Aries man freaked out??

Hi...

I am a cappy and have been dating this aries man for the last two months. I've always let him set the pace of the relationship.. occasionally have a tug of war with him just to spice things up. anyways.. things have been fine until recently when HE called me on a saturday to see me at night and then doesn't show up! It was SO out of his character because he always calls and informs me and I called him but he didn't reply.. until alot later, saying he's at his moms. he doesn't call the next day.. and on monday I emailed him to tell him that if saturday was a way to snub me off, it was so disappointing and disrespectful. Then he decides that we should talk and in the talk.. he's basically freaking out! Saying that he thinks I want more than what he can offer.. blah blah blah.. and that he wants us to perhaps scale things back.

all I did was look at him oddly.. saying that I never asked him for anything and I never pressured him into anything! He's just freaking out by himself here! I told him I know what I want and he needs to figure himself out because he's the only one thinking that this is more than just what it is.

i'm supposed to continue this talk again today.. and I don't know.. I like him, enjoy him.. but this is ridiculous.
we were all good and then out of nowhere.. it becomes cold turkey but he still kinda wants us to be around.

he needs to grow up..

sigh... any advice—?

that's surprising for an aries to wanted to talk and talk and talk. we're more of an action people. just let him be and have him chase you. don't give in that easy and be a challenge for him. you can tell him that you'll talk to him on your own time and you need to think about what you want. that'll drive him insane or he'll freak even more😉 anyways, take some time off and think if you want to have a relationship with him. perhaps, he had some relationships before you where he was pushed into them and wasn't ready for it. you can even ask him that and see his reaction.

Well, I wasn't gonna let someone go cold turkey without telling me. I'm very confrontational about these kinda things.

he said he wasn't ready for something serious la la la.. and I'm like, I didn't push for anything serious. I let YOU take the lead and set the pace. don't look at me like I wanted more because that wasn't what I was doing...
And then he wanted to sleep on it.. and figure out his options and what to do.

so much drama. i don't even know it came from.
I like to be upfront, honest and get it all out.

I told him.. there's only two options. we continue talking, or we don't.
I have alot going on in my life so I don't need to waste the time that I have.

and that got him thinking and stuff.

ARGH...

he's just a drama king🙂 as i said walk away for a while and have him chase you. aries men love to chase. do you think you have something good to loose?

i think he is looking for a way out and was fishing to see how you take it so he can plan his final knockout blow...sorry
if it was me saying lets scale things back that means im out of there and have no intentions on continuing this
if he said he was at his mom on saturday despite the fact that he made plans with you , it was probably a big fat lie and he used his mom because he knew his mom would cover his ass if it came down to it.
he wouldnt tell you he was with his buddies if he wasnt, that is to easy to be cought that way but you can always count on mom
...this is how i see it......
c'mon aries staying home with his mom on a saturday night—??
yeah right
i love my mom but saturaday night is saturday night

Well, I hear what you say about him finding a way out.

I GAVE him an out.. I've told him numerous times... if you want to date others or not want to continue this, hey, just say it. I'll be fine and I can go on my merry way. I've emailed him and said, listen, we can either talk or never talk again. Pick one.

and he goes, he wants to clarify things.
blah

today... he's emailing me and asking me if i'm cool because he's cool.
Excuse me??
he freaked out yesterday with that whole speech!! and today he's cool??

so we're meeting later. and I have this gut feeling that I'm going to end our conversation with "Listen, let me make it easier for you and me.. let's pretend WE never happened! When you learn to man up to what you want, then give me a call if you want to."

I don't get him..

I thought aries were honest and upfront?? :/
he's acting like a Sag.

Can i tell you how hard it is NOT to be emotional?

I have a pisces in my moon.. I'm everything emotional here. lol

I've just taken enough BS in my past to know when to say screw off.

the worse is.. he does have family issues going on.. and my sympathetic side is very compassionate about his situation but this BS-ing doesn't make me any more compassionate right now!

yeah walk away from him, but like you sais dont burn bridges
i think if yhou tell him
let's pretend WE never happened! When you learn to man up to what you want, then give me a call if you want to."

and than just disappear for a while he will be back soon enough

well.. he has a taurus rising... and you know what.. we were supposed to meet tonight.. but as usual.. being a controlling aries.. he's postponing it to tomorrow for lunch.. ending the message with a smiley face. i don't get it.. i just want to get it over with and maybe ditch him.. but he's not letting me! i think he maybe wants to ditch me... but i thought he would get it over and done with by now...actually.. he had many chances to but didn't take any of it. i'm confused..

if today's talk actually happens, wish me luck or something..
geez.. watch him flake again..

and no.. his birthday is march 24th. taurus rising.

I'm an Aries who has dated many Aries men. If he made plans with you and never showed up, his only excuse should be that his car broke down and he should still have called you to let you know that very soon after you were supposed to meet.

His excuse makes no sense. His freak-out is ridiculous. Why would you bother investing any time with someone who has issues with relationships? Take his words for real, that he can't give you want you want. He should not get the privilege of seeing you again. That's how you should think about it. Who you spend time with should value that time. Anything less lowers yourself to just a distraction when you are more than that. Protect yourself because Aries know what they want and they go after it. If we're not sure, we'll just play games.

^^^^^^ in absolute agreement.

"you can tell him that you'll talk to him on your own time and you need to think about what you want. that'll drive him insane or he'll freak even more"

That's just creating MORE drama .. manipulating the situation to get him to freak out more.

You said you were going to have a talk with him ... what's the point? Unless you want to attempt to change him to react within what expectations you have about this so-called-partnership?

You can't mold him .. to have a "talk" infers that you will lay on the line what your expectations are within this pairing. You can't change him, only yourself.

Bottom-line .. if this is who he is, and it is not acceptable for your integrity ... then it's your responsibility to walk away with pride .. and NOT his responsibility to change or cater to your pride.

Hi.. just to reinterate.. aries men.. are really.. odd.

So This whole drama I wrote about happened three weeks ago.. since then, when I told him to basically, go figure himself out.. WOW. Talk about a 180.

I just sit back and do my own thing.. I go my own way and we still talk. Infact.. we email everyday at work.. see each other at coffee or lunch quite often.. but I DO keep a distance because being a cappy, I'm just careful. And I usually go into defensive mode. But a fun person still. Him? He calls me all the time.. i don't life up the phone at all to call him. He tells me days beforehand what he's up to.. and if he can't call me, he'll make sure he emails my home email or calls me from a payphone! He comes over to my place quite a bit.. and yes, we've fooled around.. but he doesn't come to do that with me only. We sometimes cuddle and kiss while we watch TV or a movie. He always lets me know what he's up to when I don't even ask and it's just been.. GOOD. I don't know what to say.. I guess he still digs me..?

This is kinda odd for me.. are aries men like this??
at 3 in the morning, he called me to see how I was and he was out with his buddies at mcdonalds after clubbing. I was hungry and he made his friends drive him over to give me fries to eat. that was SO unexpected.. and yeah.. he just always reports to me where I am and calls to see where I am.

even if I don't see him for a weekend, he'll call me throughout the day telling me what he's up to.

all i can say is .. wow. I'm still afraid and still not putting in alot yet.. but him putting in this effort is really showing. I am always doing my own thing and always keeping myself busy.. I don't throw myself on him and let him makes the moves.

so aries peeps.. what have you guys got to say about this? 🙂

It sounds to me like you are playing him ... there appears to be very little, if any, interest on your end for him as a person .. however, much interest in the attention game, for you recent post was just about gaining attention from him, and not any mention of real feelings for the man.

haha.. me play him? no.. the last thing I know, is how to play a man.

I have tons of interest in him.. we get along so well and I do like him.. i just want to make sure he's for real. i want to gain attention because I like HIM. i get attention from other people.. but it's his that I do care about.

I wouldn't have brought him lunch at work two days in a row if I didn't care.
I just tend to hold back to not set expectations and get hurt.. something I tend to do..

you know mata hari

your comments... are right.

I am analyzing too much.. and should just enjoy and revel in it. :-)

i just didn't want to go through a situation of Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

thanks though..

heyy honestly... he's being real ima cappygirl and my boyfriend is an aries and im head over heels for him i love him so much we've been together for a year now.. but before that we had our difficulties he was confuse and really didnt know what he wanted he reminds me of how that guy was towards you in the beggining my babes venus is in taurus and mars is in cancer they usuaully just dont put out this must effort if they dont believe in it or they dont really like you.. just keep being the way u are and than little bye little you'll know if its real i swear you sound exactly like me how i was in the begininng but really now i don't care i believe that aries and caps can make it work u just have to communicate and compromise because we both like to be in control he's hot headed someetimes but we also have to have patients with them i had to if i didn't i wouldn't had even bothered but he knows exactly what he wants he tell it like it is and he ain't scared to be real with me even if its harsh but i like it better that way i rather him tell me sraight out than beat around the bush theres alot of progress and we have so much fun together he's great, sex and everything but were making it work....

At what point do they start chasing. Its been over a week since he's emailed me. Cant bear it!