I couldn't do the relationship with the Aquarian lady.

Posted by pinkbird03
Hmm she’s not upset.

Posted by Fragrance
Enjoyed a lot reading your story. Very picturesque.

I actually supposed she has a cancer moon before you mentioning it... cap moon-cancer moon classic.

The cap moon is anxious about the future and cannot afford to waste time. They are their best when they are constructing something... the cancer moon is supportive, understanding the need for security.

You both consoled one another. Yes, I believe she's not upset because she cares indeed. 🙂 Additionally, your honesty made her feel secure.

About her being grateful... you have no idea... cancer moon asks herself at times "isn't it too good to be true?" I feel so much gratitude each moment because my partner (venus in taurus too) is... everything, everything wonderful.

It's nice you got this out of your mind. Best of luck with your project! 🌻🌼🌺

Posted by Fragrance
Enjoyed a lot reading your story. Very picturesque.

Posted by mission
Not asking questions, nor ranting, but listlessly babbling from the top of my head about what I feel a yearning to get out of my mind.

I couldn't stay with the Aquarian lady - it just didn't feel right. She, (henceforth referred to as "L") has a good mind, a good heart, and an impressive work ethic. She entertained me in a style I'd never experienced or thought up on my own. She was a gift giver; she gave me a lot of small gifts here and there. She was passionate in bed; very close, very comforting. Her parents are kind, and I enjoyed the discourse I had with them.

I texted her after I left the bar, "Can I come meet with you right now?"

She replied, "Haha, I'd need a quick sec but what's up?"

I hesitated .. I'm confrontational everywhere but within the arena of romance. I remembered, she had issues with self-esteem and her body image, but she told me I'm naturally comforting and.. perhaps, beyond that, I'm the first one with which she could see herself healing that issue.

I responded, "I just don't feel like I can do a relationship right now? Plz don't kill me."

She was disarmingly collected: "Haha I'm not going to kill you, don't worry."

I parked outside her residence and waited. It was a Taurean female friend of mine that reassured me I was making the right decision by following my heart. I knew from the beginning I was not completely committed, and it made it easy for me to let go of any prospects of jealousy. I was unusually comfortable around her from day one.

Last Friday, on the way to the Detroit Institute of Arts, I had picked her up. Too much coffee, frustrated with my position in life, unsure of how I felt with her, she looked at me while we were driving on the freeway.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine! Why, do I not seem fine?"

"You seem nervous."

*sigh* "I'm very nervous, okay. It isn't just you. I'm nervous about us, about myself around you, and my project and family and life."

She gently grabbed my hand and massaged me, and reminded me everything would be alright. She took no offense. I was, for the first time by a romantic other, sincerely soothed by an immediate attention that I did not ask for. She actually helped me. I guess that's the thing about a Cancer moon, is that one might hold what a Capricorn moon like myself needed without knowing.

We sat in the DIA looking at a painting. She is an artist, but she had only been here two or three times! She tells me she usually can't investigate a painting with so many distractions, but there we stood, telling eachother what we saw in the work, the relationship of the colors and forms and.. what we knew of each other by what we spoke of the painting. She kept the ticket as a keepsake.

That night we were planning to meet up with our friends - an eccentric, humorous and tasteful Taurean male named "S", and a nervous, intelligent Sagittarius male named "G", - to visit a gallery reception just down Woodward, a showing of the work of the gallery's owner who is also a professional artist. While waiting, "L" and I went to one of my favorite coffee houses/bars. It was there that, while making a joke, I accidentally referred to her as my girlfriend. A Freudian slip, but, she was amused.

The show itself was, beside not being catered necessarily to our tastes, a great show. I was nervous about talking to the owner, as he had personally invited me, and I had been personally interested in showing my work there in the future. "L" reassured me that I ought to go talk with him, and that it would go well. She pulled my hand and led me closer to him, but I stood put and waited to make eye contact with the owner/artist. I let her know I appreciated the gesture and the help, but I thought I knew what I was doing. So we stood outside for a cigarette, instead. She asked me if I was nervous to display affection with her in front of my colleagues. "I sure am! But I'd be willing to work it through with you." With that, she gave me a healthy, warm hug, and, as I saw my two presumable colleagues "G" and "S" walk out the door to notice me, I took a double-take, almost moved back, but I committed. "G" acted nervous, and "S" blushed. "L" was helping me take steps to grow.

We then head for a final destination for the night; another artist-friend's studio. When we arrived, driving through ghettos, we were surprised to find ourselves parked outside of a beautiful estate. It was great to see "C" again, and he was happily glad to have seen me again after all this time. He had invited "S", "G", and I to model for his portrait paintings. Walking around the estate, I remarked on the beauty of the courtyard behind. Turns out, this was one of Henry Ford's first homes, within which he, purportedly, designed the assembly line for Ford. "C" had managed to impress a 1% er with his oil painting skills, and was now living in the basement rent free.

We chatted about the art world, mused about the collections of interesting knick-knacks, and explored a sub-basement tunnel that led from the house to the garage studio (though we weren't allowed to explore the rest of the building.) "L" and I went out back and sat on the steps beneath an iron wrought pergola decorated with vines. I put my arm around her shoulder, and she came in, and we shared our visions of the future.

"L" was coming out of her house now, and she got into my truck. She told me everything was alright. She told me how I centered her, how I taught her - somehow - to leave resentment behind. She told me how she didn't need her "spirit guides" anymore. How she'd like to go to church with me. She told me she knew this was coming with the sun in Scorpio, she just didn't know when.

Did I say she makes wonderful soup? We drove to Ferndale yesterday to watch the Van Gogh movie, because she bought me a ticket without asking. The movie was beautiful and I learned a lot, but it made me sad, and I felt a little crazy on the way out. I almost felt a panic attack coming on, or maybe it was just my racing heart. But then we sat on a couch in the hallway of this quaint theatre, and the world slowed down again. It was cold outside. She was with me. I was howling about the cold. She was laughing. I was waiting for it to end, or to at least get some water to clear the pains in my sides. I was.. nervous again, until the vegetarian restaurant we went to. The food was great. We kindly shared our meals with one another. I barely said a word, but she understood completely. She said she'd pay for her meal, but I refused and picked up the tab. The look she gave me was.. love? She said thank you. It didn't matter. Her vegetarian tom-yum soup was at least equal or better to what I had enjoyed there. She's a great cook.

We ran into the street, and it was freezing. We laughed at ourselves for not taking the back exit and, instead, running and screaming around the block in the freezing wind. We got back on the highway and, she thanked me again for paying for her meal, with great sincerity. Sincerity. She was.. grateful.. For such a small act. The Leo ex had expected it, the Cap ex demanded it. "L" was.. just.. grateful.

"L," I told her, "I can't do this right now. I don't feel ready, and I don't feel right. I'm not giving you my all. And.. our beliefs. Maybe I think too big picture, but what happens when we move on different paths? I didn't realize it until now, but I want to find one person, and I want to marry them."

"I do too!" she interjected.

"But I want to marry someone with the same beliefs as me. And I knew that from the beginning."

L: "Things can change."

Me: "I know, and they might, and I still want to work alongside you and help you and hang out with you."

L: "I do too. This was just bad timing."

She's Venus in Aries, I'm Venus in Taurus.

Me: "It moved too fast, and I don't want to hurt you worse than I would right now, by dragging it out too far if I feel the conviction that I wouldn't feel right to stay with you now. I still want to go into seminary."

L: "And I'm okay with you going to seminary!"

Me: "And I want my wife to be alongside me, preaching the same beliefs."

L: "Ahh.. and I don't want five kids."

Me: "Right.."

L: "But who knows? Maybe something will change! Maybe I will want five kids someday in the future."

We smiled.

We didn't want to put love on the sidelines, we wanted to put it in the past, but with an open mind toward the future. This episode is to be put behind, and perhaps if timing and circumstance allow it, something between us will spark in the future.

She cried, and hugged me, and kissed me, and held my hand.

"I'm sorry. This was all me. You did nothing."

L: "I'm not upset with you. I don't think I could be."

I left.

I texted her a couple hours ago..

"I wonder if a slight emptiness is a natural result of doing something you didn't want to do but felt was necessary."

L: "It's very complex .. it feels like a small defeat in a battle of triumph.. the loss aches but it is necessary.. If I've learned anything , it's that true energies (love, peace, serenity) in their purity, remain, even after everything seems to have left. This is merely a trial, something that needs to get organized before there can be a solution. I'm willing to wait and see what the universe has in store. I care deeply about you.. but not in a selfish way.. I want to see these amazing projects you envision come to life over the next few months .. I can't wait to see your success."

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Fragrance
Enjoyed a lot reading your story. Very picturesque.

Whitest love story since 'Before Sunrise'

click to expand

Posted by Wineaux15
This is not the Harlequin Romance section at Barnes and Nobles.