Posted by CopperDoveThe problem is they're both equally my friends, I met them both around the same time when they weren't dating, shortly after I met them they started dating and I became closer to both of them, unfortunately I became a little more close to the guy and now I have this problem. So, he also writes to me and asks me to hang out.
I can imagine how tough that is for you Jardsi and agree that it's best that you only hang out with your female friend, if you can manage that.
Are there opportunities to just be one-on-one with your female friend? I know that some people when they couple up stop spending time with their friends separately, which isn't good. If that's the case, you could tell her you miss the one-to-one time and ask to do something together again.
Even in cases where there aren't feelings like this going on, it can sometimes feel awkward to be a kind of third wheel when hanging out with a couple. So that's a legit reason to not hang out with a couple.
The closest I came to what you describe is when a guy I felt some attraction to asked my best friend out instead. But I didn't know the guy that well so it wasn't particularly hurtful, then I started dating someone else around the same time, which solved the problem 100% .
Posted by CopperDoveMaybe I will invite her out, just her, but I feel like that would just make me feel guilty for having those feelings.... but maybe that's a good thing. I just feel like she might find out just from looking at me, my face gives away so much, all the time haha.
Yes, it might be that you have to stay away from both of them, for now anyway. I guess it's possible one of them might ask you why you keep turning down visits but I can understand why it would be awkward to tell them exactly why. The best you could do is try to go out with just your female friend alone - tell you you think it would be nice to just have a "girl's night" or whatever you want to call it (I don't like calling women who aren't teenagers girls, but you know what I mean, I'm sure, lol). It's normal to have a night like that sometimes so maybe she'd be keen.
By inappropriately, with how he acts, what does he do? Do you mean he does things that show interest in you as more than a friend?
Posted by cliqueyheh?
and then you ask why libraqueen is paranoid
Posted by CopperDoveI don't want to cause drama by mentioning something to him. Because I know he will question it, and wont let it go... and then if he says something to her, jesus... she's already a little dramatic as it is, she's a Leo.
It depends on what you're comfortable with in terms of spending time with her. There is also a danger of you feeling envy of her because she's with the person you're attracted to so the friendship could become very compromised.
I could handle seeing my good friend with the guy I felt some attraction to, but my feelings weren't strong about him in the first place, and then I was dating someone so there was no issue at all. Also my interest in the guy dropped a lot when he chose her.
Some people are more physical with joking around and it doesn't mean anything more than that, but hard to say with him. Whatever he means by it, it's making you anxious and that isn't okay for you at all, so you can ask him to please not do it because it's uncomfortable (you don't have to say more than that - no means no kind of thing, and hopefully he'll respect that). But for now staying away from both of them might be the best for you, then trying a girl's night out maybe at least once if it feels okay at some point.
It's a hard situation to be in, I can imagine! Hopefully you'll start to feel better and clearer about it, particularly if you stay away from them for longer than you have so far.
Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Posted by DMVMy 'sexy' is non-existent. Believe me, I've done nothing but attempt to avoid him for the last few weeks.Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Turn your sexy all the way down.
Be a good friendclick to expand
Posted by JardsiAh, okay! Then staying away indeed seems to be your best option for now. Anything else could make you feel worse. It's too bad that you're having to deal with this, but good that you're trying to do the right thing.Posted by CopperDoveI don't want to cause drama by mentioning something to him. Because I know he will question it, and wont let it go... and then if he says something to her, jesus... she's already a little dramatic as it is, she's a Leo.
It depends on what you're comfortable with in terms of spending time with her. There is also a danger of you feeling envy of her because she's with the person you're attracted to so the friendship could become very compromised.
I could handle seeing my good friend with the guy I felt some attraction to, but my feelings weren't strong about him in the first place, and then I was dating someone so there was no issue at all. Also my interest in the guy dropped a lot when he chose her.
Some people are more physical with joking around and it doesn't mean anything more than that, but hard to say with him. Whatever he means by it, it's making you anxious and that isn't okay for you at all, so you can ask him to please not do it because it's uncomfortable (you don't have to say more than that - no means no kind of thing, and hopefully he'll respect that). But for now staying away from both of them might be the best for you, then trying a girl's night out maybe at least once if it feels okay at some point.
It's a hard situation to be in, I can imagine! Hopefully you'll start to feel better and clearer about it, particularly if you stay away from them for longer than you have so far.
Eep!
Thanks for your help, I'll try staying away for a while longer, maybe spend more time with her.click to expand
Posted by JardsiPosted by DMVMy 'sexy' is non-existent. Believe me, I've done nothing but attempt to avoid him for the last few weeks.Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Turn your sexy all the way down.
Be a good friendclick to expand
Posted by DMVOh shut up. She hasn't even done anything with this guy, how has she disrespected their relationship? Because she has a crush on him? Big whoop. I don't see a problem, op, as long as you don't act on these feelings. Isolate yourself from him and you'll soon find someone else, I'm sure.Posted by JardsiPosted by DMVMy 'sexy' is non-existent. Believe me, I've done nothing but attempt to avoid him for the last few weeks.Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Turn your sexy all the way down.
Be a good friend
Obviously not everything if youre writing here.
Her man with you is really turning you on. Enough so that you feel gulity.
Not guilty enough to stop that freight train of i want your man.
You fed into the energy completely ignoring your friend and disrespecting her relationship.
Just tell youre friend so she can see who you both really are and she cant make the decision to 86 you both.click to expand
Posted by AriesLove
Just stop acting! You know you want the man and it doesn't matter if it's your friends man. You'd probably sleep with him if he made the proposal to you.
I don't care how sexy he is, he's been sleeping with your friend. That's turn off #1.
If he's making any kind of advances or acting inappropriately towards you he's probably thinking "I can have them both." That's turn off #2
You met them both at the same time, if he wanted you he would've went after you and not her....right.
That's turn off #3
Stop fantasizing over this fool and find your own man. There's plenty!
Posted by starwars
yuck no...im that friend who keep an eye on them to see if they're gonna hurt my friend or not ?
Posted by AriesIntrovert16Posted by DMVOh shut up. She hasn't even done anything with this guy, how has she disrespected their relationship? Because she has a crush on him? Big whoop. I don't see a problem, op, as long as you don't act on these feelings. Isolate yourself from him and you'll soon find someone else, I'm sure.Posted by JardsiPosted by DMVMy 'sexy' is non-existent. Believe me, I've done nothing but attempt to avoid him for the last few weeks.Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Turn your sexy all the way down.
Be a good friend
Obviously not everything if youre writing here.
Her man with you is really turning you on. Enough so that you feel gulity.
Not guilty enough to stop that freight train of i want your man.
You fed into the energy completely ignoring your friend and disrespecting her relationship.
Just tell youre friend so she can see who you both really are and she cant make the decision to 86 you both.click to expand
Posted by AriesIntrovert16Oooo i hit a nerve.Posted by DMVOh shut up. She hasn't even done anything with this guy, how has she disrespected their relationship? Because she has a crush on him? Big whoop. I don't see a problem, op, as long as you don't act on these feelings. Isolate yourself from him and you'll soon find someone else, I'm sure.Posted by JardsiPosted by DMVMy 'sexy' is non-existent. Believe me, I've done nothing but attempt to avoid him for the last few weeks.Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Turn your sexy all the way down.
Be a good friend
Obviously not everything if youre writing here.
Her man with you is really turning you on. Enough so that you feel gulity.
Not guilty enough to stop that freight train of i want your man.
You fed into the energy completely ignoring your friend and disrespecting her relationship.
Just tell youre friend so she can see who you both really are and she cant make the decision to 86 you both.click to expand
Posted by happyface1DittoPosted by AriesLove
Just stop acting! You know you want the man and it doesn't matter if it's your friends man. You'd probably sleep with him if he made the proposal to you.
I don't care how sexy he is, he's been sleeping with your friend. That's turn off #1.
If he's making any kind of advances or acting inappropriately towards you he's probably thinking "I can have them both." That's turn off #2
You met them both at the same time, if he wanted you he would've went after you and not her....right.
That's turn off #3
Stop fantasizing over this fool and find your own man. There's plenty!
HI........What she said ^^^^^click to expand
Posted by happyface1Second that. Some people ignore the hard facts right in front of them.Posted by AriesIntrovert16Posted by DMVOh shut up. She hasn't even done anything with this guy, how has she disrespected their relationship? Because she has a crush on him? Big whoop. I don't see a problem, op, as long as you don't act on these feelings. Isolate yourself from him and you'll soon find someone else, I'm sure.Posted by JardsiPosted by DMVMy 'sexy' is non-existent. Believe me, I've done nothing but attempt to avoid him for the last few weeks.Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Turn your sexy all the way down.
Be a good friend
Obviously not everything if youre writing here.
Her man with you is really turning you on. Enough so that you feel gulity.
Not guilty enough to stop that freight train of i want your man.
You fed into the energy completely ignoring your friend and disrespecting her relationship.
Just tell youre friend so she can see who you both really are and she cant make the decision to 86 you both.
Girl or boy bye.
the poster admitted that there was inappropriate touching going on while no one was looking that he would initiate and she accepted.
But guess what ???
Did she tell her "friend".......................................uh no she didn't.
Sad when you think about. The poster and the guy are both foul as fuck.
She's no friendclick to expand
Posted by Shadowcat
No. Generally I find all of my friends men to be unattractive because they immediately become an annoying brother lol.
Posted by happyface1"He pokes me when he walks by" "ahahsndnsnjxnduebdndu INAPPROPIATE TOUCHING!! You're a bad FRIenD!!!!"Posted by AriesIntrovert16Posted by DMVOh shut up. She hasn't even done anything with this guy, how has she disrespected their relationship? Because she has a crush on him? Big whoop. I don't see a problem, op, as long as you don't act on these feelings. Isolate yourself from him and you'll soon find someone else, I'm sure.Posted by JardsiPosted by DMVMy 'sexy' is non-existent. Believe me, I've done nothing but attempt to avoid him for the last few weeks.Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Turn your sexy all the way down.
Be a good friend
Obviously not everything if youre writing here.
Her man with you is really turning you on. Enough so that you feel gulity.
Not guilty enough to stop that freight train of i want your man.
You fed into the energy completely ignoring your friend and disrespecting her relationship.
Just tell youre friend so she can see who you both really are and she cant make the decision to 86 you both.
Girl or boy bye.
the poster admitted that there was inappropriate touching going on while no one was looking that he would initiate and she accepted.
But guess what ???
Did she tell her "friend".......................................uh no she didn't.
Sad when you think about. The poster and the guy are both foul as fuck.
She's no friendclick to expand
Posted by DMVNo, you didn't. You just made a bunch of wild and stupid assumptions. "Her man with you is really turning you on"?!?!? Like what, where did you get that from?Posted by AriesIntrovert16Oooo i hit a nerve.Posted by DMVOh shut up. She hasn't even done anything with this guy, how has she disrespected their relationship? Because she has a crush on him? Big whoop. I don't see a problem, op, as long as you don't act on these feelings. Isolate yourself from him and you'll soon find someone else, I'm sure.Posted by JardsiPosted by DMVMy 'sexy' is non-existent. Believe me, I've done nothing but attempt to avoid him for the last few weeks.Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Turn your sexy all the way down.
Be a good friend
Obviously not everything if youre writing here.
Her man with you is really turning you on. Enough so that you feel gulity.
Not guilty enough to stop that freight train of i want your man.
You fed into the energy completely ignoring your friend and disrespecting her relationship.
Just tell youre friend so she can see who you both really are and she cant make the decision to 86 you both.
Its more than a crush. She wouldnt be wasting her time writing.here if it was some fly by night joe.
But he ain't.click to expand
Posted by AriesIntrovert16Posted by happyface1"He pokes me when he walks by" "ahahsndnsnjxnduebdndu INAPPROPIATE TOUCHING!! You're a bad FRIenD!!!!"Posted by AriesIntrovert16Posted by DMVOh shut up. She hasn't even done anything with this guy, how has she disrespected their relationship? Because she has a crush on him? Big whoop. I don't see a problem, op, as long as you don't act on these feelings. Isolate yourself from him and you'll soon find someone else, I'm sure.Posted by JardsiPosted by DMVMy 'sexy' is non-existent. Believe me, I've done nothing but attempt to avoid him for the last few weeks.Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Turn your sexy all the way down.
Be a good friend
Obviously not everything if youre writing here.
Her man with you is really turning you on. Enough so that you feel gulity.
Not guilty enough to stop that freight train of i want your man.
You fed into the energy completely ignoring your friend and disrespecting her relationship.
Just tell youre friend so she can see who you both really are and she cant make the decision to 86 you both.
Girl or boy bye.
the poster admitted that there was inappropriate touching going on while no one was looking that he would initiate and she accepted.
But guess what ???
Did she tell her "friend".......................................uh no she didn't.
Sad when you think about. The poster and the guy are both foul as fuck.
She's no friend
Get a grip.click to expand
Posted by DMVI'm not cosigning on her behavior.. Behavior-wise, she hasn't done anything yet. She agreed that she should stay away from him, and I believe she will. You can't stop other people from liking someone you're with. As long as that bitch doesn't try to cross that line with him, I don't see a problem with my friend feeling giddy around my man.
Im actually surprised by your response AriesIntrovert16.
Tad disappointed you would cosign on such behavior.
What if your friend and your aqua.crush. were poking each other behind your back?
Youd smack the taste right out her mouth.
Posted by happyface1Good one. Maybe you should get a grip on your reasoning.Posted by AriesIntrovert16Posted by happyface1"He pokes me when he walks by" "ahahsndnsnjxnduebdndu INAPPROPIATE TOUCHING!! You're a bad FRIenD!!!!"Posted by AriesIntrovert16Posted by DMVOh shut up. She hasn't even done anything with this guy, how has she disrespected their relationship? Because she has a crush on him? Big whoop. I don't see a problem, op, as long as you don't act on these feelings. Isolate yourself from him and you'll soon find someone else, I'm sure.Posted by JardsiPosted by DMVMy 'sexy' is non-existent. Believe me, I've done nothing but attempt to avoid him for the last few weeks.Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Turn your sexy all the way down.
Be a good friend
Obviously not everything if youre writing here.
Her man with you is really turning you on. Enough so that you feel gulity.
Not guilty enough to stop that freight train of i want your man.
You fed into the energy completely ignoring your friend and disrespecting her relationship.
Just tell youre friend so she can see who you both really are and she cant make the decision to 86 you both.
Girl or boy bye.
the poster admitted that there was inappropriate touching going on while no one was looking that he would initiate and she accepted.
But guess what ???
Did she tell her "friend".......................................uh no she didn't.
Sad when you think about. The poster and the guy are both foul as fuck.
She's no friend
Get a grip.
Gonna need for you to get a grip on English. Kclick to expand
Posted by AriesIntrovert16Posted by happyface1Good one. Maybe you should get a grip on your reasoning.Posted by AriesIntrovert16Posted by happyface1"He pokes me when he walks by" "ahahsndnsnjxnduebdndu INAPPROPIATE TOUCHING!! You're a bad FRIenD!!!!"Posted by AriesIntrovert16Posted by DMVOh shut up. She hasn't even done anything with this guy, how has she disrespected their relationship? Because she has a crush on him? Big whoop. I don't see a problem, op, as long as you don't act on these feelings. Isolate yourself from him and you'll soon find someone else, I'm sure.Posted by JardsiPosted by DMVMy 'sexy' is non-existent. Believe me, I've done nothing but attempt to avoid him for the last few weeks.Posted by JardsiOk. This may sound harsh. But your doing something to attract him.
Also I feel like he acts inappropriately around me. It makes it uncomfortable for me.
I think all I can do is stay away from them. Ugh... They live together so it's difficult to see them separately.
Turn your sexy all the way down.
Be a good friend
Obviously not everything if youre writing here.
Her man with you is really turning you on. Enough so that you feel gulity.
Not guilty enough to stop that freight train of i want your man.
You fed into the energy completely ignoring your friend and disrespecting her relationship.
Just tell youre friend so she can see who you both really are and she cant make the decision to 86 you both.
Girl or boy bye.
the poster admitted that there was inappropriate touching going on while no one was looking that he would initiate and she accepted.
But guess what ???
Did she tell her "friend".......................................uh no she didn't.
Sad when you think about. The poster and the guy are both foul as fuck.
She's no friend
Get a grip.
Gonna need for you to get a grip on English. Kclick to expand
Posted by happyface1He senses, that she is in love with him and making amends..... he pities her, because the OP´s love is obvious to him and he feels guilty for neglecting her....... OP, just stay away from them..... He senses your love, believe mePosted by AriesLove
Just stop acting! You know you want the man and it doesn't matter if it's your friends man. You'd probably sleep with him if he made the proposal to you.
I don't care how sexy he is, he's been sleeping with your friend. That's turn off #1.
If he's making any kind of advances or acting inappropriately towards you he's probably thinking "I can have them both." That's turn off #2
You met them both at the same time, if he wanted you he would've went after you and not her....right.
That's turn off #3
Stop fantasizing over this fool and find your own man. There's plenty!
HI........What she said ^^^^^click to expand
Posted by happyface1the same with me, I can be very protective, I can be very harsh, if my bff´s boyfriend is flirting with me or tries to touch me.... he would be dead no way I would encounter in the "back and forth banter" what the OP mentions she has with him...... no way!!Posted by starwars
yuck no...im that friend who keep an eye on them to see if they're gonna hurt my friend or not ?
Protective mode...how my bffs are with me and I with them.click to expand
Posted by Pandora101Its just not the friend thing to do.
thinking about it, this back and forth banter and allowing him to touch you is something unforgivable to me, who needs enemies with friends like you, OP....... sorry to say, just stay away from them, if you can´t handle him or your emotions....
and remember: no banter, no touching, dont engage in this boys actions....... and another thing: if he is doing this to her, he will do it to you, if you were together.......
Posted by AriesLovedid you just sign yourself off as a lonely heffa?wow.Posted by Jardsi
Well, thanks for your replies.
Yes I feel guilty for having these feelings, and I'm in the process of trying to forget them. I never planned for this to happen, and it's never happened before.
I think he sees me as a potential good friend and so he's trying to be pally with me, but for me, my feelings went in a different direction.
Just to clear things up the whole 'touching' thing sounds a little bit wrong, it's more a kinda of, sisterly brotherly thing, he does things like poking me in the side and slapping me round the face quite a lot (playfully), or ruffling my hair.. but for me it's inappropriate because obviously I have these feelings for him, and it happens often. Although, he never does it openly when she is around, which is worrying.
I haven't seen them in a while now because I've been avoiding them, he did write to me the other day asking where I was and I ignored it.
I'm not trying to be a dick, unfortunately I'm clearly not as in control of my feelings as you all seem to be.
-shrugs-
You need to tell him to chill. You aren't interested and you respect your friend. Period
But I doubt that you will because you are FAKE like most females that's why I don't keep them around.
Lonely heffaclick to expand
Posted by febyThe only time it's been tricky is if he gets taken after initial feelings develop. It's a bit harder to reverse out of it, but I eventually get there.Posted by rockyroadicecreamReally like this! I admire strong will and boundaries, very respectable
Work on your willpower?
It's strange to me that people allow their emotions to go there. When I find out someone is taken, they get filed into the "no way in hell" category and feelings won't develop. It's just not an option in my mind and it's never been an issue.
I'd suggest trying to mentally get yourself out of this rut, as strange as it sounds.click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveAren't you just the insecure little twatwaffle? I'm sorry your culture harbors such trashy behavior and has clearly damaged your psyche, but not every female is like that honey bunch. Get over yourself. "Insecure and psycho bitch" trumps "fake" any day.Posted by Jardsi
Well, thanks for your replies.
Yes I feel guilty for having these feelings, and I'm in the process of trying to forget them. I never planned for this to happen, and it's never happened before.
I think he sees me as a potential good friend and so he's trying to be pally with me, but for me, my feelings went in a different direction.
Just to clear things up the whole 'touching' thing sounds a little bit wrong, it's more a kinda of, sisterly brotherly thing, he does things like poking me in the side and slapping me round the face quite a lot (playfully), or ruffling my hair.. but for me it's inappropriate because obviously I have these feelings for him, and it happens often. Although, he never does it openly when she is around, which is worrying.
I haven't seen them in a while now because I've been avoiding them, he did write to me the other day asking where I was and I ignored it.
I'm not trying to be a dick, unfortunately I'm clearly not as in control of my feelings as you all seem to be.
-shrugs-
You need to tell him to chill. You aren't interested and you respect your friend. Period
But I doubt that you will because you are FAKE like most females that's why I don't keep them around.
Lonely heffaclick to expand
Posted by AriesLoveYou just described yourself, you dumb child.Posted by rockyroadicecreamDamn well you just proved me different...NOT!Posted by AriesLoveAren't you just the insecure little twatwaffle? I'm sorry your culture harbors such trashy behavior and has clearly damaged your psyche, but not every female is like that honey bunch. Get over yourself. "Insecure and psycho bitch" trumps "fake" any day.Posted by Jardsi
Well, thanks for your replies.
Yes I feel guilty for having these feelings, and I'm in the process of trying to forget them. I never planned for this to happen, and it's never happened before.
I think he sees me as a potential good friend and so he's trying to be pally with me, but for me, my feelings went in a different direction.
Just to clear things up the whole 'touching' thing sounds a little bit wrong, it's more a kinda of, sisterly brotherly thing, he does things like poking me in the side and slapping me round the face quite a lot (playfully), or ruffling my hair.. but for me it's inappropriate because obviously I have these feelings for him, and it happens often. Although, he never does it openly when she is around, which is worrying.
I haven't seen them in a while now because I've been avoiding them, he did write to me the other day asking where I was and I ignored it.
I'm not trying to be a dick, unfortunately I'm clearly not as in control of my feelings as you all seem to be.
-shrugs-
You need to tell him to chill. You aren't interested and you respect your friend. Period
But I doubt that you will because you are FAKE like most females that's why I don't keep them around.
Lonely heffa
Fake means jealous, petty, selfish, unworthy, gossipy, sneaky, spiteful, tricking, naive bishes like this one.
So put all trust in another human being and have a hoard of unhealthy insecure "lonely heffas" like this one that you obviously need to survive in your culture and I'll keep drama free without having to go psycho on an insecure Bish.
I'll never get over myself but nice try.click to expand