Is it possible he changes his mind?

I have been with this Aries (venus in Taurus) for six months now, and he's pretty much been the greatest boyfriend. But oh man, stubborn. Stubborn to the point he's nearly died twice because he wouldn't go to the doctor. Like seriously, wow, even by my Scorp standards this guy digs his heels in and that's about it.

Since the day we met, I have probably been his weakness. He'll go to the doctor if I tell him he has to. He'll amend little things to suit me. If I say I like his sweater, he buys 5 more in different colors. He bends to me at times for sure because it's obvious he wants to make me happy. And in terms of the relationship, he is about as good as it gets. He's always there for me, so attentive, so affectionate, so loving, so sweet. He wants to be my knight in shining armor. He wants to fix my IT problems or buy me a special chair so my back doesn't get sore or cook for me if I am sick.

Emotional...he is NOT...getting an emotional conversation out of him is like wrestling a crocodile, but I never minded because he expresses his love by doing stuff for me and with his attention and warmth. He is loving, and when I get emotional, he loves it because he says I am like he wishes he could be. He's on my side, no matter what the situation and we get on so well. Always smiling and laughing and having fun. We are just two people happy.

How he feels about me? He says he thinks I am the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. He says he loves everything about me. He acts like the sun rises and sets in me. I've never had a moment's doubt on that. This is the guy who wants to come over when I am sick to tell me I look beautiful and to say, "tell me how I can be useful".

So the problem is, while we've had the usual fun conversations about growing old together, a few weeks ago he hinted in conversation that he didn't see a future with me, or more to the point with anyone and had no idea what he wanted long term. He clearly didn't want to have this conversation (because he knew I'd walk away) but when I pressed him over time he did admit that's not in the same place as me (committing to a relationship with permanence) and he doesn't know if he will EVER be and he might be wasting my time.

So as predicted, I ended it (and was truly devastated too but how can I live with that?!).

He's miserable. I am miserable. But I can't live with the idea that someone is saying they're not hopeful for a future that might include me. It's not about a promise, it's about an intention.

And so he's messaging me that he misses me, but changing nothing, and he's trying to see me as hard as he can. He says to say goodbye.

I just want to know, is there a chance time apart changes his mind? Should I go and meet him and talk about this face to face?

I feel like he's making a really bad decision here, but like I said he has major history of that because his will is stronger than his ability to reason emotionally and I think he'd just decided before he met me that he was going to have no ties for a few years. Ultimately, we're already IN a committed and loving relationships but I don't know how I am supposed to feel happy in it knowing that I am not part of his five year plan.

Is your biological clock ticking? What’s the problem? Why not to wait and see? The way you describing it it’s a dream came trough...

How is sex btw?

Umm... you wouldn’t happen to know his other placements...

Asking for myself.

@gemitati its the best sex either of us had ever had

@sunsetvirgo he is sun Aries, Moon Gemini, Mercury Aries, Venus Taurus, Mars in Leo

@roosagicorn yes, he asked me if I wanted to go steady too. But you know what you say is half right and then a million other people would say "when he tells you he doesn't want commitment, believe him" so I feel a bit like either way I turn out to be a fool.

Posted by AlaniaB

@gemitati its the best sex either of us had ever had

@sunsetvirgo he is sun Aries, Moon Gemini, Mercury Aries, Venus Taurus, Mars in Leo

@roosagicorn yes, he asked me if I wanted to go steady too. But you know what you say is half right and then a million other people would say "when he tells you he doesn't want commitment, believe him" so I feel a bit like either way I turn out to be a fool.

He isn’t going anywhere! Stop worrying. Keep daring...good luck.

Listen to Roo!

She is an Aries whisperer...👍

Posted by Timon

Posted by AlaniaB

@gemitati its the best sex either of us had ever had

@sunsetvirgo he is sun Aries, Moon Gemini, Mercury Aries, Venus Taurus, Mars in Leo

@roosagicorn yes, he asked me if I wanted to go steady too. But you know what you say is half right and then a million other people would say "when he tells you he doesn't want commitment, believe him" so I feel a bit like either way I turn out to be a fool.

😱😱😱Are you dating my ex? He has the exact same placements. All of the ones you listed. Damn!

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And how did that go—? xx

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by AlaniaB

@gemitati its the best sex either of us had ever had

@sunsetvirgo he is sun Aries, Moon Gemini, Mercury Aries, Venus Taurus, Mars in Leo

@roosagicorn yes, he asked me if I wanted to go steady too. But you know what you say is half right and then a million other people would say "when he tells you he doesn't want commitment, believe him" so I feel a bit like either way I turn out to be a fool.

Sometime you decide something, but later on it changes. What I’ve learned about life is to take it as it comes. Live for the moment. I have planned 3 lives okay 4 and none of them came true. The Aries was the closest and longest.. and ironically the one with no planning. Aries was so in love with me that when the time came of marriage/children etc when I was ready.. he gave me the commitment, the kids etc. he would have never left me. What you are describing is how an Aries acts when they love you. You run at 6 months? I’d give it more time.. see where it leads.

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You know this is such good advice. My sister said the same thing..."this man obviously loves you and shows it to you, why do you need him to say what he wants in the future, some people don't do that" but maybe this is a Scorpio thing. I love him but I've also never told him because I was waiting for him to say it first (I might be waiting a lot of years). I hope that when I meet him that he says he doesn't want to lose me and we make it up. I can't imagine either of us being as happy with anyone else.

Posted by Arieschick92

I’m an Aries and if he’s anything like me.. Scorpios are our absolute kryptonite. There is truly no stronger bond although cancer is a close second. He doesn’t want to lose you. He’s probably just going through something. Let him deal with it and rest assured that he’ll reuturn.

I really hope so. I think I have always been so secure in our relationship but today I just need to hear him say "I really don't want to lose you". With him though, I often have to tell him what to say before he says it. He's childlike with this stuff (which I love)

Posted by Timon

My advice is not to push him and let him come around. It seems he really likes you and you like him. Why not just enjoy your time together?

Oh man, I wish I was better at that! I always question everything.

thank you everybody, you were so helpful. I'll try and take all this advice for our meeting next week.

Posted by Timon

My advice is not to push him and let him come around. It seems he really likes you and you like him. Why not just enjoy your time together?

Right—

And if you need to say it...SAY IT or bite your elbows as if you could reach it! Lol

I don’t know why you have to put labels on it or plan out where things are going. I kinda understand how he feels a bit but not sure what it is. I have the same thing with my Scorpio and there have been other Scorpios on here asking the same question. I thought maybe it’s because Aries and Scorpio open up in different ways, so neither really feel the other is opening up. Scorpios will come across as secretive, not a bad thing. What Aries kinda want sometimes is direction, what is it you want? The pace might have to be quicker. I’m not sure myself, I love my Scorpio but it’s not like I feel like we open up loads to each other. Her friend the other week asked me why we weren’t living together, I said I don’t think she wants that. And her friend said she does, but she finds it hard to trust and that I wasn’t trying hard enough... but it’s what I want, to live together, but she seems not ready, so I don’t know what to believe. Especially when her friend said she was talking about it.. but she seems happy living with her friends.. this type of conversation seems difficult to have.. whereas other women, it would be easy

The weird thing is.. I cant say she doesn’t open up, she is honest and direct with me, and sometimes it feels like she’s always making the moves.. whenever I make moves, it feels like she can’t do it, then she makes moves and I’m good to go along.. I can’t describe it! It seems like we don’t connect, but then I think we do, it feels both at the same time. I think she’s very inpredictable.

The thing is, Scorpios want to talk about who people are, Aries want to talk about dreams, so do you say what you want?

Okay. I texted him today that I missed him, and he replied "I miss you too". He asked me if I was okay and if I still wanted to see him in a few days. I said I did, if he wanted to see me. He said "Of course! Take it as a given that I will always want to see you". So I said, "Okay, but you should know, I really regret what I said the other day and breaking up isn't what I want. So I'd like to work it out, if you want to". And he replied "See me Thursday (insert kiss face".

Ugh, does this mean it's a "no"? It's so unlike him not to just give a straight answer.