Aries new obsession is messing with our relationship

I know Aries and chasing go hand in hand. They love the conquest. Love the thrill.

I met this Aries a few years back. I didn't play hard to get on purpose, I was in another relationship.

We grew closer intellectually over time. To the point where he acting with me like I was his girlfriend. By that time, I was single.

We talked everyday for hours at a time. We hung out at each other's places. We kissed. Had sex and made love.

My Aries always told me intellectual connection is very important to him. And we have that.

At that point in our lives, we started making plans together. Trips, random adventures. We both love being random and adventurous. We even talked about getting engaged at some points and do it in silly way cause it's so us.

3 months ago, he told me about a nerd convention he wanted to attend. I suggested I take time off work to go and he agreed.

In the meantime, he told me about a coworker and the drama going on at his work because of her.

Girl seem to be a mess. Dating left and right. Short lived relationships with coworker. Breaking the no dating rule at work.

About 2 weeks, we were talking and he told me he had gotten a room with that girl/coworker for the event, which was news to me. And how upset he was with her for having a boyfriend now. Something she didn't disclose and how her bf will be in the room too. Because they had planned to do a couples costumes as her request. He got really drunk that night because of that. He unfriended her on FB. Big drama. But he acted like she was just a friend looking for a place to crash at the event (yeah right) I played it cool. But said something about how awkward it would be with her in the room. He didn't react. He did tell me about her. Showed me a pic. Total transparency!

Meanwhile, we hung out a few times and things were great.

Last night, I texted him and he told me he was out at the bar with a coworker. It was his last day at work. I wished him a good night, have fun. Etc.

Normally, he text me to tell me he's home. He didn't, and I didn't hear from him for a little while. So, I texted him!

Today, he told me he got so drunk last night, he had to call in sick. Something he doesn't do ever. And that he drank with that girl/coworker all night after she joined them all. He explained everything to me. Said they got drunk and went their separate ways at the end of the night.

My Aries guy has a history of drugs and alcohol. That was a 10 years ago. He's clean now. I've never done drugs, I don't drink alcohol. I'm his grounded woman. I support his dreams. Encourage him. I give him stability.

We have a lot of common interests. Everything he likes. I like. Without forcing it. It flows

That girl, I don't know her sign. Gets new boyfriends every week. Drinks. Seem to be a mess. Has nothing in common with my Aries.

And now, he's going to that convention with her

Last night, he added me on Snapchat. After he told me he didn't want to make one because Snapchat is stupid. I texted him right after with: "Let me guess, that girl is on Snapchat and you wanna see her stories now haha" he didn't reply

So, why is he chasing her like that?

And how should I handle it? I feel like this girl is his current obsession or thrill. Part of me wants to be protective but I'm not sure he's gonna like it. I wanna message her and say "I think there's a misunderstanding, I'm going to that convention with my bf but feel free to join us. The more the merrier" and play it cool

He's an Aries with moon in Aqua and Venus in Taurus

He is interested in her. The whole story is made up, in my opinion he is a player. Just my 2cent

And it's probably more than likely sexual he'll be right back. If u want him. Aries likes to chase then give up the catch. I personally give up the catch when I almost already got u. If u have u it's too late my interest has been worn off and I'm already bored. Aries men are wayyyyyyyyyy worse

Posted by Sheever
He is interested in her. The whole story is made up, in my opinion he is a player. Just my 2cent

this

if he is interested in you, why would he get a hotel room with a female co-worker - no

Posted by bittercupcake
Girl why are you even around? Your standing your ground for a man that isn't yours officially.

Plus, Sheever is right. This guy is into the other chick and used you.

Are you a Cap or a Taurus?

Cap/Sag cusp.

I'm still around because we've been together for a while now. But that girl in a new thing and I don't know how to handle it.

We practically live together

Posted by tiziani
I feel like you use "intellectually" as a massive euphemism. The rest of your story was confusing to me but it doesn't sound good.

I did not. He's an introvert and we can talk for hours about topics. We intellectually vibe together. On psychology, science, futuristic ideas. Hard to explain I guess. But he tell me that having an intellectual connection with something was the most important thing. Followed by sex. We have both

Posted by miriyahhh
And it's probably more than likely sexual he'll be right back. If u want him. Aries likes to chase then give up the catch. I personally give up the catch when I almost already got u. If u have u it's too late my interest has been worn off and I'm already bored. Aries men are wayyyyyyyyyy worse

Yeah, I know aries are like that. But we've been together for a while now.

You don't plan an oversea trip and concerts unless it's serious. I know this girl is just a chase. But how do I handle it?

I also know aries are immature. Do I take control?

Cause I'm ready to talk to that girl and tell her how it is

Omg

I met this one Aries with a Venus n Taurus



We worked together and he waa trying to date me but was in love with my coworker/friend on the low.

Always bringing her up. She couldn't care less about him. But that is what turned him on. The Chase. She was literally the topic of most of our conversations.

I finally called him out on it and he finally admitted to it.

He's playin you and using you as a screensaver. His sights are on the unattainable.

Posted by LinoleumGirl

Posted by bittercupcake
Girl why are you even around? Your standing your ground for a man that isn't yours officially.

Plus, Sheever is right. This guy is into the other chick and used you.

Are you a Cap or a Taurus?

Cap/Sag cusp.

I'm still around because we've been together for a while now. But that girl in a new thing and I don't know how to handle it.

We practically live together

click to expand

Great. So you don't live together. Cut ties.

You want a man who worships you how you worship him.

This man don't worship you.

It's okay to be alone and give up on the time you invested.

Any more time you waste is on you from this minute on.

If you want the temporary focus back on you, temporarily, you must be genuine with the fact that you are done and will not put up with this behavior.

However, Aries are childlike. He will hear you but do his own thing.

He will say whatever and do his own thing.

Posted by bittercupcake

Posted by LinoleumGirl

Posted by bittercupcake
Girl why are you even around? Your standing your ground for a man that isn't yours officially.

Plus, Sheever is right. This guy is into the other chick and used you.

Are you a Cap or a Taurus?

Cap/Sag cusp.

I'm still around because we've been together for a while now. But that girl in a new thing and I don't know how to handle it.

We practically live together

Oooh. Well I know Cap and Aries are a difficult match. Caps have a tendency to parent and nag an Aries and Aries men act like children. So they rebel and go against the grain. I've known a few Cap women/Aries male couples and the Aries male always cheated on the Cap woman. It seems like this Aries might be seeking other women out because he's bored of the relationship or simply out of spite.

click to expand

Not all of them like that. Aries can commit strong to woman who have strength and stands up herself,while stay feminine and they built strong bond. No way aries will cheat on women like that unless she betrayed.

Honestly if you want to keep him, kick him out. He will respect you more than before.

I am aries, with a cap woman. No way cheating her. I rather break up than cheating and must be strong reason to do so.

Posted by LinoleumGirl

Posted by miriyahhh
And it's probably more than likely sexual he'll be right back. If u want him. Aries likes to chase then give up the catch. I personally give up the catch when I almost already got u. If u have u it's too late my interest has been worn off and I'm already bored. Aries men are wayyyyyyyyyy worse

Yeah, I know aries are like that. But we've been together for a while now.

You don't plan an oversea trip and concerts unless it's serious. I know this girl is just a chase. But how do I handle it?

I also know aries are immature. Do I take control?

Cause I'm ready to talk to that girl and tell her how it is

click to expand

OK since you're a Cap I can give a Lil insight my Cap gets very cold. To the point I literally would be like imma date someone else. Maybe your hot and cold? And he's Tryna to make a point? Something I MAY do if I feel like we've been getting to a relationship and you all of a sudden pull away. Also is aries live on fun and since u don't drink smoke your very safe and u may or may not go anywhere. I don't like sag because they like to play hot and cold. But aries are very impatient. If u want him let him know asap or if u disappear just leave him alone hell probably already be it's he other girl IMO

Posted by bittercupcake

Posted by Sheever

Posted by bittercupcake

Posted by LinoleumGirl

Posted by bittercupcake
Girl why are you even around? Your standing your ground for a man that isn't yours officially.

Plus, Sheever is right. This guy is into the other chick and used you.

Are you a Cap or a Taurus?

Cap/Sag cusp.

I'm still around because we've been together for a while now. But that girl in a new thing and I don't know how to handle it.

We practically live together

Oooh. Well I know Cap and Aries are a difficult match. Caps have a tendency to parent and nag an Aries and Aries men act like children. So they rebel and go against the grain. I've known a few Cap women/Aries male couples and the Aries male always cheated on the Cap woman. It seems like this Aries might be seeking other women out because he's bored of the relationship or simply out of spite.

Not all of them like that. Aries can commit strong to woman who have strength and stands up herself,while stay feminine and they built strong bond. No way aries will cheat on women like that unless she betrayed.

Honestly if you want to keep him, kick him out. He will respect you more than before.

I am aries, with a cap woman. No way cheating her. I rather break up than cheating and must be strong reason to do so.

I know it's not all of them, but chances are you have a secure Capricorn woman. It would be easier when both are very mature otherwise you'll get an obsessive Cap woman which Aries will rebel against.

click to expand

Yes, I know the situation, she is obsessive too. (OK, it seems it's some capricorn thing then) I try to not taking offensively so not rebelling but let her know she pulling in problems wasn't there at the first place and no reason to do so. See my post in the cap forum 🙂

You re similar, or just well experienced?

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LinoleumGirl

Posted by tiziani
I feel like you use "intellectually" as a massive euphemism. The rest of your story was confusing to me but it doesn't sound good.

I did not. He's an introvert and we can talk for hours about topics. We intellectually vibe together. On psychology, science, futuristic ideas. Hard to explain I guess. But he tell me that having an intellectual connection with something was the most important thing. Followed by sex. We have both

Is that enough for you? Because you mentioned drugs and alcohol from his side, which seems separate. Your posts sound like you want more.

click to expand

He's been done with drugs for 10 years. I was explaining his destructive behavior.

He always seem to pick the most destructive options in life. Chaotic relationships as opposed to stable ones.

Getting really drunk when angry. It never happened with me. We don't fight. But problems at work led to him drinking. Those sort of things.

This girl seem to be a mess and I feel like he's attracted to her because he likes the chaos

Posted by LinoleumGirl

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LinoleumGirl

Posted by tiziani
I feel like you use "intellectually" as a massive euphemism. The rest of your story was confusing to me but it doesn't sound good.

I did not. He's an introvert and we can talk for hours about topics. We intellectually vibe together. On psychology, science, futuristic ideas. Hard to explain I guess. But he tell me that having an intellectual connection with something was the most important thing. Followed by sex. We have both

Is that enough for you? Because you mentioned drugs and alcohol from his side, which seems separate. Your posts sound like you want more.

He's been done with drugs for 10 years. I was explaining his destructive behavior.

He always seem to pick the most destructive options in life. Chaotic relationships as opposed to stable ones.

Getting really drunk when angry. It never happened with me. We don't fight. But problems at work led to him drinking. Those sort of things.

This girl seem to be a mess and I feel like he's attracted to her because he likes the chaos

click to expand

The girl does not matter if mess, if he can be seduced its him, not the girl. That drinking stuff must be exhausting.

Posted by LinoleumGirl

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LinoleumGirl

Posted by tiziani
I feel like you use "intellectually" as a massive euphemism. The rest of your story was confusing to me but it doesn't sound good.

I did not. He's an introvert and we can talk for hours about topics. We intellectually vibe together. On psychology, science, futuristic ideas. Hard to explain I guess. But he tell me that having an intellectual connection with something was the most important thing. Followed by sex. We have both

Is that enough for you? Because you mentioned drugs and alcohol from his side, which seems separate. Your posts sound like you want more.

He's been done with drugs for 10 years. I was explaining his destructive behavior.

He always seem to pick the most destructive options in life. Chaotic relationships as opposed to stable ones.

Getting really drunk when angry. It never happened with me. We don't fight. But problems at work led to him drinking. Those sort of things.

This girl seem to be a mess and I feel like he's attracted to her because he likes the chaos

click to expand

She is a mirror for him......mess attracts mess

He got off work. No text. Not even to what I texted this morning. He left it on read.

He added her on twitter and he replied to her after work. Not to me.

I wanna send the following text:

Hey, I think I'll leave you alone. I just feel like you don't want me around anymore. I guess you found something else to chase!

I don't open up the way I did with you with everyone. You meant a lot to me, I thought I did too since we shared so many interests. Guess not! Have a good one!

Or, I call him and I ask what's going on and tell him I'm upset that he's acting this way with me. Tell him I have feelings for him.

But he already knows that. Maybe I didn't say it clear enough. Being a Cap.

He knows I'm into him and he knows I want more. We've talked about it so much, and he told me he want it as well

Posted by LinoleumGirl
He got off work. No text. Not even to what I texted this morning. He left it on read.

He added her on twitter and he replied to her after work. Not to me.

I wanna send the following text:

Hey, I think I'll leave you alone. I just feel like you don't want me around anymore. I guess you found something else to chase!

I don't open up the way I did with you with everyone. You meant a lot to me, I thought I did too since we shared so many interests. Guess not! Have a good one!

I am sure others will have better advice, but please, dont send him this text! just lay low, dont do anything, just ignore it and him....

if he has you, he can act like a child, and they have a common theme: the mess and chaos.... if he can come back to you any time, he will enjoy the chaos, because he knows he can come back to you any time...

dont text him and dont text the girl (the girl has nothing to do with it, dont harass her)

just let them be, dont worry, he will not be interested for a long time

if he has you as a security blanket, he will act out

just my feeling about it

I would just stop communicating with him (as some Aries male suggested here, kick him out)

He was upset the co workers bf was staying in the room with him so he couldn’t have sex with her......

How does that make u feel??

Don’t worry about it, it’s not your business what he sees in her.

But men do love helpless women and messy women. They like to save. I’d move on.

Posted by LinoleumGirl
we were talking and he told me he had gotten a room with that girl/coworker for the event, which was news to me. And how upset he was with her for having a boyfriend now. Something she didn't disclose and how her bf will be in the room too. Because they had planned to do a couples costumes as her request.

I wanna message her and say "I think there's a misunderstanding, I'm going to that convention with my bf but feel free to join us. The more the merrier" and play it cool

The only reason he's bringing you is to 'get back at her' for having a boyfriend. There is obviously something more going on there than a coworker/aquaintence level. Think about it.

The couples costume is a huge red flag considering he's in a couple with you.

I don't know why your so focused on her. He's the one in a relationship with you. He's the one whose acting shady and disrespecting you. Getting a hotel room with another female, fuck no.

Redirect your focus. Time to check him, not her.

Kick him out. Honestly. That is your only chance. He needs a wake up call. He won’t respect you otherwise.

If you kick him out and he cares for you he will get scared, stop, and come back to you.

And if he doesn’t. He doesn’t deserve you and you will be so much better without him.

What he is doing to you is inaceptable. Put your feet down girl. You deserve more.

This Aries men need to be put in their place every now and then, and you need to be strong to do it or he will destroy you with out even realizing it.

Tell him you have had enough of this!

Posted by pisceswoman123
Kick him out. Honestly. That is your only chance. He needs a wake up call. He won’t respect you otherwise.

If you kick him out and he cares for you he will get scared, stop, and come back to you.

And if he doesn’t. He doesn’t deserve you and you will be so much better without him.

What he is doing to you is inaceptable. Put your feet down girl. You deserve more.

This Aries men need to be put in their place every now and then, and you need to be strong to do it or he will destroy you with out even realizing it.

Tell him you have had enough of this!

How do I kick him out? He didn't talk to me all day but replied to me on twitter before bed. I ignored him.

I've never been put in this situation before. I literally don't know how to do that!

Do I take his things and leave them by the door? Call him and tell him it's over? Talk over coffee? Yell?

Something that will work on an Aries

Don’t contact him. At all. He needs to know that he is doing wrong and that you won’t take it. Do your life and ignore him completely.

If he comes to see you in person, then you have a chance to talk and tell him that you have had enough of this behavior with this girl and that you won’t tolerate it. Finish with him. He needs to know that he will loose you if he gets like this.

If he cares for you he will come back as the man you really want. He will be better. If he doesn’t you just have to move on because he doesn’t care for you and you will be better without him.