I can’t Understand this Aries Man

This topic was created in the Aries Men forum by diamondgemini on Sunday, October 22, 2017 and has 17 replies.
First of all, I am a gemini woman and I’d like to apologize in advance for the long message I am going to write. I tried to shorten my message as much as possible, so if you want to read the full detailed essay please go to the next message.

Anyway thanks for reading smile


I have been in this on and off thing with this aries guy for over 2 years now and so many things happened that left me confused. I have ever wondered if he really liked me or just played it and took advantage of my stupid naivety. I still have a huge crush on him I like him a lot and I am having a hard time getting over him. I’d like to mention that now he is in an long distance open relationship with someone else and I’m not trying to get in between them or anything else. Besides, it’s an open relationship. I’d just like to see if I can be friends with him and understand his behavior so I can move past it because I don’t think there’s a serious chance left for him and I. Also, I’m having a hard time getting over him, even if I am a gemini I don’t play around or like multiple guys, when I fell I fell hard and it’s even harder to get over it afterwards.


Our story is pretty long. I met him 3 years ago on Tinder, he begged to meet for a month and then when we met we had a connection, everything was so good and intense than we almost had sex. I also lied to him that day. I kinda pushed for a relationship with him and one week after I broke up with him, then finally I told him about the lie I apologized and we had sex. Then he never texted me back again and he moved away for a year. When he came back we matched each other on tinder and were fuck friends for several months.


Anyway, I went to study abroad and after 4 months of zero communication I texted him by mistake. He kept the conversation going, added me on snapchat, started snapping me several times a day and we sometimes spoke. Before I came back he asked me to get him something, which I did, and he didn’t bother to pay me back. At first said he had some money problems which I understood ( long issue with his dad ), then he suggested going down on me and then never texted me back to my messages regarding the payment. During summer, I told him through text that I had a crush on him. He though that I was kidding and making fun and ignored that. Then I got mad and a few days later I sent him a short message telling him how he hurt my feelings, I sort of offended him and told him I’ll get over him. ( basically I went mental on him and he admitted he was mad at me because of that; ofc I apologized ). One time I asked him for a sexual adventure, first he was interested, then suggested a 3some, then rejected me. He told me about his girlfriend. Then we were supposed to share a flat with someone else, we even meet and did an excellent job together in finding a flatmate, but we did not move in the end because he had money issues. Then he suggested to have sex several times, even though he had a girlfriend and she was there (she spent all summer here ) And now I was supposed to get him some pills, but it didn’t happen so we’re not talking anymore. However, he still watches my stories on social media.


But the thing is, I don’t understand his behavior. I don’t understand why is he coming back to me after 3 years, it’s the sex that good? He is extremely handsome, he was a model and can get any chick he wants. Like I know he’s been talking with this chick for months, but why didn’t he tell me he is with someone else when I told him about my crush on him? Besides, he had no reaction when I told him I liked him. He could have just said ok I don’t like you back. I know Aries are brutally honest and straightforward all the time. I just don’t understand him and he is confusing. He was super excited to move in and then suddenly he decided not to move because the money wasn’t enough, so I am wondering if it was because of his gf. When she was here last weekend he blocked my number. I’d like to ask him about all this and get an explanation instead of asking here for advice, but every time I bring up something from the past he says he doesn’t remember it, like the first time we sleept together for example. So I can’t ask him to sit and discuss things. I don’t get if I hurt him in any kind of way, he was pretty excited about me when we first met, kinda clingy too.


Like I know we both did wrong to each other and been mean to each other. Maybe he never took me serious again because of the geminis inconsistent behavior? And the fact that I lied to him? I don’t know if there is a way I can gain his respect again, because I know we would make great friends, we have a lot of things in common. I am actually being extremely dumb considering being fuck friends again, since he is in an OPEN relationship and this is our last year together in the same country, but I am not sure because I am tired of his bad behavior towards me.


Anyway, thank you for taking time to read this long message, I am aware that when I start typing well nothing can stop me 🙈
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First of all, I am a gemini woman and I’d like to apologize in advance for the long message I am going to write. Thank you for taking the patience to read this though.


I have been in this on and off thing with this aries guy for over 2 years now and so many things happened that left me confused. I still have a huge crush on him I like him a lot and I am having a hard time getting over him. I’d like to say from the beginning that this guy now is in a long term open relationship with another chick and he says she’s his best friend and the first chick he fell in love with. I’d like to clarify that I’m not here trying to get him back or get in between them. I’d just like to see if I can be friends with him and understand his behavior so I can move past it. I tried talking to him about it but it’s impossible.


To make it short: we met 2 and a half years ago, he begged me for a month to hang out with him and when we finally did the connection was so intense that we almost had sex. I lied to him and I pushed for a relationship. We gave it a try, but I broke up with him after a week. Then I told him about the lie and apologized for my behavior, we had sex, he never spoke to me again and left the country. I know that my behavior was immature and I shouldn’t have done that but he was my first guy interaction so I was kinda dumb and with no experience.


To continue, a year after he came back, we matched on tinder and we started talking. We ended up having sex again and we sort of became fuck buddies. But he was never the same as the first time I met him, he wasn’t as passionate, he barely made out and everything, but still he was interested. Then I went to study in another country and 4 months after I texted him by mistake and he continued talking to me. He even added me on snapchat, sent me snaps with him, his activities, his family, songs. I tried not to text him too much because I didn’t want to seem like I was still interested in him and let him play me again. He even said he misses the fun we had. When I came back I met with him to bring him something he asked me to, he even hugged me. Anyway he didn’t pay me back and when I asked him about the money he ignored all my messages. So I stopped texting him for a month and then casually one day I sent him a photo with a text which he obviously took the wrong way.


Then one day I decided to tell him I had a crush on him and see if he likes me or not. Simple as that. He told me he’s confused and asked me if I’m in my right mindset. And then he waited a few minutes and shot me another text referring to the photo I sent earlier which I complete forgotten about. I tried to explain to him that I referred to the other part of the text but he just said Ok. And then later I posted a photo and he texted saying he doesn’t understand me. When I asked him why he ignored my message. Then I got mad and a few days later I sent him a short message telling him how he hurt my feelings, I sort of offended him and told him I’ll get over him. Then few months later I texted him sort of asking him if he wanted to go on an adventure, have sex again and so on. At first he said yes, but then he said he doesn’t. He also admitted to be mad at me because I went mental on him and I sincerely apologized. Then he said he would only be in for a 3some so I rejected it.


Then a week after he texted me asking if I can get him so pills through my friends. I tried to help him. Then we kept talking and decided to share an apartment since we both needed to move. We decided to meet but then he didn’t show up or texted me all day because his dad had a heart attack and he forgot his phone home. He apologized, we met again and we even found a roomate. He went through my phone also. And then he told me he had a gf. Just like that. I kept calm and collected because I didn’t want to make a scene. I just wanted to look that I’m over him and so on. And then when we met with our roomate he started saying how this chick is his best friend, how he fell in love for the first time and how they’re in a long distance open relationship. But something seemed off like he wasn’t so excited about it and he was kinda ackward. And that’s weird for an aries, and they’re even official on facebook.


So I feel that that day we clicked again, we had the connection again, we worked together great. Everyone we met that day thought we were in a relationship. And I was always the first to say “no we’re not”.


But the thing is, I don’t understand his behavior. Like I know he’s been talking with this chick for months, but why didn’t he tell me he like someone else when I told him about my crush on him? Besides, he had no reaction when I told him I liked him. He could have just said ok I don’t like you back. I know Aries are brutally honest and straightforward all the time. I just don’t understand him and he is confusing. He was super excited to move in and then suddenly he decided not to move because the money wasn’t enough, so I am wondering if it was because of his gf. When she was here last weekend he blocked my number. Also, he asked me several times to have sex with him, sometimes I said yes or no, but it never happened.


So I don’t understand why he keeps coming back to me. It’s obvious he doesn’t like me and I made it clear that I am not interested in him. Every time I bring up something from the past he says he doesn’t remember it, like the first time we sleept together for example. So I can’t ask him to sit and discuss things so I can understand all this and get over him. Besides Aries hate talking about the past. Also, I could be his sex friend but I am not that type of person to sleep with someone else’s boyfriend even if it’s an open relationship. I am not closed minded or anything, I don’t judge them but I don’t wanna be the second plate of anyone. Of course I’d like to be in his gf place because he is amazing, but in this situation I could use him as a friend. I’m moving to his town for work and I don’t really have many friends to hangout with there. We get well together, we still talk because he still wants and needs some pills, but we still talk. Even if it’s small talk. I don’t know how to make conversation with him now that he has a gf and he doesn’t seem to cooperate much. Anyway from what I noticed Aries are not big texters, they do better face to face.


Anyway I am sorry for the extremely long message but it’s a long story. If someone could explain me his behavior or give me some advice I would be extremely greatful. Thank you.

Also, I read a lot of information about Aries as a sign (kinda late though) and I am not a clingy person.
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Fuckboy. Plain and simple. And you are offering him everything on a plate. He is stringing you along, and you are happy to be strung along. Either for "pills" or potential sex when he needs it. Either way it is an awful thing for your morale. Have a little higher standards for yourself dear.
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Thank you for your message.

I totally agree with what you are saying and I am highly aware of the fact that I’m the biggest dumb in this situation. I used to have higher standards until I met him and I’m extremely smotten by him. Anyway, I haven’t slept with him in more than a year and still I’m having a hard time geting over him. He’s extremely handome and tall and besides all the crap he’s fun and kinda nice sometiemes. But he’s a dick too. Anyway thanks
Posted by LibraLovesHim
Fuckboy. Plain and simple. And you are offering him everything on a plate. He is stringing you along, and you are happy to be strung along. Either for "pills" or potential sex when he needs it. Either way it is an awful thing for your morale. Have a little higher standards for yourself dear.
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Yes I think that he’s cheating on her I mean he said they both sleep with other people and that they’re honest with each other but I know Aries man in general are really sexual but they would never cheat or share the person they love. Anyway, I didn’t admit or disagreed that I have feelings for him because I’m not quite sure about what I am feeling. I’ve never been in love before and well if I feel love for him then it sucks for me. Besides his behavior he can be funny and has a nice personality and we have a lot in common.

I however do agree with you in everythig you’re saying and sometimes I feel like he’s using me like I used him before. But anyway, he still wanted to sleep with me and texted me while his gf was here ( she was here during spring and summer ) And he also sleeps with other chicks too. He is like a major D.

Thank you for your advice

Posted by bittercupcake
Hmm sounds like he’s cheating on the official gf. What I find baffling is your reluctance to admit more of your emotional involvement with this guy. Possibly trying to feed off the scraps he leaves behind and feeding your own hopes. Case in point: him not responding to your affections, telling you he has a girlfriend, and being in an open relationship. That all sounds like a pass time. He is probably very much in love with his gf but due to circumstances can’t be all in, so he’s using you for what he can get out of it.


And in case that you are wondering what those things are...they are the following:

- attention

- sex

- proximity


My guess is if his girlfriend was closer, he’d dump you in a second. That open relationship thing sounds like bs, otherwise why would he block your number? I’d say cut ties with him, because sooner or later he will.
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Hey thank you for your advice. Yes aries man tend to be really selfish and I can be selfish myself but they go over board. How did you manage to get over him then? I have been having such a hard time, I even stopped talking to him for months but I still liked him. He is extremely handsome and charming and can be the nicest and funniest person sometimes. And we have a lot of things in common so... Anyway, really, how did you do it?
Posted by GeminiGirl052388
Gem girl, take this from another gem who's been in a situation with an aries not so long ago (and bittercupcake knows about this and many others) dont waste your time. Aries men... arent for us. They are intense but inconsistent. It will be about them and them only. Run for the hills. This is not good for you. I swore I would never get involved with an aries man after what happened.
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Posted by GeminiGirl052388
Posted by diamondgemini
Hey thank you for your advice. Yes aries man tend to be really selfish and I can be selfish myself but they go over board. How did you manage to get over him then? I have been having such a hard time, I even stopped talking to him for months but I still liked him. He is extremely handsome and charming and can be the nicest and funniest person sometimes. And we have a lot of things in common so... Anyway, really, how did you do it?
Posted by GeminiGirl052388
Gem girl, take this from another gem who's been in a situation with an aries not so long ago (and bittercupcake knows about this and many others) dont waste your time. Aries men... arent for us. They are intense but inconsistent. It will be about them and them only. Run for the hills. This is not good for you. I swore I would never get involved with an aries man after what happened.

Well, the aries man forgot that I am a gemini and I can turn my feelings on and off when I want to. The moment he started disappearing on me, I started entertaining other men more and went on a date with a Sagthe following week. Actually, I want to share an update as well. Last night, I sent him a text which I got from watching Matthew Hussey's video. I said to him that I had fun with him but I need my space because I dont want to be with a person who is confused. He responded and said that he thought it was early for me to worry about lack of communication when he was working. I was like WTF. He went cold and MIA for a week. Was he expecting that I just wait for him? I told him its good to know how he felt and it was good for me to let him know how I felt too. He said he is a little too independent for me. I said he's not independent. He's inconsistent. Removed him from all my social media. And that was it. Girl, if a man doesnt treat you right, its time to move on. And move on fast. Dont waste your time.


"After he left, I cried for a week. And then I realized I do have faith. Faith in myself. Faith that I would one day meet someone... who would be sure that I was the one." - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex in the City
click to expand
Just an fyi for those wanting to date Aries. They may well not be consistent from the get go. They are not as "easy" as other men. When they have decided that someone/thing is worth their time they are all in focused on it-its up to you to convince him that that is you. They are about as psychic as the other 11signs when it comes to women Winking
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Posted by diamondgemini
First of all, I am a gemini woman and I’d like to apologize in advance for the long message I am going to write. Thank you for taking the patience to read this though.


I have been in this on and off thing with this aries guy for over 2 years now and so many things happened that left me confused. I still have a huge crush on him I like him a lot and I am having a hard time getting over him.


You I think, is the first person ever in Dxp history to apologize for a long post,then actually post. You deserve your own appreciation thread. And probably saved someone from having a seizure as they scrolled, and scrolled, and scrolled





And scrolled, with no warning.



Ima come back later and read it though,lol
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Diamond, some time ago there was a similar story, the Aries had a girlfriend, who was away a lot because she was a marine (?) or something, and the OP had a long history with the Aries with sleeping/not sleeping with him, crushing on him for like 5 years and she hasnt slept with him for a year as well...... the Aries in that story was planning to buy a house with the girlfriend


any chance it was your story?


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The Aries man looks for a woman that owns their respect. If at any point they loose respect for you the relationship is dumb.
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or not, Aries men tend to be quite inconsistent too. They complain about us, gems, being inconsistent, undecided and moody, but their exactly the same. Probably you texted him at the wrong time and he was mad, or annoyed or actually busy at work. Most likely that was his way of saying “I’m not interested anymore”. Most of the time they’re pretty straightforward like if they’re busy you know it. And he went MIA because he was sure you were going to come back to him. Anyway in this situations I like to say well “your loss aries man”. Besides he’s not the only man on the Planet. It’s great that you managed to get over him pretty quickly. Unfortunately I’m that gemini who falls really hard haha. Thank you
Posted by GeminiGirl052388
Posted by diamondgemini
Hey thank you for your advice. Yes aries man tend to be really selfish and I can be selfish myself but they go over board. How did you manage to get over him then? I have been having such a hard time, I even stopped talking to him for months but I still liked him. He is extremely handsome and charming and can be the nicest and funniest person sometimes. And we have a lot of things in common so... Anyway, really, how did you do it?
Posted by GeminiGirl052388
Gem girl, take this from another gem who's been in a situation with an aries not so long ago (and bittercupcake knows about this and many others) dont waste your time. Aries men... arent for us. They are intense but inconsistent. It will be about them and them only. Run for the hills. This is not good for you. I swore I would never get involved with an aries man after what happened.

Well, the aries man forgot that I am a gemini and I can turn my feelings on and off when I want to. The moment he started disappearing on me, I started entertaining other men more and went on a date with a Sagthe following week. Actually, I want to share an update as well. Last night, I sent him a text which I got from watching Matthew Hussey's video. I said to him that I had fun with him but I need my space because I dont want to be with a person who is confused. He responded and said that he thought it was early for me to worry about lack of communication when he was working. I was like WTF. He went cold and MIA for a week. Was he expecting that I just wait for him? I told him its good to know how he felt and it was good for me to let him know how I felt too. He said he is a little too independent for me. I said he's not independent. He's inconsistent. Removed him from all my social media. And that was it. Girl, if a man doesnt treat you right, its time to move on. And move on fast. Dont waste your time.


"After he left, I cried for a week. And then I realized I do have faith. Faith in myself. Faith that I would one day meet someone... who would be sure that I was the one." - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex in the City
click to expand


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n’t agree more with what you said! They are quite inconsisent and moody too, and when they really want someone they go after her. When I first met this guy he was extremely clingy and annoying and always texting me and wanted to hangout but I had to lie to him and ruin it! Anyway thank you for the tip
Posted by LibraLovesHim
Posted by GeminiGirl052388
Posted by diamondgemini
Hey thank you for your advice. Yes aries man tend to be really selfish and I can be selfish myself but they go over board. How did you manage to get over him then? I have been having such a hard time, I even stopped talking to him for months but I still liked him. He is extremely handsome and charming and can be the nicest and funniest person sometimes. And we have a lot of things in common so... Anyway, really, how did you do it?
Posted by GeminiGirl052388
Gem girl, take this from another gem who's been in a situation with an aries not so long ago (and bittercupcake knows about this and many others) dont waste your time. Aries men... arent for us. They are intense but inconsistent. It will be about them and them only. Run for the hills. This is not good for you. I swore I would never get involved with an aries man after what happened.

Well, the aries man forgot that I am a gemini and I can turn my feelings on and off when I want to. The moment he started disappearing on me, I started entertaining other men more and went on a date with a Sagthe following week. Actually, I want to share an update as well. Last night, I sent him a text which I got from watching Matthew Hussey's video. I said to him that I had fun with him but I need my space because I dont want to be with a person who is confused. He responded and said that he thought it was early for me to worry about lack of communication when he was working. I was like WTF. He went cold and MIA for a week. Was he expecting that I just wait for him? I told him its good to know how he felt and it was good for me to let him know how I felt too. He said he is a little too independent for me. I said he's not independent. He's inconsistent. Removed him from all my social media. And that was it. Girl, if a man doesnt treat you right, its time to move on. And move on fast. Dont waste your time.


"After he left, I cried for a week. And then I realized I do have faith. Faith in myself. Faith that I would one day meet someone... who would be sure that I was the one." - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex in the City
Just an fyi for those wanting to date Aries. They may well not be consistent from the get go. They are not as "easy" as other men. When they have decided that someone/thing is worth their time they are all in focused on it-its up to you to convince him that that is you. They are about as psychic as the other 11signs when it comes to women Winking
click to expand
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ed it was better to let people know in advance since I know I text and write quite a lot. And in this case maybe one detail can make the difference. Anyway, thank you for the appreciation smile
Posted by Therealjane10
Posted by diamondgemini
First of all, I am a gemini woman and I’d like to apologize in advance for the long message I am going to write. Thank you for taking the patience to read this though.


I have been in this on and off thing with this aries guy for over 2 years now and so many things happened that left me confused. I still have a huge crush on him I like him a lot and I am having a hard time getting over him.


You I think, is the first person ever in Dxp history to apologize for a long post,then actually post. You deserve your own appreciation thread. And probably saved someone from having a seizure as they scrolled, and scrolled, and scrolled





And scrolled, with no warning.



Ima come back later and read it though,lol
click to expand
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Thank you for your advice, I was actually considering shortening it since it is extremely long and boring haha

Yes I did lie to him and I know they hate liars and who doesn’t but it was a complicated situation and he was just a stranger at that time. It was the first they we met so I thought it wasn’t appropriate.

I agree to that, you have to say no to them but then they can become pushy and ask for it all over again. Anyway I’m not helping him with the pills anymore, the deal is off.

Thank you for your opinion smile
Posted by sakuraflowers
@diamondgemini


- Try to shorten your story. I don't think many Aries has the patience to read through an essay-length post.

- You aren't really straightforward in this story, and started off this with lying to him. Aries don't do well with lies.

- Sometimes you have to be able to say no to a Ram, and you will get more respect that way from them. If an Aries needs a favour and thinks you won't say no, you will likely keep getting asked. He hasn't paid you back for something you got him previously and then by the looks of it (probably to him as well), you are considering helping him again. So he probably thinks he can get away with not paying you for whatever things he ask you to "help him" buy.


IMO smile
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No, that is not my story, this was the first time I posted on here because I’ve been reading and saw how the advice helps people. However, I’d like to read that story, maybe I can identify with that girl’s history.
Posted by Pandora101

Diamond, some time ago there was a similar story, the Aries had a girlfriend, who was away a lot because she was a marine (?) or something, and the OP had a long history with the Aries with sleeping/not sleeping with him, crushing on him for like 5 years and she hasnt slept with him for a year as well...... the Aries in that story was planning to buy a house with the girlfriend


any chance it was your story?


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Thank you for the advice! In any case, is there a way to get their respect back? I don’t know with aries guys, but one of my best friends is an aries girl and we had some agreements once, he got mad at me, lost her respect for me, but one year after we were friends again.
Posted by pisceswoman123
The Aries man looks for a woman that owns their respect. If at any point they loose respect for you the relationship is dumb.
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Posted by diamondgemini
Thank you for the advice! In any case, is there a way to get their respect back? I don’t know with aries guys, but one of my best friends is an aries girl and we had some agreements once, he got mad at me, lost her respect for me, but one year after we were friends again.
Posted by pisceswoman123
The Aries man looks for a woman that owns their respect. If at any point they loose respect for you the relationship is dumb.

click to expand
Umm... In my experience, it is difficult. Aries men have this idea of the perfect woman and once they realize you are not that they will move on. Sometimes they will come back every now and then for sex if it was good with you. They tend to confuse because they are still nice and friendly, so you still think is something there and you don't move on. They don't want you to be angry with them because they never really mean to hurt.


Is different with friends because Aries loves friendships and will try harder.


My only advice is to move on. If it's meant to be he will come back, but really don't wait for him or reach him. Live your life and learn from the experience.
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