Do Aries have problems letting go???

This topic was created in the Aries forum by lildol on Friday, September 25, 2009 and has 16 replies.
My Aries girlfriend is driving me nuts!! Her boyfriend cheated on her back in May and that was that. But, she constantly talks about him, looking on his cousin's FB to see if he is in any family event photos, wondering if he still is dating the same woman, etc., etc. She has an urge to drive by his house despite it being out of the way and seems to struggle with fighting that erge to the extent that she will not even drive on the main road that leads to his house even if it is at a point on that particular road that is still 30 minutes from his house. It's the 3rd time we know of that he's cheated so it's not that she is interested in having him back... she's just obsessed with knowing what is going on in his life.
Similarly, she met a guy on a dating website back in July and they saw each other for about a month and a half at which point he decided the distance was too far and he had too much going on in his life with work and his kids. His profile is not active. But, she logs onto the site almost daily to see if 1) has he activated his profile and 2) when was the last time he was on (as it does indicate that because he is in her favorites despite his profile not being active). I get to hear about it, she'll call me up and ask if I can guess who was on that site within the past hour.
So, is this problem with 'letting go' normal Aries behavior?
She's interested in and dating other men too. I just don't get it!
How do I tell my girlfriend she is obsessing (she does admit she's a little OCD) and that she needs to move on without making her feel like I think she's crazy or hurting her feelings???
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Lol this is not just an "Aries" trait. I've known so many woman like this, none of them Aries.
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Posted by effedupgirl
she knows it's crazy. you don't have to tell her. she'll only move on when she finds someone to "replace the dogs that bit her". i'm an aries. and from my point of view..it's normal behavior. we can be a little stalkerish... but only if he ended the relationship and we weren't ready for that to happen. we need for all of our exes to want us back...even if we don't want them back. and if she's like me and you do end up telling her that she's acting like a fool...she'll laugh about it...cause she knows it's the truth, but she can't help it!


Effed up is correct. You don't need to tell her cause she's already aware. She's also right about the need for our exes to want us. Kind of sick (I know), but we like that feeling even if we want nothing to do with them.
She will get over it in time and once she is, she is.
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If you are able to live like that then do nothing, but if you are not, then clearly you have to show her that she is dosrespecting you by doing such things..so she has to stop doing that or you gonna leave her.
it's win/win for you both ways..
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Posted by Hypno
If you are able to live like that then do nothing, but if you are not, then clearly you have to show her that she is dosrespecting you by doing such things..so she has to stop doing that or you gonna leave her.
it's win/win for you both ways..


She's not THAT kind of girlfriend LOL
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From personal experience with an Aries ex:
I'm cancer and he's aries. It was long distance. We broke up once before in 2008 for 6 months I think and he never stopped calling until we got back together. Then we broke up again in February 2009 and I even change my cell but he kept calling my house. He'd stop calling for a month or two then start calling my house again. I'm not sure if it's an aries thing or if this guy truely wants tobe with me. It's almost pushy and needy.
Is your friend like this? Does she ignore people when they confront her and tell her to leave them alone?
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She's more passive aggressive about it... she is not contacting these guys, just obsessing over them and what they (potentially) are doing. She's resorted to calling me 'Dear Abby' as I give her alternative perspectives from what she is thinking (I tend to try to put out all other possible alternatives).
It's difficult for me to understand because she really approaches things opposite of me. I obsess more so on the front end of a relationship because I need direction and purpose, she's more likely to just go with it and enjoy the ride. I don't want to waste my time with something going nowhere, that's not to say I want to rush into a relationship, I just don't want to spend my time on a worthless cause. On the back end when it's over, it's over, I am not going to wast my time on the past. That doesn't move one forward in life.
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Do Aries have problems letting go???
Yes, sometimes they do.
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lildol, Once she is over it she will be OVER IT!! right now she is hurting very much. Aries feel deeply when hurt and we get really REALLY angry. She is feeling angry right now. betrayed and she wants him to hurt. She will have to ride this out.
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Aries have no problem moving on... along... and letting it be over, when its over. I have NEVER had trouble getting over any of my exes. When I did the breaking up, it was especially easy for me to move right along. When its more mutual, it still never took me much time to bounce back. But in ONE case, just ONE CASE... I let myself be completely open, allowing a scorpio in... he's like an infection that I have yet to find a cure for. I hate it. I would love to find his replacement or bounce back to reality, like usual, but I can't. Im hurt deeply, sad, and miss him more than anything. We only dated for a few months and broke up SEVERAL months back... I totally feel her. Its sad.
I have no advice for you other than to be there for her she will develop a whole new respect for you. Aries don't like to show or tell you when they need you. But when there friends are there without being asked, aries feel important and will place you on a high pedestal. Forever you'll be repaid. But if you're not there... you will never be forgiven.
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Posted by AwesomeAries
Aries have no problem moving on... along... and letting it be over, when its over. I have NEVER had trouble getting over any of my exes. When I did the breaking up, it was especially easy for me to move right along. When its more mutual, it still never took me much time to bounce back. But in ONE case, just ONE CASE... I let myself be completely open, allowing a scorpio in... he's like an infection that I have yet to find a cure for. I hate it. I would love to find his replacement or bounce back to reality, like usual, but I can't. Im hurt deeply, sad, and miss him more than anything. We only dated for a few months and broke up SEVERAL months back... I totally feel her. Its sad.
I have no advice for you other than to be there for her she will develop a whole new respect for you. Aries don't like to show or tell you when they need you. But when there friends are there without being asked, aries feel important and will place you on a high pedestal. Forever you'll be repaid. But if you're not there... you will never be forgiven.


Ha! Scorps will do that to us Aries everytime...know you are NOT alone.
Your last paragraph is so right on I get chills!
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Here's from a hardcore Aries...with Taurus moon...it took me 5 years to get over a love...then another came in...we broke up after 2 yrs...yes, went through the obsessive period...but because I felt "violated" somehow since I gave myself wholly...I am considered a flirt but that's because I am innately charming...but always been loyal and never cheated on anyone.
My core can be summed as: "It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye. Nothing hurts more than realizing that they meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to them. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."
But then again...you are looking at a hopeless romantic here Winking
She will get over it...her time...her pace...loyalty is just very deep for someone like me.
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yes, aries can have issues letting go. Especially if they have true feelings for a person, and that person hurt them like cheating on them. When I was with my ex-boyfriend, and I found out that he was cheating on me, I was beyond devastated. My whole world crashed. Everything that we were planning out seemed like a joke. The pain was beyond surreal, and I did act a little crazy. Why??? Out of pain. Out of anger. Out of resentment. Out of him seeing what he did. Out of wanting to hurt him back. Out of wanting to see what our lives COULD be. I told him that he was better off beating the shit out of me than to hurt me emotionally.
The poor boy had no idea what kind of fire he had lit. And truth be told, I didn't know how far I was willing to take it. Luckily I allowed myself to heal. It was a spiritual moment, but I was also pregnant at the time, so I really had reasons to be upset.
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Well, I think that she's waiting for the moment when she finally gets what's she's been looking for so that she can explode & give them a piece of her mind. She's doing all of this for a reason. She's looking for a reason to have contact with those people. What is her moon & venus? From what I know, Aries generally don't have problems with letting people go, especially if they were the ones to start the break. BUT, when they are left, abandoned & dumped (especially during hard times in their lives) the anger & fury in them ignites & it's almost as if they are holding on moreso out of needing more of a release of anger, instead of being so obsessive b/c they are still emotionally attached to that person. Aries hate to lose! So when they lose, it's almost for them, the same as someone setting their house on fire. They can hold grudges for long periods of time & usually these grudges come out through anger, vindictiveness & spite, versus through being super emotional through tears & emotions like pisces or cancers would, for example.
I think this girl is battling some emotional turmoil. Aries or not, she has a problem letting go & moving on. She doesn't deal with loss very well & the way that she's obsessing over those from her past is only holding her back. I'm sure it's ruining her ability to currently have good & fulfilling relationships. Also, this girl just seems very young-minded. Seems like she has some self-esteem issues & problems dealing with reality. She is more focused on watching other people live their lives moreso than her living her own life. And that's a problem. How have you approached her about this?
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Im a Virgo and I have an ex who is an Aries. He had just left for deployment and I dreamed one night that he was married. I confronted him on the telephone and he admitted it. So I broke up with him right then. We were always together so I had no inkling that there was someone else. He told me he was divorced when he was actually going through a divorce. I asked him a couple days before he left if he was married because I saw some documentation that made me wonder and he said no. Well anyways after I broke things off with him, he would not stop calling me or emailing me over our military accounts. He harassed the hell out of me. It got so bad I went to my chain of command about it and considered going to his. i could of have had his rank taken away because he basically committed adultery and admitted to me in emails that he lied to me. He has furniture in my condo and I have been trying to be nice to him because I still have to deal with him. But I just hope that when he comes back he will just get his stuff and leave me alone.
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@GeorgiaPeach..Well I'm sure the reason your Aries is so persistant is b/c you knowing what you know is a huge threat to all that he has (his career, his life & his family, if he has kids with this wife). And like I said earlier, Aries men hate to lose anything, especially something they've put lots of effort into (and I'm sure he put lots of effort into hiding that he was married). He might be so persistant in calling you b/c he fears that you will do exactly what you have the RIGHT to do, which is tell on him & report him. Alot of times, when Aries men they know they have alot to lose, they can become "bug-a-boos" out of anger & fear of the loss of control moreso than from emotionally wanting that person back. That's why they can sometimes be so confusing. We'd like to think that often times a guy that rings our phone off the hook is only doing so b/c he misses us & can't stand to go another day with out us. BUT if you notice, alot of the times Aries men become so persistant in the end is when there is something very valuable to them (often not even the girlfriend) that they stand a big chance of losing. Who knows, he might be calling you to convince you not to say anything to his wife. Or he might be calling to see where you're head is so that he'll know if he even stands the chance of potentially being ratted on.
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