Need Help with a LEO! Please!!!

I posted this on the Leo board, but I figure there may be some aries with valuable leo experience...so I'm posting here too.

Things have been going well with my leo - relationship almost 4 months old, and he has been steadily getting his life on track, dealing with ex, three yr old, getting his biz licensed and running - working like a one man factory.

Finally, over labor day, we were able to take a four day romantic vacay out of town, where he opened up like some kind of beautiful flower as soon as we got out of the city. Throughout the weekend he said all the sweet things about the future I wanted to hear. And many more I never expected... I didn't even have to open my mouth. He always has said sweet things... including 'I love you' the day we met, but these were far deeper, and very articulate.

A few days later he gave me keys to his place and tried hard to take an active role in being in my world, meeting friends, etc.. Due to his work/life/kid, its very hard for him to be free for this.

Then - last week, perhaps a week after all this, he started getting way busy again, and as a result way exhausted, and not really available, even when we were face to face. After not seeing him due to his work, we had one night together, (no sex -- he's been too tired). In the a.m., we had a tiff, and he bit my head off completely, disproportionately - asked for his keys back, and refused to talk about any of it. Would not see me, though continued to call every day, becoming less and less gruff, but still would not talk bout it.

Finally this morning over the phone, he told me that he needs to take a step back. That he needs the time to get his life together. He said it was extremely hard for him to say this to me, and hurt him a lot, and he doesn't want to cut me out of his life, but he knows its unfair to me otherwise. His obligations are legion. He's dealing with a very messy financial situation, and he just wants to work his ass off until he feels like he's got his butter together. He doesn't want to let me go, but he doesn't want me to have expectations he cannot realistically fulfill at this time - thus he can't be committed.

I definitely support him in the majority of this decision. And I do not want a different man. My question is... what's the best way to support someone through something like this. I know he loves me. But its very difficult for an aries to do anything in half measures. What can I realistically ask of him at the moment?

Realistically, he has told you what to expect and what you can ask of him, right?

'I love you' --- 4 months in doesn't have as much weight if you don't know a person - he sounds overwhelmed so needs a friend maybe?

Aries offers good friendships mostly, try that with no expectations as friends don't make unrealistic expectations of the other...

There's an Aries-half-measured text for ya 😉

Realistically, you can't ask anything of him at the moment, but that doesn't mean you can't show him at times that you're still there and supporting his decision. Just because he wants to slow it all down and get a grip on his life doesn't mean you are totally out of the picture. It's the little things that matter to the Leos a lot of times.

Tell him you respect his decision, understand and that if he ever needs a break, or a time to talk/vent - you'll be there for him. In the mean time, do you want for him - little things.

By the way, I'm an Aries coming out of a 15 year relationship with a Leo man, 10 of those years we were married. We have a 5 year old little girl too - almost sounds like my ex you're describing. Why didn't it work after so long? People change and our egos were just too big to fit under one roof. We're better off as friends.

Let me also add to my "advice"...sometimes it gets pretty hard as an aries to continually support someone and not get your efforts reciprocated to some degree. My past experience was such that I felt like I gave and gave to my Leo and really got nothing in return - I wasn't asking for the sun and moon mind you, hell, just a little "thank you" from time to time for my efforts would have been nice. Just my two cents. I have not problem giving 110% to someone I love but after a while the scales need to balance in the giving and receiving department.

Hey thanks for your comments. Run262, I know where you're coming from. Though I do receive a ton of appreciation from my leo, I have a much more free-flowing life style , and far fewer obligations. I've planned my life that way so I never have to get too stressed out.

He works til he drops. As a result, I always have to fit into his schedule, thus, he's always in control. That's the main problem. The love and feel good factor is huge though, for both of us.

Right now, we're still trying to find the time to have our 'talk' before our 'step back', but he's so busy, although he's got intentions toward it, he can't find the time.

Was there ever anything you could say that would stop your leo in his tracks and make him wake up and smell the coffee? At this point, I'd have to pay his hourly rate to get a minute with him.

"Was there ever anything you could say that would stop your leo in his tracks and make him wake up and smell the coffee? At this point, I'd have to pay his hourly rate to get a minute with him."

Unfortunately, for me, no not really. That was the problem - he just put himself first constantly - he couldn't see that it wasn't always about him, even when it wasn't about him, he made it so. I'm not saying that it's hopeless for you but for me it was. Even to this day, we still but heads about everything - we get along, but we but heads.

For example, I can call him up and say, "hey I just wanted to let you know your daughter might be getting sick, she woke up with a fever this morning and was coughing"...his reponse without fail will be "god, I hope I don't get it - I can't afford to miss any work as it is being self employeed."...I don't know, maybe it's just me, but that response bothers me, I'm like, "hello, this isn't about you, this is about your 5 year old being sick and needing some medical care"...idiot.

smell what coffee if I may ask?

Thanks... and oh well - He broke up with me this morning - out of the blue. Said it was very painful, but he didn't have it in him for a relationship. Didn't want to see me. Told me he was loved me very much, but everything had 'suddenly changed' and getting his life on track was the most important thing. And yet, called a few hours later to laugh and joke with me about something immaterial. Everything feels quite topsy turvy and confused. He says I am perfect, wonderful, etc, and he's doing it for me because he's not the man to match me right now. Says he knows what potential we have, and how good we are together. Says he knows he needs my love, support etc... but just doesn't want to participate because he can't give back.

So yes, I suppose it is all about him. Probably for the best. I expect though that he expects me to be just as sweet to him as always, and as giving. I don't think I can do that.

oh that's too bad - take care of yourself

Ugh...I'm sorry to hear this. And the call he made to you a few hours later - don't let him continue to do that. If he does it again, and he will, tell him he can't have it both ways - he can't call and "chit/chat" like never nothing in one breath and then turn around and tell you he loves you/you're perfect for him, blah blah blah, but he's breaking up because it's best for YOU—

Give me a break. Tell him you have too much self-respect and that you're worthy of better treatment than this and that you hope he can get his life on track. We all want to "get our life on track" it's what we do when while "life is happening". It's the human condition to want things on track - they never will be, instead, along the way you hope to find someone to share the experience with...you get what I'm saying.

There are other fish out there - you deserve better.

Good luck.

Well -- After calling me most every day since the break-up, with differing degrees of concern, affability, had an asthma attack landed in the hospital for the night, hectic-I'm-busy-just checking in, jovial, etc... there was a three day silence (just when I'd decided not to ever answer the phone again if he called), and then suddenly today, he wants to come over on Sat and cook dinner for some mutual friends of ours that are coming in from out of town. I haven't seen him in almost three weeks. He was entirely solicitous, and sweet, in his gruff way. He has almost never come to my home in the four months we were together. His tone was very much like his boyfriend tone, and he said goodbye with a see you later gorgeous.

What's going on?

And how do I make sure, after the mini hell that this put me through, that it doesn't happen again. I know. I can't make sure, but seriously, I have a very clear feeling that he's hoping that I'll just 'forget' that he had a little collapse of the heart, and not say anything. I am not feeling very affectionately towards him, no matter how much I love him.

Let him have a break Libras are like this me thinks > work hard play hard and then fizzle out for a while, its alright but your relationship doesn't necessarily have to be devoid of intimacy