Is it an Aries thing to turn nasty during a breakup?
This topic was created in the Aries forum by MondayMorning on Tuesday, July 25, 2017 and has 17 replies.
I just broke up with an Aries man I was dating, he turned unexpectedly nasty on me and left me shocked like a slap in the face. Is this an Aries male thing?
We'd been dating about three weeks and he was laying it on thick, like really thick with talk of engagement and buying a house nearer to me and talking about kids and the future and saying how happy he was and all that. Calling me 5 times a day. Messages all day. It was really full on.
He'd been totally sweet with me and although I was a bit disturbed by his crazy romantic rush I also thought it was quite nice to experience a little of being swept off my feet. But I was at the same time with one eye open because you now - guys who do a lot of talking are sometimes the last ones you should trust.
Not going to play innocent here, I broke up with him abruptly when he wasn't expecting it because I was mad at him. We met on a dating site and I'd noticed that in the past few days he updated his photos. I found this just really offputting, because he's giving me all this talk, then why update the pictures? I personally think he'd have been really angry if I did that, but he denied it was wrong. I am a Scorp...if you do stuff like that you're going to see the stinger because it causes suspicion.
So anyway, I broke up with him abruptly. I still think I was right to do so (he thinks he did nothing wrong) but I'd never trust him after that, so what's the point. He made me totally suspicious.
What really shocked me was his reaction. He just flew right off the handle at me and said some pretty cruel things; like stuff you'd not normally say (criticized my appearance etc) to try and hurt me deliberately and then fired off that he'd deleted all my pics, phone number and kind of also insulted me by saying he thought I had issues and was no good for anyone and all that.
It was all a little over the top as a reaction! I tried pretty hard to have a reasoned conversation about it (I prefer to part on good terms) but he was really just repeatedly rude to me. He was like a totally different person, cold and really nasty.
Is this an Aries thing or did I have a lucky escape from a douche there?
Totally made me cry!
We'd been dating about three weeks and he was laying it on thick, like really thick with talk of engagement and buying a house nearer to me and talking about kids and the future and saying how happy he was and all that. Calling me 5 times a day. Messages all day. It was really full on.
He'd been totally sweet with me and although I was a bit disturbed by his crazy romantic rush I also thought it was quite nice to experience a little of being swept off my feet. But I was at the same time with one eye open because you now - guys who do a lot of talking are sometimes the last ones you should trust.
Not going to play innocent here, I broke up with him abruptly when he wasn't expecting it because I was mad at him. We met on a dating site and I'd noticed that in the past few days he updated his photos. I found this just really offputting, because he's giving me all this talk, then why update the pictures? I personally think he'd have been really angry if I did that, but he denied it was wrong. I am a Scorp...if you do stuff like that you're going to see the stinger because it causes suspicion.
So anyway, I broke up with him abruptly. I still think I was right to do so (he thinks he did nothing wrong) but I'd never trust him after that, so what's the point. He made me totally suspicious.
What really shocked me was his reaction. He just flew right off the handle at me and said some pretty cruel things; like stuff you'd not normally say (criticized my appearance etc) to try and hurt me deliberately and then fired off that he'd deleted all my pics, phone number and kind of also insulted me by saying he thought I had issues and was no good for anyone and all that.
It was all a little over the top as a reaction! I tried pretty hard to have a reasoned conversation about it (I prefer to part on good terms) but he was really just repeatedly rude to me. He was like a totally different person, cold and really nasty.
Is this an Aries thing or did I have a lucky escape from a douche there?
Totally made me cry!
Posted by MondayMorningHe sounds like a crazy bitch. lol! Maybe an undeveloped Male thing never mind Aries. His ego is probably hurting
I just broke up with an Aries man I was dating, he turned unexpectedly nasty on me and left me shocked like a slap in the face. Is this an Aries male thing?
We'd been dating about three weeks and he was laying it on thick, like really thick with talk of engagement and buying a house nearer to me and talking about kids and the future and saying how happy he was and all that. Calling me 5 times a day. Messages all day. It was really full on.
He'd been totally sweet with me and although I was a bit disturbed by his crazy romantic rush I also thought it was quite nice to experience a little of being swept off my feet. But I was at the same time with one eye open because you now - guys who do a lot of talking are sometimes the last ones you should trust.
Not going to play innocent here, I broke up with him abruptly when he wasn't expecting it because I was mad at him. We met on a dating site and I'd noticed that in the past few days he updated his photos. I found this just really offputting, because he's giving me all this talk, then why update the pictures? I personally think he'd have been really angry if I did that, but he denied it was wrong. I am a Scorp...if you do stuff like that you're going to see the stinger because it causes suspicion.
So anyway, I broke up with him abruptly. I still think I was right to do so (he thinks he did nothing wrong) but I'd never trust him after that, so what's the point. He made me totally suspicious.
What really shocked me was his reaction. He just flew right off the handle at me and said some pretty cruel things; like stuff you'd not normally say (criticized my appearance etc) to try and hurt me deliberately and then fired off that he'd deleted all my pics, phone number and kind of also insulted me by saying he thought I had issues and was no good for anyone and all that.
It was all a little over the top as a reaction! I tried pretty hard to have a reasoned conversation about it (I prefer to part on good terms) but he was really just repeatedly rude to me. He was like a totally different person, cold and really nasty.
Is this an Aries thing or did I have a lucky escape from a douche there?
Totally made me cry!
btw Aries do have grand plans and all from the beginning mines was the same, and yes I was suspicious also. But! You never know until you try and theres no use in suspecting-time will tell. Dont deny yourself a possible good thing at the expense of your desire to know everything. Thats for future ref not just him coz he des sound a tad loon! Just another word of advice try not to accuse or suspect an Aries-this does not go down well. I myself don't mind the challenge of proving i'm righteous and you are oh so wrong but Aries will take it VERY personally. They will respond like a guilty person if i'm being honest lol!
thanks @LibraLovesHim
I think the bit that left me feeling confused over the reaction was that it was clear I was breaking up with him our of suspicion he was messing me around, so in my head it followed there was two possible outcomes:
1. If he was into someone else or looking for someone else he'd just be relatively nice and say "bye".
2. If he wasn't into anyone else and he'd just done it out of habit or whatever that he'd realise how hurt it made me, apologise and remove the dating page.
I think what confused me is how mad he got with me, over something he did
What a weird guy.
I think the bit that left me feeling confused over the reaction was that it was clear I was breaking up with him our of suspicion he was messing me around, so in my head it followed there was two possible outcomes:
1. If he was into someone else or looking for someone else he'd just be relatively nice and say "bye".
2. If he wasn't into anyone else and he'd just done it out of habit or whatever that he'd realise how hurt it made me, apologise and remove the dating page.
I think what confused me is how mad he got with me, over something he did
What a weird guy.
Posted by LibraLovesHimha ha, maybe that was what made him so mad then. I definitely accused him, pretty aggressively (Ach, Scorpio temper)
Just another word of advice try not to accuse or suspect an Aries-this does not go down well. I myself don't mind the challenge of proving i'm righteous and you are oh so wrong but Aries will take it VERY personally. They will respond like a guilty person if i'm being honest lol!
Posted by MondayMorningI know its difficult Scorp but learnt to trust until you are given without a doubt reason NOT to-then confront with all you have if you do so choose toPosted by LibraLovesHimha ha, maybe that was what made him so mad then. I definitely accused him, pretty aggressively (Ach, Scorpio temper)
Just another word of advice try not to accuse or suspect an Aries-this does not go down well. I myself don't mind the challenge of proving i'm righteous and you are oh so wrong but Aries will take it VERY personally. They will respond like a guilty person if i'm being honest lol!click to expand
until then do yourself and relationship potential right. Men AND women will do what they want how they want until they decide they are committed. Until then its up to you to make them realise you are the one and turn their heads towards you only, out of a desire not to lose what is more important to them-the aim is to achieve that spot in a persons life, first. Posted by MondayMorningIts only been 3 weeks... maybe you went about it the wrong way. (accusatory manner) be calm and rational.
thanks @LibraLovesHim
I think the bit that left me feeling confused over the reaction was that it was clear I was breaking up with him our of suspicion he was messing me around, so in my head it followed there was two possible outcomes:
1. If he was into someone else or looking for someone else he'd just be relatively nice and say "bye".
2. If he wasn't into anyone else and he'd just done it out of habit or whatever that he'd realise how hurt it made me, apologise and remove the dating page.
I think what confused me is how mad he got with me, over something he did
What a weird guy.
@librasetting He's 39.
@libraloveshim Ach, I know my temper is quick to be suspicious, and I should have reacted in a calmer not accusatory way - but at the same time - there is not that much to regret because it was over from the moment he did that. Once aroused my suspicions aren't going to go away
What I want is a guy who's only interested in me and only me from day one. I know this might be a lot to ask, but we all want what we want huh? I know I give a lot in return to people I care about and offer them the same back.
During an actual relationship I am really not a jealous or suspicious woman. Never looked in a guy's phone or checked his email and actually have never been cheated on when in a committed relationship but during those early phases I am judging the guy closely for whether or not I want to invest my emotions into him.
Am I a little over zealous? Yep! But you know I have also never been wrong and my guy is pretty much dead on accurate with this stuff. I look back on my good relationships and you know, the guy was never updating his pics on a dating website.
I am a bit believer in monogamy from day one. you date one person, for a day, a week, a month and day by day you are with that person and I find is really disrespectful and a huge turn off if someone doesn't treat me with that same respect. That way of dating is not for everyone, sure, but with this guy I was pretty clear on my expectations and he'd gassed to me about how he'd never do that stuff so he lied.
I feel a bit like he either got mad at being caught out OR he has a little kids ego.
@libraloveshim Ach, I know my temper is quick to be suspicious, and I should have reacted in a calmer not accusatory way - but at the same time - there is not that much to regret because it was over from the moment he did that. Once aroused my suspicions aren't going to go away
What I want is a guy who's only interested in me and only me from day one. I know this might be a lot to ask, but we all want what we want huh? I know I give a lot in return to people I care about and offer them the same back.
During an actual relationship I am really not a jealous or suspicious woman. Never looked in a guy's phone or checked his email and actually have never been cheated on when in a committed relationship but during those early phases I am judging the guy closely for whether or not I want to invest my emotions into him.
Am I a little over zealous? Yep! But you know I have also never been wrong and my guy is pretty much dead on accurate with this stuff. I look back on my good relationships and you know, the guy was never updating his pics on a dating website.
I am a bit believer in monogamy from day one. you date one person, for a day, a week, a month and day by day you are with that person and I find is really disrespectful and a huge turn off if someone doesn't treat me with that same respect. That way of dating is not for everyone, sure, but with this guy I was pretty clear on my expectations and he'd gassed to me about how he'd never do that stuff so he lied.
I feel a bit like he either got mad at being caught out OR he has a little kids ego.
Signed Up: Jul 28, 2016
Comments: 4222 · Posts: 6474 · Topics: 83
Comments: 4222 · Posts: 6474 · Topics: 83
I have dated a few Aries and they do move fast. VERY fast lol. I think it's just up to you to pull the reigns in that's all.
Let him talk as much about the future with you as he wants, but you can still lead him down the path very slowly.
Let him talk as much about the future with you as he wants, but you can still lead him down the path very slowly.
what made you cry ? the things he said to you or the fact that you believed all his ooze and fell for it until you saw his pictures were updated ?
Totally made me cry!
he's a douchebag and you are free thank god to move on and find someone real
some people when they are caught try very hard to turn things around at the person who "caught" them - some sort of pathetic defense mechanism on their part
get over it - it won't take long
Posted by MondayMorningyou got it - we can feel it when something is wrong but it might take a little time to "show" ... it sounds like either empty words, or he just wanted to keep you on the hook, or whatever it was he is gone now and you know how he is - not man enough to own up to his own crap and that's not what you want anyway
@librasetting He's 39.
@libraloveshim Ach, I know my temper is quick to be suspicious, and I should have reacted in a calmer not accusatory way - but at the same time - there is not that much to regret because it was over from the moment he did that. Once aroused my suspicions aren't going to go away
What I want is a guy who's only interested in me and only me from day one. I know this might be a lot to ask, but we all want what we want huh? I know I give a lot in return to people I care about and offer them the same back.
During an actual relationship I am really not a jealous or suspicious woman. Never looked in a guy's phone or checked his email and actually have never been cheated on when in a committed relationship but during those early phases I am judging the guy closely for whether or not I want to invest my emotions into him.
Am I a little over zealous? Yep! But you know I have also never been wrong and my guy is pretty much dead on accurate with this stuff. I look back on my good relationships and you know, the guy was never updating his pics on a dating website.
I am a bit believer in monogamy from day one. you date one person, for a day, a week, a month and day by day you are with that person and I find is really disrespectful and a huge turn off if someone doesn't treat me with that same respect. That way of dating is not for everyone, sure, but with this guy I was pretty clear on my expectations and he'd gassed to me about how he'd never do that stuff so he lied.
I feel a bit like he either got mad at being caught out OR he has a little kids ego.
Posted by tctaIt was that I believed all the crap that made me crywhat made you cry ? the things he said to you or the fact that you believed all his ooze and fell for it until you saw his pictures were updated ?
Totally made me cry!
he's a douchebag and you are free thank god to move on and find someone real
some people when they are caught try very hard to turn things around at the person who "caught" them - some sort of pathetic defense mechanism on their part
get over it - it won't take longclick to expand
I am pretty much known for believing what people say which is why I act with caution and monitor people's actions to check they measure up. I can handle getting abused and insulted, but coming from this person who'd spent time being so gentle and loving to me it was jarring.
You're right, I will get over it quickly. To be honest even without the other stuff, who wants to date someone who handles a breakup like that. I mean, he's 39 years old and within 10 minutes he'd deleted me on everything. Total teenage weirdness
The two Aries men I dated; one for 6 years and the other for 2 years both "looked" calm when we went our separate ways. It was after the break up that had me in tears (of laughter ofc). They were both petty AF smh. I'm trying to move on with my life after trying to get closure and they would just talk shit about me on social media sites. Like really? Y'all are grown, act grown.
Posted by MondayMorningfor sure - total weirdnessPosted by tctaIt was that I believed all the crap that made me crywhat made you cry ? the things he said to you or the fact that you believed all his ooze and fell for it until you saw his pictures were updated ?
Totally made me cry!
he's a douchebag and you are free thank god to move on and find someone real
some people when they are caught try very hard to turn things around at the person who "caught" them - some sort of pathetic defense mechanism on their part
get over it - it won't take long
I can handle getting abused and insulted, but coming from this person who'd spent time being so gentle and loving to me it was jarring.
You're right, I will get over it quickly. To be honest even without the other stuff, who wants to date someone who handles a breakup like that. I mean, he's 39 years old and within 10 minutes he'd deleted me on everything. Total teenage weirdnessclick to expand
next time be more cautious in believing someone who professes so much so soon - it takes a long time to really get to know someone to the point that it is decided to commit with real love - for the first few months it's just a chemical smoke screen and warfare lol
Posted by SugarandSpunkPetty! that is the perfect word for it.
The two Aries men I dated; one for 6 years and the other for 2 years both "looked" calm when we went our separate ways. It was after the break up that had me in tears (of laughter ofc). They were both petty AF smh. I'm trying to move on with my life after trying to get closure and they would just talk shit about me on social media sites. Like really? Y'all are grown, act grown.
I leave without saying a word and your pretty much non existent after. I also don't talk shit after wish I could say the same for my ex's.
To be honest the conversation wasn't my finest moment. I was pretty angry. We'd agreed neither of us would be on dating sites and I was pretty emotional
I messaged him and ended it and he took a few hours to reply (he usually replies instantly) and when he did he just said "ok fine, thanks for being honest" and he deleted me off everything right then, unfriended etc. Really abrupt and cold and nothing like the person I knew.
I was going to not say anything, but told him how much his behavior hurt me and that I felt he had been different and weird with me for a couple of days. He said it was in my imagination and he'd been busy in meetings and he had done nothing wrong. He said he'd been sick the night before and that was why he hadn't called. He said I had upset him and it was completely uncalled for and that he didn't say or do anything bad. Totally playing innocent. Then he said he'd deleted everything to do with me and hoped next time I met someone I'd relax and that it was obvious I shouldn't be dating in my paranoid state of mind. The out of nowhere said I could think about losing some weight.
At this point I actually called him out on the dating site thing and said it was weird that on the day he had no time to contact me because he was SO busy at work, he had miraculously found time to go onto a dating site a couple of times and update his photos, and how crazy I must be to imagine all this.
He never replied at all to that.
So I guess he had lost interest, gone to update his profile and look for someone new and then got angry / indignant because he didn't think I'd notice and he was going to blame it on me imagining things
I messaged him and ended it and he took a few hours to reply (he usually replies instantly) and when he did he just said "ok fine, thanks for being honest" and he deleted me off everything right then, unfriended etc. Really abrupt and cold and nothing like the person I knew.
I was going to not say anything, but told him how much his behavior hurt me and that I felt he had been different and weird with me for a couple of days. He said it was in my imagination and he'd been busy in meetings and he had done nothing wrong. He said he'd been sick the night before and that was why he hadn't called. He said I had upset him and it was completely uncalled for and that he didn't say or do anything bad. Totally playing innocent. Then he said he'd deleted everything to do with me and hoped next time I met someone I'd relax and that it was obvious I shouldn't be dating in my paranoid state of mind. The out of nowhere said I could think about losing some weight.
At this point I actually called him out on the dating site thing and said it was weird that on the day he had no time to contact me because he was SO busy at work, he had miraculously found time to go onto a dating site a couple of times and update his photos, and how crazy I must be to imagine all this.
He never replied at all to that.
So I guess he had lost interest, gone to update his profile and look for someone new and then got angry / indignant because he didn't think I'd notice and he was going to blame it on me imagining things
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