I'm done with relationships for the time being
This topic was created in the Aries forum by MysticFire on Tuesday, January 8, 2008 and has 9 replies.
I've really just hit a point in my life where wanting to be involved with someone just isn't a priority. Yes, I've been burned in the past. But after so many failed relationships I started trying to figure out why I couldn't be happy.
Mainstream society tells us we need to get married and have babies. So I thought that's what I should do, too. I spent the better of my effort and time trying to please boyfriends. I sacrificed so much with a great sense of pride and loyalty. I truly believed if I gave just a little more, the guy would see my devotion and I would get the praise I desperately desired.
Fast foward several years and countless flings later...
I finally get it. I need to fix me before I can possibly try to connect with someone else. I can't like strawberry iced cream just because you do.. What if I really love vanilla but just didn't give myself the opportunity to figure that out?
So my new plan is to move out on my own within the next year. Yes, I am a checkout girl at a grocery store. Yes, I used to be ashamed of this. To think.. All I would ever be is that nobody. But you know what? I am learning to be comfortable in my shoes. There are people alot less fortunate than myself. And honestly, it's just a job anyway. Within the next year or so, I'll finally be making enough to do just this.
Is this a typical Arien or is this a typical Arien? =P
Mainstream society tells us we need to get married and have babies. So I thought that's what I should do, too. I spent the better of my effort and time trying to please boyfriends. I sacrificed so much with a great sense of pride and loyalty. I truly believed if I gave just a little more, the guy would see my devotion and I would get the praise I desperately desired.
Fast foward several years and countless flings later...
I finally get it. I need to fix me before I can possibly try to connect with someone else. I can't like strawberry iced cream just because you do.. What if I really love vanilla but just didn't give myself the opportunity to figure that out?
So my new plan is to move out on my own within the next year. Yes, I am a checkout girl at a grocery store. Yes, I used to be ashamed of this. To think.. All I would ever be is that nobody. But you know what? I am learning to be comfortable in my shoes. There are people alot less fortunate than myself. And honestly, it's just a job anyway. Within the next year or so, I'll finally be making enough to do just this.
Is this a typical Arien or is this a typical Arien? =P
"I spent the better of my effort and time trying to please boyfriends. I sacrificed so much with a great sense of pride and loyalty. I truly believed if I gave just a little more, the guy would see my devotion and I would get the praise I desperately desired."
Emotional maturity is something that takes a long time to face for many people, MysticFire .. for we so often look for it to be bestowed upon us by other people accepting of us, approving of us, honoring us .. when in reality, nobody can give us anything valuable, if we don't know what it is we are seeking.
How can another honor in us, what we don't see for ourselves?
There's a fine line between confidence and ignorance ... only through emotional maturity can we see that being confident in ourselves doesn't really mean anything if we are ignoring what we value in ourself and just look to other people to give us what they deem is worthy for us to have.
This is one quality that I really like in the female Ram compared to other sun signs ... you girls figure it out earlier in life and aren't afraid to make adjustments ... whereas a lot of others have to live many years to figure it out, if ever.
To be confident in the self means to accept yourself, for not only your strengths, also your limitations ...
Emotional maturity is something that takes a long time to face for many people, MysticFire .. for we so often look for it to be bestowed upon us by other people accepting of us, approving of us, honoring us .. when in reality, nobody can give us anything valuable, if we don't know what it is we are seeking.
How can another honor in us, what we don't see for ourselves?
There's a fine line between confidence and ignorance ... only through emotional maturity can we see that being confident in ourselves doesn't really mean anything if we are ignoring what we value in ourself and just look to other people to give us what they deem is worthy for us to have.
This is one quality that I really like in the female Ram compared to other sun signs ... you girls figure it out earlier in life and aren't afraid to make adjustments ... whereas a lot of others have to live many years to figure it out, if ever.
To be confident in the self means to accept yourself, for not only your strengths, also your limitations ...
i dont think shes trying to validate her worth through a man....i just think its a natural desire that all women need. Regardless of how many failed relationships Ive been in..I still have this desire for true love. ...mystic let love find you...It will. In the meantime enjoy being single....keep that body looking good...keep the mind fresh...keep the spirit uplifting....
I can feel what Mystic is saying thou. But for me its insecurity that No man will accept me and my kids as a package. I leaped toooooooo soooooon when i turned 18 and got married for all the wrong reasons. I know am a single mom of three and have been in two relationships that have left me feeling like i should have just stayed with my husband. My friends tell me to stay positive and Mr. Right will come one day but realisticly for me the chance is very very slim. So I too decided this year is going to be all about me. Im going to do things that make me happy. and spend more time playing with my kids. But even thou I say i want nothing to do with men, i find myself dreaming about my knight in Shiny armour. He is faceless but has the sweetest heart. In my mind i dont think I ask for too much but i think i am asking for a man that just doesnt exsist but in fairy tales. But for you Mystic, I really think you have a chance if find yourself first. play the field, have fun, go to school, try to travel as much as possible. explore diff. ways to have fun besides clubbing and drinking if thats what you like. Im saying this cuz i regret not doing all this before getting married and having kids. Not like my family didnt try to warn me, I just didnt listen. but i do want to make the best of my life as it is now thou. I just get very overwhelmed and get all depressed. I think I need some happy pills...lol
the aries woman is so misunderstood!
roxi i dont want to wear the pants in my relationship I just want my man appreciate the independent qualities that I have...most men let it mess with their ego which is really sad.
oh roxi i know you are speaking in general Hon but the Aries woman just wants everything to be okay..you know?
firestarter im from atlanta too...actually I live in mableton....good to chat with home folk
Mysticfire, be true to yourself as you have already decided. Leading an authentic life is imperative especially for an Aries. We may spontaneously combust if we don't.
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