Aries what is rude and what blunt to you?

This topic was created in the Aries forum by Parkourler on Sunday, September 4, 2016 and has 29 replies.


Hi,

I recently discussed the difference between bluntness and rudeness with my aries gf and her aries friends. There are some things I find just offensive and they dont. Telling the truth without sugarcoating is one thing, but there has to be drawn a line don`t you think. I give you a few examples and then you tell me what you think.

1. There is a guy who is less succesfull discussing with one of her girls. She tells him youre a loser so piss of. She thought it was okay to say that. I dont think so.

2. Her boss a doctor is pretty blunt. She once said to a collegue " I dont think you are competent enough for this patient because his symptoms cannot be a clear indicator for just one disease. There are overlapping diagnoses with similar symptoms. I give to some one with more experience and who can spot more sublte indications.

Dont have a problem with that, the use of the phrase competent enough is a bit harsh though.

3. One likes to give orders. "Put the fork on there and there. Tell me what you found out".

4. They are quick thinkers and immediately tell everybody what to do. First of all I am a taurus and second I dont like

to be told what to do.

What do you think about the 4 Situations`?
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I am more like No.2.

I have actually met more non-Aries people who are like No.1 and No.3. I only know of 1 Aries in real life who is definitely like No.3 - but she will never end with giving you a voice for feedback. She basically doesn't welcome feedback.

But communication is more than just the sun sign, really. The sun sign gives you an overall view of the person but not the details.
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I could take it or leave it. I try to be cordial and sensitive in this culture of overcuddled psychiatric medicine takers, but often I just dgaf
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My mercury is in Aries. So basically that means you're going to get the honest truth from me, but I know how to voice that with tact.

1. I would NEVER call someone a loser or tell them to piss off. I don't like hurting peoples feelings.

2. instead of calling the person incompetent, I would say "this patient requires someone with more experience to treat them because their symptoms are complicated but I'd like you to treat alongside (more experienced person), as a learning opportunity so you're prepared in the future for this kind of case"

3. This is me. Except I say please & thank you

Now I will say that on the rare occasion that someone pushes me too far (I'm very patient thanks to my Taurus sun) I do have the ability, as Red said, to cut a person with my words. I can be vicious. I don't like this because I feel really guilty afterwards and pretty much always apologize for acting out. Words can't be taken back so I take what I say really serious. No matter what anyone does or says to me, I should have control of my reaction & I hate it when I lose it.

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Posted by Parkourler

Hi,

I recently discussed the difference between bluntness and rudeness with my aries gf and her aries friends. There are some things I find just offensive and they dont. Telling the truth without sugarcoating is one thing, but there has to be drawn a line don`t you think. I give you a few examples and then you tell me what you think.

1. There is a guy who is less succesfull discussing with one of her girls. She tells him youre a loser so piss of. She thought it was okay to say that. I dont think so.

2. Her boss a doctor is pretty blunt. She once said to a collegue " I dont think you are competent enough for this patient because his symptoms cannot be a clear indicator for just one disease. There are overlapping diagnoses with similar symptoms. I give to some one with more experience and who can spot more sublte indications.

Dont have a problem with that, the use of the phrase competent enough is a bit harsh though.

3. One likes to give orders. "Put the fork on there and there. Tell me what you found out".

4. They are quick thinkers and immediately tell everybody what to do. First of all I am a taurus and second I dont like

to be told what to do.

What do you think about the 4 Situations`?
First off, I can't stand rude people. I'm kinda like #2. It's not being rude, it's being honest & blunt about a patients disease that shouldn't be handled by a person that can't handle all of that. #1 is just plain mean. I can be a little demanding like in #3 but in a sweet way & a nice voice, nothing harsh.

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#3 and #4 are me. It's not "liking to give orders." It's clear instructions. People complain about directness when giving instructions and complain that instructions were not clear.

"Please" and "thank you" is required for the most mundane requests or instructions to soothe.

I actually have been in a position to lead and teach all of my life. Started out as the firstborn of five.... and then in my career... to being a mother. I don't know much difference.

At one point, I was tired of leading and just wanted to coast for once in my life but, people actually got angry and accused me of setting the team up for failure. It's interesting and funny.

I had to anaylze from many socio-cultural perspectives and discussed with many people. It was in fact more socio-cultural then anything else. It wasn't about me.

So, I adjust my communication style to suit whomever I am speaking to. It is exhausting but, I do it well. It requires you to quickly and accurately analyze a person before or while speaking to them.... exhausting.

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My husband is very harsh, short, and to the point... and passionate.

But, no one cares about it because he is a man.
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Posted by Parkourler

Hi,

I recently discussed the difference between bluntness and rudeness with my aries gf and her aries friends. There are some things I find just offensive and they dont. Telling the truth without sugarcoating is one thing, but there has to be drawn a line don`t you think. I give you a few examples and then you tell me what you think.

1. There is a guy who is less succesfull discussing with one of her girls. She tells him youre a loser so piss of. She thought it was okay to say that. I dont think so.

2. Her boss a doctor is pretty blunt. She once said to a collegue " I dont think you are competent enough for this patient because his symptoms cannot be a clear indicator for just one disease. There are overlapping diagnoses with similar symptoms. I give to some one with more experience and who can spot more sublte indications.

Dont have a problem with that, the use of the phrase competent enough is a bit harsh though.

3. One likes to give orders. "Put the fork on there and there. Tell me what you found out".

4. They are quick thinkers and immediately tell everybody what to do. First of all I am a taurus and second I dont like

to be told what to do.

What do you think about the 4 Situations`?
I don't even understand the context of #1.

#2 seems like a rebuttal... after having had to explain and it's just not getting through.


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The butthurt in this post is strong.
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this is more the Aries mercury - they just cant help it..... they speak before thinking - whatever comes to their mind

like shooting before asking

their excuse is: but I am telling the truth!

the truth is relative tho - they tell the first thing, whithout consideration... I dont consider what they say on the first whim the " truth".. just immaturity and/or not giving the situation the proper thought.... a clever person knows always, what to say.... a wise person knows, if it should be said..... big difference

the situation, where you observed all the things involved, thought about it and then give a blunt answear is different to the situation, where the aires sees something and giving away "harsh", "blunt", "truthful" opinions based on their first impression.... thats why I say: their truth is relative smile smile

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Posted by VenusAquarius
#3 and #4 is me. It's not "liking to give orders." It's clear instructions. People complain about directness when giving instructions and complain that instructions were not clear.



Well it depends on the context. If you are a boss or a parent you have the right to give instructions. I am talking about

social circle in your spare time. In that context everybody shows up voluntarily, so nobody is the boss, unless he or she is accepted as the boss. That`s where my problems with the aries in my social circle starts. If they give me instructions they only get a thump down, ans then they get angry. And even if they do say please sometimes problems arise, because they are fast thinkers, so when I am thinking they already have a plan. I dont want just to play along. Maybe I am not with aries people, I am not even sure if I get along with my gf, she is the same way.
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Rude is when a person reacts to what they assume the situation is and they have zero finesse in delivering their message.

Blunt is when a person spent at least 30 seconds computing the situation and comes up with a firm and constructive response.
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Librasaurusrex +1!

Regarding the topic, I'd like to say that I hate it when people attempt to justify their obnoxious and inconsiderate disposition, immaturity, hostility and especially their psychological instability with the claim that they're blunt and "sick of bullshit" or whatever other void of content reason they give.

People can be so mean, using language I don't even encounter on the Internet, insulting in such a harsh manner... and when confronted, replying something of the sort: " I'm just blunt, bitch, something you can't be". What the hell... self-assertion isn't equivalent to acting surly and unmannerly. Bluntness can instead be used (again without mortifying others) to get the discussion going. Rude behaviour obstructs any discussion or debate. In terms of giving an honest opinion, being rude is simultaneously being derogatory.

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well the definition of BLUNT is supposed to be hard edged and not soft. it's the opposite of soft.

it hurts.


http://www.thefreedictionary.com/blunt

blunt

(blŭnt)

adj. blunt·er, blunt·est

1. Having a dull edge or end; not sharp.

2.

a. Abrupt and often disconcertingly frank in speech: "People [in the Western US] are blunt with one another, sometimes even cruel, believing honesty is stronger medicine than sympathy" (Gretel Ehrlich). See Synonyms at gruff.

b. Stark; unadorned: "The blunt truth ... is that he is devoid of political courage" (Jeff Jacoby).

3. Slow to perceive, understand, or feel; dull or insensitive: "I felt blunt with shock when I heard the news" (Sallie Bingham).

v. blunt·ed, blunt·ing, blunts

v.tr.

1. To dull the edge of (a knife, for example).

2. To make less effective; weaken: blunting the criticism with a smile.

v.intr.

To become blunt: When the scraper blade blunts, you will have to replace it.

n.

1. A cigar whose interior has been hollowed out and filled with marijuana.

2. A marijuana cigarette that has been rolled in a cigar's tobacco leaf wrapper instead of rolling paper



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but it's not soft and sympathiezing and not sensitive. sensitivity helps us feel safe and happy and secured.

bluntness and cruelty or words hurt and will only make an effective hate towards the bearer of the bluntness.

like for example, if your mother or father started saying stuff like that to you, you would feel offended hurt, and cry and think they are the cruelest parents.

or if a teacher said to you, that you lack brain cells, ect. that is just uncalled for too.

I think those are rude and crass.

but blunt with sympathy, does it even exist?

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Something rude and blunt that my Aries had done to me.

Take things without asking.

Eat my food that I bring home.

When she is done in the bathroom she don't spray or turn on the vent.
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No, I think you’re wrong with this, Aries do not have the intention of being rude or mean, they see being clear direct and honest and beneficial and a good thing. At the end of the day it’s done with good intentions and to avoid wasting time.

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Posted by Fragrance
Librasaurusrex +1!

Regarding the topic, I'd like to say that I hate it when people attempt to justify their obnoxious and inconsiderate disposition, immaturity, hostility and especially their psychological instability with the claim that they're blunt and "sick of bullshit" or whatever other void of content reason they give.

People can be so mean, using language I don't even encounter on the Internet, insulting in such a harsh manner... and when confronted, replying something of the sort: " I'm just blunt, bitch, something you can't be". What the hell... self-assertion isn't equivalent to acting surly and unmannerly. Bluntness can instead be used (again without mortifying others) to get the discussion going. Rude behaviour obstructs any discussion or debate. In terms of giving an honest opinion, being rude is simultaneously being derogatory.

This. I think it is possible to say harsh truths in a more considerate way. And that has nothing to do with asskissing.

If you get your message across with softer words but in a fierce demeanor, it has the same effect. Harsh truths are already harsh so why making it worse?

See example nr 2. She used the word incompetent. That word is pretty mean and has a putting down effect. Just because someone has yet limited skills doesnt make him or her incompetent.

She could have said: I think you are not ready to try because ... .... whatever.


And it is bullshit that taurus want a wallflower, we dont want weak insecure women. Her playfulness and humour drawed me to her. Now that the butterflies start leaving my stomach, i see more and more, that there are many things, that can lead to big fights. First off all, I am not fast. My decision making process is slow and thorough. I am far less aggressive

and competitive, if at all. Maybe this will be just a nice summer affair, the wheather is still good here in germany and the party scene is great. There are a lot things where we don`t speak the same language.
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Posted by AriesLove
Posted by Solesan
Something rude and blunt that my Aries had done to me.

Take things without asking.

Eat my food that I bring home.

When she is done in the bathroom she don't spray or turn on the vent.
How can someone eat your food that you bring home?

If it's in the house it should be for everyone. If you brought it just for yourself than you're inconsiderate.

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I suppose you're right. No use arguing with an aries woman. ;p
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In her defense, she'd probably has a list of rude things I've done to her.
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My Aries brother who I help take care is nothing like that he's a triple Aries with a Capricorn Rising.
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IDK.. My aries bestfriend and me are never rude.. Well.. I hope I am not unless it's inevitable like, for example, when people overstep my personal boundary I do run away.

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Posted by Parkourler

Hi,

I recently discussed the difference between bluntness and rudeness with my aries gf and her aries friends. There are some things I find just offensive and they dont. Telling the truth without sugarcoating is one thing, but there has to be drawn a line don`t you think. I give you a few examples and then you tell me what you think.

1. There is a guy who is less succesfull discussing with one of her girls. She tells him youre a loser so piss of. She thought it was okay to say that. I dont think so.

2. Her boss a doctor is pretty blunt. She once said to a collegue " I dont think you are competent enough for this patient because his symptoms cannot be a clear indicator for just one disease. There are overlapping diagnoses with similar symptoms. I give to some one with more experience and who can spot more sublte indications.

Dont have a problem with that, the use of the phrase competent enough is a bit harsh though.

3. One likes to give orders. "Put the fork on there and there. Tell me what you found out".

4. They are quick thinkers and immediately tell everybody what to do. First of all I am a taurus and second I dont like

to be told what to do.

What do you think about the 4 Situations`?
1. a sign and verbage of the times no~

2. meh, six of one, half-dozen of another

3. more direct than indirect - again - rude and blunt is so close for most ...

4. some, not all - and if you don't like it - tell them - maybe it's the only way they might learn what they are doing to offend

people see and take things different ways - I prefer direct because I am direct and can deal with the black and white better than the gray - some people live in the gray and they are so alien to me I can't handle being around them for long especially at work





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Posted by Solesan
Posted by AriesLove
Posted by Solesan
Something rude and blunt that my Aries had done to me.

Take things without asking.

Eat my food that I bring home.

When she is done in the bathroom she don't spray or turn on the vent.
How can someone eat your food that you bring home?

If it's in the house it should be for everyone. If you brought it just for yourself than you're inconsiderate.

I suppose you're right. No use arguing with an aries woman. ;p
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tff!
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There is a very fine line. The problem with trying to be tactful is that smart people will pick up on what you're insinuating. So, if you think someone is incompetent but you want to phrase it in a way that doesn't hurt their feelings, the person picks up on A) you don't think they're competent and B) you've just insulted their intelligence by thinking they don't realize what you're really trying to say to them. So, in trying to preserve someone's feelings...you just called them incompetent and stupid when you could have just told them the job requires more experience than they currently have.

And a dumb person won't pick up at all that you think they're incompetent so they're unlikely to do anything about it which only leads to more frustration. Then you pawn them off on someone else and the dumb person doesn't realize they're being trained.

I cannot stand someone to bullshit me. Tell me the straight truth. You don't have to be insulting but simply "Some of these patients require a more experienced diagnostic team/caregiver/whatever."

Hurt me with the truth rather than comfort me with a lie. What comes to mind is American Idol auditions. lol. I don't know why. Simon Cowell was mean but it was what they really needed to hear. If I'm a horrible singer, I don't want people trying to be tactful and telling me I sound "okay" and letting me embarrass myself on national tv. Or someone being nice and suggesting more singing lessons so I can waste my money not knowing that I just don't have what it takes. It might hurt a lot at first but it's better than feeling lied to when I finally realize the truth.
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To me bluntness is more like forthrightness, as in: "It would be extremely helpful to me if you wouldn't browse Facebook and help me get these tasks done, thank you."

Rudeness is: "Your hair is a weave right? Your hair isn't that long or full."

I've said the former, a woman said the latter to one of my co-workers. So rude
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Posted by Parkourler
Posted by Fragrance
Librasaurusrex +1!

Regarding the topic, I'd like to say that I hate it when people attempt to justify their obnoxious and inconsiderate disposition, immaturity, hostility and especially their psychological instability with the claim that they're blunt and "sick of bullshit" or whatever other void of content reason they give.

People can be so mean, using language I don't even encounter on the Internet, insulting in such a harsh manner... and when confronted, replying something of the sort: " I'm just blunt, bitch, something you can't be". What the hell... self-assertion isn't equivalent to acting surly and unmannerly. Bluntness can instead be used (again without mortifying others) to get the discussion going. Rude behaviour obstructs any discussion or debate. In terms of giving an honest opinion, being rude is simultaneously being derogatory.

This. I think it is possible to say harsh truths in a more considerate way. And that has nothing to do with asskissing.

If you get your message across with softer words but in a fierce demeanor, it has the same effect. Harsh truths are already harsh so why making it worse?

See example nr 2. She used the word incompetent. That word is pretty mean and has a putting down effect. Just because someone has yet limited skills doesnt make him or her incompetent.

She could have said: I think you are not ready to try because ... .... whatever.


And it is bullshit that taurus want a wallflower, we dont want weak insecure women. Her playfulness and humour drawed me to her. Now that the butterflies start leaving my stomach, i see more and more, that there are many things, that can lead to big fights. First off all, I am not fast. My decision making process is slow and thorough. I am far less aggressive

and competitive, if at all. Maybe this will be just a nice summer affair, the wheather is still good here in germany and the party scene is great. There are a lot things where we don`t speak the same language.


Parklourer,

Which synonym would you prefer for "competent?" I really want to know. Here is the definition and synonyms:

Competent - having the necessary ability, knowledge, or skill to do something successfully.

"a highly competent surgeon"

•(of a person) efficient and capable.

"an infinitely competent mother of three"

synonyms: capable, able, proficient, adept, adroit, accomplished, complete, skillful, skilled, credentialed, gifted, talented, expert; More

Furthermore, in your original post and according to you, she did not use the word "incompetent." Your original post is as follows:

Posted by Parkourler

Hi,

I recently discussed the difference between bluntness and rudeness with my aries gf and her aries friends. There are some things I find just offensive and they dont. Telling the truth without sugarcoating is one thing, but there has to be drawn a line don`t you think. I give you a few examples and then you tell me what you think.

2. Her boss a doctor is pretty blunt. She once said to a collegue " I dont think you are competent enough for this patient because his symptoms cannot be a clear indicator for just one disease. There are overlapping diagnoses with similar symptoms. I give to some one with more experience and who can spot more sublte indications.


click to expand

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Posted by AriSaturn
There is a very fine line. The problem with trying to be tactful is that smart people will pick up on what you're insinuating. So, if you think someone is incompetent but you want to phrase it in a way that doesn't hurt their feelings, the person picks up on A) you don't think they're competent and B) you've just insulted their intelligence by thinking they don't realize what you're really trying to say to them. So, in trying to preserve someone's feelings...you just called them incompetent and stupid when you could have just told them the job requires more experience than they currently have.

And a dumb person won't pick up at all that you think they're incompetent so they're unlikely to do anything about it which only leads to more frustration. Then you pawn them off on someone else and the dumb person doesn't realize they're being trained.

I cannot stand someone to bullshit me. Tell me the straight truth. You don't have to be insulting but simply "Some of these patients require a more experienced diagnostic team/caregiver/whatever."

Hurt me with the truth rather than comfort me with a lie. What comes to mind is American Idol auditions. lol. I don't know why. Simon Cowell was mean but it was what they really needed to hear. If I'm a horrible singer, I don't want people trying to be tactful and telling me I sound "okay" and letting me embarrass myself on national tv. Or someone being nice and suggesting more singing lessons so I can waste my money not knowing that I just don't have what it takes. It might hurt a lot at first but it's better than feeling lied to when I finally realize the truth.


Interesting never saw it that way. Some truths are harsh by nature. I wouldnt know how to say you are a horrible singer in a more tactful way. You dont have what it takes, you have a bad voice, a below average voice? Horrible is much more clear and to the point.

You are Venusaquarius she said not competent enough, my mistake. I think not competent enough has a slight putting down effect, as not good enoug, you suck. Id prefer Arisaturns "Some of these patients require a more experienced diagnostic team/caregiver/whatever." But I am starting to split hair. It is difficult to say harsh truths in a tactful without bullshitting and its subjective, to what is too hard and what not. What I can say for sure is, avoid putting people down dont make it personal refer only to the subject at hand. I think everybody could agree on that.

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Posted by AriSaturn
There is a very fine line. The problem with trying to be tactful is that smart people will pick up on what you're insinuating. So, if you think someone is incompetent but you want to phrase it in a way that doesn't hurt their feelings, the person picks up on A) you don't think they're competent and B) you've just insulted their intelligence by thinking they don't realize what you're really trying to say to them. So, in trying to preserve someone's feelings...you just called them incompetent and stupid when you could have just told them the job requires more experience than they currently have.

And a dumb person won't pick up at all that you think they're incompetent so they're unlikely to do anything about it which only leads to more frustration. Then you pawn them off on someone else and the dumb person doesn't realize they're being trained.

I cannot stand someone to bullshit me. Tell me the straight truth. You don't have to be insulting but simply "Some of these patients require a more experienced diagnostic team/caregiver/whatever."

Hurt me with the truth rather than comfort me with a lie. What comes to mind is American Idol auditions. lol. I don't know why. Simon Cowell was mean but it was what they really needed to hear. If I'm a horrible singer, I don't want people trying to be tactful and telling me I sound "okay" and letting me embarrass myself on national tv. Or someone being nice and suggesting more singing lessons so I can waste my money not knowing that I just don't have what it takes. It might hurt a lot at first but it's better than feeling lied to when I finally realize the truth.
I agree w/ you but a lot of people will get hurt and it will make them go into deep depression if they can't take it.

to take on mars energy you have to have mars energy yourself imo. walking on eggshells all the time is just gonna stress out both people.
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