Maturity
This topic was created in the Aries forum by Lady_M on Friday, March 27, 2009 and has 18 replies.
Aries Males specifically...
I understand aries is the first sign of the zodiac and they may come off as jovial and child like but...
When do they mature??
My younger brother is an aries as well as my father. My mother is having many issues with him as well as his teachers who say he is too immature for his age. He is an intelligent young man but all of that is clouded with rubbish. He is to be graduating this year and going to off to college and my mother is freaking out because he doesnt take life seriously AT ALL... with all the temptations and fun that goes along with college, will he be able to control himself and find the balance necessary to have a good time but understand what he is there for??
My father whose birth date is a day before my brothers is the opposite, he is extremely stoic and stern all the time. His moon is in cap, but my brother is the opposite and has a taurus moon. He will be turning 18 on April 16th.
My mother gave me the task of knocking some sense into him, because he listens to know one and everyone else has pretty much washed there hands of him, because of his behavior.
I understand aries is the first sign of the zodiac and they may come off as jovial and child like but...
When do they mature??
My younger brother is an aries as well as my father. My mother is having many issues with him as well as his teachers who say he is too immature for his age. He is an intelligent young man but all of that is clouded with rubbish. He is to be graduating this year and going to off to college and my mother is freaking out because he doesnt take life seriously AT ALL... with all the temptations and fun that goes along with college, will he be able to control himself and find the balance necessary to have a good time but understand what he is there for??
My father whose birth date is a day before my brothers is the opposite, he is extremely stoic and stern all the time. His moon is in cap, but my brother is the opposite and has a taurus moon. He will be turning 18 on April 16th.
My mother gave me the task of knocking some sense into him, because he listens to know one and everyone else has pretty much washed there hands of him, because of his behavior.
Zen is right we do mature and love to do things our way. We're not going to stand listening to what other people want us to do; or we might listen and still do it our way. Like when I moved to Florida for College. I was the first in the whole history of my family to move so far away to go to college (first in my immediate to go to college). My dad of course did not want me to go, but that didn't stop me, I still went. I lived there for three years. Anyway, even though I'm Asian and you would assume that I want to be a doctor because my parents having been pushing me my whole life to be one, your wrong they only did that in elementary school 
. But I want to be a doctor because I want to be a doctor, and now my dad is trying to push me into other alternatives (i.e. nursing) because medical school would be too expensive. I told him no I want to be a doctor.
I know this can be applied to many people, but the more you push him to do something the less he's going want to do it. You're just going to have to ease back and let him do his own thing and hope it's the right thing. If he's been raised well he will. He will mature eventually.
Zen is right though we never really lose that immaturity, it's the child-like spirit and essence of the Aries. As much as I've tried to push that aspect of me out, it's always come back full-fledged and I've only learned to accept it. It's what has kept me happy and as Zen says regenerated my spirit. It's just who the Aries is and what makes us unique.
. But I want to be a doctor because I want to be a doctor, and now my dad is trying to push me into other alternatives (i.e. nursing) because medical school would be too expensive. I told him no I want to be a doctor.I know this can be applied to many people, but the more you push him to do something the less he's going want to do it. You're just going to have to ease back and let him do his own thing and hope it's the right thing. If he's been raised well he will. He will mature eventually.
Zen is right though we never really lose that immaturity, it's the child-like spirit and essence of the Aries. As much as I've tried to push that aspect of me out, it's always come back full-fledged and I've only learned to accept it. It's what has kept me happy and as Zen says regenerated my spirit. It's just who the Aries is and what makes us unique.
^ hey yo yo! what's up? how's the med-skooling coming along?
Anyway, to add to the main topic, aries achievement is not always planned, hell, 90% may not even be planned... adventurers just tend to run across a lot of people from all walks of life and random opportunities ... that they may or may not take advantage of. At the same time chasing after different dreams faster than some change underwear... extremely snappy decision are very common too...
The child-like spirit enables them to go on adventures without baggage, you gotta look at everything with a childlike wonder... not being so serious... if you run out of ideas or get stuck in a rutt, call someone with aries in their chart or gemini works too!
As for what his teachers say M... HAHAHAHA - brings back memories!
in preschool, cos of boredom and restlessness, I tended to finish my work fast and teachers thought I was a genius - lol but I just wanted to get the hell out... that carried on till I was about 11 and changed skools, then I made a conscious decision to bum... because I realised how people thinking you were a genius stopped you playing! Expectations were high... I carried that on for about 3yrs when I realised, playing didn't mean messing up your future --- again, being aries and with aries mercury has the added advantage of helping you think and act FAST ... I noticed that even though I passed my exams, I didn't necessarily study hard or even attend classes. In college, I would not always be in class, I have no idea what I was doing btw
I just hated structure... so instead of acting childishly when I got there, I just didn't go when I didn't feel like being there.
I still do that, I don't really pay 100% attention, or study every little line on a report... I just skim through things... put in loads of factors together while moving are any other arieses like this? big picture sort of thing?
Anyway, to add to the main topic, aries achievement is not always planned, hell, 90% may not even be planned... adventurers just tend to run across a lot of people from all walks of life and random opportunities ... that they may or may not take advantage of. At the same time chasing after different dreams faster than some change underwear... extremely snappy decision are very common too...
The child-like spirit enables them to go on adventures without baggage, you gotta look at everything with a childlike wonder... not being so serious... if you run out of ideas or get stuck in a rutt, call someone with aries in their chart or gemini works too!
As for what his teachers say M... HAHAHAHA - brings back memories!
in preschool, cos of boredom and restlessness, I tended to finish my work fast and teachers thought I was a genius - lol but I just wanted to get the hell out... that carried on till I was about 11 and changed skools, then I made a conscious decision to bum... because I realised how people thinking you were a genius stopped you playing! Expectations were high... I carried that on for about 3yrs when I realised, playing didn't mean messing up your future --- again, being aries and with aries mercury has the added advantage of helping you think and act FAST ... I noticed that even though I passed my exams, I didn't necessarily study hard or even attend classes. In college, I would not always be in class, I have no idea what I was doing btw
I just hated structure... so instead of acting childishly when I got there, I just didn't go when I didn't feel like being there.I still do that, I don't really pay 100% attention, or study every little line on a report... I just skim through things... put in loads of factors together while moving are any other arieses like this? big picture sort of thing?
Well I understand everyones thoughts. I personally think he will be fine, but my mother stresses out easily (shes a cancer).
Its not just his goals, ect...he has goals and everything he is doing is his decision. Yes, he wants to go to college and he has a major, etc. He just doesnt want to put forth the effort. This year was and still is a pivotal year for him and he realized, late, that he should've worked harder on his SAT's, etc and not played around b/c he did not get into his number one school of choice...he barely got into any school for that matter.
The main issue is his ability to make the right decisions. He is easily swayed and a folower so to speak. He can find himself into a lot of trouble going into the college atmosphere this way. As the young man that he is he cant always afford to do the stupid thing and expect things to be alright in the end...there are extenuating circumstances and often times the odds are stacked agaisnt before you even have a chance. My mother is just trying to convey this to him.
He is very hot headed, clear aries trait. He is stubborn and doesnt listen. He is at the point in life like most teenagers where they know everything. He is pretty disrespectful towards her and the others in the home, whom he depends on for his lively hood. There is nothing wrong with being young at heart and acting your age, its just theres a time and place for everything.
Well I will have a talk with him later on.
Thank You for the responses.
My mother told me all of our birth times once, but I dont remember. I did his chart quickly and I'm not sure if taurus is his moon with that birth time, but he does have an aqua rising.
Its not just his goals, ect...he has goals and everything he is doing is his decision. Yes, he wants to go to college and he has a major, etc. He just doesnt want to put forth the effort. This year was and still is a pivotal year for him and he realized, late, that he should've worked harder on his SAT's, etc and not played around b/c he did not get into his number one school of choice...he barely got into any school for that matter.
The main issue is his ability to make the right decisions. He is easily swayed and a folower so to speak. He can find himself into a lot of trouble going into the college atmosphere this way. As the young man that he is he cant always afford to do the stupid thing and expect things to be alright in the end...there are extenuating circumstances and often times the odds are stacked agaisnt before you even have a chance. My mother is just trying to convey this to him.
He is very hot headed, clear aries trait. He is stubborn and doesnt listen. He is at the point in life like most teenagers where they know everything. He is pretty disrespectful towards her and the others in the home, whom he depends on for his lively hood. There is nothing wrong with being young at heart and acting your age, its just theres a time and place for everything.
Well I will have a talk with him later on.
Thank You for the responses.
My mother told me all of our birth times once, but I dont remember. I did his chart quickly and I'm not sure if taurus is his moon with that birth time, but he does have an aqua rising.
Zen...
His teachers have been complaining about him the SAME EXACT complaints since kindergarten till now. He is too playful and he doesnt apply himself. He is very intelligent, but he just refuses to stop being the class clown or just shut up and listen.
My mother had a conference at the school the other day and most of his teachers said the same thing, they just dont know if he is ready for "the real world"... going away to college by himself.
I'm hoping it will all just click for him, but you never know...
His teachers have been complaining about him the SAME EXACT complaints since kindergarten till now. He is too playful and he doesnt apply himself. He is very intelligent, but he just refuses to stop being the class clown or just shut up and listen.
My mother had a conference at the school the other day and most of his teachers said the same thing, they just dont know if he is ready for "the real world"... going away to college by himself.
I'm hoping it will all just click for him, but you never know...
She is actually thinking about the military shaping him up to be a man.
From what I gather my father was never like this. He's done idiotic stuff as a kid and been a "know-it-all", but I guess he's never been the funny guy and pretty mature for his age.
From what I gather my father was never like this. He's done idiotic stuff as a kid and been a "know-it-all", but I guess he's never been the funny guy and pretty mature for his age.
Frankly M, he sounds like a lot of teenagers I know - apologies if it seems I'm making light of it, especially if odds are stacked against him. From his POV, Aries does not see that clearly into the future or past, it is about here and now plus the age thing too.
I went to college with a lot of people that didn't get it right the first time, they took offers from other colleges, they took extra classes, internships, apprenticeships or any other routes, sooner or later, everyone learns about consequences of not making the right decisions... at the right time.
Also a lot of people in college who tend to be easily swayed or appear to be followers, there is room for everyone in college I think.
One thing I learnt, college is very different from the after-college reality... some grow up before, during or after college...
If there is an element of him not doing the right course - maybe you could start with this, ask him why he wants those goals he wants? aries works better with logic, not sympathy or pointing out the mistakes they have made. You don't want anyone defensive or emotional... what does he actually enjoy doing? what else can he do? because his ego may even be holding him back from seeking help, he has to know it's ok his goals may not move in such a straight line...
I am currently dealing with a Capricorn family member with the same issue... has his own goals but get sidetracked by the need to earn money now instead of waiting till after college *Sighs* I take it you don't have any other brothers? I have 2 in their 20s who still pull the sort of thing you describe. I always somehow get pulled in to do ombundsman
Everyone will not transit smoothly to the next stage of life... we tend to have the habit of pissing off other family members without trying, I don't know the cure for that .
Good luck eitherway!
I went to college with a lot of people that didn't get it right the first time, they took offers from other colleges, they took extra classes, internships, apprenticeships or any other routes, sooner or later, everyone learns about consequences of not making the right decisions... at the right time.
Also a lot of people in college who tend to be easily swayed or appear to be followers, there is room for everyone in college I think.
One thing I learnt, college is very different from the after-college reality... some grow up before, during or after college...
If there is an element of him not doing the right course - maybe you could start with this, ask him why he wants those goals he wants? aries works better with logic, not sympathy or pointing out the mistakes they have made. You don't want anyone defensive or emotional... what does he actually enjoy doing? what else can he do? because his ego may even be holding him back from seeking help, he has to know it's ok his goals may not move in such a straight line...
I am currently dealing with a Capricorn family member with the same issue... has his own goals but get sidetracked by the need to earn money now instead of waiting till after college *Sighs* I take it you don't have any other brothers? I have 2 in their 20s who still pull the sort of thing you describe. I always somehow get pulled in to do ombundsman
Everyone will not transit smoothly to the next stage of life... we tend to have the habit of pissing off other family members without trying, I don't know the cure for that .
Good luck eitherway!
Oh and it sounds like someone needs to get serious with him too... how much responsibility has he been exposed to? does your mom spoil him?
The only help you can offer him is telling him about the options he has if he does NOT go to college. The idea of not going to college is bound to shake him. For him to come up to making plans or goals, then he must want to go... he just didn't realise the work involved... remember as an idealistic sign, arieses have this issue a lot, goals without details of the actual work involved. He has to know there are other options available to him... so he doesn't give up hope.
No matter what his attitude, you guys will still feel responsible of pointing out stuff to him - hence whatever happens, you've done your best by him. However, pointing out his mistakes or the obvious will definitely achieve the opposite of what your mom is trying to achieve... the teenage fragile ego can't take it not to add the aries one...
Is he really gonna go to college by himself or is he gonna have mummy stopping by ever so often to do his laundry - had guys like that in my college
was very weird indeed!
On another random note: he doesnt apply himself so teachers are still using that line? it was actually a pretty standard line that we used to get on our report cards. lol
I am lucky I have a taurus rising and a capricorn moon so I sometimes actually appear more serious than I actually am... teachers bought that crap a LOT... hell my boss buys it
The only help you can offer him is telling him about the options he has if he does NOT go to college. The idea of not going to college is bound to shake him. For him to come up to making plans or goals, then he must want to go... he just didn't realise the work involved... remember as an idealistic sign, arieses have this issue a lot, goals without details of the actual work involved. He has to know there are other options available to him... so he doesn't give up hope.
No matter what his attitude, you guys will still feel responsible of pointing out stuff to him - hence whatever happens, you've done your best by him. However, pointing out his mistakes or the obvious will definitely achieve the opposite of what your mom is trying to achieve... the teenage fragile ego can't take it not to add the aries one...
Is he really gonna go to college by himself or is he gonna have mummy stopping by ever so often to do his laundry - had guys like that in my college
was very weird indeed!On another random note: he doesnt apply himself so teachers are still using that line? it was actually a pretty standard line that we used to get on our report cards. lol
I am lucky I have a taurus rising and a capricorn moon so I sometimes actually appear more serious than I actually am... teachers bought that crap a LOT... hell my boss buys it
If he is typical and he is young > go through many mistakes before straightening out himself.
I speak with him logically, for I know no other way.
He knows the benefits. He has seen my time and school and what I have done with my life.
he is the only boy and I do feel that my mother has aided in his laziness and gotten him to this point, he hasnt been exposed to any real responsibility. He's never had a job or had to manage large amounts of money.
I feel he's like a 10 yr old stuck in an adult mans body. He's 6'4 250+ lbs!
He knows the benefits. He has seen my time and school and what I have done with my life.
he is the only boy and I do feel that my mother has aided in his laziness and gotten him to this point, he hasnt been exposed to any real responsibility. He's never had a job or had to manage large amounts of money.
I feel he's like a 10 yr old stuck in an adult mans body. He's 6'4 250+ lbs!
^LOL!
He knows the benefits. He has seen my time and school and what I have done with my life.
he is the only boy and I do feel that my mother has aided in his laziness and gotten him to this point, he hasnt been exposed to any real responsibility. He's never had a job or had to manage large amounts of money.
This sounds all too familiar as I have a similar mother too... it is especially worse if the compatibility with the father is not great. The father has almost no apparent involvement...
What I find works is actually talk to my mom about her role in all of this. No one knows the right way to raise kids, if one way doesn't work for all the kids or the children start to grow up, it is encouraged to revise methods, unfortunately loads of parents don't do this.
The thing is if your mom can't deal with him effectively, he may constantly be passed off on you as the mother could potentially be emotionally unavailable from dealing with the father, that has happened to me with my brothers. Do you have any idea how much that can potentially hold you back?! The more responsibly you live, the more you'll be expected to have an active role in mentoring and the less support they think the more independent child needs - double edged sword i guess.
What exactly have the teachers done in his time in school too, is another question... kids spend more of their lives with teachers than parents... mostly after skool, we go home to bed, then back in skool.
Instead of complaining about him, his energies could have been redirected maybe?... like make him class prefect, hall monitor, just to shove him in the front line of responsibility... i dunno...
EVERYONE has to take responsibility, the past has come to pass, what can be changed now?
That said, I believe there will always be families where all the siblings will not go the same route in life, we are go different ways. Gratitude to our parents don't necessarily... sooner or later we figure out things for ourselves.
He knows the benefits. He has seen my time and school and what I have done with my life.
he is the only boy and I do feel that my mother has aided in his laziness and gotten him to this point, he hasnt been exposed to any real responsibility. He's never had a job or had to manage large amounts of money.
This sounds all too familiar as I have a similar mother too... it is especially worse if the compatibility with the father is not great. The father has almost no apparent involvement...
What I find works is actually talk to my mom about her role in all of this. No one knows the right way to raise kids, if one way doesn't work for all the kids or the children start to grow up, it is encouraged to revise methods, unfortunately loads of parents don't do this.
The thing is if your mom can't deal with him effectively, he may constantly be passed off on you as the mother could potentially be emotionally unavailable from dealing with the father, that has happened to me with my brothers. Do you have any idea how much that can potentially hold you back?! The more responsibly you live, the more you'll be expected to have an active role in mentoring and the less support they think the more independent child needs - double edged sword i guess.
What exactly have the teachers done in his time in school too, is another question... kids spend more of their lives with teachers than parents... mostly after skool, we go home to bed, then back in skool.
Instead of complaining about him, his energies could have been redirected maybe?... like make him class prefect, hall monitor, just to shove him in the front line of responsibility... i dunno...
EVERYONE has to take responsibility, the past has come to pass, what can be changed now?
That said, I believe there will always be families where all the siblings will not go the same route in life, we are go different ways. Gratitude to our parents don't necessarily... sooner or later we figure out things for ourselves.
You are mature when you move out on your own and be responsible for your own money. Other than that, there seems to vbe no way to mature. Sort of like what SPA said.
"I still do that, I don't really pay 100% attention, or study every little line on a report... I just skim through things... put in loads of factors together while moving are any other arieses like this? big picture sort of thing?"
I wish I can say I'm like that but I'm not. I think my Virgo rising has a lot more bearing on me than I've thought. Because I'm a perfectionist, I'm very meticulous when it comes to school work... well sometimes the Aries inside me gets the better of me and I have spurts of impatience. But usually I will read things slowly, make sure all my notes are perfect. I remember in high school I would keep throwing away notes that didn't look perfect, or rewrite them so they were. It's funny because this perfectionist side of me is always fighting with my impatience. I think I'm OCD, because if I've just cleaned up and something goes out of order or out of whack I get so mad in my mind because shit this is taking forever to do again and it's all wrong... bleh XP. Especially if I drop things, i feel like it's a waste of time picking it up again. But I'm not always a perfectionist or clean freak.
Hey Zennie!!!!
Schools going great, this should technically be my last year of school, but since I've moved back to Cali, I'm still waiting to transfer back to a University before I graduate. I haven't even taken my MCAT's yet... But I'm getting there. I'll just be in school a lot longer than most doctors... that's ok though Asians have good genes, and by the time I'm 30 I'll still look like I'm in my 20's. Everyone now always thinks I'm like in high school, at the oldest they've guessed is 19. How are you doing? How's life? You know you've never told me what you're doing in life... what are you doing? Having fun... it sounds like it .
I wish I can say I'm like that but I'm not. I think my Virgo rising has a lot more bearing on me than I've thought. Because I'm a perfectionist, I'm very meticulous when it comes to school work... well sometimes the Aries inside me gets the better of me and I have spurts of impatience. But usually I will read things slowly, make sure all my notes are perfect. I remember in high school I would keep throwing away notes that didn't look perfect, or rewrite them so they were. It's funny because this perfectionist side of me is always fighting with my impatience. I think I'm OCD, because if I've just cleaned up and something goes out of order or out of whack I get so mad in my mind because shit this is taking forever to do again and it's all wrong... bleh XP. Especially if I drop things, i feel like it's a waste of time picking it up again. But I'm not always a perfectionist or clean freak.
Hey Zennie!!!!
Schools going great, this should technically be my last year of school, but since I've moved back to Cali, I'm still waiting to transfer back to a University before I graduate. I haven't even taken my MCAT's yet... But I'm getting there. I'll just be in school a lot longer than most doctors... that's ok though Asians have good genes, and by the time I'm 30 I'll still look like I'm in my 20's. Everyone now always thinks I'm like in high school, at the oldest they've guessed is 19
. How are you doing? How's life? You know you've never told me what you're doing in life... what are you doing? Having fun... it sounds like it .lol! ^ crazy...
Yea you know, I would say I have perfectionist tendencies but the impatience catches up... so I skim through the reports loads of times.... but skimming... no OCD here, just ADD...
I'm an Engineer ardent, boring *yawn*
by the time I'm 30 I'll still look like I'm in my 20's.
very true! I have a colleague over 10yrs older than me but I look older! phssft!
So how long will the transfer take?
Superpowers is right too!
Yea you know, I would say I have perfectionist tendencies but the impatience catches up... so I skim through the reports loads of times.... but skimming... no OCD here, just ADD...
I'm an Engineer ardent, boring *yawn*
by the time I'm 30 I'll still look like I'm in my 20's.
very true! I have a colleague over 10yrs older than me but I look older! phssft!
So how long will the transfer take?
Superpowers is right too!
mechanical... you?
Nice subject.
It went really strange for me.
at 19i had funny friends who were also very immature...
after 19 i gew up in like a month. i didn't liked my childish friends
and i started to look for real ones.
It went really strange for me.
at 19i had funny friends who were also very immature...
after 19 i gew up in like a month. i didn't liked my childish friends
and i started to look for real ones.
WOW ! ^ COOL
I was in civil but switched - was too focused for me...
I was in civil but switched - was too focused for me...
coverdinscars
u don't know my situation !
I was immature in my early years and most of my friends
were that too. I went mature and i just didnt liked their style of
immatureness, so we grew apart.
u don't know my situation !
I was immature in my early years and most of my friends
were that too. I went mature and i just didnt liked their style of
immatureness, so we grew apart.
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