Me - Leo Sun, Capricorn Moon, F
HIm - Aries Sun, Taurus Moon, M
We met a few months ago. Things started off so quickly, we were seeing each other, and when we weren't, we were texting from the start of the day till night. We clicked, we acknowledged that, and promised to be open about our feelings to each other. We spent a lot of time with each other, and grew intimate.
Somewhere along the lines, he started to behave coldly. I'm quite sure I became too easy to be around, because I gave him all of my time. Whenever he called me up, I'd be ready to meet him whenever, to be his listening ear and best friend/cuddle friend. It's still the case right now, except I'm trying to detach myself from him, slowly. Though, to be honest, he's on my mind the whole day. We have established that we are merely friends, and he has told me multiple times that "I have no romantic feelings for you", but it seemed that wasn't the case at the beginning.
Here's the part I really can't leave out: He has a girlfriend who is currently overseas, but will be returning soon. He is also seeing someone else at the same time, and I've met her and seen them interact. I was only allowed to because I told him "i don't have feelings for you anymore", which was true, until recently I started faltering again. I don't know what "courage" caused me to be involved in something so sinful and unhealthy, but I guess I am trying my best to detach from him already. Our "best friend" dynamics makes me so happy but kills me at the same time. I just don't know how to make it easier, or faster for me to.
I'm new here. I've been reading so much on the forums that I decided to just give in and have an account, because I'm desperate for help. I know the context of our relationship is so screwed up and wrong, but my irrational heart cannot stop but feel so much. I just need a slap in the face, some advice that I can read over and over again to drill into my stubborn head. I tell myself "maybe we're not good for each other now, but we could be next time, a long time later." Idealistic, isn't it?
Aries men. I know how you work... some of you are manipulative, some of you perfect beyond description. He's somewhere in between, so insecure, so needy, but appearing so strong and so intrepid. And I have really fallen in too deep. Please help me out of this... ?
Signed Up:
Jan 28, 2012Comments: 0 · Posts: 180 · Topics: 16
If he told you he sees you only as a friend, then why would you not take his words as the truth? What you know of him you have acknowledged isn't healthy, so either accept him treating you this way or ax him! He seems like he doesn't know what he wants and you don't want to be in the middle of that mess- or do you?
Well, I think that sometimes men and women will throw the bullshit card and the person on the receiving end is not looking at the card and is only looking at the fact a card was just thrown.....Attention!!!! He gave you the attention that was probably needed at the time and wanted and when he took that away ya got little bananas. I understand!
I wouldn??t focus so much on him and really try to look in the mirror and see why is it you want a man like that if what he is doing is not making you happy. If you are happy and enjoy chasing him while he is probably chasing other women then so be it. However, I think this is just an attention thing.
I mean you knew about the women you know about the other stuff so why change how you see the entire relationship now and it??s because he took the attention away that you want. I wouldn??t worry about it too much and don??t beat yourself up just realize that you are looking for attention and he gave that to you.
Now, I would just find someone else to give you that attention and just chill and not sweat the small stuff. Stop beating yourself up and move on to the next if you??re not happy.
-continued-
- where he'd cuddle with me or hold me in our sleep, and it's almost like I would sometimes play the role of the protector, and feel safe at the same time. I felt like we were both broken, and found each other to heal ourselves. Some days when I am about to lose my head, I think of the possibilities we can have with each other in an alternate universe. I'm perfectly "normal" as I'm writing this now, and I really do mean what I'm saying, however ridiculous sounding. The thought has left my head though, because it's impossible, and as much as I push myself towards the things that are bad for me, I'm slowly trying to draw away.
It's difficult to be angry at him because it's as though he hasn't done anything terribly wrong except cheat on his girlfriend - large of our interaction was a mutual agreement, and he never had the intention to hurt me, always assuming i'd be able to "handle" it. Except I couldn't.
I'm meeting later today with a few friends. I don't know how it's going to go. He likes to behave coldly towards me in front of our mutual friends (I really don't understand why - to give the strong impression that he feels nothing for me? because he cares about his image? yet he can flirt with our mutual friend, despite how we are much closer to each other...),
Yes that was very unhealthy.
Sorry to hear this aliasidealist. Not all Aries men are like this - players. I'm not. But my Venus is in Pisces - maybe that is the difference. The best thing you can do for yourself is to stay out of the situation and not spend time with him. That may be all you want to do, but it's not healthy and you're only hurting yourself in the end while he's out "playing". Distract yourself by hanging out with friends or anything but don't call him - it will make him wonder what you're up to...trust me, he knows you are focused on him so he doesn't have to "chase"...begin being unavailable and don't initiate contact and if he cares at all, he'll come running - if he doesn't, don't waste your time he will continue the same behavior and you deserve more than that. You may not be able to be just friends with him and in time you will know that. Good luck!