Libra guy trying to win an Aries gal. Help me?

This topic was created in the Aries forum by LibraMan123 on Sunday, January 5, 2014 and has 82 replies.
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Hi!
So I got is Aries girls's phone number after just meeting her months ago, persisted with text messages and phone calls even after inconsistent responses (I played it cool, and spaced them out). I would get responses, but all late usually. Oh yeah, she is a workaholic and is always busy with school and work-- I appreciate that. Anyway, nailed her down for a few good phone conversations and we talked all night. Awesome stuff. We had a first date, but, it was a little icy for some reason. The communication was building great before the date and we both discussed looked into astrological stuff and noticed that astromatch.net out us at a perfect 11 love match. Things seemed great, but I don't know why I was shy on that date and I'm afraid I made things slightly awkward. I suspect maybe because I'm surprised by how much I like her so soon after us starting to get to know each other (admittedly, I was chasing her at first because she was hot, but now I'm nervous due to actually really loving her mind and heart too!). Anyway, I want to try and salvage things, but I'm afraid of going all in and gushing about these feelings I think I might have for her so soon--I don't want to scare her off by coming on so strong. Me, the guy who past girls said had a problem with commitment, wants to bare all I've got to his girl already. I think this is why I was nervous on our date--I actually like her instead of just wanting to hook up with her! Haha. Anyway, i never dated an Aries chick before. And tips that could help me tread carefully would be very appreciated. I don't want to lose my cool, but I want her to know I still have heat for her. I'm afraid that if I lay I out how passionately I feel, it will be too much and will push her away.
Oh yeah, she already had a 2nd date slotted for us to go skiing with her and her friends before our first date even took place. The other day, she texted me to let me know that she wasn't able to get off work for it! I need to get back in the game! Thanks so much!
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Posted by LibraMan123
(admittedly, I was chasing her at first because she was hot, but now I'm nervous due to actually really loving her mind and heart too!)


Do try to wake up. One date and you're already building fantasies in your head?
Play it cool, enjoy her and your dates and do NOT pour all this emotion unto her. She will run a mile. Keep it fun and light for the time being, be a little challenging - don't play hot or cold but don't be a doormat either...get some friction going...just the right amount.
Do outdoor sport events and low key outings, just enough to get to know her and have some competition..it will energize her. The skiing sounds really good.
But first get a hold of yourself.
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Haha, okay, well "love" is a strong word. I do want to let her know that I'm still interested though. I don't feel like I made as strong of a case on the date as I had been doing on the phone with her.
Thanks for the feedback. I'm a passionate dude, but yeah, thanks for slapping some sense into me. Very appreciated!
Aries like direct communication, right? Maybe I could just tell her I'm interested in her, while keeping my cool.
Maybe I don't know how she feels, and maybe that's my prob. Again, I don't think I should pin her to the wall with questions though.
Skiing would have been good, but the plans we had were scrapped....
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Friction? Just the right amount? Would you please give me examples? Thanks again!! smile
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Posted by Damnata
Posted by LibraMan123
(admittedly, I was chasing her at first because she was hot, but now I'm nervous due to actually really loving her mind and heart too!)


Do try to wake up. One date and you're already building fantasies in your head?
Play it cool, enjoy her and your dates and do NOT pour all this emotion unto her. She will run a mile. Keep it fun and light for the time being, be a little challenging - don't play hot or cold but don't be a doormat either...get some friction going...just the right amount.
Do outdoor sport events and low key outings, just enough to get to know her and have some competition..it will energize her. The skiing sounds really good.
But first get a hold of yourself.
click to expand


lmao yes to this!!
you are too funny girl
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I think she already sees you're interested in her. No need to over do it at this point..for now. Keep the mushy feelings for later.
If there's one sun signs that always understands when someone is into them, is Aries. They pick up vibes easily. And they don't like to verbalize stuff on the emotional front, not before you already make it to the couple phase.
It's really easy, don't overthink it. Just enjoy yourselves, create good memories, have fun and see where it goes. And don't go flaky Libra on her...you guys sometimes come off strong just to go back to pondering few months down the line. It's confusing as fuck.
What I meant by friction is difficult to put into words. Think of when you meet someone and you're so infatuated with everything about them, you like everything they say, you like their bands, their movies, everything. Don't do that, Aries prize individuality in someone.
One thing with my Aries friend, she enjoys storytelling...creating things, talking about things. On her first date with her bf they described how their perfect house would look like. They enjoy banter as well so let your Libra wit out.
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Posted by bkbella86
Posted by Damnata
Posted by LibraMan123
(admittedly, I was chasing her at first because she was hot, but now I'm nervous due to actually really loving her mind and heart too!)


Do try to wake up. One date and you're already building fantasies in your head?
Play it cool, enjoy her and your dates and do NOT pour all this emotion unto her. She will run a mile. Keep it fun and light for the time being, be a little challenging - don't play hot or cold but don't be a doormat either...get some friction going...just the right amount.
Do outdoor sport events and low key outings, just enough to get to know her and have some competition..it will energize her. The skiing sounds really good.
But first get a hold of yourself.


lmao yes to this!!
you are too funny girl
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One day I will built a large enough pen to host all the rams in the world Big Grin
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Aries girl here! Damnata is right. Take some time to get to know her. If she's smart then she's already picked up on you digging her, so no need to worry about that to much.
I say take it slow and enjoy what you have. We Aries like to do the chasing so if it's too easy we'll get bored and move on. Don't play hot and cold as Damnata said just take it slow... and trust me in the end it will be a beautiful thing for the both of you smile.
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Yes, and don't do the Libra laziness...where you guys think your charm is enough. Get proactive, settle dates. If the skiing fell through for now and she really wanted to go, schedule it for another day Big Grin
Just let your inner child loose...relationship etiquettes bore Aries. For them, if things turn out ok, they do and if they don't..you both still had fun so no harm there.
It really takes the pressure off dating.
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*takes the microphone and does an "eye of the tiger" cover" Big Grin
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Posted by LibraMan123
I don't feel like I made as strong of a case on the date as I had been doing on the phone with her.


Forgot to address this. There is no need to make a strong case when genuine chemistry is involved. And that's something you either have or you don't so..again don't overthink it. Don't even need to verbalize anything, you just grab them...although if the tension is right they will jump on you first.
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Posted by LilyTree
Can someone hand Damanta a mic just so she can drop it? #NAILEDit


I love how you misspell my nickname: "amanta" is mistress in my country so I really like where this is going. you dirty, dirty gurl.
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Posted by LilyTree
Can someone hand Damanta a mic just so she can drop it? #NAILEDit


right! she knows us
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Thanks everyone for the suggestions. It means a lot. This kind of feedback helps he "people pleaser" aspect my my libra zodiac, and even better, informs me to NOT bend over backwards to accommodate her. I'm naturally an individual and I can also naturally be quite selfish, so I will follow more of my instincts. Haha.
But seriously, she is very busy with school and two jobs. I read online to 'never stop texting or calling her,' while I also read that the last thing you want to do is smother her. I'm trying to keep good checks and balances.
I appreciate the natural chemistry part, but because we don't have much time to spend together, I want to get things right until we have more time to click together.
Thanks for the very useful feedback. Which females here have favorable interactions with libra men? Like with any population, there are mixed feelings. Just curious. Thanks!
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lol such a typical Libra boy...
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Posted by tiziani
Going to have to disagree with Damnata on this one. Just be yourself and see where it takes you is my advice.


hihi, I knew you'd find your way to this topic. In all honesty between the two of us, you dated an Aries female.
I stand behind what I said. You'd really enjoy meeting my Aries friend Tongue.
I showed her this topic, because she's lurking around here anyway but never posts.
"But, I'm a sloth...I'm too lazy to type on forums" bahaha
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Be yourself, do not smother... Idk, imo I appreciate a person who makes themselves comfortable being who they are rather than trying to comfort the situation, it makes sense to do so although it doesn't always work with the relationship and the person trying to please... be yourself... that's all, everyone is different, many possibilities..
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by IridescenceMorpha
Be yourself, do not smother... Idk, imo I appreciate a person who makes themselves comfortable being who they are rather than trying to comfort the situation, it makes sense to do so although it doesn't always work with the relationship and the person trying to please... be yourself... that's all, everyone is different, many possibilities..


+1
Cardinal vibe.
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Yes!! Currently dealing with a Libra friend and being in his mind is what I'm understanding about Winking
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Posted by xtina
Aries girl here! Damnata is right. Take some time to get to know her. If she's smart then she's already picked up on you digging her, so no need to worry about that to much.
I say take it slow and enjoy what you have. We Aries like to do the chasing so if it's too easy we'll get bored and move on. Don't play hot and cold as Damnata said just take it slow... and trust me in the end it will be a beautiful thing for the both of you smile.


Ahhh the chase! Yes, true that xtina. Too many texts will make her feel like you're clingy. Mushy rhetoric and strong feelings too soon seems desperate. Just play it cool and enjoy the newness. This is the fun part, no need to rush through it.
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Posted by champranger
Posted by Damnata

What I meant by friction is difficult to put into words. Think of when you meet someone and you're so infatuated with everything about them, you like everything they say, you like their bands, their movies, everything. Don't do that, Aries prize individuality in someone.


Also, I think OP should also suggest places to go, and let the Aries make the final decisions. Too much going with the flow may give off the impression that you lack on hobbies and interests.

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This. Not gonna lie, I got rather bored of this aspect with the last Libra I dated because he rarely had any ideas on his own. I was always the one deciding. That, coupled with the lack of interest (on his part) toward the end made is SO one sided, it was irritating.
And like the others said, be yourself. It sucks when a person's true self comes out later on. You're misleading someone by being someone you are not. You're guaranteed failure if you go in trying too hard or trying to be someone else.
Also, with the bit of you being shy in person vs over the phone, you shouldn't stress. I went through that with that last Libra as well. We communicated via text quite a bit before seeing eachother face to face. His behavior was kind of shy and timid, but I could tell he was interested and didn't really see it as a turn off. His body language told me enough so it wasn't really a turn off, more like "aw, look at this. He's being all shy."
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Posted by ami
Posted by xtina
Aries girl here! Damnata is right. Take some time to get to know her. If she's smart then she's already picked up on you digging her, so no need to worry about that to much.
I say take it slow and enjoy what you have. We Aries like to do the chasing so if it's too easy we'll get bored and move on. Don't play hot and cold as Damnata said just take it slow... and trust me in the end it will be a beautiful thing for the both of you smile.


Ahhh the chase! Yes, true that xtina. Too many texts will make her feel like you're clingy. Mushy rhetoric and strong feelings too soon seems desperate. Just play it cool and enjoy the newness. This is the fun part, no need to rush through it.
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This as well. I had a guy recently start off waaaay too fast. I blamed it on my Taurus Venus though.
He's all WOO LET'S GO OUT ASAP EVEN THOUGH I BARELY KNOW YOU, I'M MOVING UBER FAST BECAUSE I'M DESPERATE!!
I'm all, lol no. Fook, dude.
And no, not all Aries like to do the chasing, ladies. I've always been the opposite. But I have a ton o water in my chart, so yeah.
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rocky you even look like my aries friend IRL
watery rams.
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Posted by Damnata
rocky you even look like my aries friend IRL
watery rams.


...a fluffy pig ram?
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I remember a photo of you Tongue
Not that fluffy Tongue
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Look, it's spider-ram-pig, spider-ram-pig.
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...I've never posted pictures of myself here. :/
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Then I'm remembering it wrong.
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Probably so, haha.
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Yep, Outdoor, athletic or competitive dates are good for Aries girls. Anything that can let their competitive side show. Even if it's witty banter.
Libra's flakiness may rival Aries'.

Also, when I see rockyroadicecream's picture, i think of a delicious floating marshmallow ram.
With bacon accents.
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The horns remind me of cinnamon buns.
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Wow, thank you all. So much good advice.
Hmm, being myself? But that seems wayy to easy, haha. I clearly need to complicate things. I analyze and overthink.
Here is a part 2 question, is it a turn off to Aries females to have a guy open up about their own short comings and problems? I ask because a part of being myself right now is acknowledging a tough time I am having with some personal stuff. On the one hand, opening up could demonstrate a good trust that could be an important part of a good friendship (for starters), but on the other hand, I am concerned that Aries isn't the mothering type and such a display could be a turn off. The catch 22 is that confiding in her would help me to be myself more. Hmmmm . . . .
It's true what you suggest, I really don't care what we do together for the most part, hahah. It will take extra effort for me to take the lead and suggest things to do.
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^^^
Well.... You said in your OP:
..."And tips that could help me tread carefully would be very appreciated.."
Your part 2 question doesn't help you do this - too much too soon :/
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by LibraMan123
Wow, thank you all. So much good advice.
Hmm, being myself? But that seems wayy to easy, haha. I clearly need to complicate things. I analyze and overthink.
Here is a part 2 question, is it a turn off to Aries females to have a guy open up about their own short comings and problems? I ask because a part of being myself right now is acknowledging a tough time I am having with some personal stuff. On the one hand, opening up could demonstrate a good trust that could be an important part of a good friendship (for starters), but on the other hand, I am concerned that Aries isn't the mothering type and such a display could be a turn off. The catch 22 is that confiding in her would help me to be myself more. Hmmmm . . . .
It's true what you suggest, I really don't care what we do together for the most part, hahah. It will take extra effort for me to take the lead and suggest things to do.



You're going to screw this up. So just enjoy the ride.
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+1
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To follow up, and I know I shouldn't try to follow a paint-by-numbers approach, I found this quote on an Aries woman profile:
"It??s not a good idea to bond with the Aries woman by revealing your vulnerabilities. Some women like to ???mother?? men, but that won't work here. The Aries woman wants a hero and many like man's men. "
I'm not looking for mothering, but to get to know me is to take certain struggles into account that I can't quite yet talk about from coming out the other end. Typically, I like to put my best foot forward and be the confident libra that I am, but I don't want to come off as pushing her away by not revealing my true self which includes taking I certain things into consideration.
It's easy for me to avoid conflict in my own life, but by owning up to it, it could be brave, so that's good I guess. Don't filter thigs, Aries gals, would it be a turn off to have a guy dish about his issues?
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Lol thanks . Just saw the past responses. Well, I guess accepting that takes he pressure off me lol.
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Any shortcomings on your part will reveal themselves while dating so you really don't need to buy a bilboard to advertise this. I'd recommend against it.
Whatever happens from that point on is up to the two people involved.
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Weee...I am famous Big Grin.
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Posted by LibraMan123

It's easy for me to avoid conflict in my own life, but by owning up to it, it could be brave, so that's good I guess. Don't filter thigs, Aries gals, would it be a turn off to have a guy dish about his issues?


To the first, brave to an Aries girl is more of a physical act than emotional.... to the second, only if she's into you, which she made clear she wasn't.
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Libras and thinking is a bad combo, haha.
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Not all of us can be intuitive Aries.
I never go on a date without friends holding massive cardboards behind the poor bastard I'm with.
I feel like a news anchor reading from scripts.
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Haha wtf
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I'm used to interacting on a friendly level so when the big bad wolf of dating knock on my door, I'm confused. My Aries friend came up with the cardboard idea.
If I dated a Libra I'd have to place them higher, just in case he'll climb on his fence.
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Ah, gotcha
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Haha, I like he billboard quote. Good one!
There are some elements of a tough crowd in here!
There is some really good feedback here, thanks! I guess the big deal is that my liking her more than I imagined really threw me off. I guess it is the classic befuddled kind of crush thing that makes me tongue tied with my usual charm.. I appreciate the inside track.
For the record, she hasn't made anything clear about not being interested in me. She said that we had a good first date and that she wants to get to know me more and see me again. I suppose I'm just being impatient. Trust me, I'm he last guy who ever wants to fast track something like this. I think that's a part of why I'm thrown off.
Thanks!
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Also, I get the feeling that she isn't into verbal flattery and smooth talk. Not to say that what I'm saying is. Anything but sincere, but it doesn't seem to land well with her. I don't know any Aries gals. Is his just her or so etching that might be relatable to the lot of you? I personally appreciate it very much, and I believe most liberals do. Thanks!
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Fake shit doesn't fly with us. It may with shallow Libras, but not Aries. We pick up on that bs and it comes off as lying.
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Yeah, make sure not to get carried away with the flattery or you'll see her rolling her eyes so hard, you'll have to call for an exorcism.
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Posted by LibraMan123
To follow up, and I know I shouldn't try to follow a paint-by-numbers approach, I found this quote on an Aries woman profile:
"It??s not a good idea to bond with the Aries woman by revealing your vulnerabilities. Some women like to ???mother?? men, but that won't work here. The Aries woman wants a hero and many like man's men. "
I'm not looking for mothering, but to get to know me is to take certain struggles into account that I can't quite yet talk about from coming out the other end. Typically, I like to put my best foot forward and be the confident libra that I am, but I don't want to come off as pushing her away by not revealing my true self which includes taking I certain things into consideration.
It's easy for me to avoid conflict in my own life, but by owning up to it, it could be brave, so that's good I guess. Don't filter thigs, Aries gals, would it be a turn off to have a guy dish about his issues?


Geez..if you have to do all this just to date, then maybe this is not for you. It shouldn't take all this to "just" go on a date with someone. This is tooo much work already. Just be yourself and if that's not good enough, then it wasn't meant to be..real simple
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True, llb4life. While true, there wouldn't be much need to discuss things in forums like this.
Champ ranger, oops, what I said wasn't supposed to be two sentences. Typing on a tablet has its drawbacks! Read the ''anything but sincere" part as if it were a part of the past sentence and it will make sense. In short, I'm usually good with being charming, but now that I find myself wanting to dish out compliments that have my weight behind them, I hesitate because I don't think she is into kind words. It is ironic because while others eat it up with minimal effort on my part, my being very genuine with her seems to fall flat, haha. It is these kinds of contrasts that brought me here.
Good advice. Thanks tiziani.

My big thing is making sure that I don't blow her up wig texts. I send her a good long response to her last text, and won't text her again until I hear back. She always comes back apologizing and says she feels horrible about being so busy and whatnot. She is genuine about it all, and continues the convo. I just have to be patient. Talkin to you friendly Aries has helped me to get the freak out slapped out of me so I can keep my cool.
I guess I haven't really liked anyone so much so fast. It has knocked the cool out of me.
Anyone ever see astromatch.net before?
Does it seem pretty legit to you? Her and I scored a perfect 11 love match on there, haha.
Has any Aries here had a good thing with a libra before? Any experiences you'd like to share?
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You're dumb if you're to keep bringing up a love match as a serious indicator if this will work.
Things were fine with Libras for me.
...until they changed their minds and took off (typical chase, catch, and release). You guys think too much, you fuck yourselves over in love, and none of you will be happy until you stop looking for something better and learn to appreciate what you have.
The fact that you're already overanalzying things isn't promising.
I think that, generally, things with Libra guys and Aries females CAN work out, assuming both are emotionally mature. My experience has been emotionally retarded Libra mama's boys who turned a decent thing into a total trainwreck with their cakey eaty bs.
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