Help from a Cancer

This topic was created in the Aries forum by kitten on Monday, March 20, 2006 and has 7 replies.
Hey, I have read all the research of how my new beau and I are doomed because I am an emotional basket case home-body that won't be able to hang with his macho testosterone-charged sex-driven ego and that we just have this initial energy that will end up with him becoming bored and me nagging him to death until he hides from me. Help!!! I have dated the wrong men for so long and certainly been married to the wrong one. I have characterized what I 'need' in a mate, and the Aries male is perfect. I want someone to protect me, let me be the subordinate, I will always take care of him, shower him with compliments and attention, and the sexual energy will always be powerful. I cannot get enough! There is no way he can outdo me there! I will keep him shocked from now on. He will always be in control and allowed to be the boss, but I will not just lay down and let him have it easy. He will always have an intelligent, sassy, hot chick to disturb his thoughts and call him daddy, and of course, let him have his way on everything. He will always have his laundry done, a clean house, dinner made, and there is never a dull moment with me, I love adventure just as much as anyone! I am an educated woman as well, and I have my own career. There is just one problem. He is trapped in a dull marriage that has been soaked with infidelity on both sides. They no longer get along and are just staying for the kids. He and I spend play time together, and he is honest and upfront about the fact that he cannot have a meaningful full relationship with me, but he wants us to be friends with benefits. I know that's the best a macho Aries can say, but I know what he wants. I have seen the way he looks at me and felt his tender kiss. He has become so bored with is life with is wife that he has forgotten what it was like to have fun and to be adored. He is like a puppy that has been let out of a box. He is, in every way, that leader, best friend, father figure, hero, warrior, strange but sexy guy that I have always dreamed of. My request for help is this.... Are we really doomed? Or could this work? What do I do to get him to get out of his marriage? How do I keep his attention? What can I do to keep him from becoming bored with me. What mistakes would a Cancerian make that would send him running?
THANKS GUYS!!!
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You can't get him out of his marriage. That has to be his choice,,and apparently that's not what he wants right now...no matter what cocka mamey story he is telling you....I mean, be for real.
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I mean really. Please read over your post..and then tell me how you think it sounds.
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Kitten, Softy does have a point ....right now since he is married, you are simply a distraction for him and his problems. You are letting him know that you are okay with being second in his life - is this what YOU want in a relationship? If he is cheating on his wife with you, then what is to say that he will not do this to you?
I say, find an Aries man who is totally available to you in all ways...you are settling Missy and you deserve so much more.
My best to you -
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And why be willing to extend yourself like that for someone else's husband? I agrre with taking care of YOUR man...but another woman's. No matter what the situation is.
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No matter what sign, I think that once he's married a man will rarely want out. He's got a wife, a FAMILY with her. Things get dull, maybe, they settle, yes, but that is still his WIFE. It really sucks that you have feelings for him but I'm sorry to say that you are probably a distraction to him. Plus, I mean think about it... he is asking you to be FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, he's already been unfaithful to her in the past... why would you differ from all the other women, they've all done the same thing for him.
It's terrible. How would you feel if your husband of many years, for better or worse did this to you just because things got a little boring? After everything you've been through. I just find it very difficult to think that he'll ever leave her... like I said, for better or for worse they are PARTNERS. And oh boy does it suck to have a husband like that but that's not your problem. Your problem is that you're gonna hurt yourself.

I'm disgusted in reading that! And not because of what you two are doing, I'm disgusted that women let men do this and play with them. He's cheating on his wife and you're letting him label you 'mistress' WTF! It pisses me off!
You know why he's so awesome? I'll tell you why, because you aren't married to him, because things with the mistress are always awesome because if they weren't then he'd find someone more suitable for the title... you think you really deserve that?
The more time you spend with him the more you degrade yourself... bye bye dignity and self respect... down the toilet they go...
Men like the one you're dealing with have no respect for women, they're always too good to be true... no really, TO BE TRUE. Open your eyes. Put yourself in his shoes, if you had it that good would you really care if you hurt her feelings... sure maybe a little guilt but nothing compared to the pain YOU'LL go through. A tender kiss, a look... fantasy land, an emotion of the MOMENT.
You say that he's everything you were looking for... really? A cheater? someone who can only offer you a 'friends with benefits' and probably a good liar too because cheaters are always 'the victims'... with their stories of 'yeah I'm married but things aren't well' 'i'll leave her soon'...
I am so very sorry that you fell for a guy like that, so very sorry that you developed feelings for him and I know that to realize something like that has to be incredibly painful - that is, if you understood any of what we're trying to tell you because love blinds you... on some level by choice. Don't do that to yourself. You sound like an awesome woman who makes a wonderful partner but you DESERVE commitment in return and not to be anyones entertainment.
The post wasn't about whether he's an aries and you a cancer... forget astrology in all this and look at the reality.
In the end if its meant to be then nothing and nobody will stop him from being yours anyway. A man won't divorce his wife for another woman but only because he has decided that is what he wants for himself. If you mean something to him let him prove it but my advice would be to leave him. When and if he divorces he'll get back to you.
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And of course he isn't going to tell you that his marriage is Great!!,,,,then you wouldn't have an excuse to mess around with him....or console so to speak.
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