HELP needed with aries man

Ive been seeing an aries man now for 6 months, it was all going great, we went away in January and then on the last day i caught him sneaking off and calling another woman..this led to a huge argument between us! He confessed to me that he's been seeing this other girl on off and he didnt wanna be with her but he found out she is 6 months+ pregnant to my shock!

he told me he had just found out recently and doesnt know what to do...do i believe him or are all aries men liars!! I've told him to f off when we got back and we didnt speak for a month but then he came crawling back saying he doesnt love her or wants to marry her and wants to be with me and doesnt want this girl to have his child?! He ideally wanted her to abort but its too late now as she's 'screwing up her and his life' and he cant imagine his life in a few months as he's not ready for a child himself! (yes how selfish is that!) I saw him again as obviously i feel for him and the last time about a month ago he told me he loves me for the first time and wants to marry me to my surprise. He's a few years younger so i thouhgt he's confused as struggling with his situation so didnt say anything but told him to deal with her and their situation.

I've been angry as i've also been getting calls from this girl cos i butted into the conversation on holiday and she got my number from his fone and i've told her that i've been his girlfriend and she gave my number out&keep getting pranks!

"He ideally wanted her to abort but its too late now as she's 'screwing up her and his life' and he cant imagine his life in a few months as he's not ready for a child himself! (yes how selfish is that!)"


Before I comment on the issue of this other woman .. I would like to say that I wouldn't necessarily think that him saying that he's not ready to be a father as being selfish .. in fact, quite the opposite. The quality of the child's life is very important and if he feels that this will screw things up .. then it might indeed screw up the child's mental well-being .. this sounds like a mature thing to me. But, that's just me .. everybody is different.

Additionally, do you know the circumstances in which she got pregnant? Sometimes, as you know, women do this intentionally, attempting to trap men .. is it possible that she tricked him, and didn't allow him a decision in the matter?

I'm still digesting all you said ..

"i've told her that i've been his girlfriend and she gave my number out&keep getting pranks!"

Wow, that is pretty immature. How old is everyone involved? What's her sign, as well, do you know?

Hi all of you and thank you for getting back to me so soon and i'm new on this and still trying to get to grips with it all!!!

Hi Arianlatay, we as a couple havent really had other problems as such..it's more this girl causing lots of problems between us. She's given my number out to all sorts of guys and i'm disgusted to say this but recentlyi've been getting calls from porn sites!! He told me that he told this girl that there was no future and that she has trapped him..also she had tryed to committ suicide by attempting to slit her wrists, walking on broken glass etc etc and she has verbally abused me over the phone and told me she loves him and will never leave him no matter what he says/does!!

Hi p-angel, I meant that it's happened now and he needs to face up to it as she refused to have the abortion when he first found out as he told her that he was not ready to be a father or support a child,according to her its twins and he felt guilty telling her to have an abortion as she said it's her body and she will bring them up and he doesnt have to have anything to do with them.

The thing after i started getting all these recent prank calls i decided to confront her and tell her to stop but this escalated into an argument and he supported her!

Sortof both arianlatay. the thing is i found out that she had been with him since a year ago and she got pregnant early october but according to him he never wanted a future with her and i only found all this out recently...and now he;s telling me he thinks he should marry her cos of the kids?! but two weeks ago he wanted to 'marryme and loved me'...

By the way i'm a virgo, moon in gemini, he's aries and she's aquarian.

Hi toni,

Welli'm still shocked that he took her side you see and he told me to change my number once she got it!! No way!

He saying he will only marry her when he sees those children as he doesnt trust her?! And he cant support them cos he doesnt have a stable job....

We me&this girl did talk after we got back from holiday and she said he's been living there..he tells me that he lives there cos he has no where else to go as he has no family here and he met her on a matrimonial site a year ago and we met on the same site 6 months ago. He's telling me that she's nothing but his actions are showing she is something and the future mother of his children...so i dont understand what he was doing on that website if they're relationship was so good and solid and on top of that he knew she was already pregnant, kept it a secret from me and took me on holiday to meet his family and wants me (wanted me as we're not together as of yesterday)to meet his parents in an unofficial way...i am so confused...

The thing is he thinks he should marry her cos she's muslim and her family will k*ll her if they find out she's pregnant so according to him he;s feeling guilty that there will be children out there with no name...He's 26 and i had it out with him yesterday thats when confirmed that i made his life hell by telling this girl that we had still been together as he'd told her that he hadnt seen me since february and she's making his life hell,trying to kill herself etc so he is going to stay with her and get married now and has been verbally abusive towards me cos he said he didnt want her knowing about me and wanted to carry on with me! He just messed my head up by telling that he loved me and wanted to marry me....what a to*ser!!

Seriously, I would want to defend him and say that she's the manipulator here, but, then there's the facts that must be considered .. you're a Virgo, so I know you can handle point-blank directness .. so, here goes ..

If she got preggers in Oct .. that IS the whole time you've been with him = 6 months.
He admits that he's been seeing her on and off
He takes her side when confronted
He says he wants to marry you .. then her

You say you have feelings for him .. are you in love with him?
I truly believe that if a relationship starts out with lies and deception and it's allowed, tolerated .. then that sets the premise for the whole union.

Sorry to take the negative side here .. but, the facts are what they are.
On the other hand .. he could just be really confused and doesn't know what to do.

"has been verbally abusive towards me"

One side of me says he's just young and confused.

The other side says, kick him to the curb.

Sorry you have these issues .. but, I knew a lot of Aries men who wouldn't behave as you're describing .. so, I think it's just HIM.

The only other problems we've had are that he gets very jealous and possesive over me and constantly wants/wanted to know my whereabouts etc and that he wasnt honest about himself as in he told me he was 28 and that he lived with his parents when i first met him other than that we've got on so well...

Hi p-angel, even i'm not defending him just grateful that the whole truth came out as i was considering him long term after he confessed his 'love'..and i've just found all this out recently since i got back from holiday with him from her so am not happy with all the lies i've been told as i feel used now so gave the ultimatum yesterday and got my answer loud and clear so will be getting on with it as i don't want to be second best for no man and i can't change anything that has happened just grateful to God for allowing me to see this mess before it got too late

Yes i've had long term relationships before, they started off good but both of them ended at 3 years so i know that this was most definately not a good one as from all the info this girl has told me it seems like he is a compulsive liar and player but also young and very confused as he got divorced just over a year ago too which he also admitted to and his family want him to get back together with his wife...i'm still getting over this as i just found this out from this girl too so its all so confusing but good that it has ended with me and him cos i really couldnt take much more on or being the second rebound!