InfiniteBliss
@InfiniteBliss
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 12 · Topics: 1
Aries man unable to get over my past.
* when I say played I don't mean cheated on. I mean more like am I just putting myself up for my emotions to be thrown around.
Posted by amethyst2002
Okay first off, someone get this guy a midol.
Second, I'd think if he TRULY loved you and all that other stuff he's spewing, then your past wouldn't be stopping him. I'd think if you loved someone THAT much, you'd be able to look past things like what you mentioned. Wtf.
That's what I felt too. But I think that putting myself in his shoes for a minute. I can see why he may be reluctant. He feels like he is all alone in the experience. And it might make him feel a little insecure and afraid he may not be good enough too. I think he feels that him putting down his guards would require a lot more then me putting down mine. He is all alone in this and I think he wanted the lover that could share the first time excitement and experience with him. And only him. Thing is I do love him. And I know he really loves me. I just don't know how to help him get over this psychological block and to just not be afraid. I am willing to wait everything out because I know one day he'll realise he was my number one all along. I told him that I knew he really is in love with me and that he'll remain faithful because deep down he knows that I really love him and he knows he loves me. But I told him if he needed space and time to figure things out that I was more then willingly to give it to him. He told me he just wanted to be with me but it will take time for him to learn to accept the past is the past and move on. He told me he just over-thinks everything.
Posted by InfiniteBlissPosted by amethyst2002
Thing is I do love him. And I know he really loves me. I just don't know how to help him get over this psychological block and to just not be afraid. I am willing to wait everything out because I know one day he'll realise he was my number one all along.click to expand
Don't do this. If you both love each other just let go on an OK note.
You can't fix someone, they are what they give. EVERYONE has a past, not just you. If the present does not supersede the past, it never will in this relationship. He is showing yours matters more than any feels of love he has or had.
If he is inexperienced at love etc, and you are talking to him about exes, that is a no no. 100% should never be the topic. He should be allowed to love you with all his heart, and if you make him feel like he is less than someone else, that is denying him his own power and passion for you. If you are comparing him to other people to his face, and being so open about your past, then you are setting up a lot of mental images that have no place in our mind. When we love you passionately and give it our all, and any mention of it not being the best, is like pouring water over the fire. Oh he will still love you and his heart will be broken for all time, but that happens to us as early lovers. We are naive lovers and can bruise easily from anyone who flaunts their ex to us like something we can't be better than.
Honesty is great, but should be clear from the start, he might have needed this experience to learn not to go in thinking he will win you completely and he will be better at winning the next person.
(My first lovers broke my heart by not even giving me a chance to win them with my passion for them, it was a great chase, but the heartache was their inability to lead us on and dump us for someone else more compatible or whatever, felt like a big f.u.)
Honesty is great, but should be clear from the start, he might have needed this experience to learn not to go in thinking he will win you completely and he will be better at winning the next person.
(My first lovers broke my heart by not even giving me a chance to win them with my passion for them, it was a great chase, but the heartache was their inability to lead us on and dump us for someone else more compatible or whatever, felt like a big f.u.)
I was trying to be intuitive and try to understand what was making the situation the way it is.
If she wants to stay with this guy, then she should assure him he is doing just fine and you are happy with him.
I wanted to shed some light on the inner thoughts not try to say call it quits.
If she wants to stay with this guy, then she should assure him he is doing just fine and you are happy with him.
I wanted to shed some light on the inner thoughts not try to say call it quits.
He feels like that because like you said, you are his first sexual experience.
Men and women are different in this issue, the woman wants to be the last love of her man, but the man wants to be the first love of his woman.
Men are more egoistic, and have bigger pride, so they can't take the idea that other men had slept with you before him because they know how much the first sex and the first sensual experience is important and how much it stays in the mind, so he is afraid that you would always remember your first sex, and this what men can't deal with easily, we like to be the one and the only one in our woman's mind, and i really can't blame him, cuz i keep seeing here women talking about the best sex they had with other men apart from the one they are being with now.
There is no doubt he loves you, but you have to be patient with him, he is having a struggle inside him now, and i am sure he is trying to fight these thoughts so he can be with you, don't make it worse by pressuring him or leaving him..he feels it's unfair that you are his first sexual partner, but he is not to you..this will take time to get over it.
It's ofcourse you choice now, but if you want my advise, stay with him, always show him that you love him, compliment him and his sex mastery, never ever bring the subject of your past..let him know completely that he is the only man in your life and that the past is nothing to you, no other man exists to you but him..he will eventually get over it, and mature more..he will see life more and get wiser, so enjoy your days with him now and everything will be alright later..i am sure.
Men and women are different in this issue, the woman wants to be the last love of her man, but the man wants to be the first love of his woman.
Men are more egoistic, and have bigger pride, so they can't take the idea that other men had slept with you before him because they know how much the first sex and the first sensual experience is important and how much it stays in the mind, so he is afraid that you would always remember your first sex, and this what men can't deal with easily, we like to be the one and the only one in our woman's mind, and i really can't blame him, cuz i keep seeing here women talking about the best sex they had with other men apart from the one they are being with now.
There is no doubt he loves you, but you have to be patient with him, he is having a struggle inside him now, and i am sure he is trying to fight these thoughts so he can be with you, don't make it worse by pressuring him or leaving him..he feels it's unfair that you are his first sexual partner, but he is not to you..this will take time to get over it.
It's ofcourse you choice now, but if you want my advise, stay with him, always show him that you love him, compliment him and his sex mastery, never ever bring the subject of your past..let him know completely that he is the only man in your life and that the past is nothing to you, no other man exists to you but him..he will eventually get over it, and mature more..he will see life more and get wiser, so enjoy your days with him now and everything will be alright later..i am sure.
GATECRASHER, so you think that by listening to you she will be happy?
well, i can talk like you, why anyone would want to marry you if they can find someone better, i mean why sticking to an asshole after all?
well, i can talk like you, why anyone would want to marry you if they can find someone better, i mean why sticking to an asshole after all?
I don't know where are you coming from, but if the fact that your wife had sexual past and she is your first partner doesn't bother you the slightest then I don't know what kind of men you are, and obviously you don't know what you are talking about.
Most men just leave it inside of them just to unleash it later in some fight or some issue, this guy atleast is honest about it and he can't do anything now to eliminate it, it's not something he can control of.
Actually, the way he is behaving tells me without a doubt that he is insanely in love with her, if he is just playing with her, then he wouldn't give a shit if she has slept with hundreds of men before him.
And what kind of silly statements you said " you should not be ashamed of your past"?!! so you can kill some man and then later say "i am not ashamed of my past", past is there to learn from it, and although having sexual past might not be something to be ashamed of, but still, it doesn't mean to make fun of that guy and tell him to fuck off..he might be the love of her life and she just kick him out just cuz she lacks some patience and think he is silly man to think like that.
His problem is gonna be solved by itself, now or few months later, it doesn't matter, it will be solved..they can just go on in their relationship without letting this thing affect it, and then later if the issue is gone, then it's just great.
Most men just leave it inside of them just to unleash it later in some fight or some issue, this guy atleast is honest about it and he can't do anything now to eliminate it, it's not something he can control of.
Actually, the way he is behaving tells me without a doubt that he is insanely in love with her, if he is just playing with her, then he wouldn't give a shit if she has slept with hundreds of men before him.
And what kind of silly statements you said " you should not be ashamed of your past"?!! so you can kill some man and then later say "i am not ashamed of my past", past is there to learn from it, and although having sexual past might not be something to be ashamed of, but still, it doesn't mean to make fun of that guy and tell him to fuck off..he might be the love of her life and she just kick him out just cuz she lacks some patience and think he is silly man to think like that.
His problem is gonna be solved by itself, now or few months later, it doesn't matter, it will be solved..they can just go on in their relationship without letting this thing affect it, and then later if the issue is gone, then it's just great.
you are a girl? Oh my fucking God.
You are arguing with me over male something and being fanatic about it, and you are a girl?
Ok, what do you think your husband feeling would be if he comes to this forum and read your post about him not being your best sex?
he will get upset, and it will worry him, it will make him insecure, what will you do? you will just leave him or tell him to fuck off just cuz he is being silly by being upset for such stupid thing in your eyes? well girl, we human beings are not logical, and love neither, our feelings are not logical, so don't expect your husband to understand that he is not your best sex, don't expect him not to be upset if he reads your post.
This is exactly how her man feels now, it might not be logical, but we don't need logic to be upset..if you can't understand this then it's too bad, it's a shame really..it's her decision anyway, her decision will reflect and affect her life later, so rushing about it won't make any good.
and if you wanna know, i am 25, so i have the experience and wisdom i need.
he will get upset, and it will worry him, it will make him insecure, what will you do? you will just leave him or tell him to fuck off just cuz he is being silly by being upset for such stupid thing in your eyes? well girl, we human beings are not logical, and love neither, our feelings are not logical, so don't expect your husband to understand that he is not your best sex, don't expect him not to be upset if he reads your post.
This is exactly how her man feels now, it might not be logical, but we don't need logic to be upset..if you can't understand this then it's too bad, it's a shame really..it's her decision anyway, her decision will reflect and affect her life later, so rushing about it won't make any good.
and if you wanna know, i am 25, so i have the experience and wisdom i need.
"He told me no guy can love me the way he does, only he can protect me, and I am his "other half"(?)"
A question mark after that above comment insinuates you not getting what that sentence means.
You spouted on and on about needing to have emotional understanding and needing completeness, and you also described to us how you feel like you deserve to have it all. You told him that if he feels that terrible then let you go and you will go find someone who truly loves you ... and naturally if you tell a person that it is a game to get them to try harder to keep you.
Then you put a question mark at the end of the above statement to suggest that you don't know what is meant by "other half" .. which of course, is you still playing a game to gain something .... this something I would wager to believe is likely attention.
It's quite obvious that if a man is insecure about a woman's sexual experiences .. then it's because she makes sure to remind him.
Just according to what you've posted, you made sure to remind him that if he can't love you enough, you will find someone who will ...... with that being a part of your vengeful dispostion for personal gain .. there's no dounbt in my mind you would remind him of your past sexual experiences especially when you realize how insecure it makes him.
A question mark after that above comment insinuates you not getting what that sentence means.
You spouted on and on about needing to have emotional understanding and needing completeness, and you also described to us how you feel like you deserve to have it all. You told him that if he feels that terrible then let you go and you will go find someone who truly loves you ... and naturally if you tell a person that it is a game to get them to try harder to keep you.
Then you put a question mark at the end of the above statement to suggest that you don't know what is meant by "other half" .. which of course, is you still playing a game to gain something .... this something I would wager to believe is likely attention.
It's quite obvious that if a man is insecure about a woman's sexual experiences .. then it's because she makes sure to remind him.
Just according to what you've posted, you made sure to remind him that if he can't love you enough, you will find someone who will ...... with that being a part of your vengeful dispostion for personal gain .. there's no dounbt in my mind you would remind him of your past sexual experiences especially when you realize how insecure it makes him.
I couldn't get through the part were he can't get over your past....Why does he know about your past? That's your business yeesh....Try not exposing all of your business and you won't create these kind of issues with men and I don't believe all that I love you bs, if he truly loved you he would get over it, the fact that he can't means he's just looking for a way OUT.
From my experience Aries are many times jailed with the past.
Posted by Invigorate_MePosted by LostPisces
From my experience Aries are many times jailed with the past.
LP what does that mean?click to expand
What I mean is more or less what is written in the title of the topic.
In general Aries cant get over the past things, when it is a strong happening they will never forget and tell you everytime they feel angry or just with feelings on fire.
Posted by GATECRASHER
you guys can go ahead and tolerate someone like this guy if you'd like. i'm just saying i wouldn't. he sounds too silly for me. gimme a break. i just wish in six months the original poster would come back and update and i would bet everything i have that he used this "your past bothers me" excuse to move on to other crotches. and i also must say that i would not tolerate his girl drama. but i do respect everyone else's opinion. i guess maybe you all have more patience than i do..which is very possible since i have about zero.
I agree with gatecrasher...drama...IMO he was looking for an out the moment he got the panties and what better way to get an out by throwing her past up in her face...I don't disagree with anyone here. As an Aries it could very well be true that he's bothered by her past but let's face it he has a past as well and if he doesn't at some point in his life he will, I'm sure he wouldn't feel good if the girl he's into said to him your a manwhore for sleeping with so many women and you got too much going on in your past sexually, love yah but I gotta go...He really needs to think about how he's behaving towards IB.
I mean and really who says that to someone they love...If he loved her like he proclaims to love her he would allow space for him to accept her past, just seems like a convenient out IMO.
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