I don't know the details, but if you wanted to meet the weekend after... was it really for a date, or cos you feel bad about breaking up, or you still want some control over him (are you a control-freak), or you want him to be one of those man-friends who have all the hassle of having a GF but none of the benefit. This is just a possibility of course, I don't know for sure what he's thinking, but I think most guys would consider this, maybe you wanted to break-up and now you feel bad?

Exactly it depends on how you explained. If you tell most fire signs this without the right explanation first it's going to end up bad.

Posted by AriesJo
This is definitely a break-up line "I need space...", you could have also said:

"it's not you, it's me"

"I love you.. but I'm just not in love with you"

"maybe we should take a break"

"I don't feel like it's the right time for us right now"

and possibly "I need time to find myself"

you know, any of the classics would have done.

Right now, the aftermath, I don't think you can do anything. Maybe tell yourself that it was your sub-conscious really speaking, you did say it after all, and your sub-conscious will know best. If it's one thing as Aries man hates, it's in-decisive people, we don't have the patience for it. You could try and say you didn't know what "I need space" meant, but I doubt he would believe it, his last GF probably broke up with him that way.

And if you're still talking to him now, I'm not sure, it's kinda good you still have the conversation, and maybe you could get something back. But then a lot of women might just talk to the guy after a breakup because they want to check he is ok, or cos they feel guilty, bad etc. And that's the worst. I'm speaking in general terms of course because I don't know the details, but if you wanted to meet the weekend after... was it really for a date, or cos you feel bad about breaking up, or you still want some control over him (are you a control-freak), or you want him to be one of those man-friends who have all the hassle of having a GF but none of the benefit. This is just a possibility of course, I don't know for sure what he's thinking, but I think most guys would consider this, maybe you wanted to break-up and now you feel bad?



Thank you for this POV I never saw it that way because I said it was other stuff that factored into the stress but he says it was sounding like break up words. He tends to assume the worst all the time. Overthinking everything. I feel terrible for I never wanted to hurt him in the process. He is still talking to me and he is meeting up in person tomorrow with me to talk face to face and possibly move forward with things.

Posted by poison_ivy
You were mature enough to let him know that you needed some space, because you were going through.. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.. I think he's just being selfish & immature.. & Like some of the others say, if this simple weekend breather was enough for him to lose his feelings for you, then he had none to begin with... I don't lose feelings for ppl THAT fast even in a "let's break up" situation..

If you wanna make it work, the best thing I can suggest is try seeing if you can meet & talk face to face.. Express yourself to him.. Let him know what's going on and why you needed the space and that your feelings never changed for him. Ask him if you guys can start over fresh and make things work.. Next time you are going through something, maybe involve him the next time & see if he can be by your side to help you get through it.

Good luck!


Thank you! He has actually asked to talk to me in person more, and I mentioned I only want to further discuss this if you're interested in moving forward from this as a couple and he has agreed to talk with me knowing this so I'm nervous for sure.

Posted by Pandora101
I am amazed how many of the commentors condems the poor guy without knowing him, just because of the opening post.... or are you familiar with the whole situation? were there other posts before this to say he is immature?

I would be very offended, if my love told me he wants a break for the weekend, because of stress

I would think: You dont thin I am here to help you? I am not your partner to help you overcome your stress?

And the conversation during the weekend.... so you are not too stressed to conversate, but you are too stressed to see me? and let me help you? by beeing here, cuddle you, give you advice or just chill, no need to talk at all

I am not sure we are beeing fair to this guy
This would stress me even more.
Posted by Scooney
Posted by poison_ivy
You were mature enough to let him know that you needed some space, because you were going through.. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.. I think he's just being selfish & immature.. & Like some of the others say, if this simple weekend breather was enough for him to lose his feelings for you, then he had none to begin with... I don't lose feelings for ppl THAT fast even in a "let's break up" situation..

If you wanna make it work, the best thing I can suggest is try seeing if you can meet & talk face to face.. Express yourself to him.. Let him know what's going on and why you needed the space and that your feelings never changed for him. Ask him if you guys can start over fresh and make things work.. Next time you are going through something, maybe involve him the next time & see if he can be by your side to help you get through it.

Good luck!


Thank you! He has actually asked to talk to me in person more, and I mentioned I only want to further discuss this if you're interested in moving forward from this as a couple and he has agreed to talk with me knowing this so I'm nervous for sure.

click to expand
Way to go girl!! Get your man! Winking