Is he into me or not—?

I've been friends with my Aries 4 almost 2 years. He used to just come around & hang out, nothing romantic. But he always kept in contact. I didn't really notice him until like 6 months ago.. I invited him to a party & we ended up crossing a few lines. I was SHOCKED by his passion. We continued to hang out after this, just more often. & things only got hotter. But sometimes we just cuddle & watch movies. He hangs on to my every word. & he always does all the contacting me. He's such a sweetie. & acts as though he's feeling me. But basically we are FWB. He recently moved out of state but he still texts and calls me just the same. He's only been gone 2weeks but he's already planned a special trip back just to see me. He even told me he is "sprung" whatever that means. & woman that I am I started falling & I told him that I like him. But he just said he hoped I don't want more cuz right now he doesn't. & he doesn't want us 2 confuse missing each other 4 wanting to be together. Then he said the mental & physical is there but not the "emotional spark" that he thinks we should feel with the one we're meant to be with. Afterwards he proceeded to text me the entire rest of the day, until he asked if he could call & sat on the phone with me for 4 hours, telling me how I'm amazing & how we just fit. Am I missing something here— Does he like me or not? I don't think I'm just a booty call as he's on the other side of the country. Plus we've known each other a while & only just started sexing. HEEEEELLLLPPP!! Should I just move on or no? I'm a Capricorn woman btw (I know).

hmmmm....reverse the question.
Are you into him or not? Do you want more? Do you want a proper relationship? Do you want to be treated as such or are you ok being with someone who tells you "there's no emotional spark" but then tells you how amazing you are and how you both just fit?

I say know what you want, have confidence that you deserve to be treated a certain way and don't settle for less. I'm not saying leave him, but know what you want and what you are worthy of. If he's not willing or capable of giving you a more solid basis for a relationship then move on - you don't have to leave him or anything but goodness don't limit yourself for someone who leaves you wondering. Do you like the FWB set up? I just don't buy in to FWB, I always think someone wants more than the other and saying "it's FWB" is an easy way out to save face if you will. Just my opinion. No one said you can't go out and date others while you've got Mr. "there's no emotional spark" and "I hope you don't want more" but "you're amazing by the way" floudering around with mixed statements.

Eh, who has time for that anyway??!! (My aries is coming out).

Bottom line? What do YOU WANT—

As for the two years without asking me out...... When we met I was in a very serious relationship, which I told him the first time he invited me out for lunch. He was all do u love him? I did & I kept it strictly friendly between us. I am single now & have been for like the last 9 months, most of which I've spent with him. He has said he wants a girlfriend but is scared to do the relationship thing, as he only has been in one & that ended in heartbreak for him & the girl. So I'm trying to figure out if I should be patient, cuz that I understand, or if he's just stringing me along? Is he interested & scared? Or just not interested? What do u guys think?

Run262.. In the beginning I was the one who said hey ur a great FWB cuz I was Linda fresh from a 6 year relationship that although I ended, I was still dealing with. NOW, however, I do want more. I'm just confused as to whether he does too cuz he keeps saying conflicting things. I don't know if I'm going crazy or he is.

Posted by starlover
Sounds like a shallow dick to me

LOL

Feby16aqua He definitely did say those things... Then he called & we talked for 4 hours. During the convo he admitted to having feelings but didn't want to end up like his last relationship. Not to mention the day he left (left for his job) he said, he really didn't want to leave me cuz he knows if he'd stayed he'd end up falling for me.... He's always the one that brings these things up. Not me. For example he said he's not seeing anyone else cuz when he has he only thought about me & missed me more. Then he'll say something like but if u want to see other ppl that's up to u. It's confusing as hell cuz then when I say seething similar he's unresponsive. I guess he is telling me but he's told me things along both lines & I'm struggling with which to take serious. It seems like Aries are game players. Capricorns are not.

U guys are right. I should just start dating. But I swear every time I go out he throws what can only be described as a mini tantrum. It's like he says one thing but then expects another. & I really do not like the games. I am very blunt. But I do LOVE the Aries passion. Maybe I'll just be on the lookout for another more mature Aries.

Feby16aqua what are U sharing? It's just showing blank on my screen.

Posted by Run262
hmmmm....reverse the question.
Are you into him or not? Do you want more? Do you want a proper relationship? Do you want to be treated as such or are you ok being with someone who tells you "there's no emotional spark" but then tells you how amazing you are and how you both just fit?

I say know what you want, have confidence that you deserve to be treated a certain way and don't settle for less. I'm not saying leave him, but know what you want and what you are worthy of. If he's not willing or capable of giving you a more solid basis for a relationship then move on - you don't have to leave him or anything but goodness don't limit yourself for someone who leaves you wondering. Do you like the FWB set up? I just don't buy in to FWB, I always think someone wants more than the other and saying "it's FWB" is an easy way out to save face if you will. Just my opinion. No one said you can't go out and date others while you've got Mr. "there's no emotional spark" and "I hope you don't want more" but "you're amazing by the way" floudering around with mixed statements.

Eh, who has time for that anyway??!! (My aries is coming out).

Bottom line? What do YOU WANT—

Round of Applause.
Thank goodness for you.

That is the bottom line. What does the OP want?

If you have to ask, he's not into you.

Posted by starlover


I LOVE it ~~ but with emotional feeling, love and depth

There is a huge difference and lots of men will keep a woman hanging on and
bang her without the commitment if they can get away with it...i would just tell
those kind of guys to go to a hooker

Just because you allow yourself to be overcome by estrogen doesn't give you the right to compare it to prostitution. If you want to stick with an outdated, conservative view on sex, so be it. But to put down other women who can handle it is bullshit.

The prissy shit can go, kthxbai. Women do not need other women perpetuating these double standards. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Fwb is an issue for a woman when she actually thinks it'll get her a relationship. Then yes, it is the guy stringing the female along with fwb as a cover and is self destructive.

If guys can go out and get some at random and not be compared to prostitutes, then so can women.

Also, a guy who proposes fwb over a relationship, also not into you.

Going into a fwb thinking it'll land you a relationship is fucking stupid.

Even if you were to go into it, treating it like it should be (not anticipating a relationship), someone always goes and fucks it up. In my experience, it's always the guy being a cakey eaty asshole. Jealousy, double standards, etc. You'd think they were the ones with the gine.

So we talked again today & I told him our friendship is where it's at & I love that! I also told him I do want more & I'm going to see other guys. His response was what about when I fall for u..? I didn't respond but I do feel like that's his personally problem. Not gonna lie tho I didn't say cancel the trip cuz the intimacy is amazing!! & he's still one of my best friends!! Thanks for y'all's advice. It was a wonderful welcome to the site.

Posted by starlover
The FWB with thing is like being a hooker without charging money for it isnt it?


Sex without emotion or commitment

That's a pretty bold statement. I'm thinking it's clear by this comment or is construed you're calling women sluts and hoes if they choose to do that. No mention of wa wa wa. And clearly sluts and hoes cuz they're not getting money like a hooker or prostitute ... the ones who take the money and run, was it? 😉 😛

You basically implied that those who participate in FWB are basically a hooker in theory because there's no "emotion" involved. In this case, we're talking about women involved, so the immediate connection is that you're essentially saying women who participate in fwb are hookers, or sluts, because sluts don't charge for sex.

If you're not into that thing or have never been in a fwb because you're not into that idea, fine. But don't start throwing around words like "hooker" in regard to those who do it. You don't really have the place to be giving these names all because you attach so much emotional meaning to sex with someone.

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of the idea anymore only because I saw the drama and bs that could be stirred up by the guy and it turned me off to it a bit. For no strings sex, there was about as much drama as there was in dating or a relationship. Wtf is the point, then, you know? However, that said, I'm not about to make some thoughtless comment likening those who participate to hookers.

It always gets under my skin when other women help perpetuate such bullshit when we, as a whole, already have the rest of the world against us. We don't need our "own" doing the same.

Posted by starlover
Did i call those women those names—?

I am a pretty bold girl with pretty bold opinions i guess

Just call it different perceptions, but that is how i see it??

🙂 😛

Guys will always look out for women that give it out without the
the guy having to put the effort in

That is the bottom line, and if women want to do that then so be it

I chose that quote of yours because that's what you had said earlier in OPs thread, there wasn't anything about wa wa wa, nor anything that you were explaining when you orginally responded to RR this morning .... just pointing out you were saying two different things, implying one thing but explaining it in a way that wasn't anything close to what I quoted earlier ... jus sayin 😉 😛

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by OceanDeep ... the ones who take the money and run, was it? 😉 😛

Didn't someone actually do that?

click to expand

They did! Billy Joe and Bobbie Sue did!😉 haha

Posted by rockyroadicecream
You basically implied that those who participate in FWB are basically a hooker in theory because there's no "emotion" involved. In this case, we're talking about women involved, so the immediate connection is that you're essentially saying women who participate in fwb are hookers, or sluts, because sluts don't charge for sex.

If you're not into that thing or have never been in a fwb because you're not into that idea, fine. But don't start throwing around words like "hooker" in regard to those who do it. You don't really have the place to be giving these names all because you attach so much emotional meaning to sex with someone.

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of the idea anymore only because I saw the drama and bs that could be stirred up by the guy and it turned me off to it a bit. For no strings sex, there was about as much drama as there was in dating or a relationship. Wtf is the point, then, you know? However, that said, I'm not about to make some thoughtless comment likening those who participate to hookers.

It always gets under my skin when other women help perpetuate such bullshit when we, as a whole, already have the rest of the world against us. We don't need our "own" doing the same.

+1

Having a high sex drive, and being a FWB have nothing to do with one another.

Just be happy when you're not stuck in a relationship with someone who doesn't match your sex drive, or you're miserable. But then again, you can still have amazing sex, have a great relationship, and your partner can still find a hooker while you're nestled in bed after a good romp.

IDK. You simply implied ppl who are FWB are compared to being hookers prostitutes. But minus money. Hoes and sluts are those who sleep around and don't care with who, why, or what. I think there's other things you could've said. Whose right to judge someone to that level? Not nice to point fingers by or through judgment or judging. It's their life 🙂 If they choose it, then they live by it. So let them live it 🙂

I talk with others too, just an odd choice of words to use if that's not what you meant. I was pointing it out, that you were talking out of both sides of your mouth. 😄

True, then again some may think you were! lol

I don't know, do you? If you're truly asking, then no, I don't think you do. Which is why you really don't care you called the OP a prostitute, minus the money. Your bed. 🙂 Have a great night, I'm off to find a free fuck! 🙂

I'm sorry, that probably hurt your ears or eyes 🙂 I'm not perfect, and I luuuuuuuuuuuuuurve myself for it! Ima thinkin someone needs to grow up a bit, and open their world up outside of themselves 🙂

I've had a FWB before, had the time of my life at the time. Is it something I'd do now? Nope. I've cheated, been cheated on, thought about cheating, and have always wanted to have a one night stand. And guess what? I haven't slept with anyone in over two years. I guess I'm a hoe hoe hoe, woooo hooo. Maybe I should ask for some cash, then again, if you have to work for it, would it really be fun anymore? Hmmmmmm.

See that's where you and I disagree. Just because you feel you are respecting your body, which is wonderful! BUT, you called her basically a whore, and then tell RR you didn't. How about either than apologize to OP, or then own up that you're completely contradicting yourself to save face. So you backtracked when someone points something that really is hurtful. Now you're proud that you feel you have the right to tell someone they're less than respectful of themselves because they don't follow what you feel are standards. You shouldn't be proud to be low or mean. They're YOUR standards, or ideals, etc. It doesn't give you the right to imply something pretty mean about someone you don't know, and hold yourself above someone you don't even know. Be kind, instead of retorting to "I could've said something else". What, it wasn't harsh enough, so you pride yourself that you weren't even more, as RR said, prissy? Life experience shouldn've taught you stuff, along with decency. It's called couth. What you've said shows none. I'm not saying you don't have couth, I'm saying you haven't shown any. You put your pants on everyday just like everyone else does.

SL, I'm cool with you generally, but your immature Scorp side is showing. :/

I already have others, so no. Ideally, I wanted to get a new one eventually when she passed, but we're sorta stuck with these fosters. So I'm good, haha.

Only in the guy world do they expect someone to stick around and wait while they figure their shit out. *eyeroll*

Posted by kalin
When Aries guys like someone, they don't shy away. 2 out of the 3 Aries guys told me they liked me after meeting me for just one time. and both asked for my number right away and asked me out right away. if he likes you, it shouldn't have taken him 2 years without asking you to be his gf. if he said he didn't want more, believe him.

ok I think this just happened. Giddy up!