If an ex aries comes back to you.... please help!

Ok, I need some help if any Aries folks have some thoughts...

I am Cancer Sun and Virgo Moon. My ex (who wants to be my bf again) is Aries Sun and Capricorn moon. We were together for 7 months and I did just about anything for him. I even moved out of state to be with him. A month after I moved here, and ex of his, who has a son with him started being really difficult (she always has been but it became a hundred times worse after I moved here). She started saying I couldnt be in the car to pick up his son with him, I couldn't attend his school graduation with him, she wouldn't even call to talk to him about his son if I was around. It was awful. So I became fed up because when I repeatedly confronted this issue all he would say was, "she is my son's mother and will make it hard for me to see him. What can I do?" So... I basically threw him out. He went to live next door (he gave up his apt for me to rent from his mother- like a duplex house). I gave him all of his belongings bit by bit. His mother and I are pretty close. She stood by me and so he somewhat shut her out and wouldn't tell her how he was feeling about anything until very recently. He slept or watched tv all day. That's IT. And he loves to go out and be busy so this was VERY unlike him. I "waited around" for 3 weeks quietly to see if he did anything to come and fix things with me. He didn't. So I joined a dating site and chatted and went on a few dates. I then ignored him and was rude to him if he even said hello. I was VERY hurt and angry and I was seriously going to move on because he wasn't fixing it....

Then he proceeded to go out of state every weekend for a few weeks to see his son and stayed at his exes house. That doubly burned me up.

Anyway, my best friend is also one of his best friends so he had shut her out too. She came up to visit me for the weekend last weekend and went next door and knocked on the door and said something like hey man what the hell is the matter with you? What did you do? He hugged her and proceeded to spill his guts. He told her he slept with his ex once but told her (the ex) she will never be me and thanks to her *I* hate him now. And he told my friend PLEASE help him fix this because he misses me so bad and he f'd up everything and he will do anything now to have me back - even take the ex to court to stop her from interfering between us (he is not the fighting type so THIS was a shock to me!). I was on a date when this happened...

So then he told her he is empty without me and he hates himself and knows I hate him because he didn't stand up for me and he would do anything to fix it. So she told him I don't hate him but he is an a $ $ for the way hes handled everything and that she would try to help. She said he looked so sad almost like he could cry and he said everything he does, everything he sees, watches, hears, etc reminds him of me. So she invited him over to my house (I said ok to that because I wouldn't be home for a while (my date) and he IS her friend too. When I was coming home I warned her so she could scoot him out and she said he wanted to stay and I asked if I should go out for longer and she said no way please come home he loves you and misses you terriby, at least speak to him.

So I did. And all night he followed me around like a lost puppy, rubbing my feet, my shoulders, carried a tv for me, ran out to 10 stores looking for a belated bday card for me (he missed it), and after my friend went to bed, we talked until 5 am and he was hugging me and saying he f'd up and he cant be without me and admitted he slept with his ex one time and regretted it but that for almost 6 weeks he was depressed and lonely and thought I hated his guts and figured he had nothing left anyway so she offered and he said whatever.

Now, he is aware I have been dating, he gets almost frightened everytime my cell phone dings from an email or text or call. He said he will go to court to take care of his ex. I also told him if I give him a chance I will NOT get intimate with him until he goes to a Dr and gets completely checked out for STD's now that he slept with her. He said he will do it and wait for me... anything I want.

So, do you all think I should trust him? I'm trying to give him a chance to prove himself but I am on guard. He said he hopes we are married someday and doodles the word love on my arm or stomach or whereever else he can while watching a movie. (with his finger lol). I caught him doing it several times and he doesnt know I realized what he was doing. lol He wants to sleep by me, swears he wont try anything funny, just wants to be close to me. But I haven't let him.

Any opinions—

Oh, and a couple of days before my friend 'got to him', it turns out he finally opened up to his mother as well and told her that he missed me so bad it was killing him and he cant believe he ruined a good thing. She then told him yeah you did and I can't believe you did it either...

Wow! That's a tough one. I could never date a man who has a child. I just can't do it. I don't want baby momma drama! And honestly if the last man on earth had a child I would rather be alone. Why don't you find a man who doesn't have a child so you don't have to deal with this bullshit from baby momma? There are plenty of good men out there with out a baby momma. I would say follow your heart but, sometimes the heart is WRONG. Sorry I'm not much help. I wish u the best and be strong if he is what u want k xoxo

O wait he slept with the EX— Um no, kick his ass 2 the curb!!!! If u forgive him he WILL do it again, becuz u forgave him once. Don't do it girl u deserve better! Tell him 2 work it out with baby momma!

Well I am divorced with 3 kids, myself so how can I judge that? And he hasn't been with the baby mama in almost 4 years. She's a cheater and a liar. She has multiple kids from different fathers. Just so that's known here... 🙂

And let me stress this... we were broken up when the 'incident' happened with the ex. He thought I hated his guts because when he said hello to me or said anything for that matter I was cold to him and walked away because I was angry. I didn't want hello's. I wanted 'please baby I miss you'. lol

Oh, I see. That's even harder. I would say than think of yur kids and find a man who will be gr8 for both u and yur kids. I think it's important to make sure that the kids like yur man. Their feelings should always be considered when making a decision like this. IMHO

Oh definitely. They love him and he has always been cool to them as well. He has never minded I have kids. As a matter of fact he said it made him said (before we broke up) because he always thought I would never want anymore and he wanted one with me. He just told me this when we started speaking again. I told him if he stood by me I would have always been open to discussing having one more child with him. He was baffled. Then I mentioned... however since all this has happened, you would have to prove yourself for a long time before I would actually try to deliver on that. His response was I am so sorry things went like this and I promise I wont let her (the ex) get away with this crap anymore. I want you in my life and when you see that, maybe you will share a child with me then. Until then, I understand your feelings....

Yeah, he has to prove he is ready 2 be a responsible man. I hope it all works out for the both of you. Sounds like he really loves you.

lol @ you too...

cancergirl76, this all sounds so complicated and I am not a fan of complicated romances if people can help it. I have to say you are not helping yourself here from what you write.
You have moved out of state and all that kinda stuff 'for' him. It's his turn to act. Aries is an action sign not all talk, everytime he says "I 'will' ..." you response should be "when?"

It's probably time to take a lil step back, let him come to you and make the necessary moves. It will be completely up to you about the forgiving part. The idea about seeing other people with his knowledge is probably a good idea. He needs to know you are have options.

Ahhh yes, I asked when he will be going to court to file the complaint. He said as soon as he gets paid Friday he will ask his job for a day off next week. So yup, I am with you. I am definitely asking "when". I even suggested how about I come along in case you need help. I am quite serious. Fix it the right way. I told him he has two weeks or I walk. He knows I have had 3 dates. He knows people are still contacting me and its driving him nuts. So yup, I have pointed out my options as well. 😉 LOL But I DO want him to come through. I DO love him. I am just wondering if his actions now seem to be indicating he really means what he says based on Aries mens 'behavior'. 🙂

An Aries trait is, if it comes out of the mouth, they will most probably DO the act. This is mostly to do with ego.

However, it is no use for you to wonder about if he really means it, it is up to him and it will show in his actions.

Try not to help him if you can, he needs to work this out himself, while you do your thing.

Let the best man win 😉

Thanks! You are so right! Yesterday I asked him if he's still intending to go to court and he said yes with a completely straight face. So I am not letting it go. And I even asked him flat out "So when are you going to the dr to get checked out?". He said the same as the other... soon as he gets paid so probably Monday. I am standing firm, even though that is such a hard thing to do when you love(d) someone and just want to go back to the way it was.

Anyone else have any tips— 🙂

Thanks for your advice! I really appreciate it so much!